SUPPORT MALE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

“ An abusive wife or partner may hit, kick, bite, punch, spit, throw things, or destroy your possessions. To make up for any difference in strength, she may attack you while you’re asleep or otherwise catch you by surprise. She may also use a weapon, such as a gun or knife, or strike you with an object, abuse or threaten your children, or harm your pets.

Of course, domestic abuse is not limited to violence. Your spouse or partner may also:
Verbally abuse you, belittle you, or humiliate you in front of friends, colleagues, or family, or on social media sites.
Be possessive, act jealous, or harass you with accusations of being unfaithful.
Take away your car keys or medications, try to control where you go and who you see.
Try to control how you spend money or deliberately default on joint financial obligations.
Make false allegations about you to your friends, employer, or the police, or find other ways to manipulate and isolate you.
Threaten to leave you and prevent you from seeing your kids if you report the abuse.”

U.S. and Canada: 1-888-7HELPLINE (1-888-743-5754) The Domestic Abuse Helpline

UK: 01823 334244 – ManKind Initiative

Australia: One in Three Campaign offers a number of crisis hotlines

Source: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-abused-men.htm

Please circulate these numbers. These helplines may be the only support these men have.

A Message to Those on the Fence About Men’s Rights

So, you’ve heard about men’s rights activism. You are curious to know more. How could such a maligned movement possibly be valid? You stumble upon A Voice For Men. You see outrageous headlines. They confirm your fears that the movement is full of misogynists. You laugh for a while. We’ve all been there. The activists seem bitter and angry. They say some very inappropriate things.

The question in your mind is this: Why do people get drawn into this movement? I was one of those people drawn in, and I’ve stayed. So I know the answer.

We all know how bad women have it. We’ve read about all the rapes. We’ve read about how women are questioned and disbelieved when reporting rape. We’ve read about the single women struggling to raise children with an absentee father failing to pay his child support. We’ve read about FGM. We’ve read about domestic violence. We’ve heard about the sexualization of women in the media. We are, quite frankly, disgusted with the behavior of men.

Maybe you accept that men can have it hard in some ways. But that doesn’t invalidate feminism, surely? OK so men might have it hard sometimes, but you wouldn’t go as far as saying they need a movement, right? You wouldn’t be that extremist, right?

Right?

The following are areas of men’s rights activism, and how they relate to extremism. This list is by NO means complete!

1. Domestic violence

We know women are victims of domestic violence. So why deny it? The thing is, men’s right’s activists don’t deny it. We say that domestic violence is 50% by men, 50% by women. This statistic comes from 300 different studies, as shown in the Fiebert Bibliography. (1) MRA’s belief that both genders are victims is shown on whiteribbon.org.

In other words, MRAs believe the problem isn’t any gender’s fault. Which position is more extremist? Saying that just one group of people is responsible for everything bad, or sharing the blame equally?

2. Genital mutilation

We all know that women are the victims of FGM. Why do men’s rights activists have to derail the conversation? Why distract us with male circumcision issues all the time? The thing is, cutting off the foreskin is the same as FGM type 1, which also removes outer skin. In some circumcisions, the frenulum is removed. This is the same as removing the clitoris in FGM type 2. The rarest and worst type of FGM is type 3, which has no parallel in male circumcision.

But… you may note that FGM is illegal in every single western nation on the planet, (2) and has never been practiced in western culture throughout the whole of history. And we live in the west. Our campaigns affect the west. So which is more extremist? Focusing on an issue which causes 0% of the suffering, or focusing on an issue which causes 100% of the suffering? No child is capable of choosing mutilation, regardless of any minor coincidental medical benefits. It has always been a religious practice designed to oppress men’s sexuality.

3. Sexualized body image

We all know that women are portrayed sexually everywhere in the media. The thing is, so are men. After you’ve finished walking down your local Walgreen’s or Rite Aid’s makeup section, take a walk down the aisle dedicated to muscle supplements, or look at the fitness magazine covers, or the deodorant adverts. Take a look at the romance novel section. Ask yourself, when was the last time you saw a man looking that good in real life? Ask yourself how easy it is for a man to live up to that body image? Are they photoshopped?

Which position is more extremist? That only women suffer from sexualization, or that only men suffer from sexualization? The answer is neither. The thing is, MRAs don’t deny women are sexualized. They only point out that men are sexualized too, because who else will say it? Surely the middle ground is pointing out that both genders are even. It may be hard on us all, but we all have a basic instinct to look good for the opposite sex!

4. Child support

We all know of the deadbeat dads. They run off and leave a poor woman struggling to raise children on her own. Did you know that 70% of divorces are initiated by women? (3) That women desire custody of the children in 90% of cases anyway? Did you know that 75% of men fall into child support arrears because they lost their jobs? (4) Did you know that even when they can’t pay, they are imprisoned, lose their driving licenses, and can’t vote?

So which position is more extremist? Focusing on deadbeat dads and blaming them for the helplessness of single women? Or, focusing on  men as victims of a situation beyond their control? Isn’t it more extremist to blame the victim? Men are more often in the situations which we, as a society, put them in and want them in.

5. Patriarchy

We all know that men are at the head of everything. As owners of the system, they dominate and control women who have no power. By extension, men are to blame for everything. This is patriarchy. However, what are our gender roles? Men carry out their roles for society, just as women do. Women have always crossed those bridges men designed and built. They have always lived in those houses. Whether through taxation benefits or marriage, women have always shared in wealth of even the highest earning men. Children become what you make of them. Did you know that almost all children are raised by women?

So which position is more extremist? Believing that men are in charge of everything, so by extension, we live in a patriarchy? Or believing that women control us all for the first third of our lives, encourage us to succeed in our gender role, then spend our money? In this way, we could extend blame to women for literally every ill in the entire world. It’s matriarchy. But here’s the thing. An MRA may believe in smashing a matriarchy. Or, he sees traditional gender roles as even and fair. He’s either just as extremist as a feminist, or, he’s taken a middle road and isn’t extremist at all!

So next time you read A Voice For Men, read all the anger, the parody, the farce, and see the ridiculous jokes, ask yourself if that anger is justified.

If the opponents of men’s rights see us as extremist, ask yourself if that’s really the case. If someone saw your views as extremist, and they were wrong, ask yourself if you’d take the mickey out of those people? Ask yourself if you’d joke about them? Ask yourself if you’d write sarcastically?

Imagine that you are not an extremist. And still, nobody listens to your important concerns. Imagine if your important concerns being so frowned upon that you got blamed for everything bad that has ever happened in the entire world. Wouldn’t your humor be tinged with bitterness? Wouldn’t you confront those telling lies about you?

I think you would.

Any word anyone writes on the Internet is there to be judged by all. That’s the nature of the beast. All we ask is that you judge with your mind clear and your eyes open.

- Danny Baines, A Voice For Men

.

woman: *opens door for man who happens to be an MRA*
man: “I AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF OPENING THE DOOR BY MYSELF U WOMEN TRYING TO TAKE MASCULINE JOBS AWAY!1!!1!1”
woman: *closes door for man who happens to be an MRA*
man: “UR OPPRESSING ME DAMN FEMINAZIS WILL NEVR STOP END THIS MISANDRY ::::’(((((((”

What’s to become of us all?

NIGHT FIVE: “THE WAY FORWARD”

Welcome to the fifth and final night of the Pointless Letters special event, looking at the Daily Mail’s serialisation of Stand By Your Manhood, a blistering indictment of the oppression experienced by MEN in modern life.

Fast becoming the go-to text for fedora wearing friendzoned neckbeards everywhere, Stand By Your Manhood paints a bleak picture of a Britain - nay, a WORLD - in which women enjoy all manner of unfair advantages over men. But fear not! Tonight, we break from the doom and gloom!

Yes, grimly silent wankchambers all over the country will be filled with relieved grunts tonight as we reveal the way forward for MEN to a bright, new future of EQUALITY!

END THE DENIGRATION! ACROSS THE NATION!

“It’s political correctness gone mad, is what it is.”

Myth one: Not ruddy.

Myth two: Not bloody.

This would be the wage gap that is the subject of innumerable reports, analyses, articles, comments and discussions, right? The one where I put “UK Wage Gap” into Google and it comes back with 1,390,000 results?

Riiiiiiiight. And the experts from the Government and the ONS and the Fawcett Society and many others, they just didn’t understand it, right? 

Well, that was simple. NEXT!

TL; DR - Fathers spend time with their children. AND DO THEY GET A MEDAL? NO!

If you say so…

“So you see, this one study finds that in one age range for one occupation that women are bringing home more money than men, so there can’t possibly be a pay gap any more. That’s just logic.”

LOGIC BOMB BOOOOOOOM

“I’ve lost count of the number of times I have sat in a restaurant alone, staring at couples, getting angry at the women. The women. ALWAYS THE FUCKING WOMEN AND THEIR JEWELLERY.”

“We like these women. The ones we approve of. It’s a very exclusive club, you know.”

NOT ALL MEN! (want to pay for dinner)

Fedoras to tipping position “A”, please.

“We totally respect women.”

But remember, this always must be framed around THE MEN and how they are treated. That’s the rule!

“At the moment we have 99% of the power, opportunities and wealth under our control, and if you ask us to take that down to 98% we will hold our breath until we pass out. You see if we don’t!”

AND THAT’S IT! If you have made it this far, well done. Remember, when you look at THE MEN in your life, be sensitive. Be nice. You’re dealing with a marginalised, horribly oppressed group. There’s trauma there.

  • man:i'm going to put this SLUT in her place! im going to gag and rape that bitch!!!
  • mras and libfems:nice to see some Safe Sane Consensual Kink goin on... I love Choice and healthy sex!!!!!!
  • woman:im going to beat my bf lol
  • mras and libfems:OH.. .OHHM MY GOD?? TAHT IS ABUSIVE AND DISGSUTING... HWO DARE YOU.. A MONSTER... YOU SHOULD KILL YOURSELF AND DIE BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO DISGUSRTING FOR THIS WORLD1!!! OH MY GOD.>!>>!>!>

what mras and meninists don’t seem to get is that misogyny is the exact cause of most of their problems they seem to bring up every time they try to argue why such mentalities need to exist

men as victims not being taken seriously? misogyny, the idea that being a victim is inherently feminine and that femininity in a man is a sign of weakness

men dealing with prejudice in custody battles? misogyny, and once again, the idea that raising a child and what goes into raising a child is feminine and therefore men cannot raise children without a woman

just because the root of your problems starts in the oppression of another group doesn’t mean you don’t have problems and it doesn’t mean that your problems should be ignored, but

in order to solve your problems, you need to attack the cause

Things anti-sjws need to stop doing:

  • Calling people “retards,” “autistic,” and/or “faggots” because they were wrong. You sound just like the sjws who call people “cishets,” “men,” or “white” for disagreeing with them.
  • Pulling the “Well women in third-world countries…” card because, let’s face it, y’all don’t do anything for those women except use them for your arguments, and it’s ironic because most of these people are pro-GG so video game journalism is also not nearly of a deal as what the oppression those women face. (NOTE: I am not claiming that “manspreading” and stuff like that is oppression either, nor am I an anti-GG, just pointing out that you also prioritize what is honestly a first world problem compared to what those women go through while bitching at feminists for doing the same)
  • Pretending anti-feminists are perfect and never ever protest against someone for saying “I’m a feminist.” I’ve seen anti-feminists say “Well I agree with Christina Hoff Sommers’ views but I disagree with her identifying as a feminist.” I’ve also seen another anti-feminist attack a self-proclaimed egalitarian feminist just for the “feminist” part of the label she uses.
  • Labeling every little fucking thing “sjw” just because it mentions social justice or equality or feminism of any sort.
  • Purposely misgendering someone because you spite them or they disagreed with you. Looking at you, people who call Brianna Wu a “he.”
  • Dedicating your blog to nothing but hating feminists or debunking stuff. This is more of me being concerned for your health than anything else. If hate consumes you too much, it can have negative effects on your mental state. This isn’t me being a sarcastic bitch either, I’m dead serious. I know from experience how this is.
  • Denying that misogyny / racism exists in the first world. Even if not so much in its oppressive form, the prejudicial form will always exist, therefore, misogyny and racism will always exist. Everywhere.
  • Stereotyping feminists as fat, wearing cat glasses, having an unnatural hair color, being hairy, etc. Especially if you also get pissed when sjws stereotype anti-sjws as fat, neckbearded, dudebros, fedora-wearers, etc.
  • Generalizing other fandoms but still being quick to say “Not all bronies!” I hate anti-bronies too, and I agree, not all bronies. But also, not all SuperWhoLocks are crazy yaoi fangirls, not all furries are obsessed with animal porn, not all Steven Universe fans are sjws, not all Vocaloid fans are weeaboos, etc.
  • Fight hate with hate, AKA the thing sjws themselves do. 
  • “I know they’re a Nazi but sometimes they post good st–” Yeah, we get it. A broken clock is right twice a day. Since that is true, let’s go follow people like misandry-mermaid as well, since she also posts good stuff from time to time. Oh wait.
  • Trying to say sjws are “worse” than Nazis because “At least Nazis don’t claim they’re fighting for equality!” Heck, maybe not Nazis, but a few more extreme anti-sjws claim to be for equality when… they’re not.
  • Trying to convert critical feminists or any feminist that actually does believe in equality into egalitarians.
  • Viewing everything as black and white.

Things that anti-sjws need to start doing:

  • Policing the anti-sjw movement more. Make sure people avoid the more toxic anti-sjw blogs. Of course, if you make an avoid list, provide sources and reasons backing up why these types of blogs should be avoided or at least followed by people who are willing to step up and call out their wrongdoings.
  • Taking a break from debunking posts and all that. Post some positive stuff so you don’t get too stressed. Post things that you’d post on a personal blog not related to anti-sjw stuff. Being negative all the time can harm your brain, so treat yourself to positivity; things that make you happy, make you laugh, make you feel at ease.
  • Also take breaks from blogging period. Add stuff to your queue, of course, so your followers will be happy, while you take a two week vacation away from Tumblr’s constant bullshit.
  • Call out all bigots. Not just sjws. Tumblr has its fair share of holocaust deniers, neo-Nazis, extreme right-wingers, and pretty much everything else.
  • Be more welcoming and supportive of critical feminists and equality feminists. The feminist movement needs feminists like them, and in all honesty, we need more feminists like them on our side. As feminists, they have more power than egalitarians, mras, anti-feminists, and the rest of us who aren’t feminists. They can prove to be awesome allies.
  • Being more civil and level-headed in debates (unless provoked, of course). I’ve noticed that being polite, civil, and overall level-headed gets your point across better, and usually both sides come to an agreement as long as both sides remain calm.

Honestly I’d list more on both lists but I’m tired, so here’s this and goodnight.

Feel free to add more.

Privileged groups getting victim complexes when others want equality: Part one
  • Gay people:We should be allowed to get married.
  • Conservatives:NO, THEN STRAIGHT MARRIAGES WILL LOSE MEANING! YOUR MOVEMENT IS DISGUSTING!
  • Black people:White people shouldn't be able to get away with unjustly profiling and murdering us because black lives matter.
  • White people:HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT ALL OF US ARE MURDERERS AND THAT OUR LIVES DON'T MATTER?! THIS IS REVERSE RACISM AND PROOF THAT CIVIL RIGHTS IS A HATE MOVEMENT SO LET'S JUST SAY "ALL LIVES MATTER" AND NOT CHANGE ANYTHING
  • Feminists:Men should stop sexually harassing us and blaming us for it because women are human beings too.
  • Men:HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS AND THAT MEN ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS?! THIS IS MISANDRY AND PROOF THAT FEMINISM IS A HATE MOVEMENT SO LET'S NOT CHANGE ANYTHING
Misogyny PSA

What isn’t misogyny

1. Not being attracted to women
2. Identifying with a male character in entertainment.
3. Complimenting a woman’s appearence.
4. Being attracted to some woman and not others.
5. Encouraging self defense.
6. Criticizing a woman’s ability to do her job.
7. Requiring soldiers, law enforcement officers, firefighters, etc. regardless of gender to be held to the same fitness standard.
8. Speaking for men’s rights.
9. Dress codes that help maintain a professional atmosphere.
10. Being a stay at home mom.
11. Expanding the definition of rape to include women offenders.

What is misogyny.

1. Criticizing a woman’s ability to do her job because she’s a woman.
2. Believing women are intellectually and morally inferior to men.
3. Paying a female employee less because she is a woman.
4. Sexual assault/ harassment.
5. Trying to silence a women’s right activist.
6. Believing that a rape should not be punished based on the victims clothing
7. Believing that a woman’s only role is to be a mother.

Tbh, feminists do more for men’s rights than so called “meninists” any day.

I have yet to see a “meninist” do anything for:

male rape victims,

transgender men, 

gay men,

men of color. 

All I’ve seen are angry white cishet men complaining about the draft, “friendzone”, and paying child support.

anonymous asked:

As for problematic MRAs, there was this one guy called ask-an-mra-anything (this url has now been taken over by a feminist who calls MRAs pissbabies and judges all MRAs based on this MRA mentioned earlier) who was planning on murdering the doctor who circumcised him (later he the doctor was already dead and thus couldn't be murdered) and hoped that misandry-mermaid would get raped. (part 1)

(part 2) In two years of being an MRA, this guy is the only example of violent behaviour and extremism I have seen in the community. This one guy on tumblr who likely had less than a dozen followers. That’s it.

I know who you’re talking about. But the story is actually kind of sad in my opinion. Before I go further I want to make it clear I don’t condone the things he said, just that I understand how he got to that point.

I first noticed him when people started posting polite asks he was sending them. He was sending them to feminists offering to clear up misconceptions about the MRM. He was genuinely extending an olive branch and trying to find a middle ground. Feminists responded, and they were not nearly as nice about as he was.

Responses were brutal. They ranged from mild derision to attacking him for his body issues, and telling him to kill himself. They accused him of being a stalker, said they were being harassed by him after a single message. He persevered for quite a while, endured a torrent of abuse and hate, but the inevitable happened.

He snapped. He lashed out. It’s a sad reality that when you push a person hard and long enough, they will break from the stress. He said some really hateful shit, He also apologized for a lot of it later on in some of his many remakes. He obviously had severe issues related to his circumcision, which feminists, and lets face it that was who was making these attacks, hounded him about relentlessly. They found a sore spot and they attacked him mercilessly. These attacks started long before he said any hateful crap.

Then after pushing him past the brink, getting him to fight back, they immediately played the victim card. Look at this asshole attacking people and saying these horrible things. They broke him. Then they pissed all over the pieces and said “Look at this evil fucker who said X” while leaving out the part where they harassed and attacked him until he broke.

So yeah, he said some shitty things, things he later regretted and apologized for. But he was hounded and bullied relentlessly before he got to that point. I can understand why he lashed out. I think most people on this site probably would do the same in a similar situation. What he needed was support from the community around him. Support I never really saw him get.

I think he is more of a cautionary tale of how dangerous it is to engage feminists on this site.

  • Me:I should be allowed to walk the street naked and not have to worry about being raped
  • Anti feminists:men think with their dicks tho! They're innately sexually aggressive animals that cant control themselves and you're walking around like a piece of meat!
  • Me:men are responsible for 99% of all rapes that occur to women.
  • Anti feminists:excuse me? Not all men okay. God this feminism shit makes men out to be like sexually aggressive animals that cant control themselves.