I've had a crush on this guy because he had really good video editing skills (and he's really handsome too) and we actually ended up dating because I gave him pie with a sticky note that said "I admire your talent" for Valentine's Day but anonymously tho bcs I was shy and a lot of girls were pining for him. Our prom was 2 weeks after Valentine's Day and we got to talk at the after party because he found out I gave him the pie 😅 aaaaand now we're dating
Omg go you! I’m actually so impressed that you even gave him the pie, let alone told him about afterwards. So proud :’) And super happy because it obviously payed off! I admire your talent in making such a bold move and now dating your crush!
Dear Auntie Asy. I have a dilemma. I've had a huge crush on my friend forever but there's no chance of anything happening so I'm trying to move on by starting to date. The problem is I don't want to take advantage of the new person/people or be manipulative since I'd feel like I was settling for them or something. I'm just trying to find a way to get past this hopeless crush, and I'm miserable on my own. Please can you help?
Hah. This happened in Solve for i, and you know what happened? Everyone got hurt.
In short: I know it’s very, very tempting, but don’t date other people if you’re still hung up on someone else. Please don’t do this. You shouldn’t be using a third person as a tool to get over someone you’re really into, because that’s not fair to them. No one should be ‘settled’ for. You’re going to give them a complex about not being good enough :/
Wait until you start to feel interested in other people naturally because you’re over your friend - even if it might be a long time. Maybe you need to spend some time apart from your friend, maybe you even need to TELL your friend, so they can give you the firm ‘no’ and you can hear that, accept it, and then stop hoping? You could also get counselling - that helps some people.
But don’t drag a third person in. That’s not fair to anyone.
***Slightly different from the original because, in addition to being the worst, I also just accidentally deleted this original post.***
I know I don’t need to, but I apologize for going ghost the last couple weeks. I’ve missed countless tags, numerous messages, spotlight dates, and god knows what else.
Let me explain…
All in a two week span I’ve acquired a second job, helped BFF through filing for divorce and moving, started dating someone and it’s turned serious really fast, and gone camping twice.
These are all good things and I’m unbelievably happy! The job is much needed and welcome, and even though I’ve picked up 88 extra hours in July and will basically have no life, the money will be good, especially with Vancon in 44 days. BFF’s divorce is for the best and it means I now get a roommate and the means to be able to move out of my parent’s house and out from under their thumbs. This boy, guys he’s a good one. He loves SPN and legit thinks it’s cool that I read and write fanfiction, he even wants to read it. He’s entirely too good to me and I’m crazy about him for it. We’ve agreed this is it and we’ll make it work for the long haul, whatever that looks like. I have to remind myself at times it’s only been two weeks, it feels like a lifetime, in the best way possible. And the last three weekends I’ve either been out of service range or with Boyfriend.
I’ve still been writing, just sporadically. Spotlights will still get done, they just may be during the week of the date I said instead of on the actual date. And I plan on stacking my queue in the next couple days so that everything stays active.
I’ll eventually find balance and things will even out, but I just wanted to thank you all for being the best followers and sticking around even though I haven’t been here much! I sure do love you all!
So y’all keep blowing up my notes with the various Family Lore stories I’ve been telling, so I guess I should tell one on my parents now.
My Mother’s Father was part of the United Auto Worker’s Union, and during the 50′s and 60′s, was on strike a lot. My point is, grandpa got himself an entirely deserved reputation for being a sucker who loved animals, so people would dump thier pets on him. Hence, my mother grew up in a house with pets such as Picket the one-eyed tomcat, Tweety the Bald canary, Dummy the cat, Stupid Son of Dummy, Spooky Garbage Dog and Chiquita the Tarantula. Eventually Grandma put her foot down when Grandpa brought home Gerta the Saint Bernard.
I say all this because it provides some context for how the following occured.
Mom and Dad had just moved in together (my parents dated for six years and were engaged for 13 days, driving everyone on both sides insane), and unfortunately, My mother’s German Shepherd, Cops, has just passed away due to bone cancer. After mourning for a bit, Mom and Dad decided to get a dog together, as a couple.
For context, my father had never owned a dog in his life. His mother had ‘Pretty Bird” the budgie as a child but parrots are alien life forms, not pets.
So they go to the Palo Alto Animal shelter to adopt. The year was 1987, and at the time, Palo Alto was… not a great place. Lots of drugs, gangs and poor civic managment. Mom told me that she learned to identify different types of gunfire while living there. They get there, and mom explains that she’s always had a preference for Big Dogs, and the guy’s face lights up. Oh Yes, he says, We have a Big Dog. For expirienced owners, yep, adoptable today, here we’ll give you a discount even-
Somehow my parents were not suspicious about this.
They were shown to the Animal in question, a Gorgeous blue-sable beastie with pretty golden eyes who immediately pressed herself against the fence and gave them the best PUH-LEEEEEEASE TAKE ME HOME puppy eyes 100lbs of canine can do. Mom and Dad fall in love instantly. They sign all the paperwork and take her home for $10, and name her “Mazel” as in “Mazel Tov.”
Within the hour, it becomes clear that something is amiss.
Cops had lived with his kibble stored in a plastic garbage can in the garage for six years without incident. Mazel figured out how to open doors and got the locking lid off the can in six minutes, horking down about four pounds of the stuff before my mother notices that it’s been weirdly quiet. Most dogs bark at or chase squirrels. Mazel stalked and caught one the second day, presenting it to my mother like an offering. Mazel knew all her commands but would clearly stop to consider before obeying, and trained my dad to give her good treats within a week. The locks on the side-yard gate were undone, and she took a stroll around the neighborhood, but always retuned home for dinner.
After a week of gradually realizing that Mazel was smarter than most of the professors my mom worked with, they took her to the Vet for a routine checkup.
Dr. Hamada walked into the exam room, dropped the clip-board and said “Where the HELL did you get a Wolf?”
After a bit of prodding and a very-angry-dr.hamada-calling-the-pound, they determined Mazel was a high-content hybrid, probably with a husky, but was going to be a lil shit her entire life. OK, said Hamada, I don’t like destroying animals and you’ve got a lot of expirience with dogs, so I’m okay with letting you keep her, but you should keep her away from small children because her Prey Drive could kick in.
Two years later, mom got pregnant with me.
Mazel noticed instantly, and reacted by digging a large hole in the yard and catching even more squirrels for mom, because she needed the protein or something. That what you do when the Alpha Bitch is preggers, right? Dig a den and ply her with food? On the advice of my grandmother, my mom stayed overnight at the hospital once I was delivered, and dad went home with a shirt that had moms and my scent on it. Mazel spent the whole night puzzling over it.
The next morning, when mom came home with me, there was the sudden and instantaneous recognition of PUPPY!!!!!! :D:D:D!!!!! PUUUUUUUPPY!!!!!! and Mazel turned into the most aggressively maternal being I’ve ever met. Playing with me on the blanket, sitting under my chair at meals (I was a messy eater), sleeping under my crib, teaching me to walk by letting me hang onto her fur and shuffle around.
Dr. Hamada thought mom was a madwoman, until he saw me holding Mazel’s mouth open and sticking my face in so i could look at her teeth. He gave up when my mom announced she was pregnant with my sister.
I’m making living with a Wolfdog sound awesome, but it did come with some drawbacks:
Mazel did have to be muzzled at the vets, because she had Opinions about having things stuck up her butt.
HAIR. One of my chores growing up was to brush her out every week and I’d frequently end up with more hair than animal.
the only way we could reliably get her to stay in the yard was with an overhead tether with a STEEL cable, which she chewed through anyway.
Do you like waking up by being hit in the face with half a dead animal? No? Wolfdogs may not be for you.
More than capable of opening the fridge and eating everything if you’re not watching
Will get into everything if not otherwise occupied. Including eating your tax forms.
Howls along with sirens at 4 AM.
PROS of growing up with a wolfdog, as a small child in the 90′s
I was afforded a degree of freedom normally associated with a pokemon trianer. It was no big deal for me and my sister to walk three miles through my not-really-good neighborhood to the Froyo if I took Mazel with us. People tended to leave us alone when we had 100lbs of overprotective Apex Predator following us around.
WINNING at Pet Day at school. There wasn’t actually a compettion but Billy’s hamster sucks in comparison to an animal that is perfectly willing to demonstrate how she can snap an oak branch in half on command.
PTA moms losing their shit because Mazel would walk down the block by herself to come pick ups up from school.
Grew up associating the word “Bitch” with teeth and the willingness to rip an asshole’s face off for being rude. Never changed the definition.
Learned the I-Own-This Strut and Murder-Stare from the absolute best.
When she was 17, Mom and Dad decided to add another room on to the house. They rigged up the overhead tether so she could be outside but not underfoot for the contruction guys. One morning, mom came out to notice them all milling in the side yard entrance, muttering worriedly. When mom asked what was wrong, one of them explained that Carlos forgot to bring the Hamburger. What do you need a hamburger for? Asked mom, and they pointed down the side yard to where Mazel was sitting, doing her best Viscious Alpha Bitch Stare.
Apparently they’d never realized that she was on the VERY end of her tether there and couldn’t actually get to them, and had been scamming them for a big mac a day for a month. Mom had my six-year-old sister pull her away to show she wasn’t dangerous and tired her best not to laugh but kind of failed.
Mazel ended up living to be 19 and a half, and except for some minor arthritis, remarkably hale until the day she passed away in her hole in the back yard while taking a nap. I maintain that Death had to wait until she was sleeping to get a crack at her, or she would’ve taken his scythe for a chew toy.
She was a pit stop, a road block, a life lesson. One I wasn’t meant to build a home in. She was a town you visit and think about, but not the town you raise your children in. She’s the town that will suffocate you if you don’t leave. The one others look at and go “why do they stay?“
I reluctantly pushed the gas pedal forward, crying when I saw it in the rear view mirror. I desperately tried to circle around and find that town again - but it was blown off the map. That town no longer exists and I’m so thankful that when I searched for it, only remembering the good times I had there - forgetting the rocky foundation, the sinkhole in the middle - it stayed hidden from me. That town taught me lessons, it showed me what I can feel. It also showed me hate, anger, depression, and my worth. That town was a pit stop - not a home.
How to let go of your ex once and for all (even if it feels impossible)
It took me nearly 3 years to get over my ex boyfriend. If you have ever been through a breakup, you know it is one of the hardest most heart-wrenching things to go through.
After weeks of fighting, the day came where there was no other option than to break up. When he left my house that day I felt like he had ripped off a piece of my soul. I had loved this man with all my heart, it was a raw all consuming intense kind of love. I couldn’t grasp the reality of what had happened. My best friend came over and I was just lying there with lykke li’s song possibility on repeat. I had cried for hours and there was no life left in my eyes.
For the first few months after the breakup I was in denial and I went into party mode, but not dealing with the pain slowly started to take its toll. And eventually (also because of some other factors) I fell into a deep black depression that would last for about a year. After the depression it still took me a long time to completely let him go.
It was the hardest and most valuable experience of my life.
I have no idea what started our conversation or the ensuing madness which followed, but I do know that there was something about you that got so far under my skin that I’ve not been able to shake you from my thoughts even after all this time……
Tell me, how am I meant to forget
when I can’t accept anyone else’s arms
to protect me, when the thought of being
engulfed in someone else’s pulse
steals my breath away?
How was it so easy for you to leave
when I was begging you to stay?