You hated everything that was going on. It had been a long day for you; a long day that you wouldn’t have wished on your worst enemy. You were driving down a road in the parish of Dulvey while you were traveling to go check out a job opportunity a few states over. The fact that you were on that road in the first place was the first bad sign of the day because it was nowhere near where you were supposed to be, and you knew it. The gps on your phone wasn’t working either. You had apparently strayed so far into practically desolate swampland that you didn’t have poor reception, you had basically no reception at all. Things were made worse when you ran out of gas. You were so busy trying to figure out where you were and how to get back to where you needed to be that you hadn’t been paying attention to the decreasing meter. You walked for about twenty minutes farther down the road when you saw a dirt path. Not seeing a end to the paved road anytime soon, you chose to take the dirt one. It had to lead to a house or something right? You were so happy when it did. Little did you know that a few hours of a walk on a hot Louisiana road would be light years better than what awaited you in that house.
Long story short, you ended up going to another house near there when it looked like no one was home. While at the other house, you found a woman named Mia locked in a room in the basement. You got the chain off of the cell door that she was in so she and you could get out of there, but you didn’t get very far. Mia and you only made it a few rooms over from where you set her free when you heard her scream at someone. “DADDY! NO!” You heard right before you felt a hand forcefully turn you around. It was a man that at first glance looked somewhere in his mid-fifties. “Heh, welcome to the family!” Was all he said before his fist met your face, knocking you unconscious.
That’s how this whole thing started. And since then you had seen more things than you’ll probably not want to remember, but absolutely would. The worst being having to fight monstrous versions of Jack, the man that had knocked you out earlier, and his wife Marguerite. The close second was all of those foul smelling, mold monsters that you had to fight. You had the worst time getting away from them because of how large and unfamiliar that house you were in was. There was always the underlying problem that you might mix up directions and specific routes that you would have to take to get to certain places, but it worsened when you were under pressure. And, giant monsters or crazed, murderous parental figures hunting you down is one of the worst forms of pressure that you could put on someone. Yeah, there were some hand drawn maps that you found along the way, but sometimes trying to figure those out just made your head hurt worse than those head-butts Jack gave you. The older house that you found Margurete in was a little better because it was smaller, but you still got turned around once or twice. Thankfully, you had left the two houses(hopefully for good) and the barn that you were currently in was much easier to navigate.
Aside from all of the tripwires and the mold monsters, you were doing okay. Everything was basically straight halls, so getting turned around or struggling with direction wasn’t as much of a deal here. The main problem was the person you were in here to get to: Lucas. He was the son to the crazy couple and brother to that Zoe lady that has been helping you. You would have liked to skip seeing him all together if you could, but you had seen him take Mia and he also had told you via phone that he had Zoe. You needed to get Zoe if you wanted to get out of here because she knew her way around and could help you, and it just didn’t seem right to leave Mia. If you were going to get one why not help the other if you could?
You had just beaten the, “fat man,” as Lucas called it, and saw the charred remains of who you could only assume was the guy from the last vhs you saw holding a sign that said “Your Next” and the code you needed. After being sure that you memorized the numbers, you walked down the stairs, and found yourself right in front of the room with the number pad. “Okay, 1480.” You told yourself mentally as you typed and entered it in. Nothing. Huffing, you tried it again. Once more, nothing. You were about to yell at the fact that Lucas gave you a wrong password when you thought of something. A quick trip back up the stairs and another look at the sign later you were back at the number pad to type in 1408. “Oowee! You ain’t too good with numbers, are ya?” You heard Lucas jeer over a speaker. “What makes you say that?” You respond, not wanting to admit anything to him. “Well, I noticed that you didn’t catch a single thing when I was thrown’ fake codes at ya earlier. Not to mention, ya had'ta go back and look at the right one just now.” He laughed with clear amusement for your trouble in his voice. You just pouted in response, finding no amusement whatsoever in the situation.
“Anyways,” he continued, “this right here is a test of skill. I don’t want any cheatn’, so~ that shit your carryn’; get rid of it!” It didn’t seem like you had much of a choice, so you begrudgingly did what you were told. You tried to sneak your pocketknife in, but apparently whatever camera he was watching you with could see that you did. “Hey, now! Don’t think I didn’t see that! Put that knife in the box with the rest of it!” Lucas said in a scolding manner. “Ugh! Fine!” you huffed as you took the knife from your pocket and put it in the box before walking to the door. “Your lucky I think ya cute, or else we’d have a problem.” he snorted over the speaker as the door opened. You walked into the dark room and started to look around before the sound of the door slamming and locking behind you caught your attention. Before you could see what closed it, however, something was put over the grate on the door casing the little light that you had from the other room to be blocked off leaving you in total darkness.
After a moment of silence, Lucas’s voice came through a speaker once more, “Alrighty, sweetheart! This is a test of your listenin’ skills. Ya see, this room is full of mouse traps except for a certain path. All you have to do is step where I tell ya, and you’ll be fine.” You weren’t sure if you should play this trust game with Lucas. After all, you were wearing some pretty thick boots that would probably keep your toes from breaking if you hit some mouse traps, so you could just find your own way through. “Oh, somethin’ you should know ‘bout the traps: most of them are normal ol’ mouse catchers, buuuuuuut some of them are-shall we say-enhanced.” Based on the multiple explosions you saw in the rest of the barn, you decided that you really didn’t want to know what the enhanced traps were, leaving you no choice but to go where Lucas told you and hope he didn’t purposely lead you to your early death.
“Okie dokie! The first thing you need to is turn around the opposite way that you are now.” You gave a shaky sigh as you did as Lucas instructed. He must have a night vision camera or something if he knew which way you were facing. “The next thing is to take two small steps forward, turn and take a step to the left.” Bracing yourself, and hoping that the steps you took were small enough, you started to move. One, two forward-so far so good- and one to the left- SNAP!! “What the hell is wrong with you? I said to the left!” Lucas questioned over the speaker. Based on his reaction and the fact that you felt the recently activated mouse trap on your boot, you had gone right instead. Taking a few steps to the actual left and removing the trap from your person, you waited for Lucas’s next instructions. This went one for a little bit longer, and thankfully you didn’t get any more of the directions confused. Towards the end you were getting kind of flustered because of being in the darkness for so long and the fact that you weren’t sure if he was actual going to lead you to safety or not, so a lot of your choices were lucky guesses.
You were extremely relieved when you heard Lucas tell you, “Last thing I’m gonna help you with: there’s a door to your right leading to another room. Now, somewhere in that room is a flash light. If you can find that, then you can use it to get to the end of the maze.” Great now all you had to do was get in that room and find the light. He said it was to the right. Stopping, you had to be sure that you went the correct way. There was no doubt in your mind that Lucas would put a lot of the extra deadly traps right by that door. “Okay, time to use a cheat.” You mumbled to yourself as you held the thumb and the pointer finger of both of your hands in front of your face. Wait, it was pitch black in here, you couldn’t see your hands! The idea was to see which one had the L shape facing the right way to determine left, but not only could you not see your hands, you also, under the stress you were in, were blanking out on which way the L was supposed to go. “What are you doin’?!” Lucas practically yelled, causing you to jump out of your skin. “I-I’m thinking you.” You yelled back. “About what? What could you possibly need ta think about?” He responded in an annoyed tone. Not answering, you decided to just take a step to the side and hope that it was the right way.
Thankfully, it was, and you went into the next room. At the end of the room, which had no traps in it, much to your delight, there was a small table that had the flash light on it. Shining the light onto the previous room that you were in, you realized that not only was this the place you had seen on the vhs that you watched earlier except with a bunch of mouse traps and no clown, but also that you were lucky the trap you set off at the beginning was a regular one and not one of the ones that you now saw had razor blades and broken glass glued to them. Using the light, you made your way to through this room and into the one that used to have an exploding cake in it. When you got there, the overhead lights turned on. You looked around to see a mostly empty room, except for a note on the wall by the doorway you just came through. It read, “Congratulatoins on getting thruogh the maze! I’ve got a graet surqrise for you!”
Suddenly you felt a sharp pain in your neck. You yelped and looked over to see a hand pull a now empty syringe out of you before you were turned around. Lucas threw the needle behind him and kneeled down to your height as you started to sink onto the floor. “Wha- What did you do to me?” You questioned him as your head started to get foggy and you limbs started to feel heavy. “Don’t you worry none. I just gave ya somethin’ to help you fall asleep. You must be tired after all ya’ve been through, right?” He responded with a twisted grin on his face. You wanted to say something back to him, but you were already too far out of it. “You’re just too much fun to get rid of. Besides, I think I’m startn’ to really like you, so we need ta get ta know each other better.” You wanted to yell, or punch him, or something but you were unable to. The last thing you saw before you passed out was his twisted smile as you heard him laugh, “We’re gonna have so much fun!”
hello yes I would like you to join me and @soaringsparrows in imagining Lockheed as a therapy pseduodragon for Cassandra de Rolo
Tibs leaves him behind when he leaves for Draconia and he gets forgotten in the castle and eventually sort of stumbles across Cassandra
he pretty much adopts her as soon as he sees her. this is his human now. Cassandra just shrugs and goes with it because he’s pretty persuasive for a tiny dragon (and tbh she could use some companionship)
he picks up on her emotions and does his best to help out however he can
curls up in her lap when council meetings get stressful
wakes her up when she’s having a nightmare and stays with her until she goes back to sleep
keeps her company on nights when she can’t sleep and walks the halls with her
brings her food when she’s not eating
makes her stay in bed when she gets sick
on really bad days he just sits with her and hums and chases away people trying to bother her so she can have the time and space she needs
curls up on her books when she’s working too late and should be in bed
(and self-appointed castle mouse catcher. that one is very important)
everyone is confused. Cassandra where did you get that tiny dragon. what is up with that. are you allowed to bring pets to a council meeting?
yes of course she can she’s Cassandra de Rolo
eventually he just sort of becomes a standard fixture. If you’re looking for Cassandra you will find her with her tiny green dragon, who she is fiercely protective of. people start carrying trinkets and snacks around with them to give to him, and he is always excited to receive them. cassandra brings him into town now and then and the kids think it’s so cool and pretty much everything is just much better because of this tiny, forgotten dragon
When Beth was younger, they had two cats on the farm. This was when the farm had still been fully functional and the world hadn’t rotted from the inside out like an apple cracked open to expose the worms within, of course.
They had been outdoor cats really. Her Mama called them the barn cats, her Daddy called them the mousers, and Beth called them Sunshine and Pouncer. In contrast to her name, Sunshine was an all grey cat with a sleek pretty tail. But she was the sweetest cat ever and Beth could almost always find her curled up on a bale of hay soaking up the sun wherever it happened to be shining into the barn.
Where Pouncer could be found depended mostly on Sunshine. If she was laying in a patch of sun giving slow flicks of her tail than Pouncer was right there a few feet away, hiding so he could pounce as if her tail were a particularly sneaky mouse instead. Pouncer was a large calico, all full of trouble as her Mama used to say. He was an amazing mouse catcher but he was also too clever for his own good; when he was two he’d learned to open the horse stalls if they weren’t latched properly, and when he was four he developed a new favorite game of playing with the belts and buckles on the riding saddles, which often led to them being tugged to the floor.
Hahahaha I'm sorry but I'm kinda idk what I'm doing I'm just I got triggered and now I'm pissed off and I have to stop myself from being mean to my friends. Please tell me every dumb fall out boy story you know please
uh oh! dont be sorry, im sorry that happened to u!! ummm ok ill try im bad at this but ok
when pete&trick&joe lived together in ‘03, patrick was the official mouse catcher. which i find funny bc like imagine him running around chasing after a mouse while joe and pete just kinda watch tv and him lmao idk
pete broke his foot or ankle i cant remember what year i wanna say '07 but he was rlly pissed bc he couldn’t run around stage like the idiot he usually is yknow
pete jumped off his roof with an unbrella once. it was p gr8. mary poppins ass motherfucker
fuck. im bad at ths im sorry
in '09 mark hoppus from blink 182/44+(i think that’s the name) threw petes bass in the ocean in like pennsylvanian or somewhere. pete proceeded to dive in to try to get it. he didn’t succeed. his bass is still at the bottom of that harbor somewhere. there’s vids of that on utube.
also in '09 mark shaved petes head on stage. that was fun.
im terrible at this im sorry
the first interview fob did, patrick got so nervous, he shook petes hand instead of the interviewers. pete finds this amusing. patrick does not.
every year for his bday i believe pete smashes a birthday in andys face. andys a good sport about it.
pete used to piss in patricks shower a lot. i dont want to know why
speaking of piss, once pete did a thing where he drank his pee on stage. theres a video of it. it’s…entertaining, i guess. very enlightening. petes weird.
one time patrick and pete smelled bad so they both sprayed their armpits with like air freshener or something i dont even know
this is all by memory im sorry if i get details incorrect or if these r boring theyre all i can think of
once in an interviewer joe told off an interviewer lady for being homophobic, and he said if he could be a superhero he’d be wonder woman. joe is gr8.
for patricks 22nd bday pete got him a stripper and she gave patrick a lapdance and patrick just texted dirty the whole time this makss me fucksjsjzn
speaking of dirty. pete used to torture dirty by hurting him. pete wentz is kinky as fuck and no one can tell me different
once pete & i think charlie dared dirty not to talk for a whole day and pete kept doing things to try to make him talk u should look that up its fun it’s on youtube, dirty’s bets
one time patrick dared joe to eat like a hundred chicken nuggets or something i dont even know
patricks fallen on stage like four times im sorry but i find it funny
back to when joe&pete&trick lived together - patrick did all the work, in this video from that time he’s doing the dishes and joes sitting there watching tv and petes filming. poor patrick, im p sure he did eveything and the other two were lazy assholes
theres a vid of them using sticks to like catipult themselves into a pool. i cant remember but i think pete hit the wall twice lmao
there’s like four interviews where pete and patrick say “that’s what she said” approximately forty times. they’re terrible, i swear.
im all out of ideas lmao