I mean in England we have a Queen for fuck’s sake. A Queen! We have to call her things like “Your Majesty” YOUR MAJESTY! Like she’s all majestic, like an eagle or a mountain. She’s just a person. A little old lady in a shiny hat – that we paid for. Or “Your Highness”! What the fuck is that?! What, she’s high up, above us, at the top of a class pyramid on a shelf of money with her own face on it. We should be calling her Mrs Windsor. In fact, that’s not even her real name, they changed it in the war to distract us from the inconvenient fact that they were as German as the enemy that teenage boys were being encouraged, conscripted actually, to die fighting. Her actual name is Mrs Saxe-Coburg-Gotha
The best friend and cousin of the Queen, Margaret Rhodes has died aged 91, Buckingham Palace confirmed today.
Mrs Rhodes passed away on Friday night following a short illness. It is believed that the Queen had visited her regularly over the past few weeks.
Buckingham Palace has said it will not be issuing a statement because it is a private matter, although the Queen has sent her condolences to the family.
An insider told the Sunday Express: “The Queen will be devastated to have lost her best friend. She grew up with Mrs Rhodes and they had so much shared history. They remained close throughout the Queen’s reign and Her Majesty continued to be a regular visitor at Mrs Rhodes’s Windsor home until very recently.”
“One of the disadvantages of the Queen having such a long life is that she has had to say goodbye to so many dear friends and relatives.”
“It is such a sad loss for Her Majesty, Mrs Rhodes’s family and everyone in the royal household. She was an extraordinary woman.”
Born Margaret Elphinstone, Mrs Rhodes was the youngest daughter of Sidney Elphinstone, the 16th Lord Elphinstone and his wife Lady Mary Bowes-Lyon - sister to the late Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother.
The Queen and Mrs Rhodes have been close friends since childhood and were only 10 months apart in age. They spent regular holidays together growing up and during the Second World War Mrs Rhodes lived alongside the Royal Family at Buckingham Palace and Windsor Castle, when she studied at secretarial school and then worked as a secretary for MI6.
In 1947 Mrs Rhodes was one of eight bridesmaids at the future Queen’s wedding to Lt Philip Mountbatten, now the Duke of Edinburgh.
She married the writer Denys Gravenor Rhodes in 1950, with Princess Margaret as one of the bridesmaids. The couple brought up two sons and two daughters in Devon.
When Mr Rhodes was diagnosed with cancer, the Queen offered the couple the Garden House in Windsor Great Park so they could be closer to London for treatment. Mr Rhodes died in 1981 and his widow remained there.
The cousins remained so close that they would take tea together every Sunday after church when the Queen was in Windsor.
In 1991, Mrs Rhodes became Woman of the Bedchamber, a mixture of lady-in-waiting and companion, to her aunt, the Queen Mother, until her death in 2002. That year the Queen appointed Mrs Rhodes Lieutenant of the Royal Victorian Order (LVO).
In her 2011 autobiography, The Final Curtsey, she described how as teenagers she and her royal cousins slipped out of Buckingham Palace on May 8, 1945, and celebrated VE Day with the crowds in The Mall, inspiring the 2015 film A Royal Night Out.
She also revealed how the future Queen did the conga through the palace and sang until 2am on VJ Day.
Maybe we have a few months of food left, who knows how long we’re gonna be out here? I mean I went through the jungle, heard a scream, came back so I don’t know if there are any coconuts out there. Or, maybe by some miracle Erik’s alive and he’s looking for us. Or Mr. Windsor? I mean, it’s just hot and the AC isn’t working. I’ve accepted death.