motor bikes

Growing Up German
  • Always getting a free slice of sausage at the butcher
  • Hearing stories where people violently died as bedtime stories
  • Closing your eyes when the Sandmännchen throws his sand so you don’t have to go to sleep
  • Making your own ice cream with Fruchtzwerge yoghurt
  • Benjamin Blümchen Cake
  • Singing a song about chinese people playing contrabass
  • “Fisher Fisher how deep is the water?”
  • “Don’t throw snowballs, one time a girl got a snowball with a stone in it in her eye and she went blind!”
  • “Charlie Chaplin went to Frankfurt…”
  • A depressed bread called Bernd
  • Knowing like 2 people who can pronound the English “th” properly
  • Humilating unathletic students in front of the whole school a.k.a. Bundesjugendspiele
  • “My grandma rides a motor bike in the hen house.”
  • Toggo Tour was like Coachella for German kids but you could never go cause they never came to your town
  • “cat toilet, cat toilet, yes that makes the cat happy”
  • “Space Taxi to the sky!”
  • “Now in every 7th egg!”
  • “Get [insert stupid ringtone here] in the Jamba Sparabo!”
  • Is it der, die or das Nutella?
  • Having friends in other states is difficult cause they’ve got school holidays when you’re still in school and vice versa
  • “Of course with the Mouse and the Elephant”

silverbutterfly17  asked:

Tell us how Steve managed to cause a disaster on his bicycle, only hours after he was banned from using motorized vehicles.

you must know steve pretty well, because that is exactly what happened.

the morning after throwing yet another motorcycle at a supervillian, steve woke up early and decided to go out and get bagels. not at all unusual, except that his favorite bagel place is in brooklyn. so naturally steve decided to just bike there.

tony keeps a dozen or so bikes in the vehicle garage, and pretty much every one of them is weirder than the one before. one is a concept made by ferrari; another one is made from bamboo and was a gift from an MIT student whose research he funded. one appears to have some sort of rocket engine attached. with selections like that, you can see why steve chose the oldest, plainest bike in the group.

what steve did not know was that this was the Deathbike.

see, when tony was 14 and starting at MIT, he wasnt licensed to drive and needed a way to get around campus quickly. so, like many other college students, he got a bike. a very nice, high-end bike, of course, but otherwise perfectly innocuous. (it was a bit too big for him. he insists it wasnt, and that he’s not short.)

tony rode it home and painted it black.

within the first month of owning the Deathbike, tony ran into two people, was run into three times by other cyclists, and just barely missed being hit by a car. tony refused to admit that either 1. the bike was cursed or 2. he was just a terrible cyclist, and instead painted a tiny white skull on the side of the bike for every collision, and rode it for the rest of his time at MIT. somehow, he survived, and no one was seriously injured. (he admits that there may have been a few broken bones. but he paid the medical bills, so it was fine.)

by the time steve took the bike out, there were twenty-seven little skulls.

steve knew none of this, and headed out on the sidewalks aboard the Deathbike. he made it a block or two on thankfully empty sidewalks before tony’s modifications kicked in.

little 14-year-old madman stark, drunk on alcohol and puberty, decided that his two-wheeled killing machine didnt go fast enough. so, using the genius and lack of foresight the stark bloodline had given him, he made some changes. and now the Deathbike has a little electric engine that kicks in after a certain speed, which basically increases how fast the bike goes per pedal. tony says the fastest he was ever clocked on it was about forty mph–but insists he could have made it faster, except he didnt want to make it too bulky.

steve was doing fifty miles an hour by the time he was six blocks from the tower.

since steve is himself, instead of maybe slowing down when he realized how fast he was going, he decided to see how fast he could get. and it turns out that a supersoldier on a bike built by teenage tony stark can go plenty damn fast.

a traffic cam on the brooklyn bridge clocked him at nearly 115 mph.

but dont forget–this is the Deathbike. it earned its name, and would fulfill its mildly inconvenient legacy regardless of who was riding it. 

also, its tires were never built for that kind of stress. 

steve turned around the corner of the block where the bagel shop is going some eighty-odd mph (having slowed down to turn), and hit a heap of cardboard. if he’d been going slower, or if the wheels had been in better shape, he might have been able to brake in time. as it was, he was still going pretty fast when he hit it. and since the universe loves to laugh at steve, the pile of cardboard was shaped pretty much like a ramp.

steve and the Deathbike went airborne.

somehow, the early morning commuters failed to notice captain america hurtling through the sky on the worlds most sadistic pedal-powered monster, so when he landed in the bed of an old metal pickup, nobody checked on him when he didn’t pop right back out. instead, the Deathbike, steve, and steve’s shiny new concussion remained right where they were, in blissful unconsciousness.

when steve finally woke up, he was somewhere in southern virginia, and there was a very confused pickup truck driver wondering how the heck he’d wound up with a giant man and a bike in his truck.

we would have made steve bike back, but we didnt want to tempt fate. instead we sent a quinjet.

the Deathbike was unscathed.

steve is not allowed to use bicycles any more. 

✨ february fanfics!! ✨

» After the Storm by ofthedells

Allura, Pidge, Hunk, Lance and Keith go camping.

» bad communication by calliopinaround

“Can we, like, stop speaking in code now actually, because I’m not anymore certain than I was two minutes ago that we’re talking about the same thing and I just want to know if you’re saying you like me back or if I just maybe read way too much into this entire conversation and made that part up?”

» Block, Punch, Dodge by chasing_the_sterek

In which Lance is a secret badass, Keith is surprisingly not as emotionally constipated as normal and everyone cheats at least little bit.

» Dancing Lions, Painted Wings by genericfanatic

Years after peace has been made between the Galran and Altean kingdoms, The witch Haggar comes for vengeance. The young symbol of peace, the half-galran, half-altean Prince Kalor is lost.

» galaxies in your eyes, flowers in my heart by Elysabeth

Lance meets his neighbor, grows flowers, almost dies, paints the universe and falls in love. Not necessarily in this order.

» Ghost of the Future by wittyy_name & Zizzani

When Lance is thrown through time, his future self from one year ahead is transported to the past in his place.

This Lance is faster, stronger, and markedly more mature. Not only that, but he’s distinctly more intuitive about his teammates and A LOT more touchy with Keith.

» Heart on Fire by dumpsterdiva 

Recipe for this fic:
1 peaceful morning jog in the park
1 auto-mechanic hothead keith
1 soccer player sinamonroll™ lance
2 cups mutual pining
A dash of angst
All the sugar in the world
Way too many bad pick-up lines
And a burn so slow you could slow roast a whole Kaltenecker

» He Sleeps in the Sky of Ice by jadencross

It’s been three months since the plan to rescue Allura, and Team Voltron has finally found each other again.

Well, almost.

» He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

When Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

» how will you know its good (because you never do) by mayerwien

Keith and Lance make a 1 AM pilgrimage to Jollibee, Keith questions everything in the known universe, and Lance just wants to eat his gravy and carbs in peace.

» i just want you to know who i am by Kyoshu_Koi

“It’s you!” Keith screamed, “It’s always been you.”

» it’s quite bizarre, and will remain this way by mayerwien

Dear Mr. Coran,

I am writing to entrust to you the care and supervision of the young man who will be working with our custodial team starting this coming Tuesday. The young man’s name, as I’m sure you already know, is Keith.

» Laughter Lines by tibetanturnips

Keith and Lance have visited Earth a few times since they became paladins twenty years ago. This time will be the hardest.

“I’ll see you in the future when we’re older and we are full of stories to be told.”

» let the whole world know by redburn

Your soulmates first words said to you are inked on your wrist at birth.

Except now Keith decided he wasn’t going to wait for his soulmate to come along, instead he was more keen on asking out the cute barista who worked near their campus.

» Love and Other Questions by squirenonny

Canonverse Soulmate AU with romantic and platonic soulmates (and some gray areas in between)

» never saw you coming by dimpleforyourthoughts

Three months in space on his own would have been fine. Three months in space with Lance McClain is a whole other fucking story.

» Of booty shorts and injuries by Queerswimming

Keith and Lance unexpectedly meet at the emergency room in the middle of the night.

» Pillars of Doubt by Sarolonde

Lance’s wild, carefree smile is missing and he’s isolating himself. Keith hates it, he misses Lance but doesn’t know how to fix it, especially when he can barely cope with his own problems. 

» Shadow of the Past by wittyy_name & Zizzani

When Lance is thrown through time, he finds himself one year in the future, in place of the Lance that should be here.

He finds his team to be remarkably familiar, yet distinctly different. They have more scars, a better grip on the whole saving the universe thing, and over a year’s worth of teamwork to bind them together. But the weirdest part? Keith seems to be a lot more touchy with him. Not that he’s complaining… much.

» The Canvas Effect by neadevar

Lance Mcclain is desperate to find his niche in the world, thought he might have when he discovered he had a soulmate. Only his soulmate seems to be a dick.

» the currents you create by theoddoodisnude

Some days, he woke up even more tired than he’d been when he’d gone to sleep, and willing his body to go through the motions was just—tough. Like wading through thigh-high water or running on soft sand that gave under the soles of his feet.

» The Hunt is Over by lilythechessie

Along the road to making the world a better place by taking down any and all Galra, Lance runs into love in the dark of night on a motor bike. Literally.

» this love has a heartbeat by ashmes

Keith has never really paid any mind to grand romantic gestures, let alone big celebrations and days dedicated to them. It didn’t make sense to him back then on Earth, still doesn’t make sense to him now that they’ve all been invited to the Festival of Love.

» together by RainPhee

Not a single member of Voltron was ready to be taking care of an alien baby themselves.

But that’s what they got.

» Voluntary Drowning by GhostFox

“Oh my god, are you always this annoying?” Keith fists a hand in his hair, tugging lightly as he tries to convince himself that the tingling in his stomach is frustration and not because the dumb quirk at the corner of Lance’s lips is kind of cute.

“Only with people who are cute when they’re mad,” he says easily, as if his own stupid words don’t embarrass him at all. Keith, however, tries to ignore how hot his cheeks feel and blame it on the sun.

“I hope you do drown.”

» you are the sun, and I am the moon (and we will never collide) by dreamingunderthetstars

Lance was Keith’s sun, and Keith was Lance’s moon.

Chasing after one another for eternity, never stopping, only running, and wising that for once, just for a little while, if they could collide.

Keep reading

Some daring driving on both their parts