Summary: Archie and you have a fight when Veronica can’t seem to understand that Archie isn’t single but that doesn’t stop her from kissing him. During ‘Secrets and Sins’ some things you didn’t know are revealed causing a rift but with the sex be enough to convince you how much Archie cares?
Characters: Reader x Archie Andrews, Betty Cooper x Jughead Jones, Veronica Lodge, Kevin Keller, Cheryl Blossom, Chuck Clayton, Dilton Doiley, FP Jones, Jason Blossom (mentioned) and Ms. Grundy (mentioned).
Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I do not own Riverdale or the characters involved. Some parts of the dialogue from the episode has been changed to fit the fic.
Warnings: Swearing, underage drinking, party, fighting, and smut.
The minute Archie told you about Betty throwing Jughead a birthday party you knew it would go bad. When you were young Mrs. Jones would babysit you for extra cash, your parents doubled the average pay to her. That meant you grew up close with Jughead as if you were siblings or really close cousins and you knew how much he hated his birthday.
You were shocked when Archie allowed the get together build into a fill fledged high school part with two kegs in attendance. Your boyfriend was acting odd but refused to tell you why and you didn’t appreciated Veronica making eyes at your oblivious boyfriend.
I love your writing so bad! So I got this idea and hoped you would write
it? So, reader is Archies girlfriend, Kevin’s sister which makes her the
daughter of the sheriff. Since Jasons dead it has been forbidden to go to the
river, but she and Archie sneaks out in the middle of the night and go there.
The get in the water and make out. Things heated as her dad aka the sheriff
finds them and takes her home. He forbids them to see each other, but the keep
doing it, tho. U decide the happy ending :)
Pairing: Archie x
sheriff’s daughter and her boyfriend are quite the trouble-making pair.
Word count: 940
A/N: ahh my first
archie imagine!! hope you all enjoy!!
You and Kevin sat in your room together, listening to Taylor Swift’s
“I’m just not feeling the country,” Kevin critiqued. “Even in the Red album, she was leaning
“But this is classic Taylor!” you protested. “You’re telling me you don’t like Fearless?”
“I’m not saying that,” he raised his hands in defense. “I’m just saying 1989 is way better.” You rolled your eyes.
“Whatever, Kev.” Before he
could think of a clever remark, a tapping on your window interrupted the two of
you. Sharing puzzled glances, you and
Kevin slowly moved towards your window.
You pushed back the curtains to reveal your boyfriend, Archie Andrews,
standing on a ladder.
“Can I come in?” he asked cheekily. You rolled your eyes, but smiled and opened
the window. He climbed in and closed the
window behind him. Listening to the
music that was playing, he shot you a raised eyebrow. “Taylor Swift?”
“Hell yeah!” you nodded, but lowered the volume a bit. “So what are you doing here?”
“I was wondering if you wanted to go to the river,” Archie
suggested with a small smirk. Before you
could respond, Kevin cut you off.
“Dad said we aren’t allowed,” he shot you a warning glance.
“So what?” you rolled your eyes.
“He’s not gonna find out.” Kevin
pursed his lips and crossed his arms, sending you a pointed look. “You wouldn’t.”
“I will,” Kevin warned. “There’s
a murderer in Riverdale right now, and going to Sweetwater River is like
walking into death’s trap.”
“Come on, Kev,” you whined.
He shook his head.
“No. There’s nothing you
can say that’ll convince me not to tell him.”
You furrowed your eyebrows trying to think of something you held against
him. Finally, you reached an idea and
“I’ll tell him about Joaquin,” you declared. His face visibly paled as his eyes widened.
“But… but you can’t!” he stuttered.
“I won’t tell dad if you don’t tell him about me going to
Sweetwater River,” you bargained. He
huffed and rolled his eyes, but agreed.
You smirked triumphantly and smiled at Archie. “Let’s go.”
He went down the ladder first to make sure he could catch you if you
The night was dark and silent, and you and Archie stifled
your laughs as you ran towards the river.
“This is such a bad idea,” you whispered, but he just waved
it off and kissed you. You smiled into
“Let’s go into the water,” he said, and you nodded. The two of you, holding hands, ran into the
water. You shrieked with delight as the
coldness of the water enveloped the lower half of your body. Archie snuck up from behind and grabbed you
by the waist, twirling you around as you laughed. He set you down and turned you around so you
face him. Still grasping onto your
waist, his lips connected with yours.
This kiss was not like the ones the two of you had shared before; this
one was rough and passionate. You
wrapped your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Archie’s fingers traced the hem of your
shirt. You were about to prompt him to
take it off, but the shine of a flashlight caught your eye. The two of you separated and looked for the
source of the light.
It was your dad.
“Fuck,” you muttered under your breath, squeezing Archie’s
hand. Your dad approached the edge of
“(Y/N)!” he yelled, shining his flashlight directly in yours
and Archie’s eyes. “Get out of the river
right now!” You and your boyfriend
obliged, slowly trekking onto the shore.
The two of you were dripping wet, and your dad, who had come prepared,
threw each of you a towel.
“Sorry dad,” you mumbled, keeping your head down.
“Sorry?” he demanded, his voice cold with anger. “Sorry doesn’t cut it, (Y/N). As the sheriff, I have to protect this entire
goddamned town, and my own daughter won’t listen to me. My own daughter! Do you know how that ruins my reputation?” You had no reply, so you just kept your head
“We’re sorry, Mr. Keller,” Archie apologized. “This was all my fault. I convinced (Y/N) to come out here with
me. Don’t get mad at her, please, I
should take all the blame.”
“Another reason why my daughter should have never started
dating you,” the sheriff spat. “Get in
the car, both of you. I’m taking Andrews
home and having him explain to his dad why the sheriff had to escort him
home. And then, (Y/N), we’re going to
have a nice long chat.”
You sat in your room, dismally staring out of the window.
“I didn’t tell him, you know,” Kevin said, not bothering to
knock before he entered your room. “He
walked into your room and saw you weren’t there, and I guess he just had a
hunch.” You turned to face your brother
and rolled your eyes.
“That’s great, Kev, but it doesn’t help the fact that I can’t
see Archie anymore,” you responded, and then turned back to the window. Kevin sighed and exited your room.
Lost in thought, you didn’t notice the ginger climbing
towards your window until his face was right in front of yours.
“Archie?” you whisper-yelled, opening the window. He grinned, but didn’t climb into your room.
“Hey,” he said.
“What are you doing here?” you asked. He just smiled and kissed you.
“I had to see you,” he answered after you two pulled
apart. You smiled and shook your head.
“God, you’re an idiot.” He
pouted, causing you to peck him on the lips.
After a hunt gone wrong, Y/N Winchester, the 17 year old half-sister of Sam and Dean Winchester, her older brothers, and Castiel are transported to Riverdale, a town in a different universe. While Sam, Dean, and Castiel attempt to find a way back home, Y/N struggles to fit in in the community of Riverdale. In a universe with no monsters to worry about, there’s so many questions that need answering.
Can she ever try to be normal after hunting for all of her life? Who’s the good-looking, mystical teen with the beanie who’s always at that diner? And will anyone discover that secret she’s been hiding for the last year and a half?
A/N: The song used in this fic is called “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” by Iron & Wine if anyone’s curious/wants to listen to it while reading this! Enjoy!
“So what do you guys want to do next? Facials, manicures, some gossiping about Reggie Mantle’s latest fling?”
“Kevin, no.” Betty groaned. “The last thing I want to hear about is Reggie’s sex life.”
You laughed and turned back to Betty’s little trinkets, checking them out. Girls night was being hosted at Betty’s house and you were having a great time so far. You, Betty, Veronica, and Kevin were listening to music and just chatting mindlessly about things like school and the dance.
“Oh, I love this song!” Veronica exclaimed.
Before you could ask what song it was, it flooded through the speakers.
I was a quick-wet boy Diving too deep for coins
You froze. It was your and Kevin’s song. The song that was playing when the both of you got together. Your first kiss. Your first dance.
Your mind felt burned out. You were sick of all this research. Why couldn’t you and your brothers and Kevin go on a vacation? One vacation. That’s all you were asking for. You sighed and rubbed your eyes. Kevin was on the opposite side of you, trying to translate the tablet. Some upbeat pop music was playing quietly from the radio. All of a sudden, a slow song came on the radio.
I was a quick-wet boy Diving too deep for coins
You paid no attention to it. Kevin however, looked up at you for a second, then to the radio, then back down to the tablet again. Should he or shouldn’t he? After toying with it for thirty seconds, he took a deep breath and got up and walked to your side.
Stole me a dog-eared map And called for you everywhere
You looked up from your book at him and Kevin held out his palm. You looked at it for a second before a hint of a smile came on your face and you placed your hand on his. Kevin smirked as you got up.
Have I found you? Flightless bird, jealous, weeping Or lost you?
He placed one hand on your hip and kept his other in yours. You placed your free hand on his shoulder and the two of you started to sway, slowly at first. Then the slow song picked up the beat just a bit and Kevin spun you around and smiled.
Now I’m a fat house cat Nursing my sore blunt tongue
You giggled as you spun and came back into contact with Kevin. The two of you continued to dance, every once in a while smiling or chuckling at your movements. By the song’s upcoming conclusion, the beat had considerably slowed down and the both of you swayed very slowly, gazing into each other’s eyes.
American mouth Big pill stuck going down
The song hit the final note and you and Kevin both leaned into each other at the same time, kissing each other softly. You finally broke the kiss and you looked at each other, trying to figure out the other’s reaction. Then at the same time, the two of you broke out into smiles and softly chuckled. You wrapped your arms around Kevin’s neck while Kevin snaked his arms around your waist. You rested your head on Kevin’s shoulder while Kevin rested his head on the side of your head. You both closed your eyes and continued to sway gently to the music that wasn’t even slow now. You were lost in your own world, not wanting this moment to end.
“Y/N?” Betty asked from behind you. “Are you okay?”
You gripped the table so hard your knuckles turned white.
All of your street light eyes Wide on my plastic toys
“Um, can you guys turn that off please?” you asked quietly, trying to keep your voice steady and your tears at bay.
Kevin quickly turned the song off and the three of them looked at you. Veronica slowly walked over to you.
“Y/N…” Veronica said, gently putting a hand on your arm. “Are you alright?”
You flinched at the touch and turned around to face the three other teens.
“I gotta go,” you said, quickly wiping a fallen tear away, hoping the teens wouldn’t notice.
“Um, thank you for having me over, Betty. Bye.” You quickly said before all but running out of the house.
You didn’t notice the photo that fell out of your jacket pocket.
“Wait, Y/N!” Betty called, but you were already downstairs.
The teens heard the front door close and Veronica and Kevin ran to the window, peeking out of it. You ran until you got to the end of the driveway, stopping. You ran a hand through your H/C locks, breathing heavily.
“Who gets PTSD from a song?” Kevin asked.
Veronica glared at him.
“What?” he asked innocently.
They turned back to you. You shoved your hands in your plaid jacket pockets and walked off down the street, beginning your journey to Pop’s.
“Hey guys?” Betty asked.
Kevin and Veronica turned to the blonde who picked up the fallen photograph.
“You need to see this.”
All you wanted was a milkshake to go. You would walk home and then lock yourself up in your room until Monday morning. You could try to convince Sam and Dean that you were sick on Monday to prevent going to school for one more day, but you knew they wouldn’t believe you. As you walked into Pop’s with those things on your mind, they instantly faded away once you saw Jughead sitting in his usual booth typing away on his computer. Seemingly feeling your gaze, Jughead looked up at you and smirked. You couldn’t help but smile back as you made your way over to the raven-haired teen, sitting across from him.
“Hey there, Ms. Winchester.” he said.
“Mr. Jones.” you said back as you stole a couple of Jughead’s fries.
“What brings you to this fine establishment at these hours?” he asked as he looked down at his laptop again. “Weren’t you supposed to have a girls night with Veronica or something?”
You froze, forcing the fries down your throat as you swallowed them.
“I was, but stuff came up. So I left.” you mumbled.
Jughead looked up at you at your change of tone and closed his laptop, giving you his full attention.
“Something happen?” he asked.
“Not really. Maybe. I don’t know. It’s kinda stupid.” you said.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.
You shook your head.
“Not particularly.” you said weakly.
Jughead nodded again.
“Fair enough,” he said as he sat back in his seat. “I know how it feels when someone pressures you into talking about something you’re not ready to talk about. So I’ll back off.”
You smiled at him.
“Thank you, Jughead. I appreciate it.”
Jughead smirked at you again.
“However… For the dance…” he began. “I do need to know where you live. I’d like to pick you up.”
The smile fell off your face.
“D-Do you?” you asked. “I mean… don’t people just meet each other there?”
“Not if they have dates they don’t.”
The smile came back to your face.
“So this’ll be a date, huh?” you joked.
Jughead blushed and looked down.
“If you want it to be.” he said shyly.
“Of course, Juggie,” you said.
He looked up at you again with that soft smile you loved so much. You took a deep breath.
“I guess I’ll tell you where I live then,” you began. “I’m staying at the—”
“Incoming.” Jughead interrupted, looking at something behind you.
“What?” you asked as you turned around.
Your eyes widened as you saw Veronica walking towards you, something in her hand.
“Y/N,” she began, eyes darting between you and Jughead nervously. “Um, here. It fell out of your pocket when you left Betty’s.”
She handed you the object and Jughead craned his neck to see what it was. You felt your breath leave your body as you realized what it was. It was the photo of Lily from when she was three months old.
“Great,” you croaked. “Thanks.”
You wanted to put the photo away as quickly as you could but you found yourself unable to stop staring at your daughter and her little smile. It had been four months since you had gotten that picture. You wondered how big she was now. What she could be doing. Could she sit up yet? Roll over? Crawl?
“What’s her name?” Veronica asked tentatively.
You looked up at her, ready to deny knowing anything about the baby in the picture but stopped once you saw her face. Veronica Lodge wasn’t dumb. She had put together all the pieces. She knew who Lily was.
“That’s none of your business.” you snapped as you got up, shoving the photo into your pocket.
“I said, it’s none of your business, Veronica!” you yelled as you exited your booth.
The diner quieted down and everyone looked at you. You turned around, ready to leave when you felt someone gently grab your arm. You stopped, looking back. Jughead looked up at you worriedly, his hand gently enclosed around your arm. Tears welled up in your eyes.
“Y/N…” he said softly.
You couldn’t take it. He had figured it out too. Lily may have had Kevin’s smile and hair color, but she looked exactly like you otherwise.
You quickly pulled your arm from Jughead’s grip, running out of Pop’s as fast as you could. Even with your lungs burning and your legs feeling like they would give out at any second, you continued to run, your chest heaving. After running for God knows how long, you came to a stop, falling to your knees. All the emotions that you had kept bottled up for the last few months hit you at full speed and you finally allowed yourself to cry. As you cried, you weren’t sure if you could stop. Or even if you wanted to.
A/N: Y’all know how I love my angst. :) Hope you liked it! Please send me feedback! Oh, and for anyone confused with dates, the reader was gone for eleven months in total (seven for the remainder of her pregnancy and four in order to get back in shape), and she’s been back for three. That makes Lily seven months old. Hope this clears up any confusion!
Summary: After a family meeting, the boys tease Tommy about marriage. Aunt Polly predicts he’ll find Mrs. Thomas Shelby soon.
Word Count: 2678
Warnings: Smut and cursing.
A/N: I honestly hope you guys enjoy this random idea that kept me up until 4 A.M.
The Shelby family remained lounging in the wager room after
a family meeting. You sat on the stairs below Ada, who was plaiting a braid
into your hair. You considered yourself fortunate that the family thought so
highly of you. You were neither related through blood nor marriage, but they’d
kept you close nonetheless.
Polly had been worried about the recent deals Tommy had been
making. She’d done some digging with the help of Ada and the Londoners could
not be trusted. You’d only mildly helped by pretending to be a flapper girl
interested in a couple of “businessmen”. You were entirely too good at
The family meeting turned into quips. John had begged the
point no one else could have gone undercover except for you because all the
other girls were married women; all except Ada, but John claimed she was still
a grieving widow.
Arthur took a stab at Tommy’s love life. He claimed he’d
never find a woman at the rate he was aging.
“It’s not his age,” Ada roused from the stairwell,” it’s his
Laughter bellowed from everyone but Tommy, who was eyeing
you with a look that didn’t forebode well with you. However, you’d never had
trouble staring danger in the face. A smile tugged at the corner of your mouth
and you turned your eyes away.
“Is it because you can’t get a girl off, Tommy?” John
prodded him. “Or is it too small?” He grabbed at his junk. Ada and you groaned.
Polly slapped John,” Shut it, John. Your brother will find a
wife in due time.” She glanced over at you, which caused you to look down at
the floorboards. “Won’t you?”
Tommy didn’t even flinch. Arthur piped up before Tommy could
reply,” She’s gotta have something no other woman has.”
“What, like three tits?” John leaned in. Esme seemed
unamused from her seat next to John. You couldn’t help but laugh. Laughs were
not in short supply around the family.
Hi! I saw your post about the flowers, I was wondering if you could do a brief explanation of the different personalities??
Hey there! Did you mean like the MBTI personalities? I’ll do my best!
ENTJ - Logical, decisive, strategic. Natural leaders. Probably your boss. Not always a dictator. See also: Bill Gates, Jim Carrey, Alexander Hamilton, Princess Leia (Star Wars)
INTJ - Theoretical, driven, systematic. Natural innovators. Probably your class valedictorian. Not always a nerd. See also: C.S. Lewis, Isaac Newton, Jane Austen, Bruce Wayne (Batman)
ESTJ - Analytical, efficient, straightforward. Natural organizers. Probably president of something. Not always a control freak. See also: Henry Ford, Michelle Obama, St. Paul, Frank Sinatra, Dwight Schrute (The Office)
ISTJ - Factual, thorough, steadfast. Natural problem solvers. Probably a math whiz. Not always antisocial. See also: Queen Elizabeth II, George Washington, Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)
ENFJ - Enthusiastic, loyal, sociable. Natural diplomats. Probably your mom. Not always psychic. See also: Martin Luther King Jr., Johnny Depp, Nelson Mandela, Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games)
INFJ - Insightful, compassionate, committed. Natural visionaries. Probably your fairy godmother. Not always impossibly rare. See also: Thomas Jefferson, Carrie Fisher, Adam Sandler, Atticus Finch (To Kill A Mockingbird)
ESFJ - Conscientious, sympathetic, responsive. Natural caregivers. Probably your teacher. Not always overly energetic. See also: Pope Francis, Andrew Carnegie, Anne Hathaway, Wendy Darling (Peter Pan)
ISFJ - Caring, practical, responsible. Natural nurturers. Probably the mom friend. Not always uber-traditional. See also: Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, Louisa May Alcott, Winnie the Pooh
ENTP - Clever, confident, outspoken. Natural questioners. Probably your local mad scientist. Not always a living meme. See also: Tom Hanks, Nikola Tesla, Alfred Hitchcock, Dr. Emmett Brown (Back to the Future)
INTP - Curious, speculative, original. Natural theorists. Probably extremely witty. Not always robotic/immune to feeling. See also: Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Meryl Streep, Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)
ESTP - Observant, spontaneous, energetic. Natural doers. Probably athletic. Not always midlessly active. See also: Eddie Murphy, Winston Churchill, Lucille Ball, Merida (Brave)
ISTP - Adventurous, independent, adaptable. Natural craftsmen. Probably a lone wolf. Not always apathetic. See also: Tom Cruise, Steve Jobs, James Dean, Han Solo (Star Wars)
ENFP - Expressive, imaginative, gregarious. Natural communicators. Probably the quirky nerd that everyone loves. Not always the physical embodiment of sunshine. See also: Dr. Seuss, Robin Williams, Mark Twain, Genie (Aladdin)
INFP - Empathetic, harmonious, sensitive. Natural idealists. Probably a dreamer and a bookworm. Not always crying over everything. See also: William Shakespeare, Mr. Rogers, Helen Keller, Kermit the Frog (The Muppets)
ESFP - Vivacious, playful, easygoing. Natural entertainers. Probably an actor, comedian, etc. Not always 24/7 partying. See also: Marylin Monroe, Elvis Presley, Pablo Picasso, Penny Hofstadter (The Big Bang Theory)
ISFP - Peaceful, understanding, realistic. Natural composers. Probably a nature lover. Not always an artist. See also: Paul McCartney, Princess Diana, Rihanna, Princess Buttercup (The Princess Bride)
Okay isn’t it weird though that the parents that went to school together and are the same age on Riverdale now have kids that are all in the same grade and are the same age as well like what’d y’all do fifteen years ago, swap ovulation cycle notes or something???
I’m finding it difficult to write something coherent about Olivier Assayas’ Personal Shopper, partially because the more I watch it, the more I’m convinced that I’m not meant to try; that its power lies in its complete lack of interest in being “coherent.” Just as a life, especially one thrown into grief-stricken chaos, only has the coherence that we arbitrarily apply to it, Personal Shopper is a series of strange and beguiling instances, full of un-explained oddities, horrors, and loose-ends. Instances that capture, better than any movie I’ve seen, that ephemeral feeling of existential entrapment; of being not stuck in place, but captive somehow. It’s a maddening, inexplicable, feeling, and that a film could dramatize it so well is deeply impressive.
Speaking of captivity, Kristen Stewart delivers a performance in Personal Shopper that is so unvarnished, so unencumbered, that one has a difficult time conceiving that it was delivered at all, and not just simply lived. Each time I revisit this film I find it more difficult to turn away. It’s only a matter of time before Americans accept what the French celebrated a few years back: the fact that Kristen Stewart is fucking terrific.
Anyway, I don’t know. Maybe everything I wrote above is rambling pablum. A bunch of nonsense my mind concocted by way of trying to intellectualize (or excuse) an instinctual love of a weirdo movie in which Kristen Stewart has a dramatic imessage conversation for twenty minutes and gets attacked by a Victorian ghost, which is just audacious and great. Is Personal Shopper a brilliant work by a genius and his genius muse? Is Personal Shopper bullshit?
Or is it just me?
(In Alphabetical Order)
Baby Driver (Edgar Wright)
The Big Sick (Michael Showalter)
Get Out (Jordan Peele)
A Ghost Story (David Lowery)
Lady Bird (Greta Gerwig)
Lady Macbeth (William Oldroyd)
Molly’s Game (Aaron Sorkin)
Thor: Ragnarok (Taika Waititi)
Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh)
Win It All (Joe Swanberg)
Anticipated 2017 Films Not Yet Seen: The Post (Update: I loved it!), Phantom Thread (Update: Favorite PTA since TWBB), The Florida Project, mother!, Good Time
MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2018
Annihilation (Alex Garland)
- Behind the camera: our premier sci-fi screenwriter. In front of the camera: Portman, Thompson, and Isaac. In the audience: me.
The Happytime Murders (Brian Henson)
- The director of two of the best Muppet movies making his first feature in 20 years is definitely something to be excited about.
E-Book (Olivier Assayas)
- Assayas has been so contemplative lately that we’ve forgotten that he’s also a total goddamn genre-mixing weirdo (see: Demonlover, Boarding Gate). Now he’s making a “full-blown comedy” with Juliette Binoche, one of his oldest collaborators, and I am here for it.
Underwater (William Eubank)
- My favorite subgenre + my favorite Kristen Stewart = a movie I will probably love regardless of objective quality.
How on earth did I not see Do the Right Thing until I was nearly 30? It’s almost unfathomable how colorful, funny, and heartbreaking Spike Lee’s 3rd film is. It has myriad memorable scenes and characters. It creates a sense of place in a way that is almost unparalleled in film history. It’s entertaining as hell. It also has a pulsating heart of essential humanity and righteous anger that vibrates at such an honest frequency as to make you feel literally connected to the screen as the narrative unfolds. Do the Right Thing shook me, and is one of those “as good or better than its out-sized reputation” films, alongside The Godfather and Casablanca.
Me, at the beginning of 2017: “I’ve never seen Twin Peaks, mostly because I’m worried I’ll hate it, I’m not really a David Lynch fan.” Me, in August of 2017: “HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT THE ZIG-ZAG FLOORS IN THE BLACK LODGE ARE THE SAME AS THE ZIG-ZAG FLOORS IN THE LOBBY OF ERASERHEAD’S APARTMENT BUILDING?! AND THERE’S A PHOTO OF A MUSHROOM CLOUD ON THE WALL?! IS IT ALL CONNECTED?!”
If I could retroactively make one of my 2017 resolutions be “do a total 180 on David Lynch and get super into Twin Peaks” then I would have accomplished something in this God-foresaken shit-ass year. I don’t know if it was age, or context, or what, but this year found my eyes suddenly opened to the genius of well-known genius David Lynch. I went from avoiding Twin Peaks for years to devouring and loving both of the original seasons. From “Mulholland Drive is weird and boring” to “Mulholland Drive is weird and a stone-cold modern masterpiece.” My former podcast co-host Darren Franich maintains that one needs to learn how to watch David Lynch, by watching David Lynch, and I couldn’t agree more. Watch just one of the elliptical missives that Lynch has released into our miasma and you will be left befuddled and possibly angry. Watch five and you’ll unlock the mysteries of the universe.
Hyperbole? Perhaps. Then again, did you see episode 8 of Twin Peaks: The Return?
It would have been so easy for Lynch and Frost to thrill Twin Peaks fans with The Return. After all, these are people (myself now included) who get goosebumps every time Kyle MacLachlan is so much as in the same room as a cup of coffee. Put a cherry pie on front of him and they (again, me now included) need to change their shorts. Instead, and, in retrospect, predictably, Lynch and Frost decided to use the eighteen hours Showtime gave them to thrill their audience in a different way: by creating an audio/visual experience the likes none of them had ever seen. Was it frustrating to wait nearly the entire season for our beloved Agent Cooper to return (if he does at all)? Yes. Were there storylines and characters that seemed meandering and pointless? Yes. Who the fuck is Freddie and why does he have a green glove hand? Yes. But none of that matters, because, for an entire summer, I rushed home on Sunday nights, needing to immerse myself in the wild juxtapositions of image and sound and performance that Lynch plucked out of the cosmos and so graciously delivered to us mere mortals, as soon as I possibly could.
When Cooper finally did come back, well, Lynch nailed that moment too (goosebumps! shorts-changing!), of course, because he’s just as good at giving you what you want as he is at giving you what you need. And nostalgia goosebumps are lovely and all, but it’s a testament to the success of Twin Peaks: The Return that the nostalgia goosebumps are not what I’ll remember. What I’ll remember is when Cooper (?) asks what year it is, Laura Palmer (?) screams, and the lights go out in Twin Peaks (?), and my skin basically tore apart at the seams.
Prompt from anon: Oh yay!!! Well then can I ask for a Kevin x Male!reader (obviously pfft) where the reader is Veronica’s brother who always showers Kevin with gifts but he always does it anonymously and leaves little hints until finally he tells Kevin he’s the secret admirer? I feel it’d be super cute and funny(because I bet Kevin would be irritated that he can’t figure out who it is)!!
A/N: This was fun to write! Hope you like it!
“There’s another one!” Kevin exclaimed as he grabbed the dolphin figurine from inside his locker. “That’s the fourth one this week!”
Veronica looked at you with a knowing smile on her face while you tried to keep as straight a face as possible. You had liked Kevin for ages now and he was completely oblivious. Veronica, however, was not. You were her little brother… Well… Not so little. You were nearly as tall as Archie. Despite that, you were only a freshman, about a year younger than your sister. She was fiercely protective of you and she knew everything about you.
For the last few days, you had been leaving crystal figurines of different animals with little notes on them in Kevin’s locker. You didn’t know how it began, it just… did.
Kevin opened the note taped to the dolphin and began to read it out loud.
“I’ve got a real affinity for you.” he read.
Veronica stifled a laugh at your clever pun and Kevin groaned, making you frown.
“D-Do you not like them?” you asked, trying to keep the worry out of your voice.
Kevin turned towards you.
“No, I love them!” he protested. “I’m just mad I can’t figure out who this “secret admirer” is! It’s driving me crazy!”
You bit back a smile.
“I see.” you answered.
Kevin rolled his eyes and looked down at the figurine in his hand again, smiling softly.
“I’ll tell you one thing though, when I find this person, whoever he is, I’m gonna kiss the daylights out of him.” the brunette boy announced.
Your eyes widened and Veronica nudged you. She gave you a look that screamed, “This is your chance!”
“It’s me!” you blurted out.
Kevin looked up at you, eyes wide.
“You?” he asked.
You blushed and looked down.
“Well, I’m gonna leave you two lovebirds alone now,” Veronica announced. “I’ll see you boys at lunch!”
With that, she walked off, giving you two thumbs up in the process.
You looked at Kevin again.
“You’re the one that’s been leaving me all these presents?” he asked.
You nodded and turned your gaze back down to the floor.
“Why?” he asked.
You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you as you looked down at the smaller boy again.
“Because I like you, Kevin!” you exclaimed. “Why else?”
Kevin looked dumbfounded and you were beginning to feel like this was a bad idea.
“I-I won’t leave you any more presents, okay?” you nearly whispered. “I just… I don’t even know.”
You shoved your hands in your jean pockets and began to walk away, ignoring the tears making their way into your eyes.
You stopped when you felt Kevin grab your arm. You turned around and the boy cupped your cheeks and pressed his lips to yours. Your eyes widened before you melted into the kiss, your arms going to wrap around the smaller boy (who was standing on his tippy toes’s) waist. When the two of you pulled away for air, Kevin looked up at you with a smirk on his face.
“I think Veronica can wait to hear about our newfound relationship, don’t you think?” Kevin asked.
Am I the only one who was really freaked out when Mrs Blossom grabbed Archie’s face at the funeral? Like the only feature that Archie and Jason have in common is red hair. She might as well have said that to Ron Weasley.