mounaineering

“Cold Unknown” - Elk Mountain Scenic Highway, North Carolina

As I made my way to photograph Craggy Gardens shrouded in fog. I came to a road closing along the Blue Ridge Parkway, and had to make a detour along this little road. Not being able to visit the park was unfortunate considering the conditions were perfect, but this scenic route down out of the mountains definitely made up for it.

Ok, Inc, honey - take it easy. You’ve been through worse. You know the first thing you gotta do? Yeees, that’s i… wait, what? No. That’s not it. Don’t do that. PUT THE CHAINSAW DOWN. I meant the first thing you gotta do is calm down and take a few deep breaths.

Good, gooooood. Feeling better? Awesome!

Ok great now you can go get the chainsaw. Use it to wreck your television, computer and phone. Jolly good.

Unfortunately there is nothing I can do to stop the death and destruction that will inevitably follow the advent of High Rise. However, I can advice you on how to survive this more or less - probably more - apocalyptic event hovering in the horizon for all Hiddlestoners.

Here’s what you do. Go buy a few dozen sticks of dynamite. Blow your house up. Fake you death. Leave the country. Travel to India. Climb on an impressive looking mounain. Find a hermit. Become their disciple. Live an ascetic live of a buddhist monk in search of nirvana. Live a happy, meaningful life.

…or just stick forks into your eyes and run around flailing and throwing rocks at passersby, as usual.