mr ball

All The Small Things

Every time Tom gets angry on the show, in front of Marco, it’s interesting to know that Marco isn’t particularly bothered by his anger.

 Every time Tom has been scolded by Marco, it’s been because of something he did wrong, like lying.

He’s never gotten angry at Tom for getting reasonably upset about things , even when he promised to him he wouldn’t get mad.

It’s something interesting to point out, because then it reminds you of how Star treated Tom’s anger in BMB.

Marco and Star are very different with Tom’s issues.

While Marco hasn’t yet to invalidate Tom’s feelings, and handles the problem by ridding the source of Tom’s anger.

Star instead, gets irritated because of Tom’s irritation, and shows annoyance at him for being upset.

Now i like Star, and she doesn’t have to put up with Tom’s anger.

But this night did mean a lot to Tom, and Star kinda went mostly for herself, not for them. Tom did everything possible to make the event something fun for her ((Resulting in his own subjects being bored)) and her entire reaction to all of it consisted of annoyance and ignorance.

Tom, who went through all this trouble to make this night perfect and prove himself to the one person (At the time) he cared about, kept feeling like he wasn’t good enough for her.

She ditched him as well to go do other things, although Tom’s anger is dangerous, the things he does get upset about are understandable and relatable.

His night was falling apart, and then Marco showed up, ruined what was probably his last chance to make the night up to Star, and that was the last straw for him.

Everyone is very quick to blame Tom for the breakup, but considering we know practically nothing about their dating life and relationship, and don’t really know why they broke up.

I don’t think it’s impossible that Star could’ve been partially responsible.

Tom is clearly a person who needs emotional support, he’s lonely and ashamed of his issues.

and as much as i like Star, she’s not typically very good with the feelings of others ((She’s getting better at it, but there are plenty of times Marco’s opinions, needs, and well-being were ignored in favor of her own))

Which is why it’s nice that Marco supplies that support for Tom, and takes his feelings into account when he’s hurt.

Tom should be allowed to be upset and angry sometimes, as long as he can control himself.

And it’s nice to see Marco not only validate his feelings, but help him handle his issues in a safe manner (Which Tom frankly seems to enjoy alot more)

It’s a small thing to notice how Marco treats tom’s issues in comparison to Star.

But it’s a pure small thing.

I’m relatively open to all kinds of ideas and theories, the’re a lot of fun to talk about and mess around with. 

But there are just some i just can’t accept, and i think it’s harder to accept, when they were created on little fact…and seem to only exist to put down. character or ship.

I love tom, but i can respect it if someone just simply doesn’t like him.

He’s flawed, every character is, which is a good thing, he’s going to screw up…nobody is perfect…

But abusive? 

Abusive is a strong thing to call somebody, if you’re referring to someone as being abusive you are referring to someone who can cause physical and/ or mental damage to someone…and who doesn’t care about the victim’s feelings and /or well-being.

That’s a pretty hard accusation to place on Tom, especially when he’s still a character with much mystery behind him.

I wouldn’t be nearly as bothered by it, however, if the fandom didn’t treat this as more of a FACT sometimes…and not an headcanon.

You can’t use a headcanon as a reason to hate Tom, or hate any ship he’s apart of.

A headcanon is a theory or idea of something that may happen, or could happen…..it’s nothing that’s confirmed yet.

Unless Tom is proven to be abusive on this show, he’s not.

And it’s a hard claim to stake, because it really doesn’t make a lot of sense considering his character and his relationships.

But Star-!

Star is one of the biggest reasons i don’t buy this idea.

all of her actions towards Tom are not the ones of a victim of abuse. She’s not really afraid of Tom, has no problem saying no to him, and frankly doesn’t really seem to hate him despite everything.

And if Tom DID abuse her, that doesn’t add up and instead raises more questions like:

  • Why did Star accept Tom’s invite so easily in BMB? And leave so willingly in this and the original storyboard?
  • Why is Star so forgiving towards Tom?
  • Why does she still have his number?
  • Why is she perfectly fine with Tom and Marco hanging out together?
  • Why would she egg Marco on to hang out with Tom?
  • Why does her reaction to him inviting her in BMB sound more annoyed then angry and aggressive if he hurt her?

Look, i don’t know for sure about what happened with their relationship, but this is not how an abuse survivor treats their abuser.

Star would want nothing to do with him, wouldn’t let Marco ever hang out with him, wouldn’t willingly go anywhere with him anymore, and would treat him a lot more coldly.


But he’s mean!! He’s hurt star and Marco-!

Here’s the thing about abusers, they don’t realize (Or Care) about how they treat the victim. 

This is literally the opposite of Tom’s entire character.

When Tom hurts people, he genuinely looks hurt and ashamed of himself.

When he gets scolded, he looks as if he’s about to cry.

Making others sad and/or upset isn’t something he takes pride in and he has no problem taking the blame when he screws up.

He genuinely apologizes, this is not something an abuser would do.

Tom’s character revolves around him trying to improve upon himself, he goes through the effort to become a better person and tried to fix something he knows is causing so much trouble, You can’t simply pretend these efforts mean nothing when they’re such a big part of his character.

Tom’s flawed, sure, but so are Marco and Star.

And between the three of them, Tom tries the hardest to change for the good of himself and everyone around him.



There’s also the matter that out of everyone on this show, Tom gets this label despite him never harming anyone on this show.

The most damage he’s done to anyone so far is hit Marco with some ping pong balls, that’s not exactly the worst Marco’s encountered compared to what Star has put him through.

Sure he attempted to attack Marco during BMB, but considering that fight never happened….we’ll never know what Tom could’ve ended up doing or if he even would’ve gone through with it.

The guy kinda lost everything that night, his anger was building all night and this was what broke the camel’s back.

It’s probably harder to handle this kinda thing when your emotions link to your powers.


He didn’t even hurt Marco in “Friend-enemies” when he got upset, and the position he chose to “Attack” him with doesn’t look too effective considering it looks more like Tom’s going in for a kiss.

(( No seriously, who attacks people in this kinda position?))

But in “Mr Candle Cares”… he said he was gonna destroy Marco!!!

Yeah, but did he? He and Marco played 58 games, despite the fact that they only needed to play one to decide Marco’s fate and Tom never told him to stop starting these new games.

Honestly is anyone really sure Tom would’ve “Destroyed” Marco? 

It looks more to me like he’s all talk in that scene, upset Marco discovered his plan and is trying not to panic about what he’s gonna do about it.

Cause he can’t let Marco leave and tell Star, but now he doesn’t know what to do with him.

When he thought they kissed the worst he did to Marco was spin him and get him wet.

B-But he wanted to do a battle to the death!

Ok, for one, i think that has much more to do with Tom’s violent culture, and less to do with him being abusive. It’s probably how the underworld settles deputes normally, and considering Tom’s species seems to have a harder time being killed off….it’s probably less of a big deal to them.

Tom wasn’t raised in exactly the most comfortable and understanding universes the show has presented.

So Far Tom’s been about as dangerous as a kitten. Star’s done worse damage to other’s then him.

Heck i’m sure the water fountain at the school has harmed more people then Tom at this point.


but one of the last things that needs to be said about this and why this doesn’t work is that if Tom was meant to be this awful, unforgiving, harmful person….why try and make him sympathetic?

The crew actually loves Tom, and if you’ve been around to their blogs it’s very common to find the crew’s draws of Tom…sometimes by himself, but other times with Marco and Star.

It’s clear the crew likes him, and they constantly put him in a position where he’s friends with Marco and Star.

If Tom is meant to be this horrible abusive person? Then why give him sympathy? Why allow him to have anything to do with Marco or Star?

If you’re going to portray an abusive relationship, one of the last things you want to do is make the abuser sympathetic.

Especially on a show like this one that’s meant for kids.

If you wanted to make Tom abusive, why not keep his old evil design? That would fit more with that idea, not this version.

You can interpret the characters how you want but saying that this is canon, and putting people’s ships down because of this claim that has no real good evidence to it….that doesn’t work.

It comes off more like the fandom wanted an excuse to hate Tom, and find ways to put down other’s for their ships.

And considering Jackie gets worse treatment then Tom, despite doing nothing wrong…that shouldn’t be a surprise.


Tom’s a mystery, there’s a lot we still need to know about him. But i don’t believe this abusive version of him was what the show was intending to create.


Untill there is more evidence then “ Tom’s done bad things”, (something that all people do), this is just a headcanon that isn’t very likely to be true at all.

And it really needs to die because it’s not doing any favors for this fandom at all by taking a character whose most relatable to victims of abuse, and labeling him worse then the show’s intentions.