He is not a constellation.
You should not wish to be the cigarette touching his lips.
He will not appear through the fog and heal your wounds.
Only you can do that.
So get out of bed and put on some lipstick.
Stop falling at his feet.
You listen up. If you really loved this person they’re always going to be a part of you, and you’re not going to get over it, and maybe that sounds like a dismal thing you don’t want to hear right now but you loved them for a reason because they spoke to a part of you that’s at your core, and you don’t want to erase that, you want to still be open to those feelings and if you try to shut them out and pretend they never even got in there and you can just turn that off, well that’s a really cold thing and a cold place to be. And I’ve been through a couple of break-ups in my day, they’re never easy, and a friend of mine once said something to me that I found really, really touching. I was saying ‘I don’t know how I’m going to get over this one man it’s really messing with my head,’ and he said ‘Sometimes you don’t need to get over things, sometimes you need to recognize that life can be chaotic, and the chaos just exists.’ And that really calmed me down. And I think you’ve got to remember like do you want to get over it? I don’t know that you do, I think you want to move on and think of it as a piece of your past instead of something that’s going to mess with your present or that you’re worried about with your future. But you should let that be the past. If you really loved that person that’s a beautiful thing you don’t want to get over that and there’s probably a lot that you can take away from that even if you still do love them a little bit forever.
steps to moving on:
step 1: stop telling people about them. i know you want to tell the world how they broke your entire being. your reason for existing and now you have to exist without them, but stop telling people. it helps i promise. it helps you forget. and though you don’t want to forget. you have to. you’re getting there. keep your head up.
step 2: cut ties off, talk to them less. don’t check their social media everyday. just try to distance yourself. i know you’ll miss them. but it will get easier as time goes on.
step 3: don’t think they are coming back, they most likely aren’t, even if they say they are. don’t let them rule over you when in your heart you know they don’t even want you. you have to accept that they are not coming back. im sorry. this is one of the hardest steps.
step 4: don’t tell them things. i know when something happens they are the first person you wanna tell it to. i know when you’re breaking you wanna call them and hear them say it’s okay, but don’t. you can do this on your own.
step 5: if they tell you they miss you, DON’T SAY YOU MISS THEM. let them miss you. let them see what they lost.
step 6: stop arguing w them, i know it gives you a chance to talk to them and that’s all you want but stop. nothing you can say will bring them back. if they want to come back, they will.
step 7: don’t let them call you baby or babe. the false hope will hurt so much in the end. be strong. say no. i get it if your heart leaped out of your chest when they said it, but your hearts gonna crush again if you believe they love you and much as you love them. honey, if they loved you. they would be with you, case closed.
step 8: hang with friends. getting out and being productive will put your mind off the fact that they aren’t there anymore. & if your friends are busy, take a you day or week or as long as you need. get some snacks, turn on your old favorite movie you haven’t seen in forever, turn off your phone, and enjoy the present.
step 9: get rid of it, you know what im talking about. the stuff that reminds you of them. the stuff you cry over or lock away hidden. throw it away, burn it, rip it to shreds if you can. just let it go. let the memory of them go, sweetie.
step 10: make yourself your main priority, look in the mirror each morning and tell yourself “it’s their loss, im amazing.” because you are. learn from their absence. learn how strong you are for getting through this.
I never believed in love at first sight but for some reason, I felt something different when we first met. The more I got to know you, the more my feelings intensified. And when you smiled, I knew that I was in trouble.
I just hope that you’ll let me fall in your arms
If I could, I would chose you over and over and over again. But I can’t do it, not anymore. You aren’t there for me the way you were, your feelings for me have changed. You’re pulling away. I have to let you go because if I don’t you’ll destroy me. So I have to start choosing me.
I’m trying so damn hard to move on, to be happy with my life as it is, but it just feels wrong. I don’t want to live without you. I’ve spent far too long offering my heart in my hands to just shove it back in my chest and carry on like it doesn’t hurt.
how many of these disgustingly heartbreaking letters will I write until I move on? // excerpt from a letter to him