motivational dwarfs

  • Kryten: Why do you wanna throw in with people like that?
  • Rimmer: Because I wanna BE somebody! I wanna have a position of authority on a scout ship exploring uncharted space! Work alongside educated men and women! Officers! People who count! (bends down to Lister) Lister, this is my one chance to seize my dream. (rises) To be with the winners! Look at me, what do you see?
  • Lister: (shrugs) Tell me!
  • Rimmer: You see a sad and lonely guy. A guy who left home at 16 to become and officer and a gentleman - and ended up as a chicken soup machine operative. Is it any wonder my father had four strokes? Is it any wonder he used to sit by the window and dribble? *I* did that to him - ME!
  • Lister: There's nothing wrong with what you did! It's just a job.
  • Rimmer: You ARE your job.
  • Kryten: NOT so, Sir. Now, was Albert Camus a goalkeeper or a philosopher? Was Albert Einstein a clerk in a patent office - or the greatest physicist who ever lived? And of course there's the oft-told tale of the simple carpenter's son who went on to own the largest chain of pizza stores in history, Harry Beedlebaum!
  • Rimmer: Kryten, Albert Einstein didn't spend the best years of his life picking out lumps of desiccated poultry from the end of his nozzle cleaner!
  • Lister: That doesn't make you a failure.
  • Rimmer: It does in my parents' eyes. It does in my brother's eyes. It does in the eyes of everyone WITH eyes. That's EXACTLY what it makes me.