mr & mrs west

6

Beyonce is pregnant with twins and I don’t imagine she’ll be bringing them to the house either. Sorry Blue, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. Maybe you’ll get lucky and the twins will be boys. No one cares about boys… look at Saint. 

Clark Kent is a Goddamn Dork™ headcanons

1. Clark has handmade cosplays of every member of the Justice League that he wears whenever he substitutes for one of them on patrol. The picture of Superman wearing Wonder Woman’s armored skirt made it to the front page of the Daily Planet. He was not ashamed.

2. Whenever Superman fights Toyman he pulls out the dangerous bits and then brings the toys home for his kids to play with. Lois is very glad for the shrink ray, else she’d have to explain where all these warmechs keep coming from and why her husband thought he could fit them on the roof.

3. He likes to sneak up behind Batman, though he’s only successfully pulled it off once. He keeps trying though.

4. The SECOND Clark found out that the Superfamily now had nine members, he challenged Shazam and the Marvel Family to a game of superpowered baseball. Jon hit a home run from Kansas to Oregon, and Freddy STILL somehow managed to catch it.

5. He starts posing whenever he sees Jimmy Olsen, even if Olsen doesn’t have a camera on him. It’s a habit by this point.

6. Every single anniversary or Valentine’s gift that he got for Lois has come from another planet. The Green Lanterns frequently have to come and confiscate them because transporting some of these items happens to be a violation of interplanetary law.

7. Once, on the Watchtower, an invisible superspeed SOMEONE put thumbtacks on everyone’s chairs RIGHT before they sat down. Clark blamed Barry, Barry blamed Clark, Wally blamed both of them, and then it ended up that all three of them were competing for highest “kill count.” Bruce was worth five.

8. Has been known to make jokes in front of the other Leaguers about how handsome he’s heard this “Clark Kent” fellow is supposed to be, then going, “Mmm… I’d tap that.”

9. Went in full Superman costume to the preview of The Avengers, carrying a plastic replica Mjölnir. Proceeded to smack Mxyzptlk in the face with it when he showed up, which made the imp laugh so hard he voluntarily said his name backwards in acknowledgment of Superman’s nerdery.

10. Cries every time he watches Titanic.