mr.brainwash

things that have happened in super paper mario
  • apparently mario is the hero of prophecy said to save all worlds from a universe-ending chaos heart brought about by princess peach and bowser getting married
  • if you keep saying no to the guy who wants to give you the pure heart so you can save the world you will eventually get a game over
  • “ok yeah. cool. great. got it, k?”
  • “GRAH-BOOGLY”
  • just o’chunks in general, really
  • “and so i arrive, like a sudden windstorm at a kindergarten picnic”
  • shut up dimentio
  • c:// error c:// running insult generator c:// result : go away yeti-lip
  • BLECK says count bleck
  • theres a part in chapter two where everything is rhyming. everything. is. rhyming. merlee won’t stop rhyming and mimi does it herself on accident
  • “and here i thought mimi’s ideal world was a gem-filled pool with hunky lifeguards”
  • “ENJOY LABOR”
  • press left on the d-pad for six minutes to get at least 10,000 rubees to get a really unnecessarily long code from a guy to get 1,000,000 rubees, essentially stealing them, to pay off your debt
  • mimi breaks her own neck and spins her head around before giant-ass spider legs come out of her head and she chases you around merlee’s unnecessarily large basement
  • CHERBILS
  • peach is actually a solid character in this game and she owns up to her own actions and helps you (and is a really good and balanced character) in the game
  • “my friends on the digibutter.nerr forums are gonna FREAK when i show them this”
  • apparently the bitlands has an affinity for red
  • “listen, pal, nobody likes having their butterfly kidnapped by a nerd, but you have to listen to me”
  • “but im BOWSER! im prime cut 100% final boss!”
  • this guy just shows up and starts hollering about bowser’s girth
  • I WOULD GLADLY STRANGLE AN AMAZEE DAYZEE IF GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY
  • “SHAKE THAT THORAX”
  • “do not think i did it out of the kindness of my robot heart”
  • right before you fight the boss of chapter three you have to answer a bunch of questions as peach (”my first love was an anime character!”) and then you have to go IN as peach and the boss (a chameleon nerd) gets so nervous that he opens up a program that turns the whole world into a dating sim
  • “so… how much do you make”
  • shut up dimentio
  • if you say no enough times to using the helmet you’ll get a game over
  • squirps
  • just
  • squirps
  • “AMORE AMORE AMORE”
  • theres an outhouse in space for some reason
  • you take this guy’s precious treasure map and give it to some alien fairy in said space outhouse for him to use as toilet paper
  • LUIGI GETS BRAINWASHED????
  • mr. l just kicks squirps away. just kicks him away.
  • “CRAGGA-WAGGA-WOOOOOOO”
  • a very old caveman says “hook us up, brahs”
  • you can make a pixl shout various phrases, all of which i opted to make the guy say curse words
  • “YEH CRAZED LOON”
  • S  H U T  U P  D I M E N T I O
  • “OOOOOWEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO”
  • a world literally ends right before your tender eyes. there is nothing left when you return to its remains.
  • DIMENTIO KILLS LUIGI
  • HE ACTUALLY KILLS HIM
  • LIKE
  • LUIGI ENDS UP IN THE PAPER MARIO EQUIVALENT OF HELL FOR SOME REASON
  • HE ACTUALLY DIES
  • AND THEN DIMENTIO GOES AND KILLS MARIO, PEACH, AND BOWSER TOO
  • WOULDN’T IT BE FUN IF WE COULD GO TO HELL
  • wELL SURPRISE, THE ONLY ONE THAT WENT TO HEAVEN WAS PEACH
  • “some people call it world -1″
  • the nimbis just talk in ye olde english
  • “gameovergameovergameovergameover CONTINUE”
  • borguy the 64th
  • shUt up dimentio
  • the weird emotional underlying story you’re getting after each chapter with some wahoos named blumiere and timpani with some mahjong-ass music playing in the bg
  • “THOU ART TOAST”
  • there is a character that is literally the paper mario equivalent of lucifer
  • SHUTUPDIMENTIO
  • IT TURNS OUT THE MAIN VILLAIN OF THE ENTIRE GAME IS A VERY EMOTIONALLY TORTURED PERSON AND IS TRYING TO COMMIT MASS OMNICIDE BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HIS DAD KILLED HIS LOVER
  • “What Ended My Last Relationship” “DADDY ISSUES”
  • one by one each of your party members and each of count bleck’s main minions get ‘killed off’ before returning in the final fight
  • I AM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU DIMENTIO
  • DISRESPECTING LUIGI
  • DISRESPECTING LUIGI
  • DISRESPECTING LUIGI
  • DISRESPECTING LUIGI
  • DISRESPECTING LUIGI
  • that ending is going to rip out your heart and stomp on it so you’d best bring some tissues
  • NASTASIA DON’T CRY
  • DFJHKFLHFLDJKSHDFKHGJKLDHFGLKHGFDJKLHFGIOGJ
  • a good game overall