Which Austen book/movie do you think had the most sexual tension?
Persuasion, hands down.
Think about it: every other novel depends wholly upon the uncertainty of the heroine being unaware of the hero’s romantic interest for some portion of the novel, with misunderstandings and difficulties largely brought on by the structure of Proper Courtship where it was generally considered inappropriate for either party to display too much obvious inclination until a proposal was actually made. (Marianne’s quick and clear affection for Willoughby makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Fanny Price is commended for her placid response to Henry Crawford’s flirtations. Elizabeth Bennet doesn’t even begin to remotely consider Darcy as a marital prospect until after he’s proposed and been rejected with some of the sickest burns ever committed to the page.)
But Persuasion. Ah, Persuasion. Anne has already previously accepted and then rejected Wentworth before the novel even starts. The whole book already exists at the level of tension we see reached when Lizzy runs into Darcy unexpectedly on her visit to Pemberley. That’s the whole book.
And it gets better.
Anne didn’t reject Wentworth because she couldn’t fuckin’ stand him, the way Elizabeth chewed off Darcy’s ear for being a dillhole to Jane and (she thinks) to Wickham. Anne loved Wentworth, and he loved her. They were devoted to each other. It’s the fact that she broke off the engagement despite this that rankles, for both of them. The attraction was there. It was acknowledged. It was allowed to burn wild and bright for that brief, delicious time before Lady Russell’s doubts and concerns seized hold of Anne and persuaded her to wreck his happiness, and her own. No, they were both fully aware of how much they wanted each other, and they were like “yeah, let’s get married, it’ll be great, I love you so much, oh God you’re so attractive, you’re amazing, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you’re everything I could ever want.”
It was real and undeniable. They cannot unsay any of it. And then it was over.
And that’s just the backstory.
So despite Wentworth being hella difficult for Anne to read, and her own shattered expectations and self-esteem leading her to believe that of course he’s over her and totally into Louisa Musgrove, why wouldn’t he be, she’s young and cute and so many things Anne is not…we still get to watch Anne burn for this man after eight years apart and know that that’s a fire that’s never going to go out for the rest of her life, if time and distance and hopelessness and even the attentions of other charming young men in Captain Benwick and Mr. Elliott haven’t managed to put out those flames.
And on the re-read we can pick up on every look and cue from Wentworth which we then know to be signs of the fact that he is as helplessly lost to his desire for this person as he was nearly a decade earlier. He wants to believe otherwise and tries to act as if it is–and in a classic case of over-compensation gives rise to hopes and expectations from Louisa Musgrove which then very nearly lock him into an attachment which would surely divide him from Anne forever. And even when he feels himself safe from that, he confronts the possibility of Anne being taken by a rival in Mr. Elliott, and can only watch, rather than give a clear sign of his intent. After all the time that has passed, he is now in the position Anne was in at the beginning of the book, and must painfully struggle to weigh his own doubts against his desires. The no-liking-each-other-too-much-until-you-pop-the-question courtship rules still apply, and an open and happy flirtation at this point is not in their natures as individuals–they’re older than most other heroes and all other heroines. They know the risks. They’ve seen happiness slip away, before, and wonder if it is lost forever. Their emotional stakes are higher. He cannot bear to ask again, face to face.
The misery. The agony. The helpless and resentful eyefucking. That LETTER.
You were mad before, but now you were seething. You weren’t a pick up service, you had other things to do, but here you were, climbing too many stairs to pick up Tony Stark’s new project. You really hoped this Spidey was worth all this trouble.
Apartment 410, made it! You fixed your hair and clothes before knocking on the door. You knew your face was going to be red from the exertion, but that couldn’t be avoided. You really needed to get in shape.
A lovely woman in her mid40s opened the door. From the files Tony had given you, you knew she was Peter’s aunt.
“Hello, miss. You must be Aunt May. I’m here to pick up Peter on behalf of Mr. Stark.” You managed to shove your anger aside and sound polite.
“Oh! Of course! Come in. I’ll get him.” She said while she guided you inside the cozy apartment.
“Thank you.” You spoke as you walked in.
“Peter! Your ride is here!” Aunt May called down the hall. “Are you in the Stark internship too?” She turned around and asked you.
You opened your mouth, prepared to recite the lie you’d practice but Peter’s appearance saved you from answering. He came out of his bedroom, bumping into walls and struggling with his bags. He hadn’t looked up yet.
“Shit. Damn it. Ugh.” He cursed as he tried to right himself. He managed to arrive safely to the living room and he finally noticed you there. His eyes widened for a second before he shook himself out of his stupor.
“H…uh..hi.” He stuttered and you had to resist the urge to laugh at his awkwardness. He was kind of cute.
“Hello.” You said in the same polite tone you’d been using on Aunt May. You both stared at each other for a few seconds. He was very cute.
“Do you have everything, Peter?” Aunt May asked to break the silence.
“Yeah. I think so.” Peter said as he counted the bags he had, probably making sure he really did have everything.
“I’m going to miss you so much!” Aunt May exclaimed and pulled him into a tight hug.
“It’s just a summer intership. I’ll be back by August” Peter whined but returned the hug.
“I know, but that’s 3 whole months away!” Aunt May said and placed noisy kisses all over his face. You giggled at her actions.
“Aunt May, please!” Peter complained, fighting to pull away “not in front of the really pretty girl” he whispered the last part but you heard him clearly and blushed.
“Oh. Right. Sorry.” Aunt May didn’t seem apologetic at all.
Peter looked between you and his aunt before giving his aunt one last, quick hug and walking towards you.
“Is this all?” You ask as you point towards the four bags he carried.
“Ye…yeah.” He stuttered once more.
“Great!,” You said and took a shoulder bag from him. “Nice to meet you, Aunt May!” You waved and walked out of the apartment.
“You don’t have to help! I can handle it!” He called after you as you began the long decent down the stairs.
“It’s fine. Now come on! We’ll be late and he doesn’t like to be kept waiting” you shouted back and hurried down the stairs.
Peter nodded and followed after you. Once outside the building Happy was standing outside the car, waiting for you. When he saw you he hurried towards you and took the shoulder bag.
“Thanks, Happy.” You smiled genuinely. “You could’ve warned me about the thousands of stairs though.” You reprimanded playfully.
“If I did you wouldn’t have gone up, Y/N/N.” He shot back and moved to take the rest of Peter’s luggage.
You pulled out your phone to update Tony on what was happening.
“Is that your name? Y/N/N?” Peter asked once he was standing beside you.
You finished writing the text and turned towards Peter with a smile.
“No, it’s Y/N, but some people call me Y/N/N.”
“What…what should I call you?” He asked, A slight blush rising on his cheeks. He was definitely cute.
“You chose, Peter.” You flirted and threw a wink his way. You couldn’t help but chuckle when he turned even redder.
You slid into the car, Peter was still in shock, standing outside but one look from Happy had him getting in after you.
As soon as the car started moving your phone rang. You groaned when you saw the caller ID.
You didn’t even say hello when you answered. “I have him. Yes. Yes I know. Would you just. Yes. Alright. Fine!” You hit the end button and threw your head back in frustration.
Happy waited patiently for you to calm down before asking what Tony wanted.
“He wants a cheeseburger from McDonald’s.” You said annoyed.
“Have patience, Y/N/N. You know he’s always like that.” Happy tried to reason but it didn’t work.
“Mr. Stark?” Peter asked, excitement in his voice. He was cute but the hero worship over Ironman made him lose points.
“Yeah. He’s craving a cheeseburger.”
Peter laughed and you couldnt help but join along. His eyes locked with yours and you turned towards the window to hide your blush. Fine, maybe he was still cute, even with the whole hero worshipping. You cleared your throat before turning back towards him.
“So. You excited about this internship?” You asked using the code name for what he was really going to the avengers compound for.
“Yeah! It’s so amazing! Mr. Stark is great! He wants to perfect Spid- I mean my…uh…my project.”
You laughed at his failed attempt at coming up with a decent cover-up “You mean Spiderman’s webbing and suit and all?”
“You know?!” He asked, clearly surprised.
“Of course I know.” You said with a chuckle.
“Oh…I didn’t know you knew…my aunt didn’t even know till by accident I mean…I thought the only one who knew was Mr. Stark.” He scratched his neck, bashful.
“I’m very trustworthy don’t worry.” You reassured him.
“You must be if he told you.” He reasoned.
“Don’t be mad at him. There’s no one he trust more than me.” You couldn’t hide the pride in your voice. Even when you were mad at him you still adored him.
“R…really?” Peter seemed impressed by your admission.
“Yup!” You exaggerated the p and smiled.
You stopped by McDonald’s before reaching the plane terminal. The three of you boarded Tony’s private jet and took off.
The short plane ride was enough time for you and Peter to bond. You found out you had a lot of things in common, one of them being your love of Star Wars. You weren’t used to being 100% truthful with people your own age and it was fun to be so carefree. You didn’t have to hide the whole ‘I’m constantly surrounded by superheroes’ part of your life with him.
As soon as you landed you could see Tony standing by the landing pad through the plane window. The sight of him made your anger return. You were the first out of the plane and he smiled widely, greeting you.
“Y/N/N!” He exclaimed and you just shoved the bag with the cheeseburger at him completely ignoring him and walked into the compound.
“She still mad at me?” Tony asked Happy.
“She stopped complaining once we picked up the kid but I guess she’s still mad.” Happy answered with a shrug.
Tony sighed before turning to a confused Peter with a smile. “I’ll buy her something later. Anyway! Spiderboy!”
“Spiderman.” Peter corrected.
“Yeah yeah. You ready to have the best summer of your life?” Tony asked as he threw an arm around him and began walking with him towards the compound.
“Is…um…is Y/N part of the, uh, intership too?” Peter asked he couldn’t help but stare as you picked up a stack of papers from a table and walked with purpose towards the elevator.
“Nah. She’s got other things going on.” Tony said as he followed his gaze towards the clearly still angry (Y/H/C)
“She’s very pretty.” Peter commented, A lovesick look on his face.
“Yeah, well, she gets her looks from me.” Tony teased with a big grin.
Peter’s mouth dropped open and he turned towards Tony. “What do you mean? She…oh! Oh! She’s your…you’re her…you two are rela…You’re…”
Tony cut in when he noticed that Peter wasnt going to finish any of his sentences any time soon. “Yes, she’s my daughter.”
“I…I’m so sorry I said…I mean.” Peter turned beet red as he tried to apologize.
Tony laughed and clapped him on the back “Calm down, spidey.” He said and began guiding the opposite way of where you had gone. “Let’s get to work.”
“Uh, Sure…yeah, Mr. Stark.”
I think I could come up with a sequel to this one-shot but only if people are interested in reading it. Let me know what you think!
Yell at one of my employees? Enjoy your over-priced meal.
I work at a fast-food restaurant in a small town. More specifically, I’m the manager of that store (I don’t own it, but I run it).
As is common for most small towns, we often get customers that come through our drive-thru in those stupid jacked-up diesel pickup trucks, and those things are LOUD, especially when played through a headset directly into your ear.
Not only do those trucks sound like a school bus that hasn’t had a muffler in 12 years, but they make it reeeaaaally difficult to hear the driver through your headset, especially when the driver thinks you can hear their order that’s spoken at normal conversational volume.
Once there was a man named Mr. Paddiwak. Mr. Paddiwak worked at a bank, and he was a very good banker indeed.
One day, a frog hopped into the bank and right up on to Mr. Paddiwak’s desk.
“Hello!” the frog said cheerfully “I’m here to take out a loan, the woman on the desk said you could help me?”
Mr. Paddiwak frowned a little, and then said
“Well, perhaps I might be able to help. Do you have anything to offer for collateral?”
The frog nodded and offered up a paperweight in the shape of an elephant.
“Will this do?” He asked, and Mr. Paddiwak frowned again
“I’m not sure. It’s certainly…unusual. Let me ask my manager” and Mr. Paddiwak excused himself to speak to his manager
“Excuse me sir” Mr. Paddiwack said knocking on his manager’s door “I have a frog here who wants to take out a loan, but all he has to offer up for collateral is this elephant shaped paperweight. Does that qualify?“
The manage looked up at Mr. Paddiwak and said gruffly
"It’s a knick-knack, Paddiwak! Give the frog a loan!”
Are we just going to ignore the fact that at some point Mr. Priest developed a crush on Ken?
This season has kinda proven that what Bart said about Ken last season is true:
Ken seems to attract dangerous types without really trying.
He is first introduced in season one as a tech guy who gets hired to do illegal stuff for dangerous people and it’s implied that it’s a regular occurrence.
He is the first person to somehow survive and befriend Bart while encountering her in the wild and being kidnapped by her, just by talking.
Trigger happy Hugo Friedkin ends up relying on him after keeping him held prisoner in a car for months. The crazy thing is, Hugo doesn’t listen to anyone, even Riggins couldn’t fully control him, but he ends up taking Ken’s word as gospel. Hugo has even said that Ken is the only one who makes sense in Blackwing. Ken managed to also avoid being shot by one of Hugo’s impulsive shooting sprees just by talking to him.
Now we have Mr. Priest who is violent as hell and can barely be controlled but somehow Ken has him wrapped around his finger just by talking to him through a speaker. Never mind the fact that Priest keeps taking all of Ken’s commands flirtatiously and seems so eager to talk to him.
I’m not saying Ken has powers but maybe he has a holistic ability to know exactly what to say to survive and manage killers.