I was thinking this weekend about how awkward it was that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them insists that Americans call muggles “no-maj.” First off, it just doesn’t sound like an abbreviation we’d use, and it sounds even worse in plural. But I finally realized the more important point: it’s too direct. Especially for the time period, Americans would never have been that straightforward in talking about a topic that sensitive. And so I would like to submit, in the spirit of early twentieth-century slang, a list of possible euphemisms we may have used for muggles:
He washes his dishes with a cloth.
He pays in nickels and dimes.
He rides the trolley to work.
He takes his boots to the cobbler.
He’s grateful for Mr. Edison.
He’s one of Grisham’s boys. (here imagining that Grisham was a prominent wizard who famously fathered no magic children)
He dances on the ground.
He writes with a pen.
He’s fond of a two-piece suit.
He’s more King Arthur than Merlin.
He’s got to wind his pocket watch.
He gets his wax from bees.
His wife darns his socks.
He treats his ailments with tonics.
His portraits stay put.
His broom is only for sweeping.
I’m having a little too much fun with this, so if you have any to add, please send them over.
books or movies? philoshopher’s stone or chamber of secrets? prisoner of azkaban, goblet of fire or half-blood prince? order of the phoenix or deathly hallows? slytherin or ravenclaw? gryffindor or hufflepuff? durmstrang or beauxbatons? chaser or beater? seeker or keeper?