ms giggles

What kind of talking are y’all doing?!

Wayfaring: So what’s new here today?

Nurse T: Well I’ve been off for 2 days but I came back today to find out that Ms. E and Mr. J are….friends now. 


Nurse S:  I heard they kissed on the patio last night!


Wayfaring: So, Ms. E, I hear you have a new friend.

Ms. E: Oh yeah, *giggles* Mr. J. We sit up real late at night and talk on the patio. 

Wayfaring: *thinking*


Wayfaring: Hey have y’all seen Ms. B? She’s not in her room.

Nurse: Oh she’s probably in Mr. P’s room.


Nurse: Oh yeah, they’re friends too.

Wayfaring, headed to Mr. P’s room: Got it!

Nurse: *yells down the hall* Knock first! 


Wayfaring: Ms. B, I didn’t know you and Mr. P were such good friends.

Ms. B: Welllll…. he’s um… intelligent and I like to listen to him.


I hope I’m doing this right. I think you are; you’re not chain ganging up on anything. What? Never mind. So you think this is the right way? Sigh. May the force be with you. Thanks.

People of Earth

Stop me if you’ve heard this before… from me… here’s what will happen this week according to the overmedicated brain cells in boyneriver’s head.

Mr. Heughan assists Ms Balfe’s exit from a beautiful black Lincoln Town Car. They take each other’s hand and walk onto the red carpet, their perfect lips resplendent in smiles.

Kristin Dos Santos, with the brightest gleam in her eyes ever, approaches them, microphone in hand.

boyneriver moves to the edge of her couch and tells the cats not to hog the popcorn.

Mr. Heughan and Ms Balfe are barely able to contain their giggling.

Ms Do Santos says, “Sam, are you now ready to answer the question, ‘Is Sam Heughan single?’”

boyneriver moves from the couch to 10 centimetres (six inches) in front of the TV screen.

Mr. Heughan says, “Yes, I am ready, and no, I’m not single.”

The crowd in boyneriver’s living room goes crazy.

Mr. Heughan adds, “Caitriona and I got married in November at blank in blank. Blank and blank and blank were with us; blank and blank were with us in spirit. It was truly lovely. We couldn’t be happier.” He kisses her on the cheek.

boyneriver jumps to her feet and shouts, “YES!” The cats jump in response to her shouting.

Ms Balfe says, “Aw, thanks Babe” to Mr. Heughan, not boyneriver, and kisses him on the cheek.

Ms Dos Santos congratulates the happy couple.

She asks to see their wedding rings, then asks five previously-selected questions about the wedding and their immediate future.

Mr. Heughan and Ms Balfe graciously display their rings, and answer each question thoroughly and joyfully. They embrace each other and kiss, deeply, sweetly, lovingly on the lips.

Ms Dos Santos needs a minute.

boyneriver opens her second box of Kleenex®. One cat coughs up a popcorn kernel hairball.

Ms Balfe politely, assertively explains she and Mr. Heughan request all future questions directed to them during the next number-of-seasons-relevant-to-the-number-of-books be about their television show.

boyneriver and her cats simultaneously say, “We love you, Caitriona!”

Mr. Heughan adds how much they appreciate their fans’ enthusiasm for his and Caitriona’s personal relationship, but they want fan focus directed on what brought everyone together, Outlander.

boyneriver and her cats simultaneously say, “We love you, Sam!”

Ms Dos Santos thanks them, congratulates them again, extends her best wishes for a happy marriage, and wishes them luck on the awards stage.

boyneriver and her cats spontaneously combust.

Like I said, stop me if you’ve heard this before.