mrs cow

The Things We Give Welsh Learners: y Babi Sinsir

So I was going through our bookshelf yesterday, because we’re fast approaching the point where we need a clear-out, and I came across one of my all-time favourite creations ever, probably even beating shit like the wheel and penicillin. Years back, before leaving The Man to pursue his dreams of being a sort of professional clown-thing, my husband used to be a translator for Neath Port Talbot Council; as is often the way with Welsh councils, though, owing to a lack of money and also everywhere is really close to each other (this country is 150 miles wide at its widest point, and about 47 miles at the thin bit. Ver ver small), NPT Council’s translating department was shared by Swansea Council. Thus it was that, in the halcyon days of circa 2009, the two decided to team up and produce a new Welsh language book for learners between them, and thus it got sent through to Steffan to proof read it.

A Thing You May Not Know: Welsh is one of ten indigenous languages to Britain, arguably the oldest, and has been viciously oppressed over the last millennium and a half as part of England’s big If You Destroy Their Culture They’ll Be Glad To Be Ruled By You policy. These days, it’s nonetheless still spoken by approximately a fifth of the Welsh population; a hell of a feat, considering, but the suppression of it continues to this day (just in cleverer, sneakier ways now than whipping people’s children if they’re heard.) But it is classified as Endangered. Thanks to Welsh-language schools now being a thing (though supply is much lower than demand), transmission rates to the younger generation are pretty good; but, Welsh is peculiarly dependent on adult learners.

This means that learner books might have to appeal to both children and adults while using very simple language, which I explain in case it in some way justifies the bewildering weirdness of what I’m about to show you; because at first glance, this book is simply for children. But it’s… Well. 

Well.

I present to you, with translations in bold and commentary by me, Y Babi Sinsir.

Literally, “the Ginger Baby”, but they mean ‘ginger’ as in ‘gingerbread’. Literal ginger. Not the colour.

This is Mr Jones. This is Mrs Jones.

What’s wrong, Mrs Jones? I want a baby.

Note: there will be some confusion in this book about whether the narrator is speaking, or anyone else. It might seem cut and dried here, but there are no speech marks around “Dw i eisiau babi”, whereas later speech marks are used, and also in two pages’ time the narrator will actively pass a value judgement using first person, so… Well.

But, so far so good.

Mrs Jones is making a Babi Sinsir.

… okay, so I like this page because of the capitalisation of Babi Sinsir and the lack of definite article. She’s just making a Babi Sinsir. You know, a Babi Sinsir? Magical baby made of gingerbread that you make if you can’t conceive but can’t afford IVF? Yeah. A Babi Sinsir. That’s right.

Let it be known that this is Not A Thing in Welsh folklore or mythology. What the fuck. How does this work. Where does the magic come from? Do you need a faerie ingredient? Will the next page tell us?

This is the Babi Sinsir. I like the Babi Sinsir.

Nope.

But it is apparently shit-capable and needs a nappy. It’s good that the narrator likes it anyway.

The Babi Sinsir is bad. He’s running.

Uh oh.

“Come back, Babi Sinsir.”

Look how Worried the Joneses are. Funny how they don’t seem to be calling that enthusiastically, though. I’d have expected an exclamation mark at least. Did Mrs Jones always have a massive left arm? I can’t remember.

“Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yeah, okay, so that’s the Welsh for “Run! Run! As fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m the gingerbread man!”, but once again, I’m going to have to draw attention to the lack of expressive punctuation here. It really feels like this naughty Babi Sinsir’s heart is just not in this.

“Come and help, Mr Horse.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Cool, look, a floating horse has come to help.

The pen there, incidentally, was an attempt by the translators to work out who was talking. I can’t imagine why. This dialogue is on fire, everyone can tell.

“Come and help, Mrs Cow.” “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Now they have been joined in their high-speed zombie shuffle by a married floating cow who is, if I’m not much mistaken, high as shit.

“Come and help, Mr Goat.”  “Run, run, catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

I’m starting to suspect the artist only knew how to draw the legs on animals in one way.

“Come and help, Mr Dog.”  “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

Yes, that dog is definitely here to ‘help’. Also… the Babi Sinsir is literally within reach of Mrs Jones’ massive left arm now. Why is she not just picking him up?

“Come and help, Miss Cat.” “Run, run, Catch me. I’m the Babi Sinsir.”

You may be wondering at this point if this is just… the whole book. An ever-increasing flock of floating zombie creatures shuffling after a naughty gingerbread baby in a nappy who is committing the cardinal sin of running. I mean… where can they go from here, amirite? A sheep? A squirrel? A chicken? We can hit a hundred pages this way, easy. The concern is the artist, whom I think was stretched a bit beyond their means on this project anyway.

BUT WORRY NOT! Shit’s about to go down, guys.

Oh no! Here comes Mr Wolf. Mr Wolf runs and catches the Babi Sinsir.

THAT IS A FOX

THAT IS A GODDAMN FOX YOU HEATHEN FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK

AND WHY THE FUCK IS IT WEARING CLOTHES WHEN NONE OF THE OTHER ANIMALS WERE

WHY IS IT DRESSED IN DUNGAREES LIKE A LAZY FARMHAND ON AN AMERICAN RANCH IN THE 1800S

This doesn’t bode well for the -

Half of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHAT THE

Quarter of the Babi Sinsir is left.

WHY DOES IT STILL LOOK SAD AND HORRIFIED WHY IS IT STILL ALIVE OH MY GOD

The Babi Sinsir has gone! There’s tasty.

What the

Wha

It

I realise this is not the main point to make here, but two pages ago it had eaten half of that nappy, and now it’s whole again and delicately discarded to one side, I just want

I mean

It’s okay, right? This happens in fairytales? Little Red Riding Hood? Someone will eviscerate the fox and out will come the Babi Sinsir…’s pieces, and they can be baked back together…?

No one cares!

Mrs Jones is making another Babi Sinsir.

The new Babi Sinsir loves Mrs Jones.

… 

…okay, so there’s a lot for us all to take in right now, and we’re all going to get through it at different speeds. But I’m just going to draw attention to the fact that Mr Jones is now merely depicted as a picture on the wall, and the new Babi Sinsir apparently only loves Mrs Jones, and…

Okay so they just lost their beloved baby gingerbread son because he got eaten alive by a fox in dungarees calling itself a wolf, right? Mrs Jones apparently couldn’t give less of a fuck if she tried, as long as she has some flour and ginger left over to make another. This one she made to love her.

Mr Jones, I presume, had a total mental breakdown and drank himself to death. At the very least, he’s left her, look. All she has left is the photo.

But does dim ots! Mae’r Babi Sinsir newydd yn caru Mrs Jones.

And that is the story of Y Babi Sinsir, aka the greatest work of literature ever written.

4

OK OK OK, BUT HEAR ME OUT

I know beauty and the best is old news for you guys but it just came out a few days ago here in Japan so PLEASE CONSIDER: Voltron AU where Lance is Belle, Keith is Beast, and Lotor is Gaston. I feel like Pidge would have to be Chip lol and Lefou would maybe be Varkon???? Coran for Lumiere, Hunk for Cogsworth. Allura for Mrs. Potts, mall cow as the horse, Hagar as the enchantress… what’s left for Shiro? The dad? The wardrobe?? Lol. He’d be cute as the priest who likes to read. Or he could just be like… all the villagers lol. All of them. 

…BEAUTY AND THE KEITH LOL

SONG LYRICS:

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Cartoon Cartoons Fridays by ssgba380
CN has gotten so bad, I stared downloading and watching all their old shows, commercials and bumpers from a decade ago. They put so much effort, fun and creativity into building the CN world, including the commercial breaks, having us and their shows interact with each other (personal favorite era was CN City!) We’ll always have the memories of classics…😉

Rescue Me by Bradypop

Lexa’s job as a small town deputy didn’t come with a lot of excitement or intrigue. Between wrangling up Mr. Bennett’s cows on the regular and getting the high school seniors to stop trespassing on the water tower, Lexa was helplessly bored. That was until an alleged domestic abuse case fell on her desk and suddenly Lexa was going out of her way to save Clarke and her daughter before it was too late.

Protective af cop!Lexa AU with mother!Clarke and asshole!Finn


Incredible commission by Turtleduckie. Check out more art and commissions by this talented artist here.

**please do not remove text from the post on reblog and please do not repost artwork without proper credit, thank you**
Apricity

Noun

(a-pris-i-tee)

1. the warmth of the sun in winter.

Origin:
From Latin apricari (to bask in the sun). Earliest documented use: 1623.

“As he stood in the sunshine, apricity began to cover him like a wool sweater.”
- Ryan Patrick Sullivan, Mrs. O’Leary’s Cow

anonymous asked:

I read your cow!Hanzo and bull!Jesse it was some good 👌👌, thank you for giving me this beautiful thought plus it got me thinking about this post about how this cow gave birth to 4 calf's and its considered 1 in million like 👀👀👀👀 what if that happened to Hanzo 😂😂😂

He’d debated the wisdom of leaving the young bull in with Hanzo- usual practice was to board all the pregnant cows together for company, away from the bulls. But Hanzo was… Difficult. He did not get along with any of the other cows- even Ana’s calm, generous nature was strained around him. The idea of putting Hanzo with the dominant bull’s herd was suicide- no matter how easygoing Reinhardt was, fact was that Hanzo was carrying another bull’s calf.

But Jesse… Maybe it was just the calf he was carrying, but Hanzo got along with Jesse, even after they had bred. Gabe could even go as far as saying that maybe Hanzo actually liked Jesse. Maybe Jesse had been a little intimidated by such a renowned cow at first, but they had grown into an affectionate pair. He let Jesse out in the afternoon, to run off his excess energy with the other young bulls, and then brought him back into the secured barn to keep Hanzo company the rest of the time- like he was right now.

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Well that was.. abnormally fast. Turns out I had downloaded some shorter semester mod in fucking August and then forgotten all about it! Why would I download such an unholy concoction in the first place is beyond me. It’s back in hell where it belongs now so we’re getting the full college experience going forward but ugh, upsetting nonetheless..

I mean is there enough time in the world to enjoy this crazy bitch that was slapping Gunther yesterday (for ‘cheating on her’ even though they’re not even friends) heartfart over him now? Girl what is wrong with you.

-I’M A WORK IN PROGRESS OK

Aren’t we all.

-NOT I. I’M ABSOLUTELY PERFECT THE WAY I AM, EVERYONE IN CAMPUS IS LUSTING AFTER ME AND I HAVE THE HEIR VOTE IN THE BAG

You also keep washing dishes that aren’t your own.

-A girl sees you voluntarily cleaning up, she starts to wonder what else you could offer without her asking ;)

Ew yea that’s definitely not a thing.

-IT’S A THING

YEA OK IT’S A THING. NOTHING SEXIER THAN ROTTING FOOD AND OTHER PEOPLE’S SALIVA

-Ah there you are <3 I saw you washing worm covered dishes earlier, you have to keep that for my eyes only baby <3

GODDAMMIT BLUE MEATBALLS WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SHITTING ALL OVER MY POINTS

UM OK JOIN US WHY DON’T YOU

LOL looks like you got yourself a girlfriend, Gunther! Congrats, didn’t think you had it in you.

-Help. me.

No can do baby. And I actually mean that, I wouldn’t know how to break you two up even if I wanted to. I mean you slept with someone else in the middle of your date and she stood there smiling, there’s obviously no stopping this crazy train. See you at the wedding!  

Meanwhile Daniel is making a very important call that I’m sure is gonna fail.. but you never know if you don’t try..

OMG SHE SAID YES. STEP INTO OUR HAMMER-&-SICKLE-SHAPED-WEB BRITTANY. 

LMAO see you never, nerds.

-Ooooh a love letter for me from a secret admirer <3

Yea that’s obviously for Gunther from a very special lady. I legit don’t remember which one but PUT THAT DOWN BRITTANY IS COMING, she’s gonna think you’re some kind of player. 

-Well 2 minutes of conversation are gonna take care of that misconception.

Yea you can say that again.

UUUUUUGH this can’t NOT work they’re perfect for each other I know it!!! COME ON BRIT DON’T LET ME DOWN

-FOR THE LAST TIME DANIEL, PRETTY WOMAN IS NOT ABOUT THE LUMPENPROLETARIAT 

-UGH you could not be more wrong, comrade Brit Brit, but bourgeois college apathy has obviously crushed whatever critical thinking skills managed to survive the sorority confirmation process.

Good god. Ok that’s enough, time to see what we’re really dealing with here. GET UP.

THAT’S BETTER. HOPE THOSE HEARTS AREN’T FOR THE BIRD

FUCKING BYE I KNEW IT. I KNEW THEY WERE MEANT TO BE. I mean both popularity and both suck ass at it + polar opposites at everything else?? Romeo and Juliet who.

Marvin Gaye - Let’s get it on.mp3

Interrupting our wonderful time is the cow harassing the girl Gunther woohooed in the middle of his date with Meatballs. I love college <3

Time to move this party to the bedroom! Just us, Brit, and our new best friend. Judging from the positions in the above photo, Daniel’s first sexual experience isn’t going to be a conventional one.

Aw come on Brit, don’t be like that, there’s plenty of Dan to go around!

Ok now you’re just making Mr Cow sad. Stop excluding him!!

UGH he left, hope you pillowchested assholes are happy with yourselves.

That’s right, get them, crazy secret society blonde!

-HEY I’M TRYING TO SLEEP HERE YOU DICKS

-WELL CLOSE YOUR FUCKING DOOR GIRL, GAWD

-NO, I’M TRYING TO SLEEP *HERE*. GET OUT OF THE BED

Hope you enjoyed the view, blondie!

The love juices have yet to dry as Wyatt rushes to occupy the bed. I feel the need to remind readers THAT DORMIES HAVE THEIR OWN BEDS. You literally wouldn’t know from looking at my game.

Case in fucking point, immediately after Wyatt awakens, another one of Jojo’s semi-lovers helps himself to our communal bed. Remember Ti-Ning? He’s stinking under the covers and as I suspected, Jojo ‘hates him’ aka is secretly into him. Good to see the Blue Meatballs stalking method gaining more fans!

WELL WELL WELL look who moved in. After Gunther ‘cheated’ on the redhead lunatic sis, the responsibility of getting us into the secret society has fallen squarely on Jojo’s frail shoulders. 

-HEY

SORRY, on Jojo’s buff, well-defined shoulders. 

-Thank you.

You keep your eye on the prize, right?

-Of course. Every step she takes, every breath she takes-

-So as I was saying, it’s an absolute disgrace that there isn’t A SINGLE flat earth class in this college. Of course we all know who’s responsible.. Starts with -I, ends with -lluminati..

-Yea, I’m out.

NO YOU DON’T. Must I remind you what’s at stake here??

-Must I remind you I don’t care about resurrecting that stupid cat? I mean if it was Victor, we’d be having a different conversation.

Ugh fucking Victor istg. But NO, I’m talking about finally getting what your tiny, murderous heart has been craving all those years.. THE COWPLANT. Just think about it, Jojo..

-Oh god, the power, the unlimited power.. Fucking Ti-Ning is first on my list.

Yea we all know you want to fuck Ti-Ning but I don’t think you have to threaten him with a cowplant, he’d probably say yes if you asked him out-

-I MEAN FIRST ON MY KILL LIST STFU

-You know what repulses me, dear Jojό? Musique classique, is absolutely the worst, no? I mean who likes it apart from bores and killers seriàl? 

-Oh yea, you’re so right, Ti-Ning WYATT.

God Jojo are you so committed to this charade of denial that you’re gonna date someone who hates creepy classical music? What’s next? Does he hate bow-ties and oedipal complexes too?

-’Scuse me, my.. girlfriend.. is waiting for me.. When did life get so unfun :(

-Oui, I think it’s imperative that you sever all relationships with anyone wearing plaid pantalons, Jojό.. Très unseemly..

-Oh my <3

Well this stamp of approval is the fucking deathblow, JOJO GET OUT NOW. TI-NING’S DOOR IS RIGHT THERE

-NEVER. IN FACT..

-My god, Wyatt, your manipulative criticism of my interests and family is attractive to say the least! 

NOP I don’t accept this, even you can’t keep this bullshit up!

-WATCH ME. I’M GOING TO BUY A RING TOMORROW. ONE MADE OF CHEESE SINCE HE’S FRENCH

</3

Speaking of ‘</3′ looks like Meatballs hired a sniper to hit Gunther with the arrow of love. I extremely have other plans for him so this is obviously not happening but NICE TRY MEATBALLS

………..OMG. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM, YOU BROKE HIM

-HA. Watch and learn bitch, first I let him be his gross whoring self.. and now that I have him.. the era of Blue Meatballs.. BEGINS.

WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING COWPLANT

Rescue Me by Bradypop

Lexa’s job as a small town deputy didn’t come with a lot of excitement or intrigue. Between wrangling up Mr. Bennett’s cows on the regular and getting the high school seniors to stop trespassing on the water tower, Lexa was helplessly bored. That was until an alleged domestic abuse case fell on her desk and suddenly Lexa was going out of her way to save Clarke and her daughter before it was too late.

anonymous asked:

if u ever feel like it, some more cow!hanzo and bull!jesse would be awesome!

I got you anon, I am always up for bull!jesse and cow!hanzo.

The next time Jesse sees him is six months later, after the initial successful insemination. He and Gabe are visiting to Japan to show him off to some of Hanamura’s affiliate farms, hoping to sire some high-quality calves. They have a few parties buying Jesse’s services, stored on liquid nitrogen on the gamble that this stud will make it big. He’s even got to do a few live covers, but Jesse can’t get Mr. Shimada’s prized cow out of his mind.

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