mov: lord of the rings

I’m so disappointed when elves in fiction are merely immortal humans with pointy ears, and dwarves are just short humans with beards. Perhaps others enjoy it, but I am bored of banal human conflicts and vices projected ad nauseam onto supposedly inhuman races. 

I want to see things that really make me believe elves and dwarves and other fantasy races aren’t just disguised humans. Show me strange biology, incomprehensible minds, impossible virtues and unthinkable sins, oddities and curiosities of all kinds. 

I think that’s what drew me to Tolkien’s races, who have exactly those kinds of quirks that set them apart from ordinary humans - like dwarves having only 1/3 of their race female, or elves being capable of telepathy. I love fic that explores the consequences of these strange characteristics most of all.

iconic parts of lord of the rings that sadly didn’t make it into the films:
  • Frodo and Sam getting into a fight about rope
  • Gandalf and Aragorn tag-team sassing a convalescent Merry about the location of his pack
  • the massive intra-Fellowship fight about how fair or unfair it is for people to be blindfolded
  • “DO AS YOU PLEASE IN YOUR MADNESS! I WISH TO SEE NO EYES!”
  • Legolas coming all the way from Mirkwood to deliver bad news and get bitched at by Glóin
  • Bilbo’s passive-aggressive notes to his annoying relatives
  • Aragorn and Éomer leaning on their swords to take a break and chat in the middle of a fight (twice)
  • Saruman appearing out of nowhere and harassing the Three Hunters like a DND random encounter
  • the disco ball/oil slick/sequin robes
  • basically every time Ioreth or the Master of the Houses of Healing says anything
  • Pippin jumping into his bath and soaking literally everyone
  • Bilbo’s song about Eärendil and Aragorn trying to gently point out that some topics of conversation are Sensitive
  • Frodo deciding that the best way to be inconspicuous is with a loud obnoxious song about when the Moon got drunk

feel free to add your own

I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo.
‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, 'and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.’
- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Shadow of the Past, The Fellowship of the Ring