Jerry is in love again, so blissfully ecstatic that he and his new lover, Ana, march down the street hand in hand. They bring with them messages of love, and everywhere they go, love grows. Her dress twists slowly in the wind; the two are the epitome of happiness.
George attempts to return a bag of groceries accidentally taken off the shelf after the expiration date, and realizes that the clerk he’s speaking to is actually Jerry’s girlfriend. She patiently tries to explain to George that she cannot offer a refund, causing George to make quite a scene before he storms out.
He later explains the encounter to Jerry, shaking his tiny fist and swearing he wasn’t wrong, hoping Jerry can use his relationship to get George’s money back. However, Jerry didn’t realize that Ana worked at the grocery. “You’re telling me that my girlfriend earns… minimum wage?”
Elaine finds herself in a bizarre love triangle, where she must choose between “Mr. Horrible” and “The Ugliness Man.” She explains the situation to Jerry, who sympathizes a bit before whining that he wants to break things off with Ana without appearing classist. "No, that’s not classist,“ Elaine says. "That’s classless.”
Kramer attempts to poison Newman’s mind with wrong ideas that appeal to him, terrible screeds about various immigrant populations in the city. Newman will have none of it, though: “I can’t stand here listening to you, my racist friend.” “I’m not just your racist friend,” Kramer replies, “I’m your only friend.” Newman spits at Kramer’s feet and walks away.
Peterman becomes enamored with his new “pet rock,” going so far as to bring it to board meetings and business lunches. (He is unaware that it is actually a toy of one of the California Raisins.)
Newman, still reeling with disgust, gets his payback by leaving a dead sparrow in Kramer’s letterbox. When Kramer discovers this, he mutters to himself, “Done someone wrong, and I fear that it was me.”
Hoping for a more sympathetic ear than Jerry’s, George recounts his woes to his parents. Frank is utterly disgusted, though, and smashes his hearing aid beneath his boot heel so he doesn’t have to listen to George any longer. He screams endlessly, calling George “King Lazybones!”
A terrible smell and sound emanates from Kramer’s apartment, and a crowd gathers outside the door, trying to figure out exactly what’s going on. “He might be frying up a stalk of wheat,” suggests someone helpfully. Jerry is able to break the lock and discovers quite a scene: the bathtub running over, the stereo on at full volume, and bacon sizzling on the stove. Kramer, however, is nowhere to be found to explain why.
Jerry goes to the grocery store right in the middle of Ana’s shift and breaks up with her, right in front of her manager. “Well, Jerry,” she says through gritted teeth, “You’re the nicest of the damned.”
A week later, Jerry and George walk past the grocery where Ana works, both of them visibly depressed, a mess, and feeling totally worthless. “I tell ya,” says George, “That’s nobody’s storefront but the jerk’s!”
Bania goes shopping at a record store and plucks out one album in a green sleeve, immensely satisfied: “Now this one, this is the best!”