mount timpanogos

Even More Utah Gothic

-It takes an hour to get a seat at Ruth’s Diner during thesummer barbeques, but there always seem to be more cars in the lot thanfamilies at tables. You wonder what exactly is in the sauce that makes the meat so delectable. The man behind the serving table grins at you and carves you another heaping portion of ribs.

-The spires of the Salt Lake Temple stretch higher than the dome of the capitol. They have to, otherwise the Temple would get angry.

-Green River melons are simply the best, locals will tell you. It’s something in the soil that makes them grow bigger than other melons, makes their insides a little redder.

-You can’t find parking in the first two levels of the Gateway’s garage, so you decide to risk a trip to the lower levels. The drive takes you a lot longer than you remember, and the only other vehicles waiting for you at the bottom are several black vans with government plates. Even though you’re on the lowest level, the elevator still has a down button.

-If you find a cairn while hiking in the Canyonlands, you are supposed to add a rock to its pile. If none can be found nearby, then make do with something the appropriate size and weight. You wouldn’t want anyone to become lost.

-There are actually four caves in Mount Timpanogos, even though the guided tour only takes you through three. The entrance to the fourth one doesn’t like light, but if you douse your lanterns upon reaching Middle Cave, you can hear the grinding of stone and the scrabbling of parting stalagmites. Do not feel your way blindly into the fourth cave. The fourth cave does not like visitors.

-Coyotes howl at night in the canyons. Things that are not coyotes howl back.

-You can tell the locals from the tourists at a ski resort by how willing they are to brave a snowstorm. True locals do not need sight in order to ski. It would be a hard task to see anyhow when the cold locks your eyeballs in their sockets and the wind peels back the upper layers of your skin.

-Summer is a time for Bear Lake raspberries. They are not grown. They wash up on the shores of the lake at night in the thousands. If you are not careful in the morning, they will burst, and the red will stay in the sand until winter.

-This is the Beehive State. If you put your ear to the sandstone and listen closely, you might barely be able to make out the buzzing. It will not leave your head once you hear it.

-If you meet the eyes of the Sphinx in Gilgal Gardens, walk the perimeter of the garden three times. Any fewer and you won’t throw it off your scent. Any more and it will pick it back up again.

-They ran out of copper at Kennecott a long time ago. If you ask people who live by the mine why it still stays active, they look at you with puzzled faces. The mine isn’t active any more. Why would you ask that? Trucks go up and down the mountain all the same.