mr.baker

lmao just imagine

teenaged eveline’s friend who is a boy is coming over to the eerie baker estate to visit eveline

when eveline opens the door he could see Zoe and Ethan cleaning knives, Mia casually cocking a gun with bullets, Lucas tinkering what it looks like a bomb, marquirete has a bunch of black widows in a jar as she’s casually cooking a sandwich, and Jack has a unusually sharp shovel in his hands while watching tv and they’re all just glaring at eveline’s friend

“ah hello! welcome to the family. im Clancy Jarvis and that’s Zoe Baker ( "she makes knives a lot” ) Ethan Winters ( “he fucking hates everyone lmao but he’s sweet especially to his family” ) Mia Winters ( “she’s really sweet and knows like all the exotic island cause of her job” ), Lucas Baker ( “my fiancee. he’s shy so he doesn’t like to talk to people but he complains a lot about his parents but he loves them” ) Mrs. Baker ( “her cooking is the bomb! she’s super kind too!!” ), and Mr.Baker! ( “he plays a lot of pranks so do be careful but he’s surprisingly sweet and affectionate” )“ Clancy is just smiling unusually hard as he introduces everyone

then he darkly turns his head around "listen, hurt eveline either emotionally or physically ill put a serum in ur fuckinh veins that makes sure ur always in pain until ur 50 got it?” when the boy nods, bright sunshiny Clancy is back and grabs the boy arm, showing him around the estate while eveline is embarrassedly covering her face