Most of my days are sunlight and dancing, bold color and screaming joy, and I might miss you but I don’t really miss you. Not like I used to.
And I thought that meant the worst was over, that the storm had passed. The sun had finally broken through the clouds.
But getting over you is not an instant sunrise.
You have to burn out of me, little by little. Over dozens of dawns and scores of sunsets.
Nights still pass that are longer than the time I’ve spent not thinking about you; they drag on and on. The stars feel far away and they don’t feel like home–they feel mocking and cruel, like everything I’ve ever read about love and fate was a lie.
Like last week, I was okay and getting better all the time, but we were talking about someone else, and I said, “she’s pretty and good for him but they just belong together” and I wasn’t talking about us but then you looked at me and I was…
All it took was one sentence, and the skies darkened. I got swept up in the wind, as the storm clouds descended.
And then I was slamming my hands against the dash of my car again, knocked twenty steps back for five steps forward again. Again and again and again.
Just when I start to rebuild my heart, you come in like a fucking hurricane, and I’m right back where I started.
Sometimes my heart breaks and my throat chokes up when i have memories of you. It’ll be a small thing like tonight i was walking with my bike in the rain and all i could remember was one of the last times i spoke to you in real life. That time i biked all the way to your house because I needed to have some closure. But after talking in your backyard for a bit, it started raining. I just remember waiting for my bus with you and I remember you giving me a hug for the very last time. At that moment…I didn’t feel anything so I knew I was over you. But in my head it seems so sad. Like we were really giving it all up and I cant believe I didn’t cry in the rain.
It’s hard to recollect the things I felt for you. But because I pushed all of them away, they keep coming back in bursts and I hate it because I know I’m over you but the part of my heart that still cares breaks a thousand times more because of these memories.
Prompt: You and Jeff were prone to breaking up and making up throughout your three and a half year relationship. This time, however, you knew it was different unlike the others; but you refused to let this be the end of you two, and you’d be damned if you were going to let Jeff Atkins walk away with your heart clenched in his hands.
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
the bloody fucking sunset because it's so glorious and they feel empowered
the sky when it's fucking snowing because it is pretty and un/conventional but makes them feel excited and relaxed and full of good intentions
the fucking lil moving rain cloud so that one second it rains and the other it doesn't because they make them analyze and appreciate life and makes them curios and smol
the sky during a fucking drizzle because it is small and cute but annoying as fuck and can make a whole city stop but when they are at home and watch it makes them feel cozy and happy
The fucking midday sun in the middle of the summer in a clear sky because it is the centre if the sky and attracts all eyes also it is hot as fuck and makes leos feel at home
a fucking clear blue sky on a sunny and breezy day because it is perfect and they love perfection and it makes them feel relaxed for once
the fucking grey sky during a storm because the lightning,the rain's sound and its smell calm them down and makes them feel warm as if they have expressed themselves enough; cozy.
the fucking black midnight clear sky because it is so dark and mysterious and beautiful (pure fucking beauty) and just makes them question life and feel alive
a fucking hurricane because they fucking can hell yeah it is scary but beautiful and a natural phenomenon and they feel afraid but at the same time want to run outside even if they know they would die. It wakes them up
a 11am 2 oktas(if they are called like this) ( partially covered/random lil white clouds) sky because it is perfect in its own way and is not cold nor hot and there is neither too much light nor too little and is just perfect and makes them feel protected
the fucking rainbow in the middle of a tropical storm (i know you expected it people) because it is unexpected and surprises them and makes them question life in a good way and makes them feel like anything is possible(=happy)
the fucking sunrise because it is soft and comforting and makes them smile and warms up their heart making it their beloved reward for waking up so early to see it