mr hogwarts

When Mrs. Norris is temporarily paralyzed after indirectly seeing the basilisk in Chamber Of Secrets and Filch at first believes she’s been killed, he breaks down into violent sobs. That is not how a grown man, particularly one as usually heartless as Filch, reacts to a dead cat. Once he finds out she’s only been petrified, he still viciously attacks Harry, who he believes to be responsible. No one outside of a Cathy comic has ever loved a cat more than Argus Filch.

But it actually gets weirder. To say that Mrs. Norris is an exceptionally smart cat would be like saying Superman is an exceptionally strong dude. Filch and Mrs. Norris often work as a team, patrolling different areas of the castle for misbehaving students. Getting caught by Mrs. Norris is as bad as getting caught by Filch, because she will fetch him straight away. This means that Mrs. Norris has memorized the school’s rules, understands them, and recognizes when a student is breaking them. In the first book, Hagrid tells Harry and Ron that he suspects Filch has trained Mrs. Norris to follow him specifically. You’ll recognize all of these as things cats can’t do. (It’s been theorized that Mrs. Norris might be part Kneazle, a cat-like magical creature with superfeline intelligence, but Rowling has shot it down.) She also shows up on the Marauder’s Map, while other animals don’t. It’s almost like she’s a person in the body of a cat in a magical universe where that exact thing can definitely happen.

The Untold Story Behind The Hogwarts Cat

  • [in detention]
  • McGonagall: Alright, here are your lines.
  • McGonagall: Mr. Black- "I am not allowed in the girls' dormitory, even if I am wearing women's dress robes."
  • McGonagall: Mr. Potter- "I shall never again levitate a fellow student up the girls' dormitory staircase."
  • McGonagall: Mr. Pettigrew- "I am not permitted to see how high I can climb the girls' dormitory staircase before it turns into a slide."
  • McGonagall: Mr. Lupin- "I should not be friends with Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, or Mr. Pettigrew."
First task upon becoming a student at Hogwarts:

Befriending Mrs. Norris.

Like, every student just automatically hates her because she’s Filch’s cat. But imagine if a student actually took the time to win her over, like offering cat treats whenever you see her and then offering her friendly pats once she gets used to you.

Imagine how much shit you could get away with if that cat actually liked you??

Wandering around after hours and getting caught by Mrs. Norris, but instead of her running off to Filtch, she hangs out with you the whole time and warns you when teachers are near.

Imagine being friends with Mrs. Norris.

potter!lock headcanons

- sherlock comes from a pureblood family
- all the holmes are slytherins
- except for sherlock
- sherlock is a ravenclaw and he’s proud of it, that’s why he always wears his blue scarf
- he’s a potions genius and exceeds in human transfiguration
- john is a muggleborn gryffindor
- he played quidditch as a catcher but then had an accident and injured his shoulder so he can no longer play
- he wants to be an auror or a healer
- greg is captain of the gryffindor quidditch team, probably a beater
- molly is a hufflepuff ofc and she’s also great with potions
- mary used to date john but now they’re just really good friends
- she’s in gryffindor too
- irene is in ravenclaw and a very skilled legilimens who knows everyone’s secrets
- she tells sherlock and john about the room of requirement and they use it mostly to snog but sherlock also conducts a few weird experiments there
- moriarty is a slytherin and he’s hogwarts’ consulting criminal of course
- mycroft works in the department of misteries and sherlock takes advantage of that in every opportunity he has
- mrs hudson is the school nurse and she gives sherlock the magical equivalent of morphine all the time (shhh don’t tell anyone)
- mcgonagall is headmistress and she often asks for sherlock’s help when there’s a problem she can’t figure out
- I’m actually writing this fic

You know what we don’t talk about enough? 

Summer. Hogwarts.

Most of the teachers live there, so whilst some of them would be visiting family and friends or whatnot, a lot of them would just be partying it up at the ol’ HW for most of the summer -

  • The school grounds filled with all kinds of wildflowers, aside from Professor Sprouts overflowing yet well manicured garden that she always seems to be in (occasionally with help from Hagrid)
  • Hagrid playing fetch with the giant squid 
  • PROFESSOR. QUIDDITCH. (Madame Hooch sits on her broom, high above the arena, searching for the snitch, “Scared, McGonagall?” McGonagall narrows her eyes, “You wish.”)
  • Flitwick playing pranks on the other teachers but no one knows who’s doing them besides Dumbledore and he’s to amused to tell anyone
  • Professor Burbage finally finds out who charmed her teen vampire novels pink, and then proceeds to help Flitwick 
  • Snape wakes up to find the dungeon a nice, light shade of yellow. No one (save two) have any idea how to get it off because, Burbage says, “It seems to be a type of muggle paint. Speaking of which, Martha Stewart just released a rather fabulous line of summer colours, you know.” To which Dumbledore replies, “Ah, yes, that Sea Glass is simply divine.” And they walk off debating the merits of various paint colours while Snape is sat sputtering behind them
  • Filch going for joy-rides on the Hogwarts Express, and Mrs. Norris playing with the string that when pulled sounds the whistle
  • Hooch racing them on her broom
  • Great Hall sleepovers. Need I say more?
  • McGonagall and Dumbledore playing magical croquet on the front lawn in with bonnets and parasols 
  • Dumbledore deciding that he’s too tired to continue playing, so instead sits down and weaves the flowers through his beard
  • Snape being as sulky as he usually is, constantly frustrated by the others’ good moods and as such spends most of the time in the (still Light Daffodil yellow) dungeons, where people think he’s making lesson plans but he’s actually just mimicking his least favourite students in unnecessarily high and squeaky voices
  • Dumbledore putting a bonnet on Snape’s head when he passes him in the hall and telling him to “lighten” up
  • The pun earned him a fist bump from McGonagall
  • the students coming back in the fall, and having no idea (Dumbledore charmed the paint off the night before the first day of term)
928. In their second year, Fred and George asked Mrs. Weasley for sweaters for some 'friends'. After she sent them, she got a picture of them with their year mates but the order that they stood in spelled out swear words. It was one of their first howlers.

No one knew who the tabby belonged to, though they presumed Mrs Figg as the cat had been seen to enter her house. However, it also seemed rather fond of number four’s back garden and the green eyed boy with whom it played most Sunday afternoons when the Dursleys went out. Of course McGonagall would never admit she had a fondness for playing with Harry when she was supposed to be keeping an eye on him.

“Little Did I Know”

HELLO I AM BACK!!!

After a long *long* hiatus, I have finally recollected my inspiration and I am back in time to celebrate our favorite *Academy Award Winning* movie with my man Mr. Scamander!

AU: Hogwarts (bcuz I’m trash for a school AU)

Word Count: 1333 (sorry kiddos I had a lot to write)

Warnings: So sweet you might get diabetes (also contains a timeline jump)

Without fuuuuurther ado!

Originally posted by claracivry


You stuffed your potions paperwork back into your briefcase, brushing your bangs out of your eyes and recollecting your thoughts. There was no clock in the Hufflepuff common room, but you didn’t need one to know it was late. Much later than a third year like yourself should be staying up. Yet here you were. And you know what could make you feel a hell of a lot better now? That fluffy brown hair. Those freckles and that wide goofy grin. You could listen to that boy all day. You could…

No, you willed your thoughts to halt, and clapped your hands down on the desk.

“No…” you swiftly pulled out the next set of paperwork, banishing any thoughts that weren’t related to polyjuice potions and proper cauldron cleaning.

You would often get on Newt for forgetting to clean his cauldron. He, of course, would assure you there was nothing to be worried about.

And it would blow up in his face every time. Quite literally.

You smiled fondly.

“Sporting a grin I see, may I ask why?” you hear that all too familiar voice call.

“Newt” you yelp in surprise, the papers you were holding were suddenly airborne.

“That’s me. May I ask, what are you still doing awake?” his puppy dog eyes squinted in concern. “It’s well past midnight”

“Is it? Why I haven’t even finished studying! This is all your fault anyway, for keeping  me up with those fascinating drawings of yours” You giggled in an attempt to wipe the worry off his face, but somehow your hysteria seemed to frighten him even more.

What? It’s not like you were drun-

“(Y/N) we have a big potions test tomorrow, the time for cramming has come and past.”

“You see Mister Scamander, there will always be a time for cramming” His smile widened, causing your’s too as well. Damn, this boy’s charisma was infectious.

“While I find our debates quite amusing, I’m afraid your well being must come first. Now go to sleep” He began to bend over and pick the discarded potions papers off the floor, most of which were either blank or covered in red marks. He studied one of your papers closely, eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched. You couldn’t help but stare at how his eyes always maintained its light, even at God-knows-when at night.

“Why have you never asked me for help? (Y/N), we’re in this class together, how did I not know you were struggling?” Your attention was suddenly turned to the crisp paper in his hands, dread filling every crevice in your body.

“Oh my God I’m going to fail…” the realization dawned on you.

“Oh my God oh my God I’m going to stay at Hogwarts ‘till I’m thirty” you gathered your hair in your fists, staring off into nowhere in particular. “Newt I’m going to throw myself off the Astronomy tower.”

He suddenly rushed over to you, sensing your panic, and wrapped his warm hands around your wrists, trying to whisper any words of comfort. But you refused to meet his gaze.

“No, (Y/N), you’re not going to fail. It’s only one exam, you’re going to be fine. We are going to graduate and travel the world together. You, me, and who knows what else?! Maybe we’ll find a Niffler, how cool would that be? (Y/N) Look at me” You smile fondly at your best friend’s words, and turned your head in his direction easily.

“Maybe tomorrow won’t go so brilliantly, but I promise you will get a perfect score on the next exam. We will study for hours, just you and me, how does that sound? All you need is rest. Can you do that for me?” Your eyes wander down to Newt’s hands, still entrapping your wrists in the gentlest of grips.

“You always know what to say, Newt”

“I’ll take that as a yes. Now, I would carry you to your bed but I’m afraid that involves trespassing to places with cooties.” You let out a soft ‘pffft’  and ruffle his curly hair, making his freckled cheeks blush in embarrassment.

“Alright alright, only if you get to sleep too. That reminds me…why were you up Mr. Scamander at such an ungodly hour?” He pauses.

“I was…thinking” he admits, tilting his head to the side like a dog.

“About what?”

“About things. The future, our future, really.” Your sleep deprived mind was suddenly picked with curiosity.

“Our future? Tell me Newt, what lies in our future?” There was that grin again, and he ducked his head to hide his teeth.

“All the places we would visit. I was thinking we could start with Japan. I heard Occamies are native to the land, but I doubt we’d be able to find any.”

“Nonsense” you replied, your mind in a bit of a haze.

“I bet we’ll find a whole family with your luck! I can’t wait.”

“Yes, all of that is waiting for us if you go to sleep and not fail third year potions.” He then leaned down and pressed a kiss against your forehead, making your entire face heat up.

“You’re an asshole” you tease, attempting to swipe at him, but he was already up and out of the way.

“Goodnight (Y/N)” he called once again before disappearing up the staircase, leaving you with nothing but a dreamy feeling and a blush as red as a lobster.

You did end up lugging yourself to your bed half an hour later, instantly falling asleep as your head hit the pillow.

And you dreamed…

And you dreamed about Japan.

And you dreamed about Newt.


-Four Years Later-


“Newt! Come on we’re going to miss the train!” You called to your boyfriend as he scurried down the platform, his ridiculous blue coat and Hufflepuff scarf flapping in the wind.

“I’m coming! I’m coming don’t leave without me!” He finally caught up to you and the luggage, sweat visibly forming under his curly brown bangs.

You couldn’t help the smile widening across your face.

“And he crosses the finish line with two minutes to spare!” you exclaim, lifting his arm in the air in a display of victory.

“Stop that, people are looking” he blushed as he pulled his arm back down, looking around at the many pairs of eyes resting on the two of you.

“Oh that’s probably because of your ridiculous blue coat. I begged you not to buy that, you’re going to stick out of Japan like a sore thumb” you thumb the sleeve of his new woolen garb. He then proceeded to pout and rub his arm self consciously.

“I thought it looked dashing”

You reach for his shoulders and raise yourself onto your toes, planting a small kiss on his cheek.

“Of course you look dashing, I was only teasing. Besides, you’ll match the Occamies”

He scoffed, averting his eyes from you to the newly arrived train, a blush forming around his freckles.

“I doubt we’ll find any.”

“Nonsense, I bet we’ll even find an entire family with your luck!” His eyes suddenly brightened with a sense of recognition.

“Well that sounds familiar. Didn’t you say that to me four years ago when you were cramming like mad for a portions test?” You nod, blushing like an idiot.

Oh, you remember that night.

“Yes, I recall you gave me a kiss that night and gushed about our future.”

“Something like that…” he trailed off, staring off into the distance like he was remembering something. Your placed your hand under his chin, tilting his face down to meet your gaze, and you smiled so wide your eyes crinkled at the sides.

“I remember you said we would go to Japan together. Little did you know ‘together’ meant more that you thought”

“Little did I know…” he repeated, his eyes filled with something you couldn’t describe with anything but love.

“Now come on love, we have a train to catch”

“Oh, I loved my [onscreen] children! I loved them! The fourth film, I wasn’t in it, and I got postcard from them saying, ‘Come back, Mom! Dad can’t control us!’  
The whole feel of the job was very homey and very family. I’ve never known a film [series] like it. I suppose it’s because we were there for 10 years and we saw the children grow up and the rest of us grow old. It didn’t ever feel like work.”
—Julie Walters (Mrs. Weasley)