mssky

the world chuckled to me

with a little tremor

and a thin breeze that cut 

through my cheeks

as it swayed with it to my side

the scene that swept me off my feet

ah, yes. what used to be unkown

appeared to be empty

what used to be denied

had peeled to be real

what was ignored

slit my skin

from within the surface

and as a momentary death passed my way

i felt my hand tremble

and my heart cease its deed

was i robbed off my life

when it came to me

that the gaze i never 

cared for wasn’t really given?

perhaps. and as i became aware

that things like these could

be real i became

someone completely ignored,

utterly distant and

pathetically reaching out for 

the star.

that little piercing ray of grace

that doesn't seem to be there

became all it took

for my night sky 

to glimmer

blankly as i wandered

know it never grant wishes

i shut my longing soul

away from consciousness

til the next denial

til the next vagueness

til the next encounter

maybe and just maybe

it would be less frightening

for this kind of bliss,

for this another silver lining

to be hoped for.

WIP Challenge

The rules are as follows: go to page 7 of a WIP, skip to the 7th line, share 7 lines (or however much you want) and tag 7 more writers to continue the challenge. Share 7 lines (or however much you want) and tag 7 more writers to continue the challenge.

I was tagged by @thebestpersonherelovesbucky and @mademoisellemigraine. Oh ho ho you sly little devils, you. You just wanted to find out what @spitandvinegar and I are up to, didn’tcha? 

WELL ok you’re in luck. 

So, we don’t have…”pages”…so far, because, listen, it’s hard to explain, what’s with all the questions, what are you, a cop? but I do have this fab teaser: 

A note written in a neat, angular script on a piece of thick unlined paper.


Things That Steve Needs

shampoo
oatmeal
apples
rye
pastrami
lettuce
tomatoes
macaroni
protein bars
ensure (400 calorie kind)
chicken breasts (big pack)
baking soda

Things That Bucky Needs










Dear Buck,

As you can see, this is a grocery list. I’m shoving this under your door so that you can add what you need to it before I put on my definitely-not-Captain-America costume and go to the store. If you don’t add anything I’m going to assume that you really have died in there and kick the door in. You know I try not to mother hen you but when you don’t see the guy that you live with for three days you start to worry a little. The last time I saw you was the other night when I walked in on you eating all of my apples in the kitchen in the dark and I didn’t even get a good enough look at you to tell if all of your parts are still attached because you scattered like a cockroach when I turned the light on. Not that I think you resemble a cockroach in most of your fine qualities but you have to admit that kind of behavior invites the comparison.

I wish you would at least tell me what I’ve done wrong so I could fix it. If we’re going to be stuck hiding out together for the rest of our lives I’d like to at least be able to talk to you sometimes. Or see you. Or hear you breathing. Really any evidence of life would be swell. I’m not picky.

Steve

P.S. The costume is mostly a beard. I’ve grown a beard. I’m telling you this in a note even though you’re my best friend and we live together because you’ve been refusing to look at me or speak to me or be in the same room with me for weeks and might not have noticed the horrible beard that I’ve grown (it’s really horrible, I bet you’ll hate it, I look like one of those guys who reenacts Gettysburg. I bet you’ll laugh like crazy when you see it, if you ever see it.

The last sentence of the note has been scribbled out.


The following night, the note is on the floor outside the bedroom door, like it’s been simply pushed back out. Written in a somewhat careless but still (mostly) legible scrawl in the blank spot is this:

Сообщение получено.

bananas
peaches
pears
кофе
M&Ms
sky bars (3)
сигареты
Red Bull

нет яблоки.

cпасибо. я в порядке. уходи.

Accompanying it is a handful of small change totalling about two dollars.


SO! There you go! A teaser for the untitled epistolary project!

I’m supposed to tag people for this but the only person I am going to formally tag is @theredstarofjustice because I want him to be proud of my improved Russian vocab, which I am pleased to say now extends outside of an assortment of swears.

What I DO want, though, is if you’re writing something right now that you wanna share, just ACT like I tagged you. Post it and tag me. I will back you up, friend.

and i am back again II

back again to being a witch. nobody should come near me or i might hurt them. i never wanted to hurt anyone. or distamce myself. but i need to or i’ll just damage myself more.

i am so feel with hatred today. my cabinet is full of childish-drawings driven by rage. i am such a psycho. the people i love would turn their backs on me because i am such a distasteful person.

i feel so hurt i could kill myself. i never wanted to feel this way. it’s not something i could steer myself from. it’s an occurrence happening at irate patterns.

if i ever stab myself again, will you promise me you’d go on with your life. you found happiness and i should leave you.

i can’t be a part of it because i am such a tragedy. i am a broken piece of sunrise and sunset one should never see.

my happiness could burn you and i could never digest being selfish. i hope to just die away.

to fade from this forever. but when i go, take care of yourself. i can’t bet here anymore. you are a hurt, a black gas of pain diffusing whenever you wish.

i see my sadness when i look into those eyes. i sense doom and misery. i am not healthy anymore for the both of us.

Ang Oo Ay Hindi Kung Hindi Oo

Gusto ko lang malaman mo na ngayong gabi
Hindi na ako naguguluhan. Ako lamang
Ay buong malay na kumokontra at naghihimagsik
Sa aking sarili pagkat mahal kita
Ngunit hindi kita mahal

Na babangon ako bukas at lalakarin
Ang landas na walang daraanan
Lakaring walang paroroonan sapagkat
Di kita mahal ngunit mahal kita

At kung naguguluhan ka, ako ay
Hindi sapagkat ‘yan ay gaya lamang ng
Isang gabing naglipana ang ulap at namatak
Ng luha masabi lamang na, oo
Tunay na walang bituin sa kalangitan
Ngunit kahit anong ating gawin, ay sadyang
May bituin sa kalangitan

Yan ay gaya lamang ng pagpapalunod ko
Sa karimlan, sisidin ko man ang
karagatan at doo'y sabihin wala
Walang parang at kabundukan ay
Sila'y nariyan, sadyain ko mang di silayan

Kaya ngayon, ako'y papikit na
Sinasamantala ang sandaling nanghihina
Ang aking gising na diwang
Walang awa kung mamwersa ay
Pipilitin kong mamulat
Para sa paggising ng aking mapanlarong
Panaginip;
Habang namamaos ang aking palautos
na ulirat ay unti-unti kong madidinig ang
natabunang haranang lagi lang namang
sumasaloy kasabay ng tahimik kong damdamin;
Ay sasabihin kong, oo
Di ako naguguluhan
Ako'y nanlalaban

Sapagkat mahal kita ngunit
Hindi kita mahal.

In a limbo of extremities at the
sight of an immaculate, superficial,
non-existent i don’t know
i hear people shout and speak of it
like heaven has parted the skies
to kiss their lips
i hear them sing and call it Bliss.

Bliss
for something that taught me
every nation’s dirtiest profanity
Just how would I orphan that of which
leaves and takes with it your breath away?

Like a tin, empty can sinking
to an abyssal stroke of melancholia
and every strange thing
i feel the pressure in the depths of
what seemed a calm, ethereal ocean
press and clench and grapple me
into a crumpled sheet of metal

For i was hollow
for i was nothing
For there was nothing
but a wave of something that
had bared me vulnerable.

-Misnomer

Ang bango ng kumot ko
ang kapal pa, ansarap nyang ipambalot sa katawan
pero feeling ko mas masaya syang
ipulupot sa leeg ko at isabit
sa kisame para di lang ang panlalamig
na nararamdaman ko ang mawala
kundi lahat ng humihigop
ng saya ko sa mundo

Pag nagpaalam ako, alam kong
di mo na ito maririnig
pagkat mas nauna ka pa sa
aking makaalis
gayun pa man, kahit ako'y
tanga at di ko alam
kung ito ba ang pinakabobong
pag-asa, sasabihin ko
sayo na wala ka ng
mababalikan, tumingin ka
sa taas at ako'y isang lumulutang
na lupa at dilat na katotohanang
ako'y lumisan

Hard Candy

i bought my candy, wrapped around with gold
a wiggle of colors
reflecting my thoughts
under the sky inviting to be
just as sunny as its grand company

i bought another, pink and fluffy
taking a bite, a pinch or more
so phase by phase
as the sweetness melts, it will
wipe the air with the fragrant smell

i like how the strays of strands
loose from my updo
to blur with delight
my glance of direction
and dance the step of a gleeful passion

but i like you more
i like you best
with all the scars around your chest
with all the scratch
on the bark of your wrist
with all the bruises
tucked behind your sleeves

i like how you keep
you pinky nail long
and curse and stare and apologize for all
i like little things with the taste of a rainbow
but love is your warmth
amidst rain and thunder