moving forward with open eyes

If you think you’re worthless, stop scrolling right now and read.

I’m writing this for a specific mutual, but it isn’t only true for one person, so read on.

You know those inspirational posts you see people reblog every day?

Stuff about people all throughout history who failed and went bankrupt and were depressed and were told they weren’t good enough - and yet somehow they rose above it and defied all those notions to become heroes and legends and history makers and culture movers. And the post always ends with “so don’t be hard on yourself when you mess up” and it’s all nice and sweet and pretty. Maybe you scroll past them. Maybe you hardly ever see them on your dash at all.

Maybe you’re among those who reblogs these posts.

But maybe every time you hit the reblog or the like button, your brain is whispering “this isn’t about you” and “yes people can do amazing things, but not you” and “ah yes amazing stories, too bad it will never happen to you” and you listen to these whisperings and you laugh and shake your head…

Because you know exactly where you stand: worthless. irredeemable. a loser. a lost cause.

Please.

Please.

Listen to me.

As your friend.

As a stranger who doesn’t know you. Who doesn’t have to know you, or your failings, or your depression, or your anxiety, or your embarrassments, or your deepest darkest most heinous crimes.

Stop.

Just stop.

Look up. Look around you. Open. Your. Eyes. Are they open? Good. Keep them open. Don’t ever close them again. See the world. See you: a human being, valid, flawed, journeying, changing, growing, scraping, failing, rising, a masterpiece that will never be made again.

You are beautiful. You who think you are overweight and lazy. You are beautiful. You who think you are stupid and uneducated. You are beautiful. You who think you are a loser, and amount to nothing. You are beautiful. You who bleed and ache and never rest. You are beautiful.

You have worth.

Want to know a secret? If you wake up in the morning and tell yourself you’re not going to amount to anything that day, then you aren’t going to. If you go to bed at night thinking nothing will change tomorrow, then you are going to change nothing.

Because you’ve resigned yourself to that lie. And it is a lie, friend. A straight-out, soul-condemning, out-of-the-pit, self-deprecating, self-pitying lie. A lie you don’t have to believe. A lie you should not believe.

If you stand in the corner and bow your head and stare at the ground, you’ve already lost the battle without fighting. This is a surrender in which there is no honor, and in it there is no hope.

Life isn’t easy, friend. Life isn’t fair. It’s hard. And getting things done is hard. Some days, just getting up out of bed is hard. Just breathing. Just doing homework. Just going to work. Just trying to keep the dishes and trash from overflowing.

But we do it anyway.

Why? Because there’s life to live. There are choices to be made. Jokes to laugh at. Awkward conversations to be had. Art to mess up and start over on. Jobs to work. Pizza to be eaten.

We do it anyway.

So guess what?

You do it anyway too.

Why? Because of this:

You are special.

Right now, this second, turn off the voice that hears these Disney-fied words and scoffs and ignores them. Listen.

There is not a human being who has ever lived or ever will live on this planet that is not important, that is not here for a reason. No life is worthless, and most certainly not yours. My God doesn’t make worthless things, and he doesn’t make mistakes. There are no extra pieces in this universe, no spare parts. He made you. And he made you for a purpose, and that purpose is not to sit in your room, afraid to try, afraid to love, afraid to hope, afraid to climb and fall and hurt and get back up again.

Want to know another secret? You aren’t alone. Every single human being in the history of everything has struggled with feeling worthless at some point in their life. Every single one. That is not a lie. Your feelings of worthlessness are not what is special about you. You are what is special about you. The God who created you is what is special about you.

No matter what you’re going through, no matter what you’ve done, no matter what you have failed to do, someone else has gone through worse. Sometimes, a lot worse.

Oh, now you feel invalidated. “Why can’t I just believe in myself? Other people have it worse, I shouldn’t complain, I should just try harder, but I know trying harder isn’t going to help, so what’s the point.”

Guess what?

Stop that too.

Stop it dead in its tracks.

Kill that thought. Every day. Every morning. Every minute it shows its ugly lying face. Kill it and put it to rest. Stack headstones on top of it and move away, far far way, friend.

Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about. I don’t know where you’ve been, but you don’t know where I’ve been either. Don’t ignore hope because you think it’s for other people. Don’t keep yourself from making an effort, and pushing yourself forward. Bury the lie. You have worth. You are loved. You are important. God does not make worthless things.

One of my favorite lyrics says “How does it end when the war that you’re in is just you against you against you? You’ve got to learn to love, learn to love your enemies too.”

Learn to love.

Your enemy.

Yourself.

Start learning to see you the way God sees you.

See you the way I see you.

Perfect.

Worthwhile.

Amazing.

Just at the very beginning.

Every single day you wake up is a brand new start.

A bright new chance. Every. Single. One. You will never stop getting chances for as long as you are here, so why dismiss them? Isn’t that the most beautiful thing there is? You get to keep trying. Every single day. You have the gift to go again, try again, start again, live again, breathe again, hope again.

Guess what. When the morning is wasted, the afternoon is still there. When the afternoon is wasted, the evening is still there. When the evening is wasted, the night is still there. And then morning comes again.

So the next time you see a motivational post, an inspiring reblog, a story about how someone overcame something horrible, and turned it into something amazing, look long and hard and take courage, find hope in that. Stop dismissing it as being from a universe you have no part in. Stop putting yourself to that measuring stick and turning away because you’re not there yet.

You’re looking at the end result. At some point, they were standing in your shoes. They couldn’t see the end. They couldn’t see what they might or might not amount to. They had no idea, just like you now. Just exactly like you.

Hope, my friend. Every time you start to think “I can/will never” do this or that or amount to anything or accomplish anything… Hope. Stop those thoughts immediately. Kill them. Bury them. Never stop burying them. They are lies and you are better than them.

Drive them out. Open your eyes. Look around. Pick yourself up. Brush away the tears. “I will try. My God doesn’t make worthless things, so I am not worthless. My God does not create without meaning, so I have meaning. I am here for a reason. Today I will live to find out what that reason is for today. And tomorrow I will hope again.”

Life is hard, my friend. Stop beating yourself up. You are worth more and capable of more than you can ever imagine or hope or dream. Don’t let your past or present failures stop you or beat you down. Keep going, keep hoping, keep killing the lies. You are bigger than them, you go beyond them. And God is greater, and he knows your heart. Trust him. Wake up. Open your eyes. Move forward. Keep your eyes open.



“You’ve got all that emotion that’s heaving like an ocean
And you’re drowning in a deep, dark well
I can hear it in your voice that if you only had a choice
You would rather be anyone else

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He made your precious heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

I know it’s hard to hear it when that anger in your spirit
Is pointed like an arrow at your chest
When the voices in your mind are anything but kind
And you can’t believe your Father knows best

I love you just the way that you are
I love the way He’s shaping your heart

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Well how does it end when the war that you’re in
Is just you against you against you
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

You can’t expect to be perfect
It’s a fight you’ve gotta forfeit
You belong to me whatever you do
So lay down your weapon, darling
Take a deep breath and believe that I love you

Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself
Be kind to yourself

Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies
Gotta learn to love, learn to love
Learn to love your enemies too

Three shades of a man (a second chapter)

Summary: You have seen Bucky Barnes at his best and his worst, and he asks you to help him through it all.

Characters: Bucky x Reader Warnings: NSFW, 18+ ONLY; some mild violence and so much smut. Get out of here if you’re not over 18 please.

A/N: The second story in a series of three. Apparently I like angsty things? Who knew. Can’t figure out a tag list just yet because I’m mostly mobile and I’m not good at Tumblr mobile, but will do one for the last chapter, let me know if you would like added. Feedback and comments are always more than welcome. 

Read Part 1
Read Part 3

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by couplenotes

Anxious, desperate, panicked
The day was drenched in a silvery grey mist that seemed unable to clear. It blanketed the city around you, snaking through streets and alleys, finding the cracks and crevices of every building, overflowing into any space it could find. It made you feel restless, itchy, like you were waiting for something to happen.

It had been two weeks since you last spoke to Bucky, the only communication in that time was a photo he texted you, of a deep red sunrise illuminating the craggy black rocks of a mountain range. You didn’t know where, or what he was doing, but he liked to send you pictures when he could. He said sunrises always reminded him of you - a beautiful vision that made him open his eyes and keep moving forward. That evening, you responded with a picture of a dazzling sunset, swirls of purple and orange painting the sky. You said sunsets always reminded you of him - an explosion of wild colour and brilliant light, a perfect end to the day.

Keep reading

l.s. | REASONS TO LIVE © 2016

i. the stars. i spend an hour making eye contact with burning balls of gas brighter than my future could ever be, but i don’t hold it against them. a stars goal is to brighten the sky, and by proxy they brighten my life, little glittering reminders that even when the world ends on earth the stars will still shine.

ii. your smile. i thought the stars were the brightest thing in the world until i met you. our friendship became a lighthouse, a beacon of warmth to guide through rough seas, and the fire sheltered beneath your ribs is a special kind of burning. i have never been less afraid of the flames.

iii. magic. not the kind that harry potter plays with, though that too has its place, but the kind that makes its home in the dawns and dusks of the world, in rainbows and storm clouds and ice cream. the magic inherent in the air after rain and in that moment right before you fall asleep.

iv. home. not just a place. a feeling. coffee in new york and book shops in yorkshire. a space carved for yourself, built brick by brick only metaphorically because there is nothing more fluid and changing than home. it flutters like a butterfly some days, and on others it is as stable as an old oak tree, roots running so deep they caress the core of the earth.

v. life. the antithesis of death. that life continues on and would do so even without me is, in its own way, a comfort. with life comes food and friendship, video games and new books. progression too, because the world isn’t stagnant, isn’t frozen, and i figure that if it can move forward, walk into the unknown with open eyes, then so can i.

early morning kisses

i found this idea on a prompt list “lazy morning kisses before they’ve even opened their eyes, still mumbling half-incoherently, not wanting to wake up” and couldn’t get it out of my head - so here is my take on it. hope you enjoy! 


When Mike wakes up birds are chirping outside. A warm, soft breeze is coming through the open windows. Summer had arrived in Hawkins a couple of weeks ago and if their party is not riding their bikes to the ice cream parlour, they run barefoot through the woods and fields, collecting grass stains on their clothes and their feet becoming so dirty they never quite manage to scrub it all off. They don’t care. They feel safe and free and young.

Mike rolls his head to the right to look at the boy sleeping next to him. He smiles.

Day 41 of waking up before Will, who still sleeps no more than 4 hours most of the time and then listens to music with his walkman until Mike wakes up.

Night 28 without nightmares. Will usually starts kicking and screaming when the Mind Flayer visits him in his dreams but tonight they both managed to sleep uninterruptedly.

The smaller boy is lying on his side facing Mike who is letting his gaze slowly travel over his face, taking everything in, pleased that the circles under his eyes appear to be a bit lighter than they were yesterday. He raises his hand and softly brushes Will’s hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear and letting his index finger lightly trace down the shell. He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to Will’s cheek, then another to his nose and a lingering one to his forehead. He lets his lips ghost over Will’s eyelids, smiling when they begin to flutter.

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Tales from the Special Branch
Seven-Four Alpha
Murder Board

This has been a labor of love for a series I hold very dear to me. We can all attest to how amazing @femmequixotic is at building an incredible world and giving us an amazing crime fighting/case solving story with a lot of heart and soul. 

This series has a lot to take in, especially when looking at the case Seven-Four Alpha is trying to solve. As a result, I took it upon myself to create this murder board of sorts in order to keep track of pertinent characters and how they factor into this world. This has been updated to include everything from the first 3 parts of the series (Can’t Get You Out Of My Head, Lost In Your Arms, and These Secrets In Me) and I’ll continue to update it as we progress. 

It may not answer all the questions we have, but it may keep things straight moving forward. At the very least, it has opened up my eyes to characters I hadn’t thought as important players to keep my eye on. As you can tell, at the center of this chart is Althea Whitaker. Multiple times I tried to have Draco Malfoy or Harry Potter at the center, but the more I followed the connection between all groups, the more Althea emerged as a character that pretty much has ties to everyone. Yaxley’s are ones to keep an out for. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy and that it’s useful. There are some conclusions I drew on my own, please feel free to ignore if you do not agree. More than anything, this is how I am seeing the story at the moment. If you have any questions, let me know. Please pay attention to the key at the bottom, to help you understand the diagram. All mistakes are my own (I tried my best with the spelling, but I am sure I messed up a name here or there). I’ll leave you with questions I am looking to have answered as the updates on Dare To Think, continue.

Questions:

  1. At one point Seven-Four Alpha acquired the Resurrection Stone, then Wrightson and his team took it, what happened to it and how will it come back? What has it been used for?
  2. Will we meet Blaises’ dad and will he be pertinent to the story?
  3. Soul Grass? What’s happening there again…Dementors? Azkaban?
  4. Will Bellatrix make a comeback?
I’m Staying - Unknown’s story

…This is one of my first requests.  And I’ve finally gotten around to writing it.  Because no more school!  And I’m finally catching my breath with my job.

Summary: In my Ideal World, after the Secret Endings, and after they are an established couple, Unknown discovers something about MC that she’s been trying to hide. (2nd person narrative)

Rating:  M for mature, because it’s not explicit, but it is there.

Length:  Almost 1600 words


Keep reading

a symptom of ptsd i never realized i was doing

(*sexual assault tw*)

so this is really personal but I feel like I need to share this in case someone else is doing this as well and doesn’t realize that it is a STRONG symptom of PTSD and can be very dangerous if not addressed in one’s self. Ok, so I am a survivor of SA as well as a lot of people that I know (too many). Since then I have had a few sexual partners and I perceived my sex life as healthy because the people I was with weren't pressuring sex upon me, unfortunately, I was wrong. It wasn't unhealthy because of the people I was with, it was because of the boundaries I had set up around sex. I was allowing my partner at times to have intercourse with me when I didn’t want it and the aftermath would be depressing for me. I thought many times “just get through it” “you’ll enjoy it once you get going” but the bottom line was I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE SEX. and my partner had no idea because I didn’t communicate. This is unhealthy on so many levels. it was unfair to my partner who had no idea they were causing me stress, but mostly it was detrimental to myself because I was inhibiting my trauma from being healed properly. 

This is a symptom because unconsciously I thought that if I would not consent to a sexual act then I would be forced to. fight or flight isn’t always shutting down completely or freaking out. sometimes its silent acts of submission. part of me thought I was protecting myself. when in reality if I would have just honestly said no then my partner would have completely respected that and not thought of me less. 

I don't like sharing this kind of thing on here but this is quite a revelation for me towards recovery and I'm really hoping if anyone out there is doing the same thing that this will open their eyes and help them move forward towards healthy sexual relationships after an SA trauma.

Horoscope and Tarot Overview for                                       August 27- September 2, 2017

Sunday- The Moon is in intense Scorpio all day with a beneficial trine to Rx Neptune and a sextile to Rx Pluto along with Jupiter sextiling Saturn bringing a new way to look at the world in front of us, which helps us accomplish anything our hearts desire in a practical, yet exciting way. Anything started today (despite Mercury Rx) will be sure to succeed.   

Monday-While the Moon remains in Scorpio she squares Mars and trines Rx Chiron which may cause a bit of angst and sensitivity this morning. Rx Mercury irritates Rx Pluto continuing the trend but also adding a bit of questioning to the day, we look closely at our motives and anything else that needs to be done. Avoid self-doubt, it will get in the way.  The Moon moves into freedom loving Sagittarius then squares Rx Mercury and semi-squares Rx Pluto to bring that miscommunicated energy along for the evening hours ride. There is a softer lunar trine to Venus in Cancer later tonight that helps us sooth our wounds and regroup our energy.    

Tuesday- The Moon stays in Sagittarius with a square to the Sun and a semi-square to Jupiter this morning then they semi square each other to ramp up the need to wander, explore and find a new way to proceed with our plans. We may feel unbalanced, or pulled in two different directions, giving us a bit of a setback back, but if we stay mindfully connected to a solid plan, there will be good results will follow.   

Wednesday- The Moon stays in Sagittarius with an alignment to Saturn, a sextile to Jupiter and a trine to Mars refueling our brilliant ideas, especially those that include freedom and pushing boundaries. Stay connected to reality yet stay on the path to helpful strength.   

Thursday-The Moon moves into strong Capricorn early this morning giving us some much-needed grounding. There are lunar trines to Rx Mercury and the Sun, these aspects try to help us stay connected to our attempts at communication. Venus bumps into Saturn keeping us on a path to repairing relationship issues because we can see them so much more clearly. Rx Mercury moves back into proud Leo which may block any further attempts and fixing what’s wrong.   

Friday-The Moon is in Capricorn, and Mars quincunx Rx Chiron which my infiltrate our dreams with some self-doubt, however the morning gets clearer as it proceeds with a sextile to Rx Neptune and an alignment with Rx Pluto helping us remember past dreams so we can create what we truly need. Staying in touch with fantasy moves us forward.   

Saturday- During the Moon in Capricorn Jupiter and the Sun reconnect trying to help us settle our energy with pragmatic thoughts. However, Mars trines Uranus turning any semblance of propriety upside down. Our brains are reset to move mountains and explore the original possibilities from the beginning of the week. We are ready to progress to a new level of experimentation no matter the consequences.  

Tarot Cards of the Week- The Tower, 3 of Swords and King of Pentacles-ah yes change, lots of shifting and scary first-time events are ahead of us this week, but we can suffer the growing pains, learn and move forward if we are strong, focused and open minded.   

Chakras: third eye, throat, solar plexus, sacral 

Crystals: amethyst, blue agate, citrine and carnelian 

Aromatherapy: rose geranium, chamomile, lemon and orange 

Yoga- stay ahead of distraction with strong vinyasa and restorative poses.    

emily-mk  asked:

Hello I was wondering if you can do Sidon meeting his s/o's family

(Hehehe~ This one was fun~ You have a younger brother in this for the sake of content, hope that’s okay. His name is Bobby because I’m creative. Enjoy!~)

Meeting The Family

Word Count: 2509
Warnings: Fluff, mentions of violence at the end, anxious thoughts




“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” you murmur coming to a stop in the middle of the Great Zora Bridge.

“Love we have been planning this visit for a month, it would be a shame to let all that effort go to waste,” Sidon replied as he also came to a halt letting his hand rest on your shoulder to give it a comforting squeeze. That one squeeze seemed to make that tense feeling coursing throughout your entire body release some stress but you still couldn’t shake all of it off. “Not to mention, it’s about time your family got to meet me.”

You let out a soft sigh and nod your head offering a timid smile knowing that he is right as always. You’ve been wanting to do this for so long though that didn’t make it any less nerve-wracking.

None of your family members have ever seen Sidon, they don’t even know his name! It was always something that you wanted to mention to them but every time you got so nervous that you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. Now you are introducing your nine-foot Zora boyfriend who just so happens to be the Prince and future King of the entire Zora Domain. You have no idea how they are going to react when you finally break the news to them. You were still in shock about Sidon being yours, you could only imagine what they’ll say and everything that they say does not make you feel any better.

“Darling.” You snap out of your worried trance to look up at Sidon who is now kneeling in front of you a warm smile on his face when you meet eyes with him. “I fear that you may drown in all of your doubts and worries before we even reach the house, my pearl,” he said with an amused chuckle and you turn your head your cheeks flushing embarrassed.

“Sorry, I just can’t help but think about what they might say… I never told them who you are,” you confess as you fiddle with your clothing staring at the rocky mountains that outlined the river running beneath the bridge, anything to keep from meeting eyes with your lover.

Sidon is quiet for just a moment before standing up and dusting himself off before holding a hand out to you. “Then let’s make this a pleasant surprise,” he states confidently and you can’t help but smile a little as you take hold of his larger hand. “I will be right here, no matter what transpires today. Nothing they could say will make me reconsider my feelings for you.”

The confidence in his voice must be contagious because you’re sure that some of it sinks into your skin and chases your nerves away. You nod and he nods in return letting his fingers curly to gently grasp your hand so that the two of you may continue your journey to your childhood home.

Sidon seems endlessly curious about everything you pass by when you draw nearer to your home and start to recognize your surroundings. You cannot blame him; he has wanted to see the place that you grew up in ever since you mentioned it to him when you first started dating.

Back in the Zora Domain you had been surrounded by his childhood; King Dorephan and even some of the citizens would tell you all about the people he had grown up with, the places that he went, and all the things he used to do as a child. The King himself loved to tell you all kinds of stories the little rascal that Sidon used to be when he was young, much to Sidon’s disdain. Now he could see everything that influenced you to become the person that you are today.

However, as things become more familiar to you, your nerves slowly return crawling up from your feet and inching their way up your body. When you finally spot the small village, everything skyrockets and it’s almost impossible for you to move forward as your eyes fall upon the familiar building standing near the open grassy fields that is your home. It is a little far from the village square so that saves you the terror of having to walk straight through the center of town practically parading Sidon through the streets for everyone to see. Standing here though, just the walk to your old front door seems like such a daunting task.

“This was a bad idea, we should go,” you say pulling back on Sidon’s hand as you take a few steps back. Sidon, however, does not budge and his hand gives you another gentle squeeze of reassurance before he takes a small step forward ushering for you to do the same. For a brief moment, you remain frozen in place but then you meet his eyes and see the tenderness in his gaze your legs stop feeling like jelly and move forward to follow your guide.

How funny that the one who has never been here must lead the way to your house.

You point him in the right direction and although Sidon picks up the pace the walk to the door takes hours, or that’s what it feels like at least. Eventually, you make it there and you can already see someone peeking through the curtains of the house’s window. Climbing the stone steps, you take the lead and warn Sidon to be careful of his head considering how this house was not really built with someone of such a tall stature as his in mind. The Zora must bend over a little as a precaution releasing your hand in the process so as not to prevent you from rushing up the door fueled by some new energy. Probably excitement but mostly fear

Yeah, definitely fear.

You’re just about to knock on the door when it suddenly flings open and your brother’s form replaces it, standing in the archway looking up at you with a big smile. “You’re here!” He exclaims almost in disbelief though you knew that everyone had been informed that you would be coming today. You smile back at him and he just laughs before leaping up at you giving you only a second to react and catch him in your arms, hugging him close to your chest.

“You knuckle-head, you could’ve taken me out,” you scold though you can hear yourself laughing with him as he wraps his arms around your neck giggling giddily.

“Good,” he says looking up at you with that familiar mischievous glint in his eyes that you hadn’t realized you missed, “then you would have to stay here while you recover!” He replies smiling smugly like he’s proud of that fact.

You playfully scoff and let him slip to the ground so his feet can touch while one of your arm wraps around his neck while the other gives his head a thorough nuggie. “You little punk!” He squirms in your arm trying to wriggle his way out of your grasp.

You’re so caught up in your little punishment that you completely forget about Sidon’s presence until you hear him let out a deep chuckle and your attention as well as the attention of your brother is directed towards the Zora. “Oh please, don’t let my presence interrupt this happy reunion,” he says smiling at the two of you fondly. You laugh a little but release your brother regardless, letting your hands sit on his shoulders turning him to face Sidon.

“Who’re you?” Your brother asks rather rudely and you wonder if your parents told him why you were visiting or it may be that he just doesn’t realize Sidon is the one.

“Hey, be nice,” you scold, genuinely this time, clearing your throat before speaking again. “Um, Sidon this is my brother Bobby,” you say whilst gesturing towards your brother, “Bobby this is my… boyfriend Sidon,” you gesture back to Sidon who smiles and gives the young boy a friendly wave.

“So, you’re Bobby? My pearl, has told me much about you-!”

Bobby quickly cuts the Zora off when he puts his hands on either side of Sidon’s face surprising both of you. “This is the one who stole you away from me? I didn’t know you were into fish,” he huffs before storming back into the house leaving you both in stunned silence.

Well, that went as well as you had expected.

“B-Bobby, get back over here! I’m so sorry Sidon, I didn’t think that he would do something like that. He’s usually really nice to people,” you say as you hurry into the house after your brother, “Mom! Dad! I’m home,” you call out before turning back to the door waving for Sidon to come home glad that it isn’t too small for him to fit through.

“No, no dear it is fine. It was certainly a surprise but I would not say I didn’t expect a little negative response,” Sidon said as he entered the living room of the home looking around curiously having to bend down ever so slightly because there wasn’t quite enough head room.

“Oh, honey it’s so glad to finally see you,” your mom says greeting you with a warm hug that you happily reciprocate.

“It’s good to see you too,” You pull away from her and then give your dad an equally warm hug. It really did feel great to see them again especially after so long. Your dad pulls back and smiles at you before his eyes wander over to the other visitor in his home. “Oh,” you move closer to Sidon and take hold of his hand to help steady yourself. He gives you a gentle squeeze in return and you take a deep breath but Sidon speaks before you can even begin your introduction.

“My name is Sidon, Prince of the Zora, and lover of your wonderful child. It is a pleasure to meet you two.” He greets laying on that princely charm extra thick with a polite bow of his head.

Your parents both stare at him for a moment before their gazes shift to you as if wanting confirmation that what they have just been told is true, like the fact that you’re holding hands is not quite enough. A sheepish smile appears on your lips and you nod your head slowly. Both adults look at each other seeming to have a full conversation with just their gaze and each second of silence that ticks by just makes you more uneasy.

Finally, after what feels like forever, your mother breaks the silence and smiles at the two of you before saying, “Well Sidon, it is a pleasure to meet you too. I must say this is a surprise, we weren’t expecting someone like you,” those words make you freeze in place and for a second you think that she is going to react just like Bobby did. “We’ve never had a prince in our home before, honey you should’ve told me, I would’ve tidied up more.”

Sidon chuckles and shakes his head, “No everything is perfect, you take very good care of your home.”

Your mother smiles clearly flattered by such a sweet compliment but waves his compliment off. “Oh, you. Please have a seat, shall I get you anything? Water, lemonade, anything?”

Surprisingly, everything went up hill from there, better than you could’ve ever expected. You knew that your parents would be apprehensive about Sidon but that only seemed to last the first hour, after everyone sat down and got to talk over some of your mom’s homemade lemonade and cookies, they were practically just as in love with him as you were. Your mother loved how kind he was and definitely adored all the flattery that he threw her way so her initial worries about his rather intimidating demeanor were washed away with those. Your father seemed to like his respect and politeness that helped to reassure him that you were in safe hands.

Bobby, on the other hand, was a struggle.

For most of the visit he only observed the meeting, watching the group as they talked only occasionally coming closer to steal some lemonade or a cookie. He lurked in the far corners of the room or behind the couches the four of you were sitting on always staring daggers at the Zora intruding on his life. Eventually, you became fed up with Bobby’s refusal to even talk to Sidon, because everything was going so perfect why did he need to be so difficult? You were finally comfortable being with your parents and the Zora you didn’t want anyone else to be upset about this.

“Bobby, Sidon is not here to hurt anybody just come and meet him, he was really looking forward to meeting you.” You say turning your head to face the Hylian boy hiding behind the chair that you and the Zora were sitting on. Your brother only huffed in response and you rolled your eyes grabbing his shirt to keep him from leaving. “If you want to say something then say it, you punk.”

“I don’t want to say anything to him,” Bobby groans trying to pull away but your vice grip prevents him from escaping so he crosses his arms over his chest.
Sidon beats you to the punch once again making an eager suggestion to the boy, “Perhaps you would feel better if you learned more about me, Bobby?” He smiled wide flashing his signature sharp-toothed smile.

The boy looked up and his eyes widened ceasing his efforts to escape in favor of staring at the Zora’s wide smile. “Whoa, how many teeth do you have?”
Sidon grinned and you laugh softly as you let go of Bobby’s shirt knowing that he won’t leave while under Sidon’s charm. “Much more than any Hylian and each one is razor sharp for fighting and hunting, it is quite a vicious bite,” The Zora explained chomping at the air to show off his teeth to Bobby completely enraptured by the mention of fighting.

“Cool! Have you ever fought anybody? Did you get that scar from a fight? What happened? Was it bloody?”

“My friend, I have fought more enemies than I care to count. Funny that you should mention that, this scar is actually from one of my proudest and toughest battles. Now that one was bloody, you see, there was a village not too far from here…”

You shake your head with a soft laugh as Sidon tells his story, turning back to pick up your glass from the coffee table but stopped halfway when you noticed the look on your parents’ faces. Wary and concerned, clearly, they were not as impressed by Sidon’s battle story as Bobby was.

“But I didn’t stop there! Within the disgusting belly of the great beast I continued to fight piercing its flesh with my spear!”

You chuckle rather stiffly and then take a sheepish sip of your lemonade. At least they were bonding.

Sugar We’re Going Down

Originally posted by enalgunlugar

Summary: Modern College AU: Reader has been dating Ben for months now and comes over for their usual date night. While waiting for Ben to return from the store, reader chats with Kylo, her long time best friend, only to have the evening take an unexpected turn.

A/N: This is based off of the drabble I posted the other day with the Solo triplets haha, I figured it would be easier to do a fic than try to format another drabble. This way it’s all in one place. Also this totally broke my heart but I loved writing it sooo yeah, enjoy, let me know what you guys think! Also all credit for the TripletAU goes to @kyren

Warnings: Fighting, language


Friday night, one of your favorite times of the week. It was a relief from the weekdays prior and only the intro to your weekend. Especially being a student, you couldn’t help but be ecstatic everytime Friday rolled around and relieved you of your classes. Friday also meant you got to see your boyfriend, Ben Solo. It was the day of the week you both agreed to have declared an official date night. Though Ben almost always made it an evening spent inside his bedroom, he at least made an effort to spoil you.

With a smile you knocked on the white wood door, dropping your arm to your side after a moment. Happily humming to yourself, you teetered on the balls of your feet, bringing your hands in front of you. Your eyes started scanning the halls, observing the surrounding apartments. 

Moments later, the door swung open, revealing Kylo. His dark hair was pulled into some kind of man bun variation, a black hoodie unzipped to show his black tank top, a new subtle septum adorning his nose. You gave him a smile as his brows raised.

“Hey stranger.”

He stuttered, his hand awkwardly trying to grip onto the door.

“H-hey. Long time no see.”

“Is Ben here?”

Clearing his throat Kylo shook his head, his expression seeming to fall for a moment. 

“No, he’s out getting something at the store.”

You nodded, “Oh ok… Can I come in?”

Kylo hesitated, gulping. He shrugged, moving to the side as he gestured for you to enter.

“Y-yeah sure.”

You smiled, patting him on the shoulder as you sauntered into the living room, plopping onto the familiar grey sectional couch.

“You wouldn’t have kicked out your best friend would you?”

The words hit him in an odd way, a way he wasn’t expecting to feel. Seeing you alone brought up feelings he was trying to ignore, hearing you continue to speak however was only making it worse. He couldn’t deny that things changed in your friendship ever since you had started dating Ben, things he couldn’t help but feel mournful over. 

You hadn’t sat and talked for months, hadn’t gone to concerts that you used to go to, no longer visited shops you frequented together, no longer played video games you used to love. It was as if you had faded almost entirely from Kylo’s life. With the way Ben kept you exclusively to himself, not even bringing you around his brothers much unless you were up against a wall they were behind, Kylo was sure he had lost his best friend.

“No…I wouldn’t do that to you.”

You smiled at him warmly, patting the spot next to you.

“Of course you wouldn’t, come sit with me.”

Hesitantly Kylo sat on the couch, a cushion away from you. Arching a brow you watched him seat himself, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with you. Compared to how Kylo acted around you, this was like having an entirely different person before you. He hardly looked at you, spoke even fewer words than usual, seemed hesitant to get anywhere closer to you, as if trying to avoid you. Opting to shrug it off, you sighed, reclining back as you put your feet up on the ottoman. It was likely just Kylo being his brooding self. 

“So what’s been new with you? I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

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Roses are Red Ch. 2

(Click OP if read more link doesn’t show.)

Feedback is appreciated!!!

Click Here for Ch. 1


Relationships were weird. They start when two people agree. They end when one person decides. Of course, there’s one person who felt more than the other. It was impossible for two people to be the same level of invested in each other.

Then there were the boundaries. Having to know in your heart when to say I love you. How did anyone do it when it was never certain the other person loved you back? How horrifying to confess the most ardent emotion in your soul only to have it shrugged off or unwanted.

How wonderful and miraculous for those who get to hear it said back.

There’s more boundaries. When is it okay to touch where? When does a cuddle turn into a love filled night? Are they afraid?

What about their end? At one point does it stop being worth the struggle? At what point does one person just stop feeling so elated by the other? Where is that point where the emotion wanes?

And how, God how do people deal with the heartbreak? Of having the person who completes their mind and soul snatched away by Cupid’s anti-love arrow or a pair of wandering eyes or….

Or having never got the chance at all?

***

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ice-mint  asked:

Has tiny!Obi Wan been confused with a fairy or some magical being ever ? And if yes what happened in that mission ? Thanks , I love your stories :D

‘Why did I agree to this?’ Obi-Wan thought absently as he heard the jingle of the lock in the box turning, steadily pulling the mechanism into action. ‘Oh right, for the good of the order, yaddayadda. I hate you Mace.’ He thought even as the platform he was on slowly rose.

“Oh daddy he’s so pretty, like those fairy stories you told me about.” A little gasp exclaimed as Obi-Wan was fully in the light.

“Only the best for you princess.” There was a warm chuckle that Obi-Wan identified as his target. But Obi-Wan only caught glimpses of them as he started to move, the signal inside the box hidden by the music that started to play, activating the wings on Obi-Wan’s back.

They started to flutter as Obi-Wan went to his toes and then started a slow but grace dance, twirling on the polished floor that made up his ‘dance floor’.

In basic, Obi-Wan was wearing a sparkly red and yellow outfit with mechanical wings on his back. He had been given long lasting makeup that made his face sparkle and gave him an ethereal look on his face and he had to shave his beard.

He looked nothing like knight Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“He’s so graceful.” The little girl cooed as she stared at Obi-Wan dancing, eyes wide and adoring. Obi-Wan almost felt bad for being a spy in their manor and did an extra twirl before he heard the warning noise from inside the box that told him the music was about to end.

He carefully swirled to the platform and did a graceful bow, arms extended as the music ended and his back bent.

“Awwwww, its over?” He heard as the platform slowly sunk back down, letting Obi-Wan breath.

“Yes but you can rewind it as many times as you want sweetpea and make him dance all day long if you want.”

“Yay!”

‘…I take it back, I don’t feel sorry for spying now.’ Obi-Wan thought in horror as he heard the key being turned again in the lock.

()()()

“You need to calm down.” Knight Fisto offered calmly to the young padawan, remaining on his knees as they waited for the signal to kick in.

“Easy for you to say, what if they discovered Master?” Anakin offered the knight, worriedly glancing between the open feed and the manor.

“Then he’s fully capable of escaping on his own and alerting us to his problem. Has he contacted you through the bond?” Fisto raised his brows at the blond.

“…No. But Obi-Wan wouldn’t do it if he thought it was dangerous for me to get involved.” Anakin stared at the feed before looking at the Nautolan. “I can’t help but worry alright? This is…he’s alone. He’s NEVER fully alone and there are guards and what if he needs us an-”

“Padawan.” Kit reached out and placed his hands on the others shoulders, giving him a serious look. “Trust in your master.”

“…But what if he’s hurt?”

“Does he feel hurt?”

Anakin hesitated before reaching through their bond, rousing Obi-Wan’s curiosity in return before he pulled back and shook his head. “No, he feels frustrated…but not hurt.”

“Then trust in him.” Kit smiled and settled back to wait in the darkness of the night.

Anakin sighed a bit and continued watching the feed, almost jerking in surprise when an hour later the information started to fill it from an opened signal inside the manor. “Oh, he’s opened the line.”

“Good, now we wait for him to arrive.” The other Jedi offered peacefully.

It took an additional hour before Kit spotted a small shape in one of the windows that started to climb down the wall by using minor cracks that no one else would be able to see. Anakin stood once he saw it and moved forward, holding his hands open with his blue eyes wide and relieved as his master dropped the last meter into his waiting padawan’s hands.

“Thank you Anakin, I was starting to tire.” The changed man offered, letting himself be carried back to where Kit was waiting on them. “Knight Fisto.”

“Knight Kenobi, you look…different.”

“Please don’t say anything. I just spent an entire day dancing because the little girl kept rewinding the music box. I activated the hologram inside it so at least she won’t be sad.” He sighed and let Anakin lift him to his shoulder.

“The entire day? She didn’t grow tired?” Anakin blinked at him as they left with the mobile computer and the collected information.

“Oh no, she was very fond of her fairy…Anakin could you please remove the wings? They are starting to get annoying. And please tell me you have my spare robes and the cleaning solution for this muck.”

“Back at the hotel room yes master.”

“Oh thank the Force.”

Based off this post by dekuhornet

“Can I braid your hair?” Kuroo asked, flicking the bangs out of Kenma’s eyes. Kenma absentmindedly nodded and continued typing on his phone. “Put your head in my lap?” Kenma did so readily, settling comfortably whilst texting Hinata.

Kuroo hummed lightly in his throat and began to stroke Kenma’s hair. “When are you going to cut this?”

“Later.”

“I could cut it.” Kenma almost dropped his phone and stared at Kuroo who was shrugging and despite his own words, was grabbing a clump of Kenma’s hair from the root to start delicately weaving. Kenma shivered as his soft fingers briefly dug into his scalp, massaging just there, before moving away and braiding freely. Kuroo was being gentle.

“Can I trust you with scissors?” Kuroo’s fingers slowed down considerably and Kenma would have actually laughed if he wasn’t in such a compromised position.

“Of course you can trust me with scissors.” He had the audacity to look offended. Kenma snorted. “Hey!” His face appeared closer to Kenma’s and Kenma couldn’t help but shrink back a bit. “You trust me with everything else.”

“Okay.”

“Okay I can cut your hair-?” Kuroo sounded so eager.

“No.”

His exhale was heavy, disappointed and he wilted as he continued to braid. “Okay.”

Kenma put his phone down in the middle of replying to Hinata’s text (i spilled kags’ drink on his shorts i’m ded) and actually considered the situation. Kuroo is such a baby, Kenma concluded.

“Kuroo?” He said, leaning up and twisting his body as to face Kuroo.

“Yeah-?” Their lips were on one another’s, kissing the response out of Kuroo in the mean time. But they stayed connected for a fleeting second. Kenma leaned back and Kuroo tried to follow, much like a moth to a flame. 

Kenma put a hand to Kuroo’s head to make him stop moving forward, and Kuroo’s eyebrows raised as his eyes opened. “I still don’t trust you with scissors.”

“Rude, Kenma!”

“Just do my hair.”

Dark Mark: Sirius Black

Originally posted by darkroomsuicide

hi! can you do a imagine with sirius, where reader stops talking to the marauders and lily (they share dorm) and one night she tries to drown herself in the bathtub bc her family made her take the dark mark during vacation and sirius saves her? thnkx


I tug on the sleeve of my sweater once again, hissing when the material brush over the sore skin decorated in the unique skull design. The material falls down to the ground and I quickly unhook my bra before sliding into the lukewarm bath, my frozen body melting and sinking down until the water level reached my chin. The bubbles shift and sway, covering my body, while filling the room with a lavender fragrance. The soothing atmosphere calmed my tormented soul until memories of this Summer began to flash against my closed eyelids like a picture show. I thrash around in the water, whimpers falling from my slightly parted lip, and it was as if I was once again brought back to the night my dark mark was forced onto my delicate paper thin skin. The ink contrasting against my pale skin, reminding me each day that I was forever burdened and tied to Voldemort.

When my eyes open up, the world seem to have gone black and white. The once warm water was now going cold and my tears mingled with the water. Taking a deep breath I begin sliding down into the water even more, I didn’t stop until my whole body was submerged and I was looking up at the ceiling. My lungs screamed for air but with my hands pressing against each side of the tub I release an angry shout, water rushing into my mouth and immediately filling my lungs. I could see everything fading from the corner of my eyes but I didn’t move, the pain would be over soon and then I would feel nothing. A small smile played on my lips as I take one last look at this world and allow my eyes to flutter shut.



“Would you like any refreshments ma’am?” A soft voice asks above me, I look up from the book I was reading and saw that the voice belonged to a sweet old lady dressed head to toe in a waitress uniform. I shake my head and smile before turning my eyes to the window, watching the scenery blur together as the train sped down the tracks.

“Come here often?” I brake my trance and once again turn to see who was disturbing my peace and saw Sirius casually leaning against the compartment door. He was dressed in a pair of black slacks and a white dress shirt with a couple buttons undone to show off his creamy dark complexion, his hair was sleeked back and the normal stumble shaved clean.

“What?” I ask, closing my book and setting it down beside me. He smirks and push his body up and swaggered over to my sitting frame. His cool fingers reached out and grip my cheeks, warmth suddenly pouring through my body and this heavy feeling on my chest.

“What’s a sweet thing like you doing here?” He mumbles underneath his breath, obviously unaware that I could hear him crystal clear. I frown, realizing that I didn’t really know what I was doing here or what here really was to be exact, the one thing I know for sure is that it feels as though a piece of me is missing.

“I don’t know,” I whispered and he smiles lovingly before dipping down and capturing my mouth in a surprise attack. My eyes widen in surprise and I stare at him as his mouth moves over mine effortlessly, it takes a while but I regain my senses and push at his chest repeatedly until he was sitting on the bench across from me.

“It’s time to wake up (Y/N). It’s time for you to wake up,” I was about to ask him what exactly he means but the surrounding starts to melt and mingle together until all remained was Sirius’s dark eyes. He winks and then a gust of wind blows away the last of the scenery until I was simply floating, not exactly moving until my body was lurched forward.



My eyes open up widely and I jump into a sitting position as I cough up the remaining water in my lungs. Soft hands rest on my lower back and I lean into their body as I gasp for air repeatedly, trying to fill my system with as much oxygen as I could. The room was spinning and I could hear people moving around me and see the outlines of their body. A towel was draped over my wet form and then a dry rag was used to dry my face and then move on to dry my damp hair. Sirius whispered soothing words into my ear and I could vaguely hear Lily say that she was going to get me clothes to wear. I shift until my face was buried into his neck and held onto him as my frame shivered and beg for warmth.

“I know why you did it,” He mumbles, giving Remus a small nod after the grungy lad finished checking you for wounds and internal damage. “Why didn’t you tell us? We would have figured out a way to keep you safe.”

“It was too late, they dragged me from my bed in the middle of the night and took me to the lair of you know who. I tried to fight but I wasn’t strong enough, I wasn’t strong like you wanted me to be Sirius!” I shout, my fist beating on his chest until I drained the small energy I had.

“I know sweetheart; I promise we’ll be here for you. Every step of the way, finding ways to cover the mark and to stop the pain, just promise me you won’t do that again. I can’t afford to lose you again,” His tears dropped down onto my body and I nod my head as his arms tightened around me.

“As long as you stay.”

“I wouldn’t imagine going anywhere else.”

anonymous asked:

Your fics are so good! If you have time could you possibly do a desus fic, based off something like "don't tell me you love me" and/or "I think I'm in love with you, and I'm absolutely terrified"? Thankyou🌸

I love you. 

The words hung in the air dangerously. 

Daryl stared at Paul, his eyes wide, trying to remember what it meant to breathe, to find his bearings. In Daryl’s life, the way he was brought up, no one simply said that they loved him. No one admitted it to him so freely. That was not something that just happened. 

“Don’t,” Daryl shook his head. “Don’t…” he tried to back up, but behind him was the wall of Paul’s trailer. “Don’t say those words.”

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While we can always learn from the past, we must not be condemned by it. Time is a river, and it moves on, just as you are not the same person dipping your foot in the river now as you were before, nor is the river the same. It moves on.
—  Zen Gardener
achluophobia
  • reader x min yoongi
  • genre: fluff
  • words: 1.715
  • achluophobia — the fear of darkness 

“Y/N” Yoongi said gently. “The movie’s finished.”

Slowly, you lifted your head from Yoongi’s chest and blinked, trying to adjust to the light. Sure enough, the gory horror movie had finished, the credits now slowly rolling, accompanied with some dramatic music.

“That was good.” You said, sitting up properly as Yoongi snorted.

“You mean the first half an hour, right? You spent the rest of the movie staring at my t-shirt.”

“Well,” you huffed. “Before people started getting killed every ten seconds it was good.”

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3

On the Run – Theo Raeken Oneshot

Synopsis: Theo flees Beacon Hills after the events of 5.20 and takes you with him.

_______________________________

You thought it was all over.

You watched the last of the beast fade away as you stood protectively over an unconscious Mason. It was all over. It was really all over. As if trying to take in the surrealism of the moment, no one moved. As the pack stood together in silence, you couldn’t help recalling the same silence from the night Stiles was freed from the Nogitsune. The same silence from the morning in Mexico after the ordeal with Kate. You looked up at Scott, face partly covered by hair and blood. You probably didn’t look much better yourself, but at the moment, it didn’t matter. Scott cracked a smile and soon after, so did everyone else. You all felt it.  The sense of utter relief like no other. The familiar yet unfamiliar feeling that everything was going to be okay.

Too soon.

You watched as Scott face morphed into a look of terror as he suddenly surged toward you. You barely had time to turn around and catch the arm lashing to your neck, but it didn’t matter.

The electric current that passed through you felt like a frost bite. Except it lasted forever, and it burned like fire.

“Theo no!” was the last thing you heard.

_______________________

It was noon. Late noon. You couldn’t say exactly how you knew. Maybe it was the hot sunlight that tinted your closed eyelids orange. Maybe it was the rumbling in your stomach nagging about the small lunch you had the day before. Maybe it was the warm wind shooting through the cracked window of the moving car.

Wait. Moving car?

Your eyes shot open and you jerked forward in your seat only to be caught by your seatbelt pulling you back. It was way too bright and you shook your head to shake away your disorientation before turning to face the driver, though you didn’t need to wonder who it could be.

“Theo.” You breathed.

You expected him to shoot you a smirk, say something cocky back like ‘had a nice sleep darling?’ or something along those lines. But he barely even looked at you. His eyes were trained on the road and you noticed his lips were bitten raw. His eyes were bloodshot and as he ran his hand shakily through his disheveled hair, you came to realize you how nervous he really was. You’d never seen him like this. Even when you first met him, when he put on his nice-guy persona, he always radiated the confidence you once so admired. His current state almost made you pity him.

Almost. If it weren’t for the current state you both were in.

He seemed to notice you growing agitation once he glanced down at your hands balling into tight fists.

“Before you wolf out on me Y/N I have to warn you. You took a pretty bad shock last night, if you turn now it might trigger a seizure.”

You stared at him, not even bothering to mask your expression of utter disbelief.

“Are you kidding me?” You were about an inch away from ripping his throat out. You couldn’t believe he would dare act like he cared after what he’d done.

“Take me back Theo.”

“You know they’ll kill me.”

“Scott’s not going to kill you.”

“Then someone else might.”

You let out an exasperated sigh as you turned away from him. You shook the door handle vigorously, but knowing it was to no avail. Theo must have been desperate. Not that he hadn’t been before. But before, he’d been desperate for something more, for power, domination. Now, he was desperate hold on to the only thing he had left, his own life.

“I’m not going to hurt you Y/N.” He asserted. You couldn’t help rolling your eyes.

“I’ve heard that before.”

“And when have I ever laid a hand on you?”

“You’ve hurt other people.” He was desperate. He’d do anything. You were probably his leverage and once he’s managed to safely get away, he’ll probably get rid of you. But first, he needed to make sure you wouldn’t get away, which meant he needed you to trust him. You knew his game. And you weren’t going to let him fool you like he’d done to so many others. “Theo half your pack is dead and you have their blood on your hands. They trusted you and you shot their loyalty to fucking hell. You think I believe you won’t do the same thing to me?”

It was so quiet. You could tell Theo didn’t really have a comeback and weren’t expecting him to. You turned your face to the window so you wouldn’t have to look at him anymore. You hadn’t seen another car since you came to. The road ahead was flat and the heat of noon bent the road in your vision. You’d originally thought you were somewhere in Nevada until you saw the faintest bit of blue beyond the horizon.

It must have been some beach town shot into oblivion. Even if you did manage to get away from Theo, how were you going to find your way back to Beacon Hills?

Theo’s answer came after a while, dragging you back to reality.

“I wouldn’t hurt you because I care about you too much.” It was quiet. Almost as if he was talking to himself. You didn’t answer him back. You didn’t even look at him, you just stared hard at the faint reflection you casted on the window. Theo must have cleaned up your blood, but the large gash on your forehead was still painfully visible. Why haven’t you healed?

“Remember back at the cliff when you and Liam were running from the Dread Doctors? They would have caught you. But they didn’t. Because I told them to stay away from you. Why do you think I did that?”

“The same reason you do anything. For your own gain.” You still wouldn’t look at him.

“What would I have gained? You and Liam would’ve made great Chimeras. I would’ve had two great members of my pact. But I didn’t want it. I didn’t want anything to happen to you.”

You’ve had enough.

“You’re such a hypocrite, you know that? You say you wouldn’t want anything to happen to me, all that bullshit. But what are you doing now? What can I possibly have to benefit from you kidnapping me and dragging me out here? If you really care about me, you’d let me go.” 

You could tell you made him angry. You were angry too. Your claws now dug angry marks into your palms as you struggled to calm yourself.

"Fine. I’ll admit it. I’m being selfish right now.”

When are you not? You wanted to ask.

“But you’re being selfish too.” And there it was. Typical Theo with his typical mind games, trying to turn it around on you.

“Tell me how I’m being selfish Theo.”

“You’re never going to admit we had something.” Goddammit you wanted to hurt him. You wanted him to feel the pain you felt during these past few weeks. Pain so intense, you were sure no amount of beating, clawing, or stabbing could get him to feel what you feel. You could take pain. Why couldn’t you transfer it?

“I know I’ve done terrible things. I’ve screwed up so bad. Goddammit Y/N if I could take it back I swear-“

“Shut up Theo.” You didn’t want to hear it. These sweet words, these promises. He didn’t feel remorse. He wasn’t regretful. He only regretted that he failed.

“No listen-“

“I said shut up!”

You couldn’t hold it back anymore. Before you could stop yourself you lashed forward, slashing your claws across his face. The car swerved. Theo was struggling to keep from crashing, one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding you back. You elbow jerked backward and you could feel the brief burn of it going through glass. Shards rained down on you both as you dragged him from the driver’s seat, all the while delivering multiple punches to his face.

Scott’s not going to kill you.

Then someone else might.

He was right. And that person was you.

And then.

You knew it would happen before you felt it. That sense of utter dread that coursed through you even in your livid state. You hadn’t had a seizure since the day you were turned. You didn’t think you’d ever get one again. But hey, you remembered the day Scott’s asthma came back. And now, it looked like the same thing was happening to you.

_________________________

You remembered the day your mom died. Your dad had dropped you and Stiles off at Scott’s house claiming he had to go ‘settle some things’. Stiles later told you he’d noticed several bottles of whiskey in the trunk. You’d had a particularly bad episode that night, and the only person there was Melissa.

You’d came to with her holding your head to her chest tears streaming down your face as you had to remind yourself that she wasn’t your mother. And that your mother wasn’t going to hold you like that ever again.

Well. That was the last time you let someone hold you like that. Until now.

You didn’t know how long it’d been. Probably an hour or two. He’d somehow gotten you into the back seat, and you were now slumped against him, head pressed to his warm chest as he rocked you back and forth. You could tell he was crying. Warm tears splashed onto your head. The only thing keeping you awake really was the sound of his heart beat. It was fast. So fast you were almost afraid it would stop and the hands holding you would go slack. It corresponded with his shaky hand as he ran it through your hair. You were crying too. Your tears went unchecked as they ran down your face and soaked into his jacket. He smelled sad. Genuinely sad. And you wanted to reach up and wipe his tears away. But you didn’t.

You could hear an occasional ‘I’m sorry’ as he continued to rock you back and forth. You couldn’t help but recall the first time you’d met, the night he’d offered to stay and study with you, and getting caught in the rain with him when you guys ran out to his car. That first kiss.  

Somewhere in there, Theo Raeken had a heart. And it only beat for you.

___________________________________

Trips to the beach were always sudden. You closed your eyes and breathed in the raw, salty air. You could hear the waves and the gulls in the distance. And for a brief moment, you didn’t want to care. The pack was probably going crazy looking for you. You didn’t want to care.

All that really mattered was being by the ocean and just letting yourself let go of all the frustration that’s been building up.

Theo joined you after awhile. You didn’t protest to him settling down beside you. He handed you a water bottle and you took it, guzzling it down. He didn’t speak for a while. But for the first time in what seemed like forever, you didn’t mind his company.

“You know, you look nothing like Stiles.” Was what he finally said.

“We’re fraternal, genius.” You responded back.

You didn’t want to care. Theo was a psychotic murderer. Theo could kill you in a heartbeat if he wanted to. You didn’t want to care.

“I know but-“

You cut him off, lips pressed fervently to his. He responded back instantly, his hands tangling up in your hair as he pushed you onto your back. His hands trailed away from your hair, down your back and then up your shirt. You broke the kiss for a moment to allow him to pull your top over your head.

Theo was crazy. But Theo loved you. And in that moment. Nothing else mattered. You didn’t want to care.

“You loved me once.” He breathed through heavy kisses. His lips trailed down, where he pressed them softly to the soft spot underneath you chin. You let out a sigh as he took your hands, holding them tight on either side of you head.

 

“I never stopped.”