Well, I missed last week, so this week you get a larger dose of selfies. I think I’ll try to keep the text to the same length though. I get the idea that there’s a limited amount of attention for that sort of thing.
I’m moving at work, in the next couple weeks. We’re just changing desks, but I’ll be right in front of a window. I’m happy to move - right now we have windows but we can’t keep them open because our office is on the ground floor and we would get people distracting us and peeking in on things. I’m a little nervous about the makeup and the social change that the move will bring. We will be much nearer some of the people I’ve had contact with and a little more visible, and I’m not sure what it will mean for my sense of how the team actually views me. I’m under the impression that I can do my job but it feels a little like I’ve been moved into a larger pond (or at least a bigger fishtank). We’ll see what happens.
I know that I say this about once a month but I am starting to be really happy with my hair again. I’ll play a little more with it as soon as I can, but when I tilt my head back I can feel the length of the hair on by back, and it all can go to one side and stay there, and it just feels good to have my hair be this type of thing that I can play with and do multiple things with. It feels good. I’ve got a couple of plans for it coming up though. I’ll be getting a trim, since it’s been more than a year since I went to my stylist and got it cut. Just the ends off, and hopefully now that I’m caring for it a bit better the split ends will be less prevalent. About May timeframe I’m going to get it recolored. I really like how it’s fading now, thankfully, but I kind of am yearning for that type of vibrant color that I had before. Once a year seems okay. I’m not going to change it up too much, but I have some hair color goals and my hair is almost long enough to actually do it now.
I got a chance to go to a show in the last week on my own. This is the first time I’ve ever done this, if I can remember right. I saw Fun Home at the Curran theater and it was pretty great, really touching in parts and also fun in other parts. I’d recommend it if you can find a good performance. D and I got season tickets to the SHN musical season (which includes Hamilton, the actual goal of our purchase) and it’s been really great to see all of the performances this year. I’m really a fan of musicals and I’m really glad to be living in a city where I can attend a lot of them.
I’ve been slowly but surely starting to get a little more organized lately, and that has given me a little bit of pause. Now that I’m trying to make a concerted effort to make my life “post-transition” I’ve started picking up a bunch of the things that took up my free time before, and feeling at some of them. Some of them seem to have a little bit of gender baggage attached. I’ve been playing in a fun Magic: the Gathering league with some people at work for example, and it’s a little weird because I hadn’t played the game since transition. Picking up some of the programming side projects that I haven’t touched in a while is strange too, as I keep finding little pieces of what feels like a fake life sitting around. I realize what I’m doing is more, discovering what was facade and what were things that were authentically me. There’s maybe more to it than that. Drudging up these old projects and habits connect me socially to people who I might have to coach through my transition too, and I really might not care for that.
Oh, did I say it would be the same length as normal? I got a little carried away. I hope you all are surviving. I see you. You are important. <3