mr piper

Frazel in 20 Years...
  • Frank: *in the backyard as a donkey, entertaining the kids for a birthday*
  • *a cop can be seen through the fence, Hazel goes over*
  • Cop: Ma'am, are you aware that it's against the law to possess animals of barnyard nature in a residential area?
  • Hazel: *awkwardly glances at Frank and back at the cop*
  • Hazel: Um...what if you're married to one?
Things I want/don't want in season 5 of OITNB

- JUSTICE FOR POUSSAY WASHINGTON

- Lolly to get out of psych, she did not deserve that at all ;(

- Low key don’t want Deya to shoot/do?? Idk, it’s just she has a daughter and everything and there’s no way she’ll be getting out any time soon if she murders a CO. On the contrary, I hate this CO…

- Piper and Alex to sort their shit out. I mean c'mon. They’re on and off all the time it’s getting boring. Anyone could easily predict they’ll probably split up then get back together again in season 5.

- Okay so, the CO who raped Doggett. He needs to go. Nothing more to say about this.

- Enough with Healy’s backstory already. I get we’re supposed to feel sorry for him, and I do. I just don’t understand where we stand with his character? His story has dragged for so long and nothing ever positive really happens for him? It’s getting to the point where I really sympathise with him but I just don’t really care for his character, if you get me? I feel bad for saying it but..

- I don’t want Soso to be depressed ;( I really don’t. Something mega positive better happen for her this season.

- On a side note, I want something mega positive to happen for Taystee this season too.

- All the old COs to come back and sort this shit out. I don’t know how, just make it happen. I never realised how much I’d miss those guys…

- You all know what I’m gonna say about Piscatella.

- Okay, Stella can come back but I don’t want her to intervene with any close relationships at all. By that I mean Piper/Alex and Nicky/Lorna. I don’t how and for what good reason she could come back, I know she probably will but what I’m saying is I appreciate Ruby Rose and would not mind at all seeing her on the screen, I just don’t want ANOTHER reason to hate this character…

- I don’t care about Linda and Caputo’s relationship, I’m sorry I just don’t.

- Side note from that, it’s getting obvious to me that Linda is one of the bad guys. I suspect she’ll do something to fuck the prison over.

- Lorna to get help for her mental instability, y'know, actual help that’s gonna be useful, aside from all the comfort and that.

- She states to Nicky “He’s gonna leave me cause of it, then what’ll it do?” I’m saying this now, if any of these fucked up COs throw her into psych I’LL BAWL MY FUCKING EYES OUT.

- Nicky needs help with her drug problem. I love Nicky, she’s my favourite character but in season 4 she was really out of character. As much as it’s great to have her back, it looks like she’s falling into a spiral of depression and self-hatred ;( she deserves something/someone that’ll make her happy.

- If she overdoses and dies I will scream and cry as much as I did when Poussay died.

- More scenes of Nicky and Lorna, not arguing, just happy as their usual selves pretty please ;/

- Those white supremacy racist bitches. I hate them. The only way I’ll get back to truly liking Piper again is if she finds the courage to break it up before it expands. We know Piper did not initially intent to create a group of white racists, but it’s her responsibility, at the end of the day…

- JEEZ I HOPE SUZANNE IS OKAY

- Please, no more inmate deaths this season.. Unless it’s like, a character we’re supposed to hate then by all means, go ahead. But otherwise, my heart can’t take it.

- A little less of Judy King this season please.

- BENNETT COME BACK GOD DAMMIT.

(This is all I thought of so far, I’ll probably think of more when I rewatch the season and update this. I really enjoyed season 4 and I hate faith season 5 will be great. There’s just a few things I don’t want to see in that season…)

Mr D

I keep seeing the headcanon of someone going up to Mr D (usually it’s Jason) asking him to change the "one girl and one boy in a cabin" rule to “any two demigods regardless of their gender”. 

Personally I think Mr D would start laughing so hard, just really forget himself there for a second and laugh harder than he’s laughed in years before finally responding: Look Jacob, I’m the god of wine and parties. People would do orgies in my name to honor me, so what you kids get up to in your free time is up to you and I don’t give a flying fuck. But since I trust you brats about as far as I can throw Mt Olympus I guess a change is in order: no two demigods capable of producing a baby together can be alone in a cabin. There are enough of you little shits as there is and the last thing I want is you making more. Anything else if fair game.

Then he struts away, still cackling to himself, leaving behind a very flustered Jason. Piper just shrugs, not expecting anything else, but Will does a little gloating dance before trying to highfive Nico who is blushing so hard he thinks he might faint.

6

A special Mother’s Day shout-out to a few of my favorite horror mommas. Keep it rad, ladies.