Red Dawn review.

by Josiah Muskrat on Wednesday, 30 January 2013 at 17:27 

The sad truth is that Red Dawn is a perfect example of a great story being all but ruined from Hollywood expectations and compressed run-time.

An extremely engaging concept, decent script, and cliche, but acceptable character models were all thrown into a trash compactor with a bucket of nondescript fight scenes, and squeezed together into a 90 minute film that easily could have filled (and needed) at least two and a half hours.

The film making itself was good, nothing exceptional about the technical elements, such as cinematography, effects, or sound, but nothing poor, either.

The cast was excellent, full of good actors and actresses who should have been allowed to show their talents in full, when instead all their emotional scenes were cut way short, and all their fight scenes left a lot to be desired in establishing this rag-tag team as the total badasses they were being sold as.

All of the espionage was far too easy, and the overall plot was way, way too scattered, as an emphasis on their guerrilla tactics led to an eventual disregard for all conventional means of time-telling. I’m still unsure if this entire film took place in the space of days, months, or years. (Whatever the case I am impressed at their Aaragorn-esk ability to maintain either shaved or perfectly, sexily stubbled facial hair.)

The Villain (whose inclusion and *SPOILER* cliche killing of the main protaganists’ father *END SPOILER* served really no purpose but to attempt (notice, ATTEMPT) to increase the emotional investment of the characters and audience, and to give a face to hate amonst the throngs of evil Koreans) wasn’t allowed any screen time or dialogue to develope. I could actually see the tabs still stuck to his arms from where they had pulled him out of the package from the “buy your own Evil Camando General” store.

Every single element of the movie that COULD have been good was dulled, if not destroyed by the compressed run-time and tongue-in-cheek patriotism of it all. This beautiful story about human endurance  the value of freedom, and the beauty of love, in the end was about as potent as a careless male x-ray operator.

Potential: 9/10

Reality:  4/10

Score: -5

Just finished Mockingjay.

Many of you may know that the ending sucks.

What most of you probably don’t know is that I am actually an extremely talented writer.

I know I don’t have a lot of followers, but I’m doing this on my Facebook pages as well.

if this gets 50 notes I will write an alternate ending to Mockingjay starting on page 348

Robo Cop Review

The new 2014 reboot of RoboCop is an exactly perfect example of median film making. Nothing about the film stands out in either an especially good or especially bad way.

I will admit I have never seen the original ‘80s verstion of RoboCop and therefore my review will be entirely around the reboot as a film and not about how it compares to the original.

The film is entertaining, and enjoyable enough to watch, but definitely brings nothing new to the screen, either.

An especially strong and engaging opening scene, featuring Samuel F**king Jackson himself, perfectly sets up the premise of the rest of the film, but quickly gives way to the over-the-top performance of Joel Kinnaman, AKA Alex Murphy/RoboCop. Kinnaman’s performance in this film is definitely the one targetable weakness of the experience. Surrounded by brilliant performers like Gary Oldman and Jackie Earle Haley, he comes off as flat, boring, and entirely unengaging. I couldn’t care less about his struggle during this film. The only really interesting character arch is that of Dr. Dennett Norton (Played by the especially brilliant Gary Oldman.) This man is faced with a lot of moral abiquity in the film, trying to decide between the purity of his research, and creating something he does not quite believe in in order to give that research real scope.

The action is extremely fun, and the cinematography of these scenes ranges right at the level of most successful action movies of the day. Jackie Earle Haley’s character is a very good antagonist, and drives the action scenes with quips, anger, and even a surprising level of sincerity. He really believes in his robots.

Michael Keaton’s character is so formulaic a “corrupt C.E.O.” of the genre he’s not even worth mentioning. That being said, Keaton did a good job with the role.

Overall the film had very little heart, but delivered well in action, fun, and general entertainment. The robots were cool, the weapons were cool, and RoboCop himself was fairly decent, although the film spent too much time on him with the visor up, and frankly, he just looked stupid.

Expectations: 6/10
Reality: 6/10
Score: 0

Now You See Me review

29 August 2013 at 07:12

Managing to stay away from the established expectations of other magician movies, and deliver something new, exciting, and fresh to the screen, Now You See Me was a brilliantly executed heist film.

Those who go into it demanding a reality warping bender in the vein of The Prestige will most definitely be disappointed, but anyone who allows it to be what it is, is in for a treat.

Exceptionally concieved, acted, shot, and executed, it delivered in all possible avenues of production. Exciting, engaging, and full of exceptional actor and character interaction. (Worth mentioning that Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson together are absolutely glorious, and fans of Zombieland should go see this if for no other reason than that it is the closest thing we will ever get to a sequel.)

It’s impossible to go too deeply into the film without spoilers, so I will merely say that it is a fast-paced, intelligent heist movie, managing to feature an entire cast of characters who are essentially villains, yet still so likeable you find yourself rooting for them all.

The ending was a bit weak, in one aspect in particular, but nothing bad enough to ruin the film. And there were a few things left unasked and unanswered that ought to have been, but these are easily forgivable given the theatric and magical nature of the film’s backdrop.

Absolutely worth seeing, although potentially with little rewatch value, Now You See Me is everything it promised to be from the very first trailer; fast, fun, exciting, and brilliant.

Expectations: 7/10

Reality: 8.9/10

Score: 1.9


I am finally biting the bullet and posting this spoken word I have been promising.

My original piece, I Want to Have a Couch With You.


My first video blog.