move dms

King of Dinosaurs

- King of Dinosaurs during his “Dinner of Dinosaur” super-desperation move, The King of Fighters XIV (SNK)

We have been invited to dinner with our host, the handsome human. His ship is crewed by skeletons, whom he refers to as his family
  • Me: Why is that one skeleton behind me? I move over one seat.
  • DM: The skeleton follows you.
  • Me: Why?
  • DM: Everyone has one. They have little napkins draped over their arms.
  • Me: Of course they do. Okay, I turn and ask it not to stand directly behind me, as it makes me nervous.
  • DM: It doesn't respond.
  • Me: Okay then, I ask our host if he can tell his "family member" not to stand directly behind me.
  • DM: He says "No, they are here to serve you."
  • Me: I slide under the table and take my food with me.
  • Todd: I peek under the table, twitch my nose at Squeak, then start shoveling food off my plate and onto hers.
  • Me: I start pelting Symu with rice.
No Talent in Stealth (AD&D 2e)

DM: Your party arrives in a darken hallway deep within the mansion. You hear a faint noise ahead.

Thief (OOC): I make a noise check. I make it. 

DM: You hear sounds of rustling. It doesn’t sound like footsteps, but you aren’t too sure what it is. You need to be closer in order to be certain. 

Thief: Hey guys, I’m gonna go on ahead. Wait for me here.

Thief: (OOC) I roll to move silently. I make it.

DM: You move stealthily into the corridor, you hear the fluttering of curtains from an open window. It looks like somebody came in. When they came in, you aren’t too sure. However, you get the feeling that you are not alone.

Our party has a half-orc barbarian named Jug'Jo with an intelligence of 4. At this point, our Paladin’s war horse is smarter than he is. 


DM (OOC): Jug'Jo, you’re 7 foot 8 and about 300 pounds. You can’t sneak. 


DM (sighing): Jug'Jo follows the thief. Large, clumsy footsteps echo across the hallway. Jug'Jo has put on a tarp that barely covers his body, thinking that it will conceal him as the thief looks on with dread. 

Jug'Jo (whispering loudly):JUG'JO HELP.

(Playing a game of D20 Modern)

DM: Alright, since you failed your reflex check the machine threw you backwards against the wall with a tremendous force. You’re at 1 HP, and you hear something in your spine break. You can no longer feel your legs.

Player: Can I move?

DM: No, you’re embedded against the wall, and now crippled.

Player: Can I heal somehow?

DM: Well one of your party members potentially could, but she’s not there right now.

Player: Can I perform first aid with my items?

DM: You don’t have any items! You only have a bunch of office supplies around you!

Player: Okay, but can I staple my spine together-


Sixth session or why you bring your veterans to fight

Sooo… this session marks the end of the first campaign in the setting. I am very pleased on how it turned out, even though the group made some shortcuts. And then complained about a lack of exp. While side-stepping all the encounters I made to provide said exp. BUT they defeated the big boss, so that went well! @crossingkuroyu @mono-chan17 @aceparnasse, great game! Thank you very much for plaing in my sandbox, even if you always manage to surprise me.

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can i just say something real quick ? not every rp is cliquey. most of the time, if you think an rp is cliquey, it’s because you are not trying hard enough. that sounds mean as fuck, but in twitter rp, you gotta be extra with it sometimes. it moves so fast, so dm people. reply to them. make connections. most of you crying that every other rp in the tags is cliquey aren’t replying to other people and either hide in your dm’s; or don’t dm anyone at all. i’m not saying cliquey rp’s don’t exist because i know damn well they do. but, in my opinion, for an rp to be cliquey, that means that there are multiple groups of people who strictly and i mean STRICTLY interact with their “friends” only. that’s fucking cliquey. just because not every member of that rp comes running to reply to your bland tweet doesn’t mean an rp is cliquey. so, anyways, don’t come to my inbox saying how some rp is cliquey if you don’t have receipts. i’ve literally got the same message twice today about it, and i don’t wanna hear it.

Natural Death 2

Same session as before, the werewolf has fallen and the team is speaking to and arguing with a being trapped in what is essentially a transdimensional soul gem made of anti magic.

Me: Hey, it’s going to take a bit to get to the next town, can I check if there are any dead horses in this mass grave?
DM: Sure, gimme a Spellcraft roll.
*I roll a natural 20 but don’t notice, instead paying attention to the conversation*

After the questioning ends, our DM moves the story along.

DM: Alright, while everyone was questioning the Orb, Clive(my necromancer) was working his magic and making sigils with in the dirt, and manages to raise four skeletal horses and attaches them to a surprisingly intact carriage.

*multiple calls of bullshit from the party*


( repost don’t reblog please! )


TWITTER NAME : @ gingerjanitor

NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS ON TWITTER : barely fifty. only tends to follow friends and special interest pages that post a lot of one topic.

WHAT DO THEY POST ABOUT?: the daily equivalent of shower thoughts. long-winded conversations with mutuals that he’s too lazy to move to DMs. pointless questions with fifty hashtags in search of an answer.

FACEBOOK NAME : wheatleythomasmerchant

NUMBER OF FACEBOOK FRIENDS : not too much. usually family / coworkers.

WHAT DO THEY POST ABOUT?: pictures of him and his coworkers when they go out, pictures with his parents, correspondence with relatives from bristol.

INSTAGRAM NAME: wholewheatthoughts

NUMBER OF INSTAGRAM FOLLOWERS: around 300 - 400, surprisingly enough.

WHAT KIND OF PICTURES DO THEY UPLOAD?: initially uploaded selfies and pictures of work. it was the pictures of work that gained the most traction, gaining him a sizable following of fellow service workers. uses the app to converse with other people / blow off steam about work. has a private account to avoid problems with his employer, but still manages to gain followers on a regular basis because he posts so frequently on pages aimed towards janitorial / custodial posts.

SNAPCHAT : gingerjanitor

TYPE OF PICTURES THEY UPLOAD ON MY STORY: largely random pictures from work and selfies. random videos of him messing around with his coworkers are commonplace here.

TYPE OF PICTURES THEY UPLOAD DIRECTLY AT PEOPLE : usually inside jokes or things he sees when out and about that reminds him of them.


TYPE OF PHONE THEY OWN : some secondhand samsung smartphone he got at a good price. it’s not top of the line, but it does its job fair enough. has the ugliest otterbox that’s falling apart at the seams, due to his klutzy tendencies.

5 LATEST PEOPLE THEY CALLED : parents, olivia, hal, jerry, pizza delivery

WHO WERE THEIR LAST 5 MISSED CALLS FROM: his mother has the tendency to call him. repeatedly. not rare for him to get about seven missed calls from her because he’s in the shower.

LATEST TEXT AND WHO FROM : ( JERRY ) are you going to kenny’s housewarming party ??? we could split a taxi fare

LATEST PICTURE THEY TEXTED : a picture of some chicken nuggets he found in the break room with the added message of “ the nearest mcdonalds is a few miles up “

LATEST VIDEO THEY TEXTED : him attempting to wrestle a bird out of an air-vent with a broom handle.

TYPE OF PICTURES ON THEIR PHONES : a billion silly selfies. weird things he finds at work. random pictures of his food he sends to his mom when she asks if he’s eating well. ( spoiler alert: he is not. )

TYPE OF VIDEOS ON THEIR PHONE : silly videos taken with coworkers, videos of any animals he finds on shift ( usually birds ), videos of weird things he finds at work.

ANYTHING ON THEIR PHONE THEY DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO SEE : is a bit shy with his use of hookup apps, especially grindr.

5 MOST USED APPS: camera, snapchat, pokemon go, notepad, youtube

WHO THEY CALL MOST OFTEN: parents check up on him most often. otherwise wheatley doesn’t tend to call and prefers the ease of communication through text, largely because he can pick his words before sending them.

WHO THEY TEXT MOST OFTEN: olivia, bruce, hal, jerry

LATEST VOICE MESSAGE AND WHO IT’S FROM: jerry. he always leaves voicemails asking for help covering shifts, where he is, if they’re carpooling on so and so days, etc …

WEBSITES THEY VISIT MOST OFTEN: youtube, wikipedia, twitter

BACKGROUND PICTURE ON THEIR PHONE: a shot taken on his phone of a rather scenic looking area in aperture, likely an interesting piece of architecture or a shot of one of the more mechanical-oriented areas he found notable.

A little backstory: We are running a Werewolf: The Apocalypse game. So, the players have been knocked unconscious and brought to the underground Wyrm-hive to be converted to the enemies side. The first encounter had them convince one of the baddies to help them. Queue the second encounter with another Black Spiral Dancer who thinks that these are new willing recruits. They bring forward one of the ragabash metis who took the flaw ‘antlers’…

DM(Batface): So, welcome! Welcome.. What have we here mmm? What’s your name?“

Player1(OOC): Augh, I never gave him a middle name… Now I have to find a name for him…

Player2(OOC): Call him Bambi

Player3(OOC): Bambi…

Player4(OOC): What about Bambi!

Player5(OOC): Do Bambi!

Player1(OOC): I’m not calling him Bambi!

After a moment they finally find a name, and the scene moves on

DM(Batface): Welcome to the club! S'a nice rack you got there!

Player1(OOC): *Heavy sigh*

Everyone else: *Dying from laughter*


 I’m on this jawn now 

What’s good moe? I haven’t been on shit like this since I was a young bull. Moms was so strict on me focusing on basketball and school. My name is Kohlen De'Bose but KD is the only thing I answer to. Straight from the 240 Maryland even though I’ve moved to Tally a month ago, I still rep. I’m a real chill/simple ass dude but I still drill them cheeks. I love my beautiful melanin women. Heart of Kanye. Don’t get use to seeing me too much I’m making moves. Hit my DMs! I’m out.

Birthday: 07/07/93

Age: 23

Favorite Color: Green

Status: Single

Occupation: Real G’s move in silence (Just know it’s not no illegal shit)

Hobbies: Hoopin, Drillin Cheeks

In his sunken city of Rl'Yeh, someone is watching.

Druid, trying to follow what the DM is saying while other players are discussing travel arrangements: “…so what do we know about the Sea of Moving Eyes?”
(Brief pause while everyone contemplates the Lovecraftian mental image thus generated.)
DM: “… Moving Ice.”
Several players: Oh, right.

First Session of D&D Summer Camp

DM (counsellor): Okay, so you have 500GP and any table in the PHB to buy whatever equipment you want. Go crazy, I’ll be back in half an hour.

Dwarf: So if we’re stingy about our gold we can buy anything in here? Anything?

Elf 1: Sure. *sigh* I’ll buy rations and travel equipment…

Elf 2: And I’ll buy EXPLOSIVES!!!!!

The Dwarf is oddly quiet as the two Elves and the Human excitedly chat about what will look the coolest in battle.
About 45 minutes later, they’re entering their first fight.

Dwarf: I drink all four dozen mugs I bought!

Everybody: What?!

Dwarf shows inventory sheet, which does indeed contain 48 beer (mug).

DM: Are you sure you want to drink all of them?

Dwarf: Well, yeah. Sugar rush should give me an extra move square, right?

DM: Uh, no… Are you sure?

Dwarf: Yes I’m sure!

DM: *sigh* Fine. Roll endurance against inebriation.

Dwarf rolls, fails, and has every roll in that battle short of a 20 treated as a crit fail. He later explains that he believed Beer (Mug) to have been Mug Root Beer.

Spiked walls!

DM: Ok so you walk into the room to see an empty and short hallway leading into a ritzy and leisurely looking bedroom.
Druid: oh OK I wanna go in there and look around.
DM: OK give me a dex save roll.
Druid: for what?
DM: For the spiked walls. OK you fail and the spiked walls close in on you.
Is anyone going to help him?
Warlock : How fast are the walls moving?
DM: ? Pretty fast but not extremely fast.
Warlock: OK so not as fast as haunted house spiked walls but slower than evil Scientist spiked walls?
DM: exactly!