I was talking to my mother the other day about Jared Leto’s Joker. She admitted to me that she thought he was really sexy when she saw Suicide Squad. A few days later, I showed her something to do with Supernatural and she said: “Joker might be sexy, but he’s no Dean.”
This got me thinking. I think the types of crushes we have on celebrities can be broken down into AT LEAST three categories. There are probably more, but we might discover that other categories are just subheadings under these three. Let me explain.
Type One: The Ones You Want To Do All Kinds Of Wrong With.
These are the individuals that you see on TV or in films who turn you on so badly that you don’t know what to do with yourself. To compensate, you read and write copious amounts of fanfiction in order to relieve the frustration.
These people can be psychopaths
They can be heroes
They can be legendary and magical
No matter what their back story is, where they’ve been, what they’ve done, or where they’re going, you just can’t resist their charms. They’re the ones that make you imagine doing things that would make your mother blush.
Type Two: The Ones You Want To Take Care Of.
This might be a sub-genre of the first type, but maybe not. These are people who definitely turn you on, who you’ve read/written wonderfully naughty things about, and they’re people who, above all else, you just want to take care of.
These people can be geniuses
They can have hearts of gold that were led astray
They can be angry at the world
They can be lost souls
Or they can be the comic relief
They’re the ones that make you weak at the knees, but also make you want to reach out and hold them close so that they never have to experience the horrors of the world. Sure, you’ll entertain the occasional smutty fantasy, but it’s a deeper love than the type one crush awakens in you.
Type Three: The Ones You Keep Coming Back To.
These are the ones that you love above everyone else. They are the people who make every other celebrity, every other character, fade away. They are, at least in my case, the bravest, strongest, most loyal, most pure, the funniest, and the truest.
These are the people we love both in character
And for us hopeless romantics, they’re the ones who give us hope that romance isn’t dead.
These are the ones that we will drop everything for. They’re the ones that make everything ok again. They’re the ones that we are drawn back to like the Earth to the sun. Everyone else falls excruciatingly short compared to them. And they’re the ones we just couldn’t live without.
What are your thoughts? Are there more types of celebrity crushes? What are they? Who fit into your type one, two and three?
Merlin was just getting to the showers when he heard a noise behind the
lockers, it seemed like someone was choking or something, his mind
immediately working a mile a minute, trying to remember everything he
heard or read about choking, asphyxiations and the like, already
planning the best way to help whoever it was, preparing himself to the
worst and best case scenario. He could not have prepared himself for
that, tough. There was in all his golden glory, Arthur Pendragon, Mr.
Posh and Athletic™, down on his knees, choking on some older boy’s cock.