movies that should be real

The Jungle Book
  • Mowgli: *throws himself off a cliff*
  • Mowgli: *gets thrown off a cliff*
  • Mowgli: *jumps off a cliff*
  • Mowgli: *jumps into river*
  • Mowgli: *jumps out of a tree*
  • Mowgli: *falls out of a tree*
  • Mowgli: *kicks it with a bear*
  • Mowgli: *sets jungle on fire*
  • Mowgli: *fights a tiger*
  • Bagheera: *exasperated dad noises*

I’ve been kind of quiet these past few days because I’m visiting with my sister

Today I finally hit the point where I talked incessantly about the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls franchise so much that she finally wants to watch it

My point being: It’s gonna be another quiet day on this blog

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go watch the first Equestria Girls movie for the fifth time, Rainbow Rocks for the fourth time, and Friendship Games for the third time. What a great way to recover from that Pleasant. Uplifting. Steven Universe content we experienced yesterday. Have a great afternoon

Why I’ll never stop defending Gale Hawthorne

Gale Hawthorne just wanted to save everybody from the games and having to keep living like that.

And it cost him the one person he wanted to live that better life with.

In my opinion, Peeta only ever cared about saving Katniss, he was single minded in this. He never really thought about the bigger picture, about fighting back, not like Gale did. Not until he gave that motivation speech to Katniss while they were hiding out at Tigress’s. A speech that should have been Gales, since he was always the one to say they should fight back, that she should fight back, always putting that spark in her, even when she didn’t realize it at first, a spark that turned into a fire when she needed it. He loved her and wanted to protect her and keep her safe, but never tried to hold her back from the fight, was always right there beside her, knowing how strong she was, but still there if she needed him.

He was a real hero! The bomb thing was 100% Coin’s fault but he still blamed himself, just as he did for not getting more people out when 12 was bombed. And I cry cuz he knew walking into that room that she would blame him too, knew that she would would never be able to forgive him, he knew he had already lost her, and he didn’t even fight her on it, because he felt guilty for not keeping Prim safe like he promised. Even though he was not the one that put that bomb near her, not the one that put her in the middle of a war zone, but he will still carry that guilt, and the loss of Katniss, with him forever.

AND IT IS HEARTBREAKING!

I AGGRESSIVELY LOVE AND DEFEND GALE HAWTHORNE

Ok so I had the weirdest dream last night.

It was High School Musical 4: College Graduation. Everything was really dramatic. For some reason Zefron ended up not going to college and became a depressed alcoholic drag racer. Gabriella comes to the track and is like “I know we’re not together anymore but I know you still care so come to my graduation” so he goes. Then everyone is at graduation and sitting in the crowd and this guy is upfront making a speech. Speech guy looks over at the graduating students and there’s a bunch of empty seats and he’s like “where’d everyone go?” And no one else even noticed these people get up and leave. So the guy continues talking and then notices more of the crowd missing and it’s like wtf. Zefron gets up and finds secret passages under the stands in the auditorium and investigates. Turns out there’s a serial killer down there kidnapping people from the graduation and locking them in lockers. Zefron doesn’t know what to do so he runs outside and Varric from dragon age is there with the twins from Bob’s Burgers, only they’re real people and not cartoons and also adults instead of kids. So Varric’s like, there’s only one way to beat this killer. We have to bring back the dinosaurs. And he jumps up on the back of a dinosaur that’s suddenly there and the twins jump on it too and they pull Zefron up and fly away to get more dinosaurs. During the flight the twins start making out with each other to everyone’s disgust. Anyway, they get more dinosaurs but they go rogue and start destroying the city. So Zefron leaves Varric and the gross twins to deal with that and goes back to graduation. He makes his way through secret tunnels filled with ice armed only with an ice pick. He finds the serial killer, stabs him with the ice pick and releases the captives. He goes back to the graduation and is pissed because we weren’t all in this together and Gabriella’s hugging up on some hot guy and only Sharpay appreciates that he saved everyone.

I woke up laughing and I’m gonna laugh about it for the next 50 years.

Demigods watching Disney’s Hercules

„I love those ladies.“ - Percy


„Hera wasn’t even Hercules’ mother, what the fuck is this movie?“ - Annabeth


„Honestly, fathers place looks nothing like that.“ - Nico

„You forgot to mention that HE looks nothing like that.“ - Will


„I don’t even think that there really is a potion for making Gods mortal.“ - Hazel


„Honestly, this movie could make people think that Zeus actually cares about his children.“ - Percy


„How did nobody ever think about asking themselves why that freakishly strong boy is wearing a sign of Zeus? How?“ Piper


„Wait… that’s supposed to be Chiron? Which legend did Disney read????“ Annabeth


„So not fair, I never get a sudden burst of sunshine when I kill a monster.“ Jason


„Oh sure, fall in love with the very first woman you see after being on that island for years, why don’t you!“ *throwing popcorn* -Percy

„Uh, Percy, didn’t you kinda fall in love with the first girl you laid eyes on when arriving in Camp?“

„Shut up Leo, that’s something completely different!“


“Why would Hades free the Titans? WHY?” -Jason


“Wow… Tyson looks so much better than that.” -Percy


“hehe. Slimy Souls.” - Nico


*throwing popcorn at the screen* - probs everyone but Frank


“Wait, what does this remind me of?” -Nico

“Percy you totally went all Disney for Annabeth!” -Piper (squealing, probably) (Jason and Nico dying of laughter in the background)


“Hmph. They never greated us like that when we defeated Kronos. Or Gaea. Or anyone else.”


“Why is Hermes making music when my dad is around there? Does Disney know nothing???” -Will



*credits roll*

“….”

“Well…..”

“We should totally show the others!”

(Annabeth groaning in the background because that movie was so freaking dumb and wrong and ugh!!!!)

I Saw Crimson Peak, or: Food Metaphors, Gothic Melodrama, and You

My favorite food is a good pasta bolognese: fettuccine al dente, with a sauce that’s been simmering for hours in red wine, every ingredient in its proper place, added at the right intervals, and stirred with true Italian vigor. I know it, I love it. This dish won’t surprise me, but that’s not what I want from pasta bolognese. What I want from pasta bolognese is the dinner time has shown me I’m wild for, prepared with skill, flair, and a love for the recipe.

Crimson Peak is THE pasta bolognese movie. It’s a lush Gothic Romance, complete with restless ghosts, fluttering ivory nightgowns, madness, slow poisoning, and a gorgeous decaying manor/metaphor house whose gables rise above the moors like snarling teeth. No movie has ever been less interested in reinventing the wheel, right down to the scene transitions: old-fashioned iris wipes. When the titled heir of a fallen family takes the hand of our unconventional heroine and leads her to the dance floor, the assembled ladies gasp. It knows, okay? It knows what it wants to be and knows that you want that too. There’s no irony, no winking, despite the fact that any audience worth its salt knows the narrative tricks inside out. That’s not what matters. What matters is that it’s bloody and frightening and twisted and mournful and achingly romantic.

I walked out of the theater effusive, a joyful little shiver in my stomach, still spooked and swooning. It was as if this movie reached out and cupped my fourteen-year-old self’s face in its hands and said, “isn’t it time you indulged in everything you ever wanted?”

Pure, undiluted gothic melodrama, masterfully made. A plate of pasta bolognese cooked by an expert chef, exactly the comfort food I crave, elevated to a thing of rare beauty. I can’t wait to have seconds.

I just checked out my activity page and, um, well…It looked like this.

HERE HE COMES

Tora streamed Cool World recently, and we all kept calling this guy “Spiders Georg” because none of us heard his name. Also because he is an outlier and should not have been in this movie. 

His real name is Nails, and now I wish that Cool World was just a movie about him solving murders in a gritty toon town.

  • I have decided that Matt Smith's Mr Collins is not, in fact, Mr Collins. He is actually the Doctor PRETENDING to be Mr Collins while he's between companions.
  • Also, seriously, he's amazing. I have seen and loved all the major versions of P&P, and his Collins is by far my favorite. He's perfect.
  • But really that movie is wonderful and hilarious and you should all see it ASAP. For reals. Go now.

A CONCEPT: TAYLOR SWIFT AS RAPUNZEL IN A LIVE ACTION TANGLED 

I MEAN

THIS 

IS A R E A L PHOTOSHOOT THAT HAPPENED LIKE DISNEY LITERALLY ASKED HER TO PERSONIFY RAPUNZEL IN A PHOTOSHOOT SO THIS IS THE ONLY LOGICAL THING THE DISNEY COMPANY COULD DO IF THEY WERE TO MAKE A LIVE ACTION TANGLED

TAYLOR SWIFT AS A DISNEY PRINCESS IS LITERALLY THE ONLY THING I WANT IN LIFE AND WE ALREADY KNOW IT WORKS IN PHOTOS SO JUST MAKE IT A MOVIE PLEASE

COULD YOU IMAGINE!!! THIS IS GREAT. JUST A GREAT THING THAT SHOULD BE REAL

Tagged by the lovely @saved-by-the-notepad

how old are you: 22
what’s your current job:
office job nothing special but it gets paid good.
what’s your aesthetic: I don’t have one
do you collect anything: Zox wristbands, POP figures and generally merchandise. I’m a merch collecting dragon :D
what’s a topic you always talk about: coughcomicscough  Dunno I just talk a freaking lot doesn’t matter about what….
what’s a pet peeve of yours: people talking bad about stuff they have no clue about
good advice to give: No matter if its in a friendship or in a relationship they key to success is FREAKING COMMUNICATION!! misscommunication is a fucking bad trope in bad movies in you should not do that in real life. never assume what the other thinks just freaking ask
three songs you would recommend: Let me tell you that changes everyday. Today its

“Reciprocate” - Rationale                
 “The Lonely Life” - City and Color
“I like it”- We the kings

I’m tagging: @gray-acefullmermaid @marquisdelafayettey @ishipallthings

the most Me thing about Me is that it’s two months until my birthday and i’m like “25!!!! GOTTA BE HUGE!!!!!!” and the other half is like “who’s got time to plan? not me. someone just send me a plant, that’s fine. i’ll eat an extra roll of cookie dough and call it a victory when i’m gripping my stomach in gastronomical agony.”

3

okay as disappointing as jared leto’s hot topic emo phase is remember THIS was how heath ledger’s first promo pics looked kay NOT THAT GREAT

the look is only part of it so lets reserve some of our judgement till the trailer

So I just had a thought. Wonder Woman is set during World War I as we know. I’ve been trying to guess who each of the actors are playing. I wonder if I may have been thinking too much on the comic books. Some of the actors might very well be playing real people.

David Thewlis is in this movie, and I realized that with the right makeup, he could look a lot like King George V, who reigned during World War I. 

Can you see it? And he’s a British actor. 

This film is set in London. It makes sense that we would be getting a lot of England’s perspective in this war, and it would almost be weird if the king was not included in that. I think he almost certainly has to be in the movie in some capacity, and if David Thewlis is playing him, he would probably have a pretty substantial role, which would be cool.

I also think this movie very well should acknowledge the real people from this war. Yes, it’s a superhero movie, but I don’t want it to be so fantastical that the history is diminished. I think it would be really cool if they gave King George a pretty big part in the movie.

When you're bangtaned af

Friend: hello

Me: Hello! Hello! Tell me what u want right now!

Friend: uh OK, are we still on for the movies?

You: We on~ (give me that, real fact.)

Friend: Cool, when should we go?

Me: Tomorrow~

Friend: OK but what about snacks?

Me: Say whatcha want! Say whatcha want!

Friend: I don’t know…

Me: Girl let me know! Girl let me know!

Friend: OK! What about hotdogs?

Me: Everybody say no!

Friend: Fine, how about cookies??

Me: Yessssss suga kookie’s

Friend: ur despicable.