Imagine being Mr. J’s girlfriend and trying to give one of the guard dogs a bath

(Idk I would just think he has a guarddog)

Originally posted by pretty-dead-dog

Y/n looked at the two sweet yet vicious dobermans sniffing her to make sure she wasn’t an imposter or a threat to Mr. J. “Frosty?” Y/n looked over at the statue-like guard next to her. “Yes, Y/N?” “When the last time that Smiley and Chuckles had a bath?” She noticed the look of confusion on Frosts face and made her mind. “That’s it! I’m giving them a bath!” 

Time Skip

Mr. J growled at the disappearance of his dogs and his puppy-loving Y/n. “Where are they?” He was answered by the dogs running out covered in bubbles and soaking wet and a towel-wrapped, squealing Y/N. “Come back! You’re still wet!” Y/n skid to halt in front of Mr. J. He smiled at her wet form and wrapped a arm around her waist and yanked her flush against him. “Oh hi J~” She twirled a wet a strand of hair, giving him puppy dog eyes. “Oh hello my sweet devious girl~ care to join me for a bath?” He cackled while she blushed.

Originally posted by there-and-always-back-again

I miss her [Part 15/...]

Originally posted by bovaria

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader
Words: 1123
Warning: reader is crying. Bucky is a caring bf!

Summary: Bucky and [Y/N] found themselves in the 21st century, the only problem - [Y/N] doesn’t know that Bucky is still alive and that he tries to find a way to get back into her life.


Two weeks later.

It’s been tough for [Y/N]. When she found out that she was a former assassin, the world began to stop turning. Nothing made sense anymore but Bucky was there to help her. To ease the pain [Y/N] felt when she thought about all the people she killed many years ago. The others were trying to make everything as comfortable as they could. First Tony suggested [Y/N] should stay at home when the other would go on missions but she insisted to go with them even though Bucky didn’t like the idea. He wanted [Y/N] to be safe so nothing would happen to her.

There were people looking for them. Some who wanted them dead or wanted to control them like HYDRA did once. Nemesis knew that the Winter Soldier and Silver could kill the Avengers. At least they thought so.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to go on a mission?” Bucky followed [Y/N] through the bedroom like a lost puppy when she was looking for her gear. Normally [Y/N] wore a suit similar to Natasha’s but it was navy blue. A holster was strapped to her thigh where she plugged her knife in. On her hips she normally wore a belt with two of her guns strapped to it.

“Yes, I think it is but I also know that you don’t like this idea” [Y/N] turned around to Bucky who looked down at her and pouted “Honey, you should stay here. With me. I know you don’t think so but…I don’t think you’re ready to go on a mission. What if these Nemesis guys are waiting for you? Anything could happen and I don’t want you to get kidnap or worse, doll”

“Then come with us and protect me if you’re afraid that something could happen to me” [Y/N] smiled softly and put her hands in the front pocket of his hoodie.

Bucky sighed and closed his eyes as he rested his forehead on hers “Oh doll, you’re killing me. Fine, I’ll go with you. Just let me get my gear and then we go down to the others. Come on”

He gave [Y/N] a quick peck on the lips and smiled before Bucky went to their wardrobe where they kept their gear. It took them less then ten minutes to get ready and so the couple took the elevator to the second floor where the others where already waiting in the common room.

“Wait, Mr and Mrs Frosty are coming with us?” Sam asked as they came in and sat down on the couch “Bucky decided to come with us because I wanted to go as well” [Y/N] smiled at the others who looked at each other. Tony scratched his neck and closed his eyes before he spoke up “[Y/N], do you think it’s-”

“A good idea? Yeah, I think it is. I had the same conversation with Bucky and he didn’t want it as well but I convinced him and now we want to go on the mission” [Y/N] folded her arms in front of her chest and gave Tony a serious look. Hardly audible the scientist sighed “When something happens, don’t get angry. We warned you two”

Pleased [Y/N] smiled and took Bucky’s hand as she stood up and pulled him with her to the jet that was waiting outside for the others. Steve gave Tony a worried look before he followed his friends outside.

“Keep an eye on them” Tony looked back to Natasha who nodded “Sure. But I think they’re old enough to protect themselves. I mean they’re a few years older than us” The assassin winked at him and left grinning.

The jet was packed with the whole team. Bruce would stay behind like always. Only when it would be to dangerous, the others would call for him. Since Sokovia, it never happened again.

Bucky watched [Y/N] as she stored her stuff next to his and sat down in one of the chairs which where on the sides of the jet. She looked up at him “Stop being so worried. Nothing will happen. And if anyone tries to step out of the line, he will get frozen”

“Frozen?” Bucky’s eyes went wide when he saw the little blue flame that came out of [Y/N]’s hand. Steve noticed his best friend’s amazement and his gaze went back to [Y/N] who smiled “You never told him? [Y/N] got those powers when Stark did experiments on her while I was frozen and you were…you know…I thought, you had already told him all that stuff”

“No I didn’t” [Y/N] mumbled and looked down in her lap when Bucky squatted down and lifted her chin with his hand “I thought we would tell each other everything. Why did you let Howard do those things to you? You could have died, sweetheart. You should be more careful with your life. There are people who care, you know? Even if you don’t know that”

“But you weren’t there. And neither was Steve. You left me alone. Do you know how often I laid in my bed and wished that I was dead so I could be with you. I went through every possible scenario in my head and thought about what could have happened. They only told me that you were killed while you were on a mission but no one ever told me what happened. If you got killed by someone or were dead because of an accident…They said nothing, Bucky” Tears were streaming down her cheeks when she told him about her old life. How painful it was.

The rest of the team backed away so the couple could have some privacy even though the jet wasn’t that huge.

“I’m sorry” Bucky closed his eyes before he pulled her in for a hug and held her close to his chest while he whispered to her softly “I never wanted to leave you, doll. You were my only reason to come back home. And now we got another chance and we should be careful so we don’t lose each other again. So please, promise me that you will stay by my side on the whole mission, no matter what. Can you do this for me?”

He noticed how [Y/N] nodded and smiled as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead “I love you so much, doll. I will never let you go. We belong together, right?”

“You won’t get rid of me, believe me, honey” [Y/N] smiled when she pulled away and wiped her tears from her cheeks. He chuckled “Good because I still need this girl here”

The pain was forgotten for these few minutes but the whole team didn’t know what was waiting for them.

Some feedback please!

Taglist: @spnimpalaimagines @caitlynmcneill @smol-flower-kiddo @leinastone @gingerbatchwife @ok-ladies-lets-get-in-formation @alltheprettyroyals @darksideoftheilluminati @marrvelle @prostheticsoldier @they-are-not-just-stories@frxdweaslxy @littlenerdgirl16

Crossing lines (Curtis gang x reader) (outsiders x grease) (Oneshot)

Fandom(s): Grease x The Outsiders crossover
Warnings: takes place before the death of Bob and right after Dally gets out, sorry if this is long or hard to follow, angst reader, not edited
Author: Mare
Summary: Your brother is Danny Zuko, the leader of the T-Birds, and a senior at your new school. You are a Freshman and try your best to stay out of trouble(knowing your brother’s and his gang’s track record). You meet a boy by the name of Ponyboy Curtis and befriend him. You meet his brothers and their gang. One day at a rumble your brother discovers your affiliation with the Curtis boys and you’re afraid how they will react.
Word Count:1047

Rydell High

      This is your first day and you’re a bit nervous. I mean who wouldn’t be, but you had good reason. Your brother, Danny Zuko, has quite the reputation and that can be a problem if you’re trying to make friends or get along with teachers and staff (except for Mrs.Murdock, who got along with your brother very well. He considered her his favorite teacher). You went into that place only knowing the T-Birds and the Pink Ladies and boy were you scared about it.

  “Zuko, Oh goodness not again!” you hear during homeroom attendence.

“Here” you practically jumped out of your seat so the teacher could see you weren’t your brother. The teacher looked over to see you, a girl with (a) (Y/H/C) braid(s) and converse and was relieved to see a seemingly harmless girl. You sat in your seat feeling accomplished and thought ‘This is gonna be a great school year.’

     You were walking down the hall when you saw the T-Birds walking down the hall in your direction. You were hoping that they didn’t see you and you turn and start to go another direction when you hear a “ Mini Zuko, where’re you goin?” You turn around to face the voice and you see Kenicke with his annoying grin. You simply say “To class.” and keep going. 

*Time skip* after school

         You were ecstatic you finally made it through the day, but most importantly to you you made friends(who you refused to tell your last name to). Their names are Ponyboy Curtis (who is you lab partner), Johnny Cade (who you accidentally fell on) and Two-bit Matthews (who sat next to you at lunch and wouldn’t be quiet until you two “became friends”). You were most excited because they asked you to hang out after school with them at the Dingo and meet the rest of the gang. You agreed but told them not immediately after school, you had to meet up with your brother at the Frosty Palace.

*Time skip* The Frosty Palace

    You walk in and see your brother and his friends sitting at a table eating and stuff. You wanted to make this go as fast and as smooth as possible so you say “Make it quick, I got plans after this.” When you said this you surprised all of them even the Pink Ladies came over from another table in shock. “Don’t be all surprised! You guys act like I don’t have a social life.” you say in your defense.

“That’s cuz you don’t” Kenicke says. You just roll your eyes and ignore him. You make a shooing motion towards your brother who is in a booth and he gets up for you to sit down. The moment you sit down the T-Birds and Pink Ladies are asking you all sorts of questions. ‘Who are the plans with?’ ‘Are they a boy?’ ‘Are they Socs?’ You just sit there silently and look at the clock and without a word get up and walk out.

*Time skip* The Dingo 

       You walk in and hear a “Y/N, over here.” it was Johnny. You walk over and introduce yourself (first name only of course) and begin to engage in deep conversation with each of them to find out you all have something in common. You guys start to all bond and hangout more. Your brother, Danny, starts to wonder why you aren’t hanging out with the gang anymore and every time he asks you seamlessly change the subject. You weren’t embarrassed by your friends or by your brother and his friends, you just didn’t want to start any trouble. The T-Birds are very territorial and are not afraid to pick a fight with anyone. The Curtis gang was territorial too, but more so towards Socs. Unbeknownst to you the T-Birds and the Curtises had decided to team up against the Scorpions and the Socs (who had gone all buddy buddy to each other) and they all planned a rumble.

*time skip* The Rumble

Originally posted by blykd

Your brother had asked (not really asked, he told you and forced you out the house) you to come to the rumble. The Pink Ladies came also (even Sandy). It’s time for the rumble and your all are in the lot waiting. Out of nowhere you hear a familiar whoop. ‘OH GOSH’ you thought ‘Steve’. You tried to play it off and sort of succeeded but Rizzo noticed and pulled you off to the side. “What gives Jellybean?” she asks (using the nickname she gave you) “You know that voice, don’t you?” You had never been able to not tell the truth without being caught especially when talking to Rizzo. So you gave in “Yea, its Steve.” 

“Hey Y/N.“ you hear Pony’s voice say.

“Y/N, you know the T-Birds?“ Steve says.

“I think you have explaining to do Y/N“ you heard your brother say and knowing your little charade was over.

“Ok, guys I guess I haven’t been completely honest with any of you. Guys(turning to the Curtis gang) my full name is Y/N Zuko and Danny is my big brother.“ you say and turn to the T-Birds “And you guys were wonderin’ where i’ve been runnin’ off to. It’s to hang out with them. I didn’t say anything to either of you guys cuz i didn’t want to start any trouble.“ They just stand there staring at you. this goes on for a while until you get annoyed. “WILL SOMEBODY JUST SAY SOMETHING“ you yell becoming frantic.

Then you hear your brother say “(GIF above)”

“WHAT?!?!“ you yell. 

“It’s cool, baby girl no sweat.“ you hear Two say

You gave a sigh of relief to see that they were both so understanding and at ease with it all. “How you doin’ Zuke” you hear Cha Cha Di Gregorio’s annoying accented voice say. You roll your eyes and before you know it the rumble had started.

By the time it finished you knew you would have to patch up both gangs, but you didn’t mind. Because they were your family no matter how aggravating they could both be. And much to your surprise they got along fairly well and you loved that. Boy, this really was gonna be a good year!

The End.

“No Better Love” Part 5

uSummary: YN arrived in London aboard Tony’s private jet. She’s on a mission to talk to Bucky’s doctor and finally see him.

Pairing: Bucky x Wife (Reader)

Warnings: Major Angst!!!

Word Count: 1,282

Upon arrival at the hospital, (Y/N) was greeted with hugs and words of encouragement from Sam and Rhodey.

“Thanks fellas. I’ve missed you.” Sam chimed in, “we missed you too.” Bruce and Tony were engaged in a deep conversation; probably about science or something. Judging by the exhausted expression on their faces, no one had much sleep.

“Heeey. Look who it is? Popsicle’s wife, Mrs. Frosty!!” (Y/N) shook her head and greeted Tony with open arms and a smile. “Will you ever call us by our names?? “Hell no. Why would I? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” ”Missed you too, Tin Can.” She’d grown accustomed to his witty banter. At the moment, it was a welcome distraction.

“Thank you so much Tony for flying me here and everything you’re doing for Bucky. It means the world to me.”

Tony speaking matter-of-factly, “pfft, don’t worry about it. I’ll make him work off the debt after he’s recovered.”

The rest of the Avengers took the quinjet to the Tower. Sam, Rhodey, and Tony opted to wait until YN arrived before leaving. Steve made it plain under no circumstances would he leave until Bucky was out of the words.

“Listen YN. There’s an apartment near here for you and Steve to stay close to Bucky. Here’s the address and keys.” Tony embraced her tightly. She became overwhelmed by his sincere generosity. YN started to speak but Tony waved her off. “Don’t. It’s fine. I love you too. The doctors have my number. Don’t worry about anything but Buckaroo. He really needs you.”

And with that, he turned on his heels and left you with Steve and Dr. Hanson.

Keep reading

VMHQ Character Week: Mom’s Edition

Jeff Ratner, here.  Employee of the Neptune Grand, and all around seeker-of-truth.  I will NOT be your VMHQ Character of the Week - Lord knows, I have enough to do trying to retrieve salt shakers from the Penthouse suite - but when I overheard the librarians talking about dedicating the week to the mothers of Neptune, I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.  

Here’s a warning for VMHQ - DON’T DO IT!  

We, at the Neptune Grand are still skimming pearls and Percocets from the pool after this morning's…debacle.   

If the editors of the Neptune Register had bothered to ask me, I could have warned them that bringing together Lianne Mars, Celeste Kane, Lynn Echolls, and Alicia Fennel for their annual Mothers Day Issue was a recipe for disaster.  

But of course they didn’t.  All they see when they look at me is a lowly bellhop. Unwise, on their part. 

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men (or in this case, women)? JEFF RATNER knows.

Some of us don’t have trust funds, so I signed-up for overtime to help pay my college tuition.  Just my luck, they assigned me to pour drinks and buss tables on the hotel restaurant’s patio.  

To put it nicely, these women are real pieces of work.

Allow me to offer you a small glimpse of what I had to deal with as I refilled their Bellinis (over and over again):

Lianne Mars:  What do you mean, I’m not the Character of the Week for Mother’s Day?  

Celeste Kane: The librarians mentioned some drivel about comparing and contrasting the mothers of Neptune.  Personally, I don’t think I should have to share.  I was in more episodes than the rest of you.  I was in the movie!

LM:  As the woman who raised and shaped the moral character of Veronica Mars, shouldn’t I get top billing?  The show isn’t titled, ‘Duncan Kane’, after all.

CK: Clearly, from the overall lack of breeding and manners.    

Alicia Fennel:  Honestly, do you guys really think you’re entitled to be featured for Mother’s Day? That might require you do some…I don’t, know, mothering?  

CK:  I’m an excellent mother.  Duncan’s many accomplishments are proof of that.  And shouldn’t you be nicer to me?  My husband signs your paychecks.  

LM:  I may not have always done the best by Veronica, but I’m her real mother, and she knows I love her.

Has-been B-Lister, Lynn Echolls beckoned me over,  waving her hand haughtily at a tray of appetizers.  

Lynn Echolls: Excuse me!  How many carbs are in these?  Swimsuit season is just around the corner.  Also, I need a refill.  

Kindly, I refrained from pointing out the carbs in her sugary cocktail, and what do I look like? Nutritionist on call?

I was saved from having to answer by the sudden appearance of Rose Manning on the patio. She didn’t stay long.  Catching sight of the other women, she hissed “Fornicators!” turned on her heel and departed.

CK:  Well, that was uncalled for.  

LE:  Somebody isn’t getting any at home.  

LM: Deborah Hauser’s hairdresser’s sister goes to the Manning’s church, and apparently, they’re sleeping in twin beds these days.  

CK:  I have to wonder what she’s doing at a hotel in the middle of the day.  

In a rare moment of solidarity, the women toasted Mrs. Manning, tipped back their glasses, and returned to their squabbling.  

 LE:  Logan is my pride and joy, and–

 AF:  And what a fine example you’ve set.  He organized Bum Fights.

 LE:  He’s just spirited.  And anyway, kids misbehave.  

 CK:  Speak for yourself.  Duncan is a model child.

 AF: Misbehave?  Yes.  Getting charged with murder repeatedly?  No.  

 LE:  Model child?  Duncan was also suspected of murder.  

 LM: Suspected?  He contracted a hit.  Not to mention, you know, kidnapping.  

 CK: There’s no proof, and if you make one more slanderous accusation like that, I’ll sue.

Allow me to break from this accounting to remind you, the followers of VMHQ, that the word 'allegedly’ works wonders in avoiding frivolous lawsuits.  

So go ahead, analyze away.  In fact, I look forward to reading your meta and head-canons about the Hot Messes Mothers of Neptune.  

AF:  Of course, certain things would become public record if you went the legal route.  The press doesn’t care about the results, as long as they can air the dirty laundry.  

CK: You’re one to give mothering advice.

LM:  Yeah, wasn’t Waldo suspected of a hit-and-run? Guess my husband’s good influence didn’t rub off on him.

AF:  Are you really going there?  My son’s name is WALLACE, and he was innocent.  

LM:  Didn’t I say Wallace?

CK:  Sure you did.  Have another drink while you’re at it.

You know who needs a drink after all of this?  This guy.  

You know who doesn’t?  Lianne Mars.  I got a peek inside her handbag while I was refilling her glass, and let’s just say, it contains the entire mini-bar contents of room 188, as well as the key card.  

In fact, didn’t I see Mr. Kane heading up to that room last night?  

 LE:  Logan was innocent, too, you know.  Every single time!  

 AE:  You mean the kid who was bashing a car with a tire iron the first time Wallace met him?  

 LE (sniffing):  Don’t pretend to be some paragon of motherhood.  Didn’t you lie to your son?  Telling him for an entire decade that his father was dead?

 AF:  I did that in the name of protecting him.  Maybe you should take a page from my book and try it yourself sometime?

At this point, I escaped for a quick smoke break.  I don’t actually smoke, but I considered taking up the habit.  Or cyanide.

When I returned, the women were still going at it.

CK: Well, at least Duncan is smart. Your son is only getting into college because he can dribble.  

AF (shrugging):  Mine dribbles.  Yours drools. What can you do?

LM:  She’s not wrong.  Have you considered getting him checked out?  You know, medically?

Originally posted by wyatted

CK:  HOW DARE YOU!  Where was this concern when you allowed Veronica to date him for a year, knowing they could be siblings?  One mistake, and imagine the children they could’ve produced.  If I hadn’t intervened, of course.

LM: Intervened by telling Duncan the truth? Or by having my daughter followed, and mailing me threatening photos?  

CK:  I do what’s necessary to protect my family, no matter how unpleasant. You, on the other hand, abandoned your daughter at the first sign of hardship.  

LM:  Well, at least I didn’t ice down her corpse.  

Even the frosty Mrs. Kane has a breaking point, and this, apparently, was it. She grabbed the nearest object, which happened to be Lynn Echolls’ giant statement bag, and began swinging it at Lianne Mars.  

Ms. Mars knocked back her chair and stood. She lifted her arms to protect herself, but was forced to retreat.  Celeste Kane beat back her rival, and Lynn Echolls trailed after them, gathering her possessions and whining.   

LE:  My Prada flask!  
LE:  My wallet!
LE:  My Blackberry!

Backed up against the pool, Lianne Mars attempted to fight back, but she was no match for the enraged Mrs. Kane.  

I’m sure you can predict what happened next.  

Just as Lynn Echolls was trying to wrench her handbag from the hands of Celeste Kane, Lianne Mars lost her balance.  She grabbed for the first thing available (Mrs. Kane’s pearl necklace, for the curious).  

Three obnoxious women hit the water with a SPLASH. Moments later, they surfaced, sputtering and shrieking.


Alicia Fennel materialized at my side, speaking the words of my heart.

 AF: Couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch.

She shook her head in disgust, then handed me her glass, toed off her shoes, and ran towards the water yelling “CANNONBALL!" 

Right about then, was when the photographers from the Neptune Register arrived, followed by half the sheriff’s department.  

So anyway, if you’re still here, Mothers of Neptune week runs from May 15th through May 21st.    Post your gifs, your fanart, your fanvids.  Post your meta - about a single character, all of the characters, comparing/contrasting, nature vs. nurture, you get the idea.   

This is your opportunity to tell the world who these women really are - not just the shiny packages they present to the world.  Don’t let me down!  

Oswald forming a deep bond with Mr. Freeze and mr. frosty is super flattered that penguin trusts him enough (mentally and physically) to visit the South Pole.

Like on a list of people Oswald forms a bond with its like:
1. Ed (???)
2. Victor
3. Jim (ah yes, Oswald’s first infatuation)

I need you - Joker

“Come on, doll. You’re making me late”

He watched from the doorway as you tightened the screws of the new diamond earring’s J stole for you.

“Well, baby, a girls got to be fashionably late”

You smoothed out the short dress and put your favourite gun in your clutch. J looked at you with a smile, showing his silver caps as he held out his arm. You looped yours through it and the two of you walked down to the driveway.

“What car you feelin’ tonight baby?”

“I want that one,” You said pointing to the Lambo.

Frosty handed the keys to J and you sauntered  over to the driver’s side.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“What does it look like? I’m driving, baby”

“Oh no, you’re not. Now be a good girl and come sit on the other side.”

You stayed standing by the driver side and J stalked towards you.

“If you behave tonight, daddy will consider letting you drive home. But right now, I’m going to drive. So sit your pretty little ass over in the passenger side before I get angry. And you don’t want to see me angry do you, Dollface?”

You shook your head and took your seat on the passenger side. J sat next to you on the driver’s side and started the car.

The Joker had no regard for rules. He drove like a maniac. He went through lanes, ran red lights and speeded. He parked up in his designated stop outside the club as one of his henchmen went to open your door. J held out his hand for you to use to get out and led you into the club. 

The club was lively. people were dancing on the dance floor and a steady stream of drinks were leaving the bar. The two of you went into the private VIP section and J took a seat on the leather sofa as you stood dancing to the song that just started.

“Come sit down, kitten. We’ve got company” J said patting his lap

You huffed as you sat down on his lap.

“I want that song back on as soon as we’re done”

“Anything for you”

A few moments later a tall man was escorted in by Frosty.

“Mr Joker”

“I would get up to shake your hand but when something as sexy as this is sitting in your lap you don’t disturb it.”

You fake giggled at his comment. A bit pissed off that he was referring to you as an ‘it’.

“So you want me and my boys to protect you and your business.”

The sweaty man nodded as the Joker gave him his maniacal smile.

“How do I know that you won’t sell me out?”

“Do I look like I have a death wish?

The two continued to talk business as you zoned out, only responding when your name was mentioned.

“I just have one thing. A pal of mine got arrested because of the clean up.Can I guarantee that you’ll clean up properly for me?”

You felt J’s body tense under you. One hand  snaked around his neck in an attempt to calm him down while another went into your purse and flipped off the safety. You pulled the gun out and pointed it at his arm.

“Mistah J doesn’t like to leave any trace of him being there except his card. Nothing left unless it needs to be. You don’t deserve to live after that insult.”

“Let’s not go too far, why don’t you hurt him.”

“Just a little bit?” you asked putting your fingers an inch or so apart. J nodded and you fired your gun into his arm.

He laughed out loud causing the club to quieten as the man groaned out in pain. He captured your lips with his, kissing you roughly not caring that his henchmen were dealing with his injured business partner.

“Daddy has a present in store for you, kitten.”

You smiled again and settled yourself against his chest.

“J?” You asked after a few moments.

He hummed.

“I saw this bag I really liked. Can we go and get it.”

“I told you, Kitten, anything”

He beckoned for one of his minions to come and whispered and instruction in his ear. A few moments later, the song that you were dancing to started again. You got up off J’s lap and began to dance. Your hips moved in time to the beat of the song as you had the time of your life. Once the song was over you sat back down next to J. He handed you a drink which you quickly gulped down.

The Joker sat back in his seat looking like he was in deep thought. You ran your fingers through his green hair.

“A penny for your thoughts”

“Don’t worry. Now let’s have some real fun”

J downed his drink as he pulled you up off the sofa and back into his Lambo. He threw you the keys and you slid into the driver’s seat.

“Don’t crash this baby”

You rolled your eyes and turned the key in the ignition. The car roared to life and you drove out of the parking lot. Half way through your joyride a certain annoying rodent ruined your night.

“You gonna teach the bat a lesson?”

“You know it”

You let go of the steering wheel and let J take over as you slipped through the sunroof. You supported yourself with your arms and kicked off your heels

“Hey Batsy”


“Where’s the fun in that?

You felt J sharply turn into the next lane to overtake a car and nearly made you fall but you kept your footing.

“I’ve got you a surprise, doll face” You heard J say, cackling. 

He handed you a gun.

“Aim for his tyres.”

“I’d love to stay and chat, Mr Wayne, but Mistah J and I are going to be late for the next part of our date.”

You shot his two front wheels hoping that the bullets would puncture his reinforced tyres. Surprisingly they did and you ducked back into the car. J was sitting in the driver’s seat and him promised you that he would let you drive. You pulled one hand off the steering wheel and sat in his lap with your feet over the centre console.

“You said you were going to let me drive, Mistah J”

“You were dealing with the Bat, kitten”

“Seems like you have some making up to do tonight.”

J drove even faster, if that was possible, and picked you up, taking you straight to the bedroom to have his wicked way with you. 

You woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a note on J’s pillow. In Joker fashion it was written on a playing card and said 


Dealing with business today. Transferred you some money. Go buy me something to rip off you.


To most people, this sounded like something normal. A boyfriend asking his girlfriend to get some underwear. Only he didn’t call you ‘kitten’ or ‘doll’ or ‘dollface’ or any other nickname, he called you by your first name, which he only did if he was really really horny or if you had pissed him off and he was close to shooting your brains out. If it was the first reason then the note would have gone a different way, J would have been on top of you most probably, but it couldn’t be the second reason because if you pissed him off, you would have known by now. Either way, you spent most of the day shopping and you returned pretty late at night.

You expected J to be waiting by the door with a weapon in his hand demanding to know where  his doll was, but to your surprise frosty was on patrol. You walked past him and into your bedroom. J’s clothes were in the laundry basket and you could see the sleeping form of a man on your side of the bed. This was odd for J, he never went to sleep without knowing where you were and you hadn’t received any texts from him during the entire day. There was a cup on the bedside table with a trace of white powder at the bottom. A packet of sleeping pills sat beside it. You didn’t understand why he would need sleeping pills. If he was ill he would have already complained about it and if he was having nightmares you would have known about it. You tried to wake him but it looked like the pills were doing their jobs and you went to sleep, making a mental note to confront him in the morning. 

The next couple days after went like that too. J would leave way before you woke up and came home way after you were asleep. Maybe he didn’t even come home you weren’t sure. All you knew was it was like your boyfriend had gone M.I.A. You had come home after grocery shopping and the house was eerily silent. You took the shopping bags into the kitchen and heard shuffling and then J’s laugh.

“J? Are you home?” You called out.

He didn’t respond so you looked further. You walked into the living room to see J lying on the floor, surrounded by his knives and guns with him straight in the centre.

“Here she is, Y/N Y/L/N,” He said, getting up.

“Where have you been, J? I’ve been worried sick”

“No, no, no. You don’t worry about me, princess. No one does. No one should”

“What are you talking about? Of course, I should worry about you. I’m your girlfriend, I love you. I have to be worried about you”

“But you shouldn’t. I’m the Joker. incapable of love. Incapable of nurture. incapable of redemption. I am a broken man, Y/N”

“J, you don’t make any sense. Let me feel your head”

You took a step forward and he stepped back, putting a gun between the two of you.”

“I should kill you right here. You make me vulnerable. you make me weak.”


“It started as an obsession. I craved you. I craved your plump lips and your soft hands. And then I needed you. You were like my oxygen tank. I crave and I need all of you. When I’m with you, the voices are quiet. They don’t shout. they don’t scream or cry. You keep me sane, doll, you make me need you by my side.”

“Jack, baby, put the gun down.”

“I crave you, Y/N. I obsess over you, I need you. I want you. But you leave me vulnerable. You leave me open to the bat. All he has to do is pluck you like a feather and I’m done. This is why-”

He undid the safety of the gun and you heard the click of a bullet loading into the barrel.

“I need to get rid of you”

“J, you don’t need to do this. Put the gun down and talk to me, baby.”

“I already have, kitten.”

“Jack put the fucking gun on the floor”

“Stop calling me that” He roared.

“That man is dead. I’m the Joker now.”

“Then ‘Joker’ put the gun down and talk to your woman like a real man.”

He faltered for a second and that was all you needed to quickly run and pull the gun from his hand and throw it to the other side of the room. He stepped back putting some more distance between the two of you.  You didn’t relish in the fact that you were one of the only people who disarmed the Joker, in fact, it was the opposite. He let you get the gun from him. No matter who you were, he wasn’t just going to let you take the weapon from his hands.

“You got the gun from me. I have all of the others right next to me. What makes you think that I won’t use them.”

“Because you said it yourself. You need me” You took a small step forward.

“You need me to keep the voices at bay. You need me to come home to. You need me hide behind you, depend on you for my protection. You need my love, J”

You moved close enough to be right in front of him. You placed either hand on his cheeks.

“You need me to be the one that sees you without the lipstick and the fancy clothes. You need me to be Y/N. The girl that sassed you in the bank. The girl that called you a dickweed when you crept up on her. The girl who called you a highlighter at Wayne’s party. The girl that you taught how to shoot her first gun. The girl that saw you for you. You don’t need to be scared, J.”

You stared into his blue eyes and his hands soon found themselves entangled in your hair as he kissed you. He pulled away a few moments later, his red lipstick smeared. His hand travelled down to your neck and he squeezed.

“No one finds out about this. This stays between me and you.”

You nodded, your eyes watering slightly and he released your neck before throwing you over his shoulder and took you to the bedroom. Wordlessly he stripped down to his boxers and you followed suit, unclasping your bra and about to pull down your knickers when his hand stopped you. He straightened your arms upwards and put his shirt over them.

“Not tonight, kitten. Daddy just wants to sleep.”

You nodded and smiled at this newly affectionate man. You walked over to your side of the bed and got under the covers. J followed suit and held you and rubbed your head.

“I love you, J”

“I know, princess”

You helped J fall into a blissful sleep, knowing that you weren’t going to get him sent back to Arkham. He knew that you could defend yourself. You wouldn’t let yourself get caught by the Bat and neither would he.

shoutout to @paradiqe because the post you wrote on the joker and emotions really helped me write this and stay true(ish because I’m 100% sure he wouldn’t deny having sex but I wanted to end it full of fluff) to the character. Thank you!

anonymous asked:

Do you find Victor Fries attractive?

 “ Well.. As far as walking Popsicle’s go, I suppose he is quite a looker- but… He’s a married man. Even though Mrs. Frosty melted, that hasn’t changed how he feels about her. ”  

Kind   of amusing if you ask him. Well, not the fact his wife was dead.. Just the horrible irony of it. She was a puddle and he was an ice block. How awkward.