Hey hey guys! So I’m at SacAnime this weekend in Sacramento! We did pretty good at Japan Expo selling The Royal Hylian Journal of Magical and Natural Biology. So we have a bew promotion with them! For a little extra, you can also get a poster print of an octorok, keese, or mothula! We have a limited ammount of these so tell your friends! Tell your enemies!
Also I finally broke down and got a twitter. Follow me at markerslinger and junk and listen for promotions, updates and just random junk. See you guys during the weekend!
IT LOOKS SO EASY CUZ ITS JUST LASER BEAMS YOU HAVE TO DODGE RIGHT!?
NO. THAT FLOOR UNDERNEATH YOU ACTS LIKE A CONVEYOR BELT THAT RANDOMLY SWITCHES DIRECTIONS
ALL THE WHILE THE FUCKING SPIKES ON THE WALL JUMP OUT AT YOU AND MOVE ALL OVER THE PLACE.
THE ONLY EFFICIENT METHOD IS TO USE A GOLDEN BEE THAT WILL ATTACK IT FOR AWHILE UNTIL IT FLIES OFF, THEN YOURE ON YOUR OWN WITH THE FIRE ROD, AND ONCE YOU RUN OUT OF MAGIC YOURE SCREWED BECAUSE THE MASTER SWORD ONLY DOES HALF AS MUCH DAMAGE AND ISNT A LONG RANGE WEAPON. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I HATE THIS THING SO MUCH I THOUGHT MY SECOND PLAYTHROUGH WOULD BE EASY BUT I HAD COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS ASSHOLE.
YOURE BASICALLY SPINNING AROUND IN HELL WHILE BEING BARRAGED AT ALL ANGLES BY BULLSHIT AND THEN YOU DIE
Hello there and welcome to part 3 of my Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass GameLog!
If I remember correctly (which Im sure I dont), we had left off after tons of minigame style sidequests. Since then, a couple more have opened up for me so im going to cover those first.
The arrow minigame.
…Just, ugh. I have no eye-hand coordination and it shows. This is the first mini game I have forgone for now. Essentially you have to aim and shoot with the touch screen at these ghost targets that appear on the top screen, also avoiding shooting the little girls that pop up. I have come to the conclusion that if all the targets were little girls, I would have completed this game a long time ago. They are the only targets ive managed to successfully hit without falter. You have to get 1700 points for a quiver upgrade and over 2000 for a heart container. I think my high score is 900 something. Yep.
The next sidequest is Jolene. Oh god, I love her. She comes out of nowhere, torpedoes your ship and ambushes you. Battling her is so fun. It’s basic, but when you defeat her, she says something different everytime, and Linebeck (your pirate sea captian friend) rewards you with like a rupee. These two have a past evidentally and I am having tons of fun unravelling thier past. Oh, and Jolene’s sister is that crazy nontamermaid lady.
I have now gotten enough Wisdom and Power gems to get the flame sword (AWESOME) and the Power Shield (…eh). Also, you’re annoying Navi companion finds out she is the Spirit of Courage. Once you complete the Spirit of Courage… Temple, it is finally time to track down that horrid Ghost Ship. Apparently now that you have the three fairies, the Ghost Ship just kinda sits in the fog and floats along. Why it didn’t ever park before is beyond me. Maybe when it saw the fairies, it just accepted its fate.
The ghost ship level itself was super good. Full of eerie music, skulltulas and poes, the setting was top notch. One problem- there were no surprises. You have to wander about saving the four Cubus sisters, who tell you they are just scared, lost souls who have been kidnapped like Tetra was. As soon as I saw the first sister, I went “Oh, its a trap.” Like seriously, if youve played Link to the Past (which if you haven’t, shame on you go play it), your first thought will be ” O hai Mothula.” Yep.
So the four sisters do thier best trying to kill you and make you throw out good treasure, until you get them all together and they flat out try and kill you. The battle is like fighting four Phantom Gannons at once. Neato.
When you defeat them, you find Tetra who is now stone. The old man Oshus who you met in the very beginning of the game reveals that he is the Ocean King (which actually kinda suprised me. Not in a “WOW” way, in a “Huh.” way) and tells you that the evil spirit Bellum (I think that is the name .n. ) has taken over the Ocean King’s Temple and that is why its such a pain in the ass. I vaguely payed attention to this speech, as I couldnt stop laughing because while this seriousness is going on Linebeck leans on StatueTetra, knocking her over. Lulz. I am the easily entertained reason that Nintendo still makes these jokes.
After the Ghost Ship, Its time for ANOTHER VISIT TO THE TEMPLE OF THE OCEAN KING. Ugh. I am really starting to get annoyed at this place. At least this time you can unlock a warp point so you don’t have to trudge through the first four floors over and over again. Still. I’m realy tired of it .n.
However, once you complete this visit, you get the SouthEast quadrant map. Yay, somewhere new! This is where I am at the moment folks, having just started my Southeastern journeys into somewhere new and exciting that will surely lead me right the hell back to another Temple of the Ocean King visit.
Ahh, I forgot to mention two things:
One, I now have the hookie claw machine hand so I can go treasure hunting on the ocean floor. Why a minigame was necessary to attach to this endeavor is beyond me.It’s just really annoying. Finally, a point to Wind Waker.
Two, The Crab boss from the Temple of Courage thing. Top screen is his vision, bottom screen is third- person you. Catch is, he is invisible on the bottom screen. You have to wait until you appear in his vision and then shoot him with an arrow. Remember when I told you I have no eye- hand coordination? Yep. This boss took twenty minutes. I’m a vessel of skill.