mp&h

So I wrote this as a continuous post on hangoverwatch’s post, but I then decided to just rewrite this as my own text so the general public can read it.

Although I enjoy and appreciate the characterization that Jesse Mccree can be a bumbling goof at times (cause I mean, have you seen his outfit?) And how people portray him as a down-to-earth kind of guy that can and will sweep anyone off their feet with his Southern cowboy charm is great all, but I feel like we as a fandom forget that he is an extremely dangerous man.

In canon terms, his bounty is worth a hell of a lot more than Roadhog and Junkrat’s combined. “But Jess, JR and RH’s bounty are in pesos blah blah blah.”  Look, I already did my math, and when RH and JR’s bounties are converted to American currency their amount comes up to $1,371,704.48 each (A total of $2,743,408.96 USD combined) Compare that to Jesse’s whopping $60,000,000 USD bounty, their crimes pale in comparison to Jesse’s. Also, I (for those who need a little more convincing) went ahead and converted Jesse’s bounty to pesos and his came up to a total of $1,093,530,000.00! That’s 2x more than JR and RH’S combined and then some. This guy is a more wanted criminal than them, and they’re known for robbing, bombing, and even killing innocent people. And even if their bounties weren’t in pesos, Jesse’s bounty is still 10,000,000 more than theirs combined.

How he got his reputation to be so notorious is up in the air and will most likely be open to our opinion until we get more history between him, Gabriel, Deadlock, and Blackwatch. (Obviously Deadlock is more of a threat than we may perceive due to them [in the process of] hijacking a government train, and Jack’s voiceline in game saying that Gabriel should have ended Deadlock a long time ago. He of all people should bring up red flags when in comes to gangs considering how he views Los Muertos.)

So knowing that Jesse was part of this group at a young age (in my headcanon he was 15 going on 16) is really terrifying. That gives him a brief time period of a year to get him recruited into Deadlock, figure out his role, steal a lot of government items (successfully might I add), hone his skills as a marksman, and all while making a name for himself. Now, a lot of these things are easy to accomplish at an early age(honing skills, filling a role in a community, and making a name for oneself is all based on dedication.) The thing that’s scary is the fact that more than likely Jesse went on these assault missions and lived while doing the other 3 to the point that he was the only one considered to be taken into OW. Again we don’t know if he was threatened to join or he was offered a spot in OW peacefully. On his bio, it’s said that due to his resourcefulness and expert marksmanship Jesse was given a choice to join or not. So obviously, the person who recruited him (more than likely it was Gabriel) knew about Jesse McCree enough to want him on their team. And as posted by hangoverwatch, OW only has eyes and ears for the best. 

So let’s look at the facts:

Like from earlier in this post, Jesse McCree is a highly skilled man. Skilled enough to:

  • Sit on a train moving at the rate of 640 kpm/h (which is equivalent to 397.678 mp/h. Basically hella fast) with no signs of bodily distress.
  • Able to jump off said moving train with no struggle against wind and gravity while holding himself long enough to break a window.
  • Slaughter an entire Talon operative team BY HIMSELF without killing civilians with pinpoint accuracy even in the dark.
  • Knows he’s capable enough to kill Gabriel–a war hero, super soldier, and the Blackwatch figurehead (his voiceline proves that he feels like he’s the one that should kill Gabriel.)
  • Was able to survive long enough to earn himself a $60,000,000 bounty while still able to somewhat stay in public without being recognized (the event at Hanamura shows that he’s resourceful enough to cover his tracks to where people still don’t know who saved the shop even with his bounty.)

But that’s not it. He’s also the down-to-earth, snarky man that everyone writes/draws him to be

  • While a lethal killing machine can be quite the gentleman (stated by Ana who recalls him being “quite the charmer.”)
  • Has a competitive side (The new summer game line: “I don’t like much losing.”)
  • He’s a cheeky little shithead (ALL of his interactions with Reaper.)
  • He’s a cowboy fanboy (Upon closer examination, Jesse did not get his full cowboy get up until AFTER he left OW. Hinted by the voiceline between him and Reaper. R:You look ridiculous. J:Looked in a mirror lately?) He only had his hat and belt buckle throughout the Golden years. Serape, boots, and spurs came later.

So to everyone that thinks that Jesse McCree is an idiot let me be the one to say that you have never been more wrong. This man is a conniving, calculating, murderous, son-of-a-bitch with a cowboy/vigilante complex. He wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in your head if you stood on the wrong end of justice, and the problem is, is that it’s his code of justice. It’s whatever he deems is good or evil. This guy is seriously not a force to be reckoned with. Although he may not be as book smart as Winston, Mei, and Satya, and even Blizzard stated he can be a bit of an irresponsible adult (not being able to schedule appointments on his own) He can and will outsmart you in a game of wits effortlessly while also make you question your own intelligence. Long story short: Jesse McCree is a goofy, knowledgable, badass that won’t hesitate to kick your butt if you pushed the wrong buttons. So basically don’t get on his bad side and we’re all golden.

Call me a bitter ztan if u want but bruh I really am exhausted by the double standards surrounding my boy and the deeply rooted injustice he has to face every damn day. Like even fucking tinhats are all too willing to paint him as weak and spineless while they defend L*am for abstaining to comment on The Brexit or keeping a tr*mp doll. H*rry gets to say that he doesnt want to talk about 1/d and that he wished they’d stopped after FOUR but god forbid Zayn leaves a situation that was detrimental to his health. They’re both glorified for saying they’re happy to have more creative freedom (which contrary to Zayn, they got to experience in the band) but Zayn says he’s happy to make music that suits him better and people claim he’s trash? Ni*ll writes about sex freely and people react like he’s a legend but Zayn has 3 songs about sex and he’s crucified for it.
Like excuuuuuse me for foaming at the mouth but I hope y'all choke on your racism.

anonymous asked:

i'm sure you've answered this before but what is the most aesthetically pleasing gun

Tough call, but it’s a tie between the Chicago typewriter

Hitler’s buzzsaw with a drum magazine

A classic AK-74 with the underbarrel caseless grenade launcher.

Or the original H&K MP 5

GOT7 Reaction | When they come across their member holding hands with their S/O

| Got7 reaction to a member and the member’s s/o holding hands while sleeping | i wasn’t quite sure how to word this but here u go anyways!~Admin H


Mark: markipoo is gonna have 2 cover his mouth bc he’s gonna have the urge to squeal and jump up and down but he refrains from doing so bc he knows that will wake them up and that is the l a s t thing he wants to do tbh he’ll probably take a picture and keep it to send to the member later as a gift

JB/Jaebum: lmaoo JB’s gonna roll his eyes so hard they’ll come out of his head, but even for all his grumbling about it he can’t hide the smile on his face at the sight of one of his brothers happily in love

Jackson: if theres anything jackson likes more then being in love, its watching other people be in love lololol have u seen that video of him freaking out over that girl getting engaged? He’s be j u s t like that except he’s covering his mouth bc he doesn’t want to wake up the sleeping couple in question 

Jinyoung: low key annoyed theres PDA in Hi S dORm but high key proud bc his children r in love and happy and there is nothing he loves to see more then the people who r basically his family happy and healthy and finding love but he is gonna give judgmental stares bc lbr there will be no hanky panky in his house no sIR

Youngjae: !!!!!!!!1 he’s !!! so happy for them!!! this is like a scene from a drama and he loves it!!! he’s so excited to see how sweet and innocent and he just adores to see his members so happy and cute w their S/O and it makes his heart 10x lighter to see them together.

BamBam: lmaooo this guy is gonna tease the shit out of them he’s gonna take so many pictures and use them as blackmail to get out of stuff or to get them to do things for him unless its JB then he knows he gonna get his ass kicked if he tries that shit lolololol secretly he’s 200% jealous bc like,,,he wants some1 to cuddle with,,,where is his cute s/o to snuggle with,,

Yugyeom: this babe is gonna take pictures as well but he goes back n forth with himself like do i use this against them or do i use this as a lure to make them think i am cute and innocent and helpful?? in the end he’s a good boy and gives the picture 2 the member and makes them happy n stuff and he’s so overjoyed to have someone else to pick on and he l o v e s having someone to take the attention off of him so that he can go do evil things…like  h u mp the floor w/o his hyungs getting on his case a;dhjalsdkjfaj

You are a breath of fresh air in the midst of congestion. You are sunshine and daylight and sunrises and sunsets and cold pizza and movie nights on Fridays and good music played through great speakers in fast cars. You are my mornings when I don’t have an alarm and you are the day I got promoted at work. You are late nights filled with painful stomachs and tired eyes from good friends and many laughs. You are a clean slate and a freshly vacuumed car. You are that feeling in the pit of my stomach I try to deny as butterflies but deep down I know that your eyes send me in this whirlwind of affection. You are Taco Tuesday at Tijuana’s and Wacky Wednesdays at the car wash. You are a brand new notebook that I hope I will be able to write the deepest parts of my heart into but only if the texture and time is right. You are, “let me know when you get home safe” and, “don’t forget to defrost your rear windshield, because you always forget until it’s too late when you can’t see and you need to switch lanes; you’re always so last minute, baby, please stay safe, i love you.”

You are the die-hard fan with their chest painted and two foam fingers and I want to be the team. You are the careful hands that hold so many hearts and I want to hold out my hand so you won’t have to carry them alone. You are the dreams and goals of tomorrow and I am here to help you on your way.

You are the extra freakin’ nugget in my 8-count.

—  someone take this pen away from me, because it is 6am and i can’t get my mind off of the way your eyes are always the highbeams in my rear-view mirror.
If Sirius and Remus Were Dads AU: A Bride

Requested by ellbox:
Could you do a headcanon where Sirius’ daughter gets married please I don’t care who to haha thanks 😊

I hope you like it, sweetie! Sorry that it took so long! xx

  • Sirius began crying when he first saw Aurora in her wedding gown. It was almost an exact replica of one of the princess gowns he had made for her when she was a kid. She wanted him to know that, no matter what, she was still his little princess and nothing would change that.
  • Don’t worry, Sirius had style. Even Remus, begrudgingly, agreed. The gown looked beautiful on her then, and even now, as a grown woman.
  • Remus visited her in her bride’s chambers and hugged her tightly, saying that he would call Sirius so he can prepare to walk her down the aisle. She smiled at him and said, “Make sure you don’t take too long looking for Daddy, Dad. You have to walk me down the aisle, too.” He was about to say something about tradition, but she cut him off. “I don’t care about tradition, Dad. You raised me and loved me as your own. You’re as every bit as a father as Daddy is to me. Even if the Healers say otherwise. I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer.”
  • Remus smiled at her, and she swears she saw tears gather in his eyes.
  • Sirius was a big cry baby through it all.
  • He gave her groom the stink eye a whole week before the wedding.
  • Harry helped with getting the perfect venue for the wedding. Being the Chosen One had its perks. (He was still the Chosen One and he already beat Voldemort at this point in time.)
  • Molly and Rory baked the cake themselves. Ginny and Hermione helped decorate it.
  • Most of the flowers in her bouquet were lilies.
  • Her flower holder was transfigured to look something similar to antlers.
  • She wanted Lily and James to be there when she walked down the aisle. She loved them both as much as she loved Remus and Sirius.
  • Lily cried when she saw her walking down the aisle with her bouquet. She cried even more when she saw a small petunia poking out.
  • Harry had to reassure James that no deer was harmed in the making of this wedding. James, reassured, was caught wiping a tear from his eye.
  • Harry would be the first to dance with her after her groom.
  • When the doors finally opened, before she walked towards the altar, three owls went in, carrying small notes for the Potters.
  • Lily’s said, “Thank you for being my mum. I love you.”
  • James’s said, “You’re one of the best dads a girl could hope for.”
  • Harry’s said, “I’m better than you. Get a girl at my wedding (I demand it of you) xx love you.” Harry still has it in his wallet to date.
  • Her groom could not stop looking at her in awe.
  • 150% sure that Ginny would be grinding Hermione and dancing with her sexually to annoy her.
  • Molly and Arthur were doing this awkward dance thing with Arthur constantly saying, “this is how the Muggles do it.”
  • Sirius reminded her of their 65 year old rule. (But Daddy NO HE CAN WAIT)
  • Sirius looked at his daughter as a bride, and was filled with a terrible ache as he remembered her younger years when she still needed to cuddle up to him on bad days, when Remus had to teach her how to read, when her biggest fear was being away from them. Now, she would walk down the aisle, and he would have to give her away, and some part of him knew that she wasn’t completely theirs anymore and it continues to break his heart.
  • Before the wedding started, her groom walked up to Sirius and told him that he would never hurt her and that he would always protect her. Somehow, it helped. It helped because all he wanted for his daughter was a happier and safer world than the world he lived in and the young lad in front of him was determined to give her just that.
  • Her groom looked at his wife and held her hand, promising to himself that he would not let go.
  • Early the next day, Sirius commented on the loud noises in their bedroom saying, “Keep the Muggle contraption thing’s volume down. People need sleep.”
  • Remus tried his best to not burst out laughing.
  • So did James.
  • As did Lily.
  • With Harry.
  • And Rory.
  • And her husband.
  • They all failed.
  • Sirius was not amused.
  • One of Sirius’ gifts to her was a trophy engraved with the words, “MOST BEAUTIFUL BRIDE/DAUGHTER/HUMAN BEING IN ALL OF THE WORLD (thanks to my genes).” She claims that it’s the best award given to her.
  • Sirius made the most heart-warming speech in all of existence which no one took seriously because James (who was now a registered animagus because of Lily’s persuasion) transformed and was casually eating from a soup bowl and clapping and dancing and being the lovable git that he is (or was.) Sirius threw the speech at him afterwards.
  • Remus had about 1000 pictures of the wedding. He insisted that this was needed and that they would thank him one day for it.
  • He was right.
  • People’s hair color and skin color would change without them knowing because George insisted that it was a good idea. (HELL YEAH LET’S DO IT)
  • They somehow convinced McGonagall to change into a cat and grab people’s tongues and James and Sirius would take turns saying, “Cat got your tongue?”
  • Remus would face palm in the background.
  • They somehow did it to Dumbledore and he somehow detached his tongue from his mouth and they were freaking out and Dumbledore was just giggling.
  • Her groom is….

Thanks for reading xx :)))

3

@mp938368 

“Oh I h-had so much fun with you, MP! The cookies w-were top notch and the hot ch-chocolate was the best! Let me know when you w-want to hang out, o-okay? And of course you c-can get a hug!” 

Techie opened his arms wide to welcome you in <3

“My hair’s a little g-gross though, so be c-careful,” he said, cheeks pink. 

Shuu Sakamaki x MP3 NSFW

It was late at night, Shuu knew his brothers were asleep. But he wanted Mp3-Chan so badly. Quietly taking out his precious lover he sat it on the pillow, making sure Mp3-chan would be comfortable.

As soon as Mp3 was still and at ease, he slowly unzipped his pants, taking out his erect member. “Don’t worry i’ll make sure to clean you after, Darling.” He said in a low seductive tone. As he was saying many filthy things to his prized possession, he was rubbing himself faster and faster. “Ahh…Hnnn..ngg..”  He opened his legs a bit more to get further down his shaft, using his free hand he took Mp3-chan, and released his fluids onto the material object. “If only you were human.” Shuu said as he took out lube, which he then proceeded to cover the cumed on object. He sighed lightly and then shoved Mp3-chan up his as, moving back and forth as a makeshift dildo. “M-mp-Chan..!! Ahhhh, H-harder…!!”
He had his please ridden face buried into his pillow so his moans would be muffled.

Reiji opened the door, glaring. “If you’re going to fuck an object, please be more quiet.”

Shuu disregarded this fact as he moaned louder and louder until he was practically screaming, he came one last time.

Reiji left,  and looked at Teacup-kun, “I’d never treat you like that.”

Edit: I was going to ignore this, but it got to the point where it’s really annoying and I am going to let my emotions do the talking. Don’t compare Kuvira to people like Tr*mp/H*tler because not only is it RACIST, it’s also a terrible comparison if you really think Kuvira would support the likes of those two and it just shows you didn’t pay attention to high school history. First of all, I do acknowledge the fact that Kuvira did a lot of shitty things so like don’t you dare come up to me and shit all over me (especially since Tumblr is full of people drooling over characters like Kylo Ren and Loki damn hypocrites). There are better comparisons you’ve could have done like Mao or Napoleon. 

I do headcanon Kuvira being bisexual and she is still a woman of color, just like me. So not only would it be insulting her character, it would be an insult to me as well. And I am not here for a debate, so if you wanna argue, good luck because I don’t want to waste my time bickering back and forth with someone whose opinion is not going to change.

anonymous asked:

MC feeling intimidated by RFA boys + V and Saeran bc they're so attractive? It mainly stems out of MC's zero self esteem/confidence about their appearance

These boys may be attractive, but so is everyone in the world! There is something about everything that makes them attractive (unless they’re an awful person)

~Admin MP

Yoosung:

  • He was so cute??
  • Seriously like wtf?
  • Those pretty sparkling eyes like an anime boy
  • That luscious, fluffy blonde hair
  • Though he was on the smaller side, there was something about him
  • Something that made him just so gorgeous
  • Especially when he smiled
  • It seemed like the whole world around him just lit up
  • His eyes creased, almost closing
  • Nose wrinkled
  • How did he even do that?
  • MC could barely get a word out around him because literally?
  • His entire being was so bright and beautiful
  • It totally made MC feel unworthy to talk to him
  • Especially when they looked the way they did
  • They weren’t even on the same LEVEL as Yoosung
  • But then Yoosung grabbed their hand
  • “Gosh, MC, you’re just so gorgeous…!”

Seven:

  • As soon as MC saw Seven face to face they were overwhelmed
  • Holy fu ck
  • Behind that joking, mischevious attitude was su c h an attractive man
  • Somehow, his bright red hair was tousled perfectly
  • Those glasses, which would look ridiculous on anyone else, complimented him so well? 
  • They added to the vibe of hot sexy nerd tbh
  • And behind those lenses glimmered golden eyes that just simmered
  • Looking straight into them flustered MC so much that they just stared at their feet
  • But when they looked up Seven had taken off his jacket
  • !!!!
  • H o l y fu c k mom
  • Those biceps??
  • MC honestly felt like a potato while standing next to him
  • Why did they even think they had a chance? Seven was just so perfect, his looks were-
  • “Hey, MC, come take a picture with me! We need that pretty face commemorated!”

Zen:

  • Oh god
  • HE LITERALLY HAD A MODELING AGENCY SCOUT HIM!!!!
  • Everything about Zen was just flawless (Zen: i know)
  • He had a perfect face??
  • A perfect body??
  • A perfect singing voice??
  • He was literally a Greek god
  • And when he laughed?
  • Angels probably cried actually honestly
  • His hair was so soft and long, it flowed down his back like an elegant waterfall
  • Don’t even get MC started on those EYES
  • Hot like the embers of a fire, smoldering and intense
  • The fact that he even looked twice at MC was shocking to them
  • He was a 12 while they were not even a 2
  • “Hello my lovely, perfect darling~”
  • Zen fucking loves MC and thinks they’re A+

Jumin: 

  • Epitome of tall, dark, and handsome
  • Incredibly intimidating no matter what (Unless you’ve seen him around Elizabeth 3rd)
  • Those steel, cool eyes seemed to see right through MC
  • They couldn’t even look Jumin directly in the face because of how attractive he was
  • When he ran a hand through his dark locks
  • Hooooo boi
  • His aristocratic, elegant features physically pain MC to look at
  • Especially since MC was nowhere near as marvelous as him
  • They didn’t deserve someone as unattractive as MC
  • MC should just leave now to save Jumin the trouble
  • Jumin took MC’s hand, linking their fingers together
  • “I am so very lucky to have someone as stunning as you, MC.”

V: (Admin MP: how would you describe V? Admin Rina: hot as fuck, like I’d bang him against a wall. Admin MP: o h)

  • Killer cheekbones
  • A white, wide smile
  • Long, elegant fingers
  • And don’t even talk to MC about his hair
  • It’s as soft as fucking velvet
  • And such a unique color?
  • The same with his eyes
  • They’re as clear as water 
  • MC feels like a rag next to V
  • He’s enchanting, a prince from a fairy tale
  • And they’re the pauper
  • V runs his thumb over MC’s cheekbone
  • “I love touching your face… it’s so soothing to me.”
  • No matter how MC looked, V would have chosen them for their soul

Saeran:

  • He looks very similiar to Seven
  • Yet he’s more angular and sharp?
  • His cheekbones are more prominent 
  • Looks more like a hungry panther than anything
  • Savagely enticing
  • Once his hair is dyed back to it’s original hair color
  • MC feels even more out of place around him
  • Although Saeran was shy, when he spoke to MC, they were even more shy
  • How was he so flawless? 
  • One day, MC mentioned that he was so much more stunning than them
  • He instantly whirled around and said “Are you joking? You’re pretty, no doubt about it.”