MAMORU THIS IS LITERALLY THE DORKIEST AND MOST RIDICULOUS THING YOU’VE EVER DONE AND THAT’S SAYING SOMETHING
YOU RENTED A MINI BLIMP. YOU HAVE GIANT DERPY REINDEER BALLOONS AND A SANTA SUIT WITH CHRISTMAS MUSIC. ALL OF THIS JUST TO ENCOURAGE YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO KICK ASS.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN PLANNING THIS. DID YOU ACTUALLY BUY THIS STUFF SO YOU COULD UTILIZE IT AT A MOMENT’S NOTICE? OR DID YOU RENT IT FOR THE CHRISTMAS SEASON, ASSUMING THAT THE MONSTER OF THE DAY DOESN’T TAKE HOLIDAY BREAKS? OR BETTER YET, DID YOU JUST WALK INTO A STORE SOMEWHERE AT THE LAST MINUTE AND DEMAND ALL OF THESE THINGS?
KEITH is quite obviously SHREK. loner. off-putting personality. intimidating at first. probably smells weird. odd concept of what constitutes hygiene. good heart. not the best socially. puts in effort that often goes unnoticed thanks to preconceived notions. could benefit from a lot of hugs. impulsive. also: keith lives out in the desert, shrek lives out in the swamp.
GET OUT OF MY SHACK (BASS DROPS) SHACKSHACKSHACKSHACKshaaaaaCK
now this may throw some of you for a loop, but HUNK is DONKEY. anxious. tendency to ramble. appreciative of what’s important. vocal about it when annoyed or upset. supportive and loving, but ultimately aware of your bullshit and will call you on it if necessary. scares easily. aware of his own mortality. gets stuck in threatening situations because of his friends. tries to have a positive outlook. a good friend to have on your side. hilarious. genuine. would make u waffles.
LANCE is FIONA. critically underestimated. demands the #best out of life. a little spoiled + loves to be pampered. petty as hell. easy to toss over your shoulder. sarcasm as a pseudo-coping mechanism. actually very accepting. big heart. not afraid of Emotions. hard fucking worker. lowkey leadership skills. damsel in distress but accompanied by the trope of being Surprisingly Competent. grody jokes. certified nastie. genuinely supportive pal. will fuck u up… but at what cost… at what cost….
and did somebody say PLOT??????
haha too bad, i don’t have one
ok that’s a lie i have half of one
keith is the human child of a galra commander who was killed in battle. he basically raised himself on this alien planet away from everyone else because he wasn’t accepted and treated as an outsider/monstrosity
lance, a prophesied paladin of voltron, is kidnapped from earth and locked away in space with the discovered lion, left there to rot as bait for the other eventual paladins/lions
it’s surprisingly effective as a means of weeding out the rebels against galra rule
that is until zarkon starts taking captives instead of killing them all, because he still is no closer to obtaining the black, yellow, or green lions
shortly after this is when shiro manages to escape and crash land on earth, found by hunk and pidge, who are desperate in their search to recover their lost friend lance, whose disappearance (*pidge voice* ABDUCTION) was covered up by The Garrison, same as the disappearance of pidge’s family
(yes, this makes SHIRO the GINGERBREAD MAN)
hunk and pidge rescue shiro, repair his crashed ship with their beautiful genius brains, and head towards the Castle of Lions with swiped secret info + coordinates from The Garrison—- who, they find, knew exactly what happened to lance, pidge’s family, and why
the galra start dumping the captives for keeping on keith’s land, so that they can have them on hand for gladiatorial training, slavery, or other uses. keith is livid, but mostly because he has to deal with Change and People and Things Were Fine The Way They Were, Like, They Sucked, But He Wasn’t Dwelling On It Okay and Still, This Is Worse
once hunk, pidge, and shiro have teamed up with ALLURA (ARTHUR) and CORAN (MERLIN), hunk goes alone to retrieve the yellow lion, but ends up getting captured by the galra en route
this is how hunk and keith meet
hunk figures out what’s happening based on keith’s angry ranting, and when sendak promises keith that if he can find a way to use the blue paladin to lure out the rest of voltron, he can have his lonely little asteroid planet back
hunk uses this as an opportunity to go save lance!!!!! and good thing he does because keith needs him to help save the day on balmera thanks to his beautiful new She’s-Not-My-Girlfriend, SHAY.
keith doesn’t know what he’s going to do once they get there and meet this stupid, trouble-making blue paladin
defect against the galra? double-cross the paladins to get his home back?? was it even really a home to begin with??
he CERTAINLY doesn’t plan… to fall in Love…………………..
just,,, LISten ,,
keith: it’s no wonder u don’t have any friends? hunk: wow, only a True friend would be that Truly Honest?
(keith driving over a cliff) 🎶 I DON’T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT MY BAD REPUTATION 🎶
hunk: (looks between keith and lance in disbelief) he’s as nasty as you are?
lance: (singing) bird: (explodes)
when a galra in the bush grabs a paladin by the tush that’s bad that’s bad that’s really really bad
keith: what am i? pidge: uh… really tall?
keith getting shot in the butt and lance having to pull it out
is that a euphemism
i don’t know
mullets are like onions
hunk: blue flower red thorns blue flower red thorns blue flower red thorns THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IF I WASN’T COLORBLIND
An aspiring young actress (Lily Collins) and her ambitious young driver (Alden Ehrenreich) struggle hopefully with the absurd eccentricities of the wildly unpredictable billionaire (Warren Beatty), who they work for.
It’s Hollywood, 1958. Small town beauty queen and devout Baptist virgin Marla Mabrey (Collins), under contract to the infamous Howard Hughes (Beatty), arrives in Los Angeles. At the airport, she meets her driver Frank Forbes (Ehrenreich), who is engaged to be married to his 7th grade sweetheart and is a deeply religious Methodist. Their instant attraction not only puts their religious convictions to the test, but also defies Hughes’ #1 rule: no employee is allowed to have any relationship whatsoever with a contract actress. Hughes’ behavior intersects with Marla and Frank in very separate and unexpected ways, and as they are drawn deeper into his bizarre world, their values are challenged and their lives are changed.