Because I was Tagged

1. Describe your prefect sanctuary- the place you could go to get away from it all.

My backyard at my old house, I had 60 banana trees in my backyard and it was like a tropical paradise…I miss that. 

2. I’m cooking you breakfast, what’ll it be?

In bed…Oh what for breakfast 8) I’d like pancakes, bacon and coffee please.

3. Pick 4 tumblrs to be your back-up in a dark alley. Who and why?

@thefyrechief because he knows how to get out of any situation. @misterbillforreal because he’s my wingman and it’s his job. @titsandsass Because she’s hot and would look great backing me up. Last @littlerunnergurl cause no one would fuck with me if she was my back up, she even scares me 8)

4. What’s your opinion on politically correct language?

Hmmm there is a time and place for it. I’m all for telling someone to “fuck off" 

5. You can attend any musical performance in history- which one?

Well I have actually seen all the bands I want to see and I loved every concert…The one thing I haven’t done yet is SXSW in Austin.

6. Reality TV- are you a fan? Why or why not?

Not a fan, hate it. It’s just not entertaining to me.

7. Harry Potter, Twilight, Hunger Games, Lemony Snicket- have you read any of them? What did you think?

I’ve read the Hunger games and loved it, going to read the other two books soon. As for the other books see reality TV answer.

8. You can have power or fame. Which one do you choose and why?

Hmmm I guess I would take power, with power you can make good things happen and be respected…Bill Gates has power. 

9. Describe your “perfect day”.

Any day with Reece is a perfect day. But as for a fantasy perfect day would be waking up in a hut on a beach, listening to the waves with the woman I loved beside me. Just relaxing with her all day would be perfect.

10. Why do you think people follow you on tumblr?

I think because I add some silliness to their day and maybe a laugh.

11. What’s one of your favorite quotes, mantras, or sayings?

"Breath out so I can breath you in” Foo Fighters I think it’s one of the most romantic things I have ever heard. 

One more Truthful Tuesday post

And now I’m actually thinking a little deeper.  I was going to keep it simple. I was going to say something along the lines of this:

I don’t like to cook.  I just really like to eat, and sometimes you have to cook in order to eat what you want.

Then I started pondering my earlier TT post in which I claimed that I hated to write.  And a couple of the responses that I got.

mrbillforeal replied to your postTruthful Tuesday

I find it extremely odd that somebody that ‘hates’ to write is on Tumblr. You are an odd bird Beka. I mean that as a compliment. Didn’t come out that way, did it? I’ll let myself out…

You’ve got a point, Bill.  Why am I doing it if I hate it so much?

quiyst replied to your postTruthful Tuesday

I’d say “it’s a cult,” but…well…you know.

And I’d say that quiyst has accidentally hit the nail on the head.  I know that he was joking about tumblr being a cult.  And, sure it’s got its addictive side.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I spend a lot of time in conflict.  

I grew up thinking that self was evil and something to be denied.  If I wanted something, then it must inherently be bad.  I also was not supposed to have an opinion–to such an extent that I tried to chase down every non-Godly thought that entered my head and repent for it.

This brainwashing from my earliest childhood left me unable to know my own mind.  Sure, I can express a liking for cheese, but I can’t pursue a career wholeheartedly, stand up to my husband in an argument or even face down my kids without enormous strain.

I thought all my life that I was shy and introverted, but in my 40s, after I found out about the cult and started admitting the truth to myself and others, I also started being friendly and outgoing.  I now feel like an extrovert, and I may have actually been one all along if I hadn’t been raised as I was.

So much of my childhood was made up of guilt, wishful thinking, and cognitive dissonance that I don’t know how to excavate the truth.  Even now I don’t know.  Maybe I loved writing all along but felt that it would be evil to do something that meant so much to me.

Maybe I like to cook but it is hard for me to justify going to the grocery store and buying the ingredients for a recipe just because I want it.

This is raw and new. Just an unfinished thought. Thank you for letting me work through it without expecting it to be perfect.


Aqua - Barbie Girl (by AquaVEVO)

For my wingman #mrbillforreal

mrbillforeal replied to your photo: Quick, courteous, cheap plumber was on time this…

I’m an expert lip reader: “Why are you taking a picture of me, lady? Tumblr? What the fuck is a Tumblr? No, I will not take my shirt off.” - Scale of 1-10, how close am I?

 I think they are so trained to be courteous (It’s actually in the company name) that he couldn’t turn me down.  But you scored 9 out of 10 on the first part.

Damn! I should have asked him to take his shirt… Never mind.  2 out of 10 on the last section. No cougar here. My man is full grown. :)