I think I mainly run away from personifying God in any way that resembles a Lifetime movie. It actually repels me. God is massively complex, and while I personally don’t interpret him as a god who chooses to hurt people, I also don’t see him as your gleaming white, blue-eyed Jesus who has a pack of little lambs following him around wherever he goes, answering prayers like a lottery machine this way and that. That interpretation makes me as uncomfortable as the interpretation that alt-rights who use god as an excuse to act horribly and hate on people that don’t look like them does.
I don’t know what God looks like, I don’t know who he is in his entirety. But that’s part of the majestic wonder, no? That’s part of loving an ineffably beautiful God. Don’t try to humanize the creator of the universe. Wrestle and rest in his intricate complexity.