ms excuse me

I got this Spanish chica, she don’t like me to roam
So she call me cabron plus marricon
Said she likes to cook rice so she likes me home
I’m like, “Un momento” - mami, slow up your tempo

I got this black chick, she don’t know how to act
Always talkin out her neck, makin her fingers snap
She like, “Listen Jigga Man, I don’t care if you rap
You better - R-E-S-P-E-C-T me”

I got this French chick that love to french kiss
She thinks she’s Bo Derek, wear her hair in a twist
My, cherie amor, t£ est belle
Merci, you fine as fuck but you givin me hell

I got this Indian squaw the day that I met her
Asked her what tribe she with, red dot or feather
She said all you need to know is I’m not a ho
And to get with me you better be Chief Lots-a-Dough

I got this young chick, she so immature
She like, “Why you don’t buy me Reeboks no more?”
Like to show out in public, throw tantrums on the floor
Gotta toss a couple dollars, just to shut up her holla

Got a project chick, that plays her part
And if it goes down y'all that’s my heart
Baby girl so thorough she been with me from the start
Hid my drugs from the NARCs, hid my guns by the parts

I got this model chick that don’t cook or clean
But she dress her ass off and her walk is mean
Only thing wrong with ma she’s always on the scene
God damn she’s fine but she parties all the time

I get frequent flier mileage from my stewardess chick
She look right in that tight blue dress, she’s thick
She gives me extra pillows and seat back love
So I had to introduce her to the Mile High Club

I got this paranoid chick, she’s scared to come to the house

A hypochondriac who says ouch before I whip it out

Got a chick from Peru, that sniff Peru
She got a cousin at customs that get shit through

Got this weedhead chick, she always catch me doin shit
Crazy girl wanna leave me but she always forgets

Got this Chinese chick, had to leave her quick’
Cause she kept bootleggin my shit

I got this African chick with Eddie Murphy on her skull
She like, “Jigga Man, why you treat me like animal?”
I’m like excuse me Ms. Fufu, but when I met your ass
you was dead broke and naked, and now you want half

I got this ho that after twelve million sold
Mami’s a narcolyptic, always sleepin on Hov’
Gotta tie the back of her head like Deuce Bigalow
I got so many girls across the globe..

Mischievous Maintenance (M)

Summary: You have an eventful Monday, thanks to the ever-resourceful head maintenance technician who works in your office.

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 6,913

Warning: MaintenanceTechnician!Jimin, workplace hookup, sexual themes, dirty talk, rough sex, oral sex, profanity

Series: Working Man Bangtan

A/N: Hope you enjoy this quick and dirty oneshot!

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  • James: Woman, lend me fi' galleons.
  • Lily: James, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman".
  • James: Excuse me, "Ms. Lily."
  • Lily: Thank you.
  • James: Okay, but, street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones.
New Neighbors

You move into your new apartment, and discover Jonghyun and Jisoo, the adorable father-daughter duo across the hallway. It doesn’t hurt that Jonghyun is incredibly attractive.

  • non-idol au
  • single father!jonghyun

“That’s the last one,” you said to yourself proudly, staring down at the boxes that surrounded you. Pushing your hair back from your sweaty face, you couldn’t help but nod, happy that you were finally moving in.

It was your last year of college, and you’d decided to move into your own apartment. All of your friends had been busy on the day you’d decided to move in, about a month before classes began, so you’d had to lug up all your boxes of things and all the furniture yourself. It hadn’t been easy, but you’d gotten it done.

Just as you were about to settle onto the floor, arms splayed out, the doorbell rang. You groaned inwardly, hurrying to answer it.

“Hi.” Your breath caught as soon as you yanked open the door. One of the most gorgeous guys you’d ever seen was standing there, smiling slightly. He was dressed casually, jeans and a t-shirt, his black hair falling into his eyes.

“Welcome!” A much higher-pitched, squeaky voice exclaimed. Your eyes travelled down from the guy to the small figure clinging onto his outstretched hand—a young girl, maybe 4 or 5, stood there, grinning widely. You cooed mentally at how adorable she was, with slightly chubby cheeks, tiny hands and a missing front tooth.

“We just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood,” the guy said gently with a small smile. You turned your attention back to him, and couldn’t help but notice how nice his voice was. “Right, baby?” He glanced down at the small girl, voice tender. Your heart was actually melting.

“Right!” The young girl nodded, shoving a container towards you, “we baked you cookies!”

You smiled widely, crouching down so that you were eye-level with the girl, “did you really? That’s awesome, you’re an angel! Thank you.”

The girl grinned again, revealing that missing tooth, “Daddy almost started a fire.” You grinned at how cute she was, glancing back up at the guy, who looked mildly embarrassed, but also used to the girl’s attitude.

“Thank you so much,” you told the guy, container of cookies in hand, “I really appreciate the gesture, I know you’re probably super busy, so thank you.”

“It’s no trouble,” the guy assured you with a smile, “We were once the new people in the building, so if you ever need help, feel free to ask, we’re right across the hall. I’m Jonghyun, and this is my daughter Jisoo.”

“I’m (y/n),” you replied, heart a puddle of goo over how adorable Jisoo was and how incredibly perfect Jonghyun was. “Thank you again, I really appreciate it.”

“Well, we’ll see you around,” Jonghyun said, and you nodded quickly in agreement, “have a nice night.”

“I hope you have fun living here!” Jisoo smiled up at you, making you smile back.

“Thank you, have a nice night as well!”

As you closed the door, you placed a hand over your pounding heart.  Jonghyun was actually perfect, what the hell. He was incredibly handsome, kind, and he clearly cared a lot about his daughter, who was also a total sweetheart.

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Smooth lines,
In opposition.
Nice curves,
severe contrast
to the hard straight lines.
They share space,
we follow to look.


zdspOtted the other zdmOtiOn blog
zdspOtted a new look on the photo
zdspOtted experimental photography.


Notes: this is a short imagine that i collaborated with Joanna (@/cutieeholland) on twitter! hope you guys enjoy and make sure to check her account out (:


You had come to visit tom on the set of infinity war. You hadn’t seen each other for a week due to your tough schedules, so you were really excited to see him.

While Tom was working on his last scene for infinity war, you decide to go and take something to eat from the table they kept the snacks for the actors. 

First you pick up a small cookie and before you can even realize it, you’ve already eaten half of the cookies. You move on to edit the little sandwiches and you would probably finish that plate too but one of the security guards stopped you. 

“Excuse me Ms….?”

 “(Y/l/n)” you reply quickly to him “Haven’t seen you here before? Are you working on this movie?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. 

 “You mean as an actress?”

“No as a plant!” he replies ironically and you laugh thinking he was actually making a joke. 

“Ms. If you are not an actress on this movie I’m afraid I’m gonna have to ask you to lea–” 

“She’s with me Jack!” you hear a voice saying from behind. The sound of his voice makes your heart beat faster. You can feel his warmth behind you and he’s not even touching you. You close your eyes just so Can enjoy his voice even more as he goes on speaking.

 “Don’t worry bud, it’s alright!” his hand lands on your shoulder and you open your eyes, unable to hide your smile. You think about how you are gonna sink in his arms the minute the guard leaves you alone. 

“Give her a badge next time tom! You’ll get me in trouble with all the friends you keep bringing in here!” 

“Noted sir!” he breathes upon the back of your neck as he lets out those two words, which makes your body shiver. 

The security guard gives you both a nod and walks away. You bite your lip, staying still on your position. You feel him getting closer to you and his hand slips from your shoulder, down to your hand that is on the table, holding the sandwich. 

The electricity from your hands, travels quickly up to your chest. 

You can hear him as he chuckles softly when he sees the sandwich in your hand. 

“Don’t do it Holland!” you warn him, closing your eyes. Tom’s fingers stroke the back of your hand gently and then he quickly grabs the sandwich of your hands!

 “YOU JERK!” you shout Quickly while turning to face him. Your sandwich is long gone and he laughs while chewing on it. 

You can see all the little details on his face as he smiles and laughs. All the details that you had missed. Like the way the lines underneath his eyes create little tiny smiles he laughs. Or the way his cheeks go red and his smile reaches his ears. Everything about him is so cute and unique. He’s like a kid. Finally you wake up and hit him playfully on the shoulder “that was my sandwich!„ you complain jokingly and he shrugs after swallowing it. 

“You want your sandwich?”

“Damn right I want my sandwich!”

“You wanna taste your sandwich!”

“Yeah I wanna–” you stop realizing what he meant and your face turns red as he comes closer, only a breath away from you “you know what? You can be the sandwich!” He pulls you closer to him, pinning you against his body and laughs.

“Tom I swear! you are disgusting!” you say and he leans in smiling. 

 His lips touch yours and in that moment the whole world disappears. It’s just you and him and you love him so much. 

He stops for second, his forehead leaning on yours. His heavy breath hits you right in your cheeks. Your body against his. 

“I missed you so much!” he whispers and then slams his lips upon yours again. His hand travels from your your back down to your thighs and you laugh. It took you all the strength you had but you placed your hands on his chest and pushed him away. 

“Not here tom!”


“Because there are people watching!„ you say, stating the obvious “what if someone takes a pic and this ends up on twitter? Do you want this to end up on twitter..or??”

“Or?” he asked, bumped that you stopped your make out session. 

“Or Snapchat!” you say, whispering. 

“Oh my god I hate Snapchat!”

“I know you do babe!” you say, nodding. 

“Well I have an idea!” he smirks 

“Oh no..”

“Men’s bathroom.” He states simply, a sly smirk forming on his lips. 

You immediately shake your head but laugh when he reaches for your hand and begins to pull you with him. “That’s so unsanitary! Anyone can walk in!” 

He chuckles but pursues his way until you reach an empty hallway. He walks into a room labelled “Men’s” and pulls you inside. He turns and locks the door behind him and then turns to face you slowly. 

You bite your lip, just thinking about the different things that could happen once he reached you. 

He steps forward and you step back until your back hits the wall. His palms lay flat on the wall, on either side of your face, completely surrounding you. 

He gazes down at you with the most intense look you’ve ever seen before he leans down slowly and his lips meet yours once again. Your hands fly up to his hair, his fingers weaving into his smooth curls. Your mouths move in sync, in complete rhythm and it almost makes you lightheaded. His hands have dropped down to hold your waist flush against him and you feel his warmth radiate onto you everywhere. 

The kiss grows more intense when you feel the tip of his tongue caress your bottom lip gently. You comply and open your mouth as his tongue meets yours. The feeling is something else and you can’t help me the small moan that escapes from the back of your throat. 

There’s a sudden knock and the rattle of the door handle. 

 You and Tom break the kiss but stay pressed onto one another. You both turn to face the door, completely in shock.

You don’t hear any more noise coming from the other side. Tom gradually turns his head to look down at you before both of you burst out laughing.

“Shh! Shh!” He places his finger against your lips but you can’t stop giggling. “I think we should continue this later…” 

You nod and continue laughing as you lead the way to the door. You unlock it and open it but as you walk out, you stand facing the one and only Robert Downey Jr.. 

 You stop mid-step and then feel Tom bump against you from behind. 

“Oh shit,” he whispers from behind you. 

Robert just looks at the both of you and you can tell he’s trying really hard not to smirk. Instead, he opens his arm to indicate for you to keep walking as he says, “I hope you guys flushed and washed your hands.” 

You and Tom dart past him, laughing your asses off. 


There are days of very intense blue sky,
Others in turn are cloudy, and with sun
create beautiful dramatic effects.


zdspOtted the other zdmOtiOn blog
zdspOtted a new look on the photo
zdspOtted experimental photography

Mints? (Evan Hansen x Reader)


WC: 1,174

There was only so much Advil could do for a person. Advil can help with headaches, backaches, cramps, stomach aches and pains from having a cold. The one thing it cannot do is cure anxiety. That’s a thing Heidi didn’t understand. When Evan was in junior high and he’d tell his mom that his stomach hurt, she would give him two Advils and a big glass of water. It never gave him any relief and it took him a while to realize that. When he did, he decided to stop telling Heidi when he felt sick because it never helped him. Now he just sat and tried to ignore it.

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