mrs crane

When was the last time each of the Gotham Rogues cried?

Harley Quinn: Two weeks ago. She saw one of those ASPCA commercials while watching Doctor Phil with Ivy and cried about the sad puppies for an hour and a half

Poison Ivy: Three months ago this coming Sunday. She was terrorizing Gotham (as you do) when some little boy told her that Mushrooms didn’t count as plants and they got into an argument.

Catwoman: The last time she got arrested. She figured that some crocodile tears might help her escape- unsurprisingly, it worked

Joker: has this man,, ever seen, or shed,,,,,, a Tear of His Own?

Riddler: Last night. He was getting caught up on Ghost Adventures at 1 am when he saw a shake weight he bought months ago and realized that he was never gonna use it

Killer Croc: Also last night. Hes got feelings, and it’s not wrong to let them out, Karen!!

Penguin: Two months ago. He got shampoo in his real eye while in the shower and proceeded to sob for two hours

Scarecrow: twelve days ago. He got to his dentist appointment late and didn’t want people to assume that he was a human disaster but he didn’t know how to tell the secretary that he was there and just ended up throwing up in the bathroom before leaving

Mr. Freeze: he’s crying right now- what can I say he’s a loving and supportive Husband who just wants his beautiful Wife back,, dang it now I’m crying too

Two-Face: three days ago when he stubbed his toe. It hurt a lot but he had to stub the other one too or it wouldn’t be even and dammit now he’s got two stubbed toes!

Bane: Half a year ago. He doesn’t cry often but a certain local Gotham Drug Store will never forget the day they ran out of Bane’s favorite brand of Chocolate Protein Mix for the Muscles. They have not run out since.

Mad Hatter: Six hours ago. He read a nasty review online about the reboot Wonderland films

Bonus!!!

Red Hood: (Like I was gonna leave this emotional train wreck of a human being out of this) Last month. He occasionally goes to an old fashioned book club with some nice grandmas and their most recent read was The Warrior Cat spin off novel Crookedstar’s Promise

Gotham Rogues, a summary:

Joker: Edgy™
Harley Quinn: a better version of Edgy™
Poison Ivy: lesbian gardener
Catwoman: better than you
The Riddler: gay question mark
Mad Hatter: if emo was a person
Two-Face: it’s not a phase!!!
Scarecrow: spooky scary skeletons
Killer Croc: nice lizard man
Bane: do you even lift, bro
Penguin: i said a bird bird bird is the word
Deadshot: bang bang bitch
Mr. Freeze: deserved better
Clayface: dramatic pile of mush
Hush: white privilege

The Batman Rogues as Spongebob Quotes

Scarecrow: The sash wringing… the trash thinging… mash flinging… the flash springing, bringing the the crash thinging the… HASH SLINGING SLASHER!

Riddler: You may be an open book Spongebob, but I am a bit more complicated than that. The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma

Killer Croc: Do you smell it? That smell, the kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells…smelly

Two-Face: Isn’t this great Squidward? Just you & me together for hours and hours and hours! And then the sun’ll come up, and it’ll be tomorrow, and we’ll still be working! It’ll be just like a sleepover! Only we’ll be sweaty and covered with grease!

Penguin: Hmm, a five letter word for happiness…money!

Mad Hatter: So you mean to say they’ve taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we’ve been thinking our thoughts we think we thought?…I think.

Catwoman: Because of her mysterious behavior, I have decided to name her Mystery…Now that I think about it she’s also very graceful and majestic. Perhaps I should name her Grace or Majesty…or Debbie.

Poison Ivy: I’ll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden and I only cried for twenty minutes.

Harley Quinn:  See, no one says “cool” anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say “coral”, as in “That nose job is so coral.”

The Joker: F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for Uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!

Mr. Freeze: I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos!

Firefly: You know, if I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, well, that would be just okay.

Man-Bat: Yeah, uhh, we’re with the pet hospital down the street and I understand that you have a dying animal on the premises.

Clayface: This isn’t me millionth dollar, this is an ordinary dollar that’s been crumpled up, torn slightly, soaked in the lagoon and kissed with Coral Blue #2 semi-gloss lipstick!

Bane: I was a wimp before Anchor Arms. Now, I’m a jerk and everybody loves me! So order now, wimp!

4

I finally finished these!! I’ve spent the past week working on several things at once, but finally got my drawing project done~ Out of desire to re-design outfits for some of the Gotham villains, I drew them like fashion sketches (you can google what i mean) complete with modeling poses for fun~

though this took me a while, i’m very happy with how they turned out! I hope you guys enjoy my outfit designs (the only old one being Riddler’s; i’m kind of settled on it); you can click to get a better look at them! each outfit incorporates inspiration from their canon outfits combined with some sort of ‘fashion flair’ and were fun to create

(please don’t repost or use w/o permission, and leave my description; thanks!)

Something I want to happen in the DCEU

Arkham Asylum’s infamous hallway of Batman rouges from Batman TAS.

There’s a crawl shot of the hallway and several different camera angles have you get to see who’s in the cells without actually telling you but you’re supposed know by several hints.

The bars or the wall of glass has several things in that hint who occupys each cell.

-A silloute of a coin flipping in the air along with the sound of it landing and slight growling.

-Several green question marks written on the walls and several riddles followed by incoherent mumbling.

-A potted plant, looking Alive and healthy on a small shelf near a bed.

-A top of someone’s hair, which is brown obscured by the cell’s bars or the camera not panning down(for those who prefer the wall of glass) followed by the sound of a page turning in a book.

-A shot of a padded cell with someone in a straight jacket, rocking back and forth. The person’s feet has tally marks on it.

-A glass cell door that lacks airholes. Loud slurping and gurgling noises come from it. The camera isn’t panning down so all you hear is the liquid noises and a shout of “I gotta prepare for my next role.”

-A cell that has sticky notes of the days of the year all over the walls.

-A top hat with a ribbon around it, with a playing card tucked in the ribbon resting on the bed. Followed by mumblings of a white rabbit and finding someone named Alice.

-A cell that’s relatively normal. But there’s a scalpel covered in blood on the bed’s pillow.

-A cell that’s different from the rest in color.
The cell is blue, cold blue with several tubes flowing air into it.

-A cell that's​ completely empty. But it has several words written in some sort of purple crayon that say “HAHA” on the walls.

I think one thing I would love to fucking see is all of the Batman ‘villains’ getting treatment for their mental illnesses and their physical disabilities (Harvey Dent and Ventriloquist’s split-personality disorders, Ed’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and just see Arkham GENUINELY make attempts to help the people there.

I want to see the Batman’s Rogue Gallery actually rehabilitated into society. I don’t know if the Joker would be able to get help at this point since he refuses to truly accept help, but I want people like Victor, Ed, like Harley, like Harvey, Waylon, Crane, I want all of them to be able to lead relatively normal lives. I’d love if people treated Waylon as an actual fucking person, if they treated him with some decency.

Just… Batman criminals getting the help they need. Please. And it working.

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First two pages of a short scene i thought of from that ‘Riddler of Oz’ thing we were bouncing around a bit ago. I just wanted to have a little fun with a comic and some more of the rouges. Hopefully there’ll be more up soon! (it’s probably gonna be about 4-5 pages total)

5

Yes, I bought a giant sticker book just because of the multiple Scarecrow stickers. (don’t judge me) I gotta admit though, it’s been kinda fun filling out each page. Thankfully it comes with tons of extras that I can stick other places.

Lego Batman Movie: Ultimate Sticker Collection || Scanned at 300dpi

Arkham Asylum Survival Tips.

This is from my decaying Quotev account. I wrote this so long ago now, but I thought it might be fun to put it up here.

Arkham Asylum survival tips.
As you know there are do’s and do nots to incarceration at Arkham here are some for a slight chance of survival.

Do not think singing the Batman theme song is going to result in any thing other than a painful expierance.

Touch Dr Crane’s books at your own risk.

Asking Edward Nygma if he wants to talk about his ‘daddy issues’ isn’t smart he will kill you.

Telling Deathstroke that Deadpool would totally kick his ass is grounds for immediate medication for talking about fictional characters again.

Flirting with Joker is a new level of stupid but be prepared for a blonde crazed Brooklyn women to try and kill you.

If you should escape and get access to the rogue’s confiscated weapons unless you hundred percent know what your doing don’t touch them and even then it’s likely they will hunt you down and kill you for the inconvenience.

Asking Bane who his dealer is isn’t going to get you any venom.

Please stop asking Copperhead if she can teach you swear words in Spanish, we do have Spanish speaking inmates and doctors it’s not a secret way to insult people.

Yes, Dr Crane is not the strongest person here this isn’t a go ahead to try and dominate him if he doesn’t get you back straight away then I’d suggest sleeping with one eye open for the foreseeable future.

If Edward Nygma should take a disliking to you giving him some puzzle books on the side isn’t entirely a bad idea.

Threatening ivy with weed killer doesn’t scare her, her ‘babies’ are quite capable of looking after their selves.

Trying to persuade Selina Kyle to curl up in your lap like a kitten is your own funeral.

Shouting 'CROWS’ around Jonathan Crane just to try and scare him is going to result in a frightening death.

Asking Victor Zsasz to cut your food up for you is inviting trouble.

Asking Waylon Jones where captain hook is, will most likely end up with you missing body parts.

Touch Osito and you risk being broken.

Singing twisted fire starter at firefly may seem funny to you but God help you if he starts one.

Asking Edward Nygma what’s green, purple and black and regularly gets his ass handed to him by Batman is seriously stupid.

Telling Edward Nygma that he can use his Cain on you anytime he wants doesn’t sound sexual he will take you literally.

Asking if Crane wants a new test subject doesn’t sound sexual either he’ll gladly take you up on the offer.

Playing music aloud is permitted as one of your recreational activities but please be mindful of what you play as the last time someone played Justin Bieber aloud a fire broke out, a bomb went off, Bane smashed through two walls and Jarvis tried to initiate a flash mob.

Telling Harley you want to joke and fool around with her is in affect volunteering your head for a game of croquette.

Telling Jonathan crane that he is the grim reaper is only going to give him an ego boost.

Singing I’ve got a brand new combine harvester around Pamela isn’t wise.

If your not afraid of bombs then by all means scream capitalism on the top of your voice around Anarchy.

If you should be unlucky enough to draw the attentions of Jarvis Tetch then it is best advised to inform a doctor or guard and not to tell him your the reincarnation of the red queen or the jabberwocky he’ll take this just as seriously.

Asking any of the female prisoners for nudes may be asking for your phone to explode.

Telling Harley Quinn that vampires aren’t as good as werewolves will put you into a no exit lifelong debate.

Trying to flirt with any of the doctors and asking them if they want to start a 'mad love’ will mean that your doctors may have to be switched to the same gender as you and if you still persist then we will be forced to only use video connection to speak with you.

Asking Batman to bite you so you can join his legion of the undead is going to result in a neck brace.

Shouting to the Batmobile might end up with you being chucked under it.

If there is a break out it is advised to stay in your cell for your own safety and not to try to form teams of your favourite rogues.

Don’t think it’s funny calling Penguin happy feet or Mary Poppins.

Neither is calling officer Boyles Scarface.

Starting sleeve fights with your straight jacket is not their intended purpose.

Cash’s hook is not a kitchen utensil.

Although movies are permitted in recreational time there are some rules to when certain films can be shown as different inmates are effected by different things.

Neither of the Silent hill movies are allowed when Dr. Crane is present.
Silence of the lambs is not permitted when Waylon Jones is present.
Stephen King’s It isn’t allowed around Joker.

The Saw franchise isn’t allowed around Edward Nygma, he doesn’t need encouragement.

Tim Burton’s Alice in wonderland isn’t allowed when Jarvis Tetch is around, this should be common sense.

Most violence filled movies aren’t permitted around Zsasz, you don’t really need anything to trigger him.

If you find that Dr. Crane is taking a frequent interest in your personal fears and phobias you should immediately tell a guard or doctor and not tell him stupid made up fears and phobias as if he finds out that your lying he’ll make it his personal mission to make you frightened of your own lies.

It’s best to humour Joker when he asks if you want to know how he got his scars?.

Bragging about animal abuse is not only grounds for time being taken away from your recreational time but you may incur abuse from some of the animal loving inmates.

Instigating wheelchair races is not the purpose of the wheelchairs and is strictly prohibited.

Telling Jarvis that the ghost of Arkham is watching him sleep will earn you solitary confinement.

Writing riddles on the walls and then trying to blame Edward isn’t clever, because he will pick so many holes in your argument and ridicule you so savagely that your likely to end up developing a self inferiority complex.

Trying to steal Osito to sleep with at night isn’t going to end well. For anyone.

Please refrain from stealing medication as we regret to inform you that we believe some of them may have been tampered with, if you begin to laugh uncontrollably, start to feel that Jarvis is making sense or ten foot cockroaches are stampeding through the halls please tell a doctor or guard.

Asking two face to flip a coin for every mundane decision you make is eventually going to end up with your life being determined by a fifty fifty probability.

Telling Jarvis that the Grudge is looking for him is again not acceptable.

There are some patients that suffer from insomnia and stress induced sleep deprivation, if said patients happen to fall asleep then leave them alone it isn’t your place to be as loud as you possibly can to try and wake them up, it’s not just really annoying but it could result in them taking it out on the first person to wake them up, so just make sure it’s not you.

We would appreciate it if everyone who frequents the gym to stop trying to get Bane and Waylon to lift increasingly heavy weights, it always ends in competitions turning into fights.

Male inmates who try to sneak into the female showers please keep in mind that the last time this happened his remains was recovered from the drainage system.

And in relation any female inmates who try to sneak into the male showers…are actually non existent, seriously no one wants to go in there. O_O

Please check your personal toiletries before using them, apparently Joker and Harley has an ongoing bet to see which one of them can dye the most people’s hair.

Trying to play whack a mole on the other patient with Harley’s hammer is strictly prohibited.

Please refrain from laughing at Riddler’s green hair, it is being resolved. :?

The rumours aren’t true there isn’t going to be a 'trick or treating crazies field trip’ please try to remember your here for your own rehabilitation.

Hair dryers are very welcome but trying to thaw out Mr. Freeze with them is not.

Please remember that giving medication forms into the doctors that have been signed by either Harleen Quinzel, Jonathan Crane or Hugo Strange are not valid they are patients their selves, there are reasons to why they can no longer practice.

Trying to show Jarvis Alice madness returns the game is strongly discouraged.

please do not touch Nightmare or Craw.

No, you can not have your straight jackets in sparkly pink.

Upon apprehension some patients may have their own personal work on their person, trying to plagiarise or copy their life’s work is going to end up you experiencing the product of their work firsthand.

Please use the doors and not make new exits.

Your sinking to a new level if you ask Mr. Freeze 'is your wife giving you the cold shoulder?’.

Deprive people of caffeine at your own risk.

Music Meister will not sing for you, why would you even want him to?

Killer moth isn’t going to follow laser pointers, he only dresses like a moth.

Touch Harley’s J necklace at your own cost.

The spinach in the canteen is not part kryptonite, and if your stupid enough to try and throw it at superman as a deterrent then on your head be it.

Detective J'onn johnz is not an alien.

No, Vicky vale doesn’t want an exclusive interview with you.

Jack Ryder might have published a paper on his triumph over Floyd Lawton but Deadshot says otherwise.

No you can’t phone Amanda Weller with your phone privileges and ask her to 'sign me up for the suicide squad!“.

Robin doesn’t have to sign in as a minor, stop insisting he does.

Bruce Wayne will not adopt you.

Music Meister will not serenade you, he might perforate your eardrums but he won’t serenade you.

Joker really doesn’t like cream pies in the face, who knew?

No you can’t use Zsasz as a living tally chart board when your playing pool, he might return the favour.

Deathstroke will not teach you some 'really cool Army shit!’ He could possibly demonstrate some 'really cool Army shit!’ On you but he won’t teach you.

The last person to sing Miley Cyrus’s wreaking ball actually ended up squashed by one, I have no idea how they pulled it off but they did, really creatively too.

Yes security levels at Wal-Mart are better, we all know.

Ichobod is not Jonathan’s real name.

Green arrow isn’t looking for maid Marian.

And no he’s not from the legend of Zelda either.

It’s quite easy to swipe Boles’s burbon. Just don’t tell him I told you.

Trying to lift Catwoman up like the lion king isn’t going to work.

Oswald isn’t pingu.

No you can’t redecorate your cell, it’s not meant to be homely.

Bribing the staff isn’t advised but we all know you could probably get away with it.

Batman isn’t into BDSM.

Ra’s al ghul isn’t going to die if you throw salt at him, you might though.

please be kind, I know it’s not the best written piece in the world. I’m resitting my English and maths and trying to improve by writing the subjects I like.