finishes his assigned work in time or earlier. your boss loves him because his mental capacity is A++++. gets promoted every month
the quiet officemate. he does his work efficiently, but is not promoted yet...
mr. congeniality. maintained his position in the office for almost ten years. didn't get promoted yet. looks forward to his debut erhm i mean promotion
sprays febreze everywhere. has hand sanitizers on his desk. asks if you washed your hands when you hand him papers. also the boss's favorite bc he can do almost anything
someone you want to avoid. you don't want to be the subject of his comments bc he roasts others on a daily basis. he's been to almost everywhere. name a place, he's been there. spends his vacations on mountains
also someone you wanted to avoid, but you were too late. you never knew how he managed to get receipts on you, no matter how careful you were
very talkative. very loud. always talks but only Jaehyun listens to him. his opinions clash with Taeyong's. always bickering with Ten
also very loud. extra af. floods your inbox with emails, and most of them are his selfies. easily scared. screams when frightened. hates spiders
that officemate whom you got a crush on. a HUGE crush on. has a super handsome face and a super hot body(you can tell even if he's wearing a dress shirt). makes adult jokes. always munches on chips
your new officemate who is the center of everyone's attention, even though he does basically nothing. he is capable of doing the work that's assigned to him, yet someone always offers to help him(or rather, do all the work for him bc y'all are under his whoop whoop spell or smth). he knows his charms, and probably uses it to his advantage
Requested by jasparsguardianangel. Here’s a cuddly one for you. Not too good, I’m sorry, I was studying for midterms. :/
I hung my coat, kept my bag down and climbed up the stairs.
“Joe, I’m home!” I said. “ Where are you?”
He wasn’t anywhere to be found. I had just come from Tanya’s house, she wanted me to try some new shades of her glosses she was going to launch. Louise and Zoe were there too. As I looked all around the house, I couldn’t find Joe anywhere.
‘He must’ve gone out,’ I mused.
I went in the bathroom to change. I slipped into a shirt that belonged to Joe and a pair of cute PJs. Fit for a comfy day in. I washed my face free of majority of makeup, leaving only my eyeliner on. I then put on some lip balm and put my hair up in a loose ponytail.
As I stepped out, I was greeted with a wonderful kiss by my boyfriend.
“Oh, hello,” I smiled. “Where were you?”
“Hey, beautiful. I went out to pick some food up. I was planning on making something for you but… I failed. So, who doesn’t love Nando’s right?”
I giggled. “Did the smoke alarm go off?”
“Maybe… Maybe not.” He said with a sheepish smile.
“Oh Joe,” I laughed. “Did you at least clean up?”
“I did. But why are we even taking about cleaning up, when we could do so much more?” He wiggled his eyebrows.
“Stop, you goof, we are doing nothing of that sort,” I said, faking sternness.
“But but - ” He said pouting.
“Forget that, I distinctly remember you saying something about food?” I asked. “Cuz damn boi, am I hungry!” I said in a weird accent.
He laughed and shook his head. “Only you, (Y/N), only you.”
“… food?” I asked looking at him eagerly.
“Come on.” He said holding my hand and dragging me down.
~ 2 hours, some Nando’s, and a season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S later ~
We were rolling around in laughter. Why? We don’t even know. The things that we were laughing about probably wouldn’t make sense to anybody else.
“I KNOW! Ross as a mouse!” I shouted.
With this, we both fell into another bout of laughter. Tears down our cheeks, and I realized what love meant. It wasn’t just doing things for each other - just buying gifts and going on dates - it meant this.
This state of happiness.
I looked at him. “You make me very happy,” I blurted.
He stopped mid laughter, and gave me a heart stopping smile. “You make me very happy, too.”
As we both looked at each other, we leaned in for a kiss. And that’s when my phone rang.
“Oh, for god’s sake,” Joe exclaimed, rolling his eyes.
I giggled. “Oops. I’ll just pick up.”
As I got up to pick my phone, Joe held me by my waist. “Forget it.”
“Joe, it may be important.”
He pouted. “I know it isn’t. Please?”
“You know?” I smiled.
“Yes, I know. Because I’m the king of the world.”
I laughed. “Okay Joe. I swear if it’s not important, I’ll cut the phone.”
He let me go. “Go on then. I can’t stop you from your destiny. It is written by Fate,” he said dramatically.
I gave him a look. “You’re so weird.” I left.
It turned out it was my best friend from home who I had not talked to for 2 whole weeks (!) and that’s why I spent about an hour talking to her. Shit! I had told him I wouldn’t spend time of it wasn’t important.
I slowly walked back to the living room. He sat on the couch watching TV. Once he heard me, he turned around.
“Who died?” He said sarcastically.
“Soweeeee bubbyyyyyy,” I said with my signature puppy dog eyes.
“Don’t! Don’t give me that look or I’ll cave in,” he said holding his hand out.
“Ugh, fine. Come here.”
I skipped to the couch smiling happily.
As I sat on the couch and turned to look at him, I saw a very evil smirk on his face. I understood what he wanted to do.
“Joe…..” I slowly got up.
He got up too. Knowing if I wanted to escape, I’d have to run, I bolted up the stairs. I heard his heavy footsteps close behind me.
“AAAAAAAHHH. I SAID I’M SORRY JOE!” I screamed, running for my life.
“NOPE! IF YOU DON’T HOLD YOUR PROMISE YOU WILL BE ATTACKED BY THE TICKLE MONSTER. THERE IS NO ESCAPE!” he shouted back, relentlessly chasing.
Needless to say, he caught me five minutes later. And tickled and tickled and tickled.
“STOP PLEASE!” I said laughing crazily, flailing my arms and legs like a mad man.
“Not until you promise never to do it again!”
“YES, YES, I PROMISE!” I shouted. “PLEASE JOE!”
He stopped, that crazy smirk still on his face.
“I hate you,” I said.
He lifted his arms again.
“Sorry sorry sorry! I love you.”
He smiled. “I know you do.”
Soon after the tickle fight - or rather, tickle attack, considering, he was the only person who did it - we ended up on the couch watching Mrs. Congeniality. His arms around my waist and my head on his chest.
Mid movie, I felt hands on my back. Joe’s hands.
“Guess what I’m writing, beautiful.”
His hands traced a soft ‘I’ on my back, followed by an ‘A’, ’D’, ‘O’, 'R’, 'E’, 'Y’, 'O’ and a 'U’.
I smiled. 'I adore you,“ I said.
I looked back at him and he smiled. “Of course you do, I’m perfect.”
I laughed softly. “You’re such a doof, but I kind of like it.”
He placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “I kind of like you.”
In the warmth of his arms, I felt sleep approaching me. Contently, I snuggled even more into his arms. Life was perfect.
As I closed my eyes, I heard him say something.
Bomb threats are being sent to the newly made Mr. America pageant and FBI Agent Blaine Anderson has taken up the position of being an undercover agent to save the pageant. With some extreme grooming and guidance from his pageant consultant, Blaine infiltrates the world of Men’s pageants. Making some interesting friends, and maybe he even winning the heart of his slave driver pageant consultant, the gorgeous and fascinating, Kurt Hummel.
14 REASONS KUNG BAKIT HINDI MO PWEDENG MAGING FRIEND SI ‘EX’
Hindi ka lang naman pwedeng makipagkaibigan sa kupal mong ex kapag pasok ka sa apat na qualifications na ito:
Minahal mo to the nth power. Sagad. Sukdulan. Intense.
Niloko, binusabos, binalewala, pinagpalit at inagawan ng pizza lalo na sa mga panahong gutom na gutom ka.
Double padlock na nga tapon-susi pa sa ilog pero wala pa ring matinong closure.
Hindi pa nakakamove-on. Hindi pa nakakamove-on. Hindi pa nakakamove-on. Hindi pa nakakamove-on.
Kapag qualified ka sa apat na yan, good luck na lang sa pagiging Mr. and Ms. Congeniality. Sa’yo na ang sash!
We can still be friends” means, “Panis na yung sinaing, tara kainin natin!”
Hindi ka bibigyan ng matinong advice… lalo na kung single pa din siya tapos ikaw taken na. He/She’ll be like, “Alangang ikaw lang ang masaya di ba? Damay damay na ‘to!”
3.Unfair para sa present mo. Kung gusto mong maging tahimik ang present relationship mo, lumayo ka sa past mo.
4. Kapag nakita mo siyang kumakain ng ice-cream, maaalala mo lang yung mga panahong dinidilaan pa niya yung utong mo.
5. Kapag nag-away kayo ‘as friends’, daig niyo pa construction worker sa paghuhukay ng mga kasalanan ninyo kahit nung kayo pa.
6. Sinaktan ka na nga nung kayo pa, sa tingin mo hindi ka na niya ulit sasaktan kahit ngayong friends na lang kayo? #HindiKaPaBaNadadala
7. Ang pakikipagkaibigan kay Ex ang isang ultimate dynamic portal para matikman ka niya ulit sa mas karumaldumal na paraan. #MasTigangMasWild
Yung Ex mo hindi yan katulad ng X sa Agebra na meron pa ring mathematical value. Lalo na’t minsan na rin niyang binalewala yung totoong value mo. Remember?
9. Kapag nag-away kayo ng present jowa mo, sa kanya agad yung takbo mo with matching yakap at pisil pa sa maskels. Until you find each other making MOMOL. Yung tipong kung makalaplap ayaw ng bumitaw.
10. Kaya nga Ex ang tawag diyan, short for “walang Ex-tension”. Short for “mahilig umEx-sena”.
short for “EX-pired”.
Meaning, sakit sa brain cells lang.
11. Just so you know, marami pang letra sa alphabet, bakit dun pa ulit sa X mong sinaktan ka na nga? #SignsOfBeingAPatayGutom
12. Sapat na yung nabigyan mo siya dati ng napakaraming pagkakataon, bakit bibigyan mo na naman? Unless, forever hopia ka pa rin.
Yung ‘x’ sa math sinosolve at binabalikan dahil sayang ang score. Yung ex mo, hindi na dapat binabalikan at pinanghihinayangan kahit hanggang friends na lang. Kapag tapos na, tapos na. Kahit anong lebel pa yan.
14. Being friends with your Ex will not make you feel better after the break-up. Nasaktan ka na. Hindi na mababago yun.
Pero siyempre, kahit gaano ka pa sinaktan at ginago ng ex mo, dapat andun pa rin yung respeto… kahit pa-joke lang. Mas okay na yung kahit hindi kayo magkaibigan pero atleast hindi rin magkaaway. Tipong “just ordinary strangers with some memories.” ‘Coz there’s more to life than your ex-na-panget at higit sa lahat, yung natitira mong pride ang nakasalalay dito. Unless ikaw si Amor at gusto mong ipatikim sa kanya…. ANG BATAS…. NG ISANG API!!!!!!.
“I’m your RA and know that you never come in before 3 am AU”
OFFICE AU (c'mon, water cooler talks, John setting up a betting pool on how long it takes root and shaw to get together, root being shaw’s annoying cubical neighbor who constantly ask for help with things she knows how to do)
At age five her dad smacked her in the mouth for smarting off and called it love. Never mind the red mark in the shape of his hand spreading on her cheek like a bird’s wing spreading across the sky – it was love, pure and simple. Just love.
At age twelve she got tangled up with a sixteen year old from the high school up the street, a sixteen year old who wore leather jackets in the constant heat of summer and smoked cigarettes in front of the convenience store and wore sunglasses inside. When he was taking off her blouse in the backseat of his car late Saturday night he called it love; even as she opened the car door, tears flying down her face, and ran into the night, he yelled after her that it was love. Just love.
At sixteen she cautiously let herself fall for an eighteen year old, the captain of the varisty football team, Mr. Congeniality. When he won games, it was great; when he lost games he’d yell and hit and break and then leave, and she would be left on the floor, picking up the broken pieces and looking at the bruises in the bathroom mirror and telling herself to let him hit her one more time, it was all for love – just love.
At eighteen she met a boy in her Anatomy class – he was quiet, mild-mannered, with light in his eyes, but by then she had been trained to look for the darkness hiding beneath it and wasn’t going to give him one chance in a thousand. She told herself this over and over again until the first time they kissed; she jerked away and he put his forehead against hers and said ‘What are you afraid of? It’s just love.’
‘That’s what I’m afraid of,’ she whispered. ‘Love. Just love.’ Because love was pain and suffering and it was all in the little things – the twinge in your heart when you know it’s not right, the bruising as his class ring hits your cheekbone, the frostbite his fingers give you as they go where they don’t belong. Just love meant just pain. Plain and simple.
But little by little, slowly but surely, he redefined love.
They’d be sitting by the fire under a blanket, his hands would stay right where they were supposed to, they’d be laughing, and she would think, This is love.
They’d be at the beach, she’d be in her bikini, and although every other eye on the beach was on her curves, his eyes would focus on her smile and her eyes and the freckles sprinkled across her nose, and she would think, This is love.
She’d be shuddering in bed at night, trembling with the exertion of breaking free from the past, and he’d curl his arms around her and murmur in her ear until she was asleep, and the last thought she’d have before dropping off would be, This is love.
She’d wake up to a fresh cup of coffee steaming, waiting for her on the stove. This is love.
She’d find notes in the randomest places, at the randomest times. This is love.
He’d give her roses because he wanted to see her smile. This is love.
He stuck the ring on her finger and said ‘This is love.’
She smiled. ‘Yes. Just love.’