mothers cookies

2

tiny children

Through the cosmic kaleidoscope snapshot 

Aries:

Something in her nature is always preparing her for war. It could be with lovers, employers, teachers, or parents. It could be with herself and if she is staging to the world the woman she admires in herself. Her heels thunder through the hallways and she can raise her voice higher than the ceiling. When it comes to self expectation, her standards are quite high. She is not afraid of assertion, protecting her femininity, or defending herself against any force or feature. Every piece of herself that she has built has taken work. Libra may be the White Queen, and indelible charmer seemingly loved by the world. But the Red Queen in Aries is life and aliveness, choking at the excitement of everything, vivid, glorious, spirited, and… bonkers.

Taurus:

Taurus have a talent for beautifying everything they put their hands on, so you can almost imagine their paintbrushes stroking everything in tactile delight and leaving colours behind that nobody has seen before. Even her physical body is a canvas, she can be experimental with personal style, use meditation to create harmonics in her body, create gourmet cuisine and help flowers grow. It is her godly artistry, the substance of her inner world that gives rise to mosaics and masterpieces, the paintbrush hands that spindle thread into gold.

Gemini:

Gemini is rarely hesitant to hide her lack of fasciation or interest with certain people. She has a sophisticated social conduct but this deteriorates when she finds her company bland and tedious. She can abandon long term relationships and friendships without hesitation because she embraces the change of fresh perspectives. Her intellect cannot hide its need to ravage even greater thinkers, and it’s unapologetic in doing so. It’s always about ensuring the mind does not lapse into a mere moment of boredom, because this would mean that the Gemini is left with nothing but billions of thoughts, and they blow up like anxious butterflies.

Cancer:

The Mother Goddess in Cancer is a formidable figure of biological and spiritual activity, the waters that birth and cradle all life. But there is different sort of light or essence in Cancer, one that the inner child refuses to let go of. It is her intimacy with this internal child, the scarab, that gives her the anointed and sacred mother’s touch. The scarab was anciently regarded as a ‘very tiny cosmos’ as it symbolised entrance into the material universe. This ‘tiny cosmos’ is still active inside Cancer. It’s why she can believe that mermaids exist and immerse herself in make believe. It’s why she can enjoy simple pleasures like colouring in and eating cookie dough. Mother and Child divided and reunited by light itself. 

Leo:

The Leo can be so whipped by the crack of the ego that it can be absolutely impossible to accept criticism or failure. The Leo seeks out validation, because love and affection from other people act as a source of nourishment. She needs credit for playing her role with prestige, sometimes openly, and sometimes secretly. These words of acclaim liven her heart and energise her spirit. But this can be fleeting, and only for only a moment. The ego is always flocking close by, waiting to whisper its discouragement or dissatisfaction, hovering with poisonous thoughts that are sure to contaminate any sort of praise she received.

Virgo:

Nothing she ever accomplishes seems good enough for her mind, it slices through her like cutting criticism. The memory of every mistake that she’s ever made inundates her head and sounds like demons cackling. And this pursuit of perfection is ultimately altruistic, she only wants to be perfect so she can be perfect for others, so she can be recognised and praised, so she can hear something other than criticism. This relentless conditioning by her own mind causes her sensitive physical body to respond, she can become trapped in rituals and routine for which she sees no sense, it’s just like a compulsive ceremony to manage the onslaught.

Libra:

Libra is the ruler of the 7th house and the descendant as the sun sets. These shadows begin to dilute the personality, it requires all-consuming social needs and trepidation when faced with isolation. Libra is ultimately energised socially and activated in the pursuit of forming relationships, maintaining contracts, and upholding law. The Libra temperament can be quite unpredictable. They can experience sudden and confusing ruptures of energy that their airy mind is unable to interpret. This is when you see the shaky and tantrum energies of Libra rise from dissatisfied cardinal forces

Scorpio:

Deep down in the halls where Hades rules there is a throne glistening in sea and soul, the throne for the Princess who valiantly guards the threshold with ferocious winds and demons coursing through her hair. The blood of her fought battles tattooed into her skin, her eyes ablaze with the power and prestige of ruling the underworld. That’s no easy task for someone who thought she was a mere girl, the duty of taking souls on journeys and extracting lies and traumas like a psychic surgeon. She oozes magnetism and prowess, her presence is as noticeable as her absence, and in some way she is always watching, observing, and calculating. 

Sagittarius:

She safaris in tourist sites and ancient burial lands, the more I understand about the world she figures, the more I will understand about myself. She spots marks on atlases and sees her own heritage. She hears a language never spoken before but understands everything. She sees her own reflection in the Great Barrier Reef. She feels her heart rise with the sun. She adopts new cultures like her own. Change can be the Sagittarian’s only constant, and as the world spins she madly tries to keep up with it. She can be ravenous when her mind is hungry. She just wants to find her true self so it’s not so empty. 

Capricorn:

It was also Capricorn who is illustrated by the cloaked grim reaper, their melancholy is not romantic, but it carves out a wound in them that summons magnificent healing energy, an intimacy with pain and suffering that is pure wisdom at its core. For this, she has a unique rapport with death, and she hears the reminders of immortality louder than anyone. It’s this mutual understanding that she has established with death that generates her sorcerer’s knowledge, herbs, tonics, and angelic curatives, but also rituals. And this can be why the Capricorn repeatedly or compulsively carries out personal rituals, there is a calling in her being for return to the wind, trees, salt, and sun and once again become the crone.

Aquarius:

Aquarius is the sign of Blue Light Christ Consciousness, they are residents of the mental plane, the realisation of the inner light and kingdom, the awareness of truth and oneness with all beings. The jagged waves of their symbol represent light, not water, and electrical impulses that pass through one another other like telepathy. Aquarius contains this knowing in her jug of water, but she maintains physical form. Like a mermaid, she dwells in mysterious waters, but in true to her airy nature, her head remains in the clouds.

Pisces: 

She wrote a severe contract for earth before incarnating as Pisces. And God knows this, so her support system is rich and active. It’s ensured there are angels, guides, ancestors, and spiritual mentors always on call, this is why so many Pisces make natural spiritualists, healers, witches, and clairvoyants. The 6th sense is how she perceives, feels, knows, and understands the world. The ocean is vast and largely undiscovered, in a spiritual sense it symbolises everything. This is the experience for Pisces. The intensity of containing such spiritual mass is too harsh for a physical body. So the Pisces has many bodies she can swim into.

-C.

youtube

New video! In celebration of Mother’s Day I made a Cookie Flower Bouquet for my mom 💐🍪💕 #ad #WiltonCakes

Cancer - Baby’s Breath 

Cancer is associated with the mildew milk of the moon casting shadowy illuminations. The gloss of the moon is dusted on her body like lunar body butter, she is so safe in a dwelling where the light is only half switched on. We course deeper and deeper into the Cancer spirit, expecting to extract only darkness. But the deeper we go, the more light that seems to glow. There is a row of piano keys as you caress her memories, there is a lamp that echoes down blackened chambers, there are lunar rabbits hiding, and the sound of crying. Cancer was anciently inscribed as the scarab beetle. The scarab beetle was revered and sacredly recognised as sun, our internal sun, the heart. Cancer reflects the beams of moonlight in preparation of the light of Leo, so the activity in Cancer is illumination at its most pure. She is the esteemed mother, ultimate creative source energy. And she is also the cherished child, because Cancer does not become the mother without a child to nurture. The child within Cancer reminds her of that vulnerable innocence that cannot be destroyed. This child carries a light lantern around her heart that shimmers like the scarab’s sun. The Mother Goddess in Cancer is a formidable figure of biological and spiritual activity, the waters that birth and cradle all life. But there is different sort of light or essence in Cancer, one that the inner child refuses to let go of. It is her intimacy with this internal child, the scarab, that gives her the anointed and sacred mother’s touch. The scarab was anciently regarded as a ‘very tiny cosmos’ as it symbolised entrance into the material universe. This ‘tiny cosmos’ is still active inside Cancer. It’s why she can believe that mermaids exist and immerse herself in make believe. It’s why she can enjoy simple pleasures like colouring in and eating cookie dough. Mother and Child divided and reunited by light itself. 

-C.

[artist: mark ryden Art]

Through The Cosmic Kaleidoscope Snapshot

Aries:
Something in her nature is always preparing her for war. It could be with lovers, employers, teachers, or parents. It could be with herself and if she is staging to the world the woman she admires in herself. Her heels thunder through the hallways and she can raise her voice higher than the ceiling. When it comes to self expectation, her standards are quite high. She is not afraid of assertion, protecting her femininity, or defending herself against any force or feature. Every piece of herself that she has built has taken work. Libra may be the White Queen, and indelible charmer seemingly loved by the world. But the Red Queen in Aries is life and aliveness, choking at the excitement of everything, vivid, glorious, spirited, and… bonkers.

Taurus:

Taurus have a talent for beautifying everything they put their hands on, so you can almost imagine their paintbrushes stroking everything in tactile delight and leaving colours behind that nobody has seen before. Even her physical body is a canvas, she can be experimental with personal style, use meditation to create harmonics in her body, create gourmet cuisine and help flowers grow. It is her godly artistry, the substance of her inner world that gives rise to mosaics and masterpieces, the paintbrush hands that spindle thread into gold.

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Ghosty Pancakes

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: In an absolute state of lack of sleep and boredom, you summoned a ghost playing the ouija. Now that you have a unexpected new roommate, there is only one thing to do. Feed him, of course. 

Word Acount: 3.763

Warnings: swearing, mild mention of the ouija, Bucky being creepy (he’s a ghost what do you expect)

A/N: This is my contribution to @angryschnauzer and @ursulaismymiddlename challenge “If You Go Down To The Woods Today”. I think is painfully obvious that english isn’t my first language, and I didn’t had a beta with this one, so if you see any mistakes in the narration is because of that. Please let me know what do you think! This is my first time posting a fic in tumblr, so, again, if there is any problem message me. The credit of the gif goes for it’s respective owner.


There’s a bloody man in the middle of your living room.

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The Closet Story

Get out your tissues and prepare yourselves accordingly, because I read the 3.13 update and my mind immediately went to a conversation between Bitty and his mom later that same evening, and the common theme of everyone already knowing that Bitty and Jack are together:

“Did you get my picture?” Suzanne asked excitedly before Bitty could even say hello. Jack was watching tape on Bitty’s bed, his headphones on, carefully out of frame of the webcam. Bitty had done his cursory once-over of the room before he signed onto Skype for his meeting with his mother, just to ensure no sign of Jack was visible. Jack’s overnight bag had been carefully placed inside the closet along with his coat. He’d thrown off most of his clothes already, lying under the sheets with just his boxers and Falconers t-shirt on, and Bitty had kicked Jack’s pants and shoes into a corner.

Suzanne was wearing the jersey now, and after she asked her question she lifted it into frame so Bitty could clearly see the A embroidered to the upper left of the logo. The grin on Suzanne’s face was unmistakable, the kind that Bitty had unfortunately inherited. Neither of them had a poker face and neither of them could keep in their emotions in check when the other’s began. Bitty felt the smile tug up the corners of his lips and when his mother let go of the edges of her jersey, they were both grinning wickedly at each other.

“Yes, Mama, I got your picture,” said Bitty. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I told you I was going to get one! It just came in the mail today! Next time I see you, you should have Jack sign it for me.” Bitty forcibly refused to let his eyes drift to the right, but out of his peripheral vision Jack hadn’t flinched. He was deep into hockey robot mode right now; it wouldn’t be until Bitty climbed into the bed next to him and placed his face in front of the screen that Jack would notice anything other than footage of their upcoming opponent.

“Okay, Mama,” said Bitty.

“Make sure you tell him I’m so proud of him.”

“I already did, Mama; you told me to tell him after the ceremony –”

“Well I mean it, and it’s important that he knows. I want you to make sure you tell him that your daddy and I are so proud of him and everything he’s accomplished this year. He’s so talented and he’s so young, he’s just going to get better and better from here on out. Tell him –” Suzanne’s smile was fading and her eyes were beginning to get misty, which drained all of the happiness out of Bitty’s face. “Tell him that we love him, too, okay? Like he’s our own son. Not exactly like our own son, but maybe like a – like a –”

Keep reading

Sky’s The Limit; Connor Murphy x Reader

Word Count: 2,870

Request:  I-I’m sorry but would you please uh take this into consideration? It’s a Connor Murphy x reader where Conner is having a really bad morning(bc of Larry getting mad at Connor cuz he said he’s depressed) and the reader gets worried. And during lunch Zoe, Alana, and reader bust into the cafeteria holding a speaker and playing ‘Helpless’ while the reader plays Eliza and sings it to Connor. If it n-not to much trouble of course. If, if you don’t want to you don’t have to!

A/N: This is garbage. I’m so sorry. 

Warnings: Swearing, Larry being an asshole? Terrible writing (but what else is new?) 

Tradition was an odd word for the Murphy family. They used to have “traditions” when Zoe and Connor were kids. Every summer they went to the apple orchard and had picnics. They used to fly kites but then Zoe and Connor decided that toy airplanes were cooler so they switched to that instead.

Every fall they went to the pumpkin patch. They would go through the corn maze. Zoe and Connor would team up and try to reach the end before their parents. Sometimes Connor would start to get scared because he thought they were going to get lost but Zoe was a master at navigating her way out of a corn maze. She mostly did this by listening to the people in front of her. If she heard some kids up ahead yelling about a dead end, she knew which way to go. She would tell stories to Connor while they walked to take his mind off the idea of getting lost. Once they got home, they would watch “The Nightmare before Christmas.” It was always their favorite Halloween movie. They would eat the caramel apples that they got from a booth at the pumpkin patch until Zoe and Connor ultimately fell asleep in front of the TV.

Every Christmas, Zoe and Connor would put red and green M&M’S in their cereal to make it more festive. Their mother hated this since it wasn’t healthy. She would often scold them by saying, “that cereal already has plenty of sugar, you don’t need more!” but they didn’t listen. They would decorate together, a tradition that Connor hated because his mother was so damn particular about the way she wanted the house to look. Connor tried to start the tradition of hanging the mistletoe on one of the blades on the ceiling fan because it would make the kissing more like a sport. His parents never did this though. They would bake cookies. Well, their mother would bake cookies. Connor and Zoe would lick the frosting off of the electric beater.

These traditions dwindled over the years. They stopped doing things as a family. The traditions turned into “things Connor and Zoe would do while their parents were fighting.” This mostly included playing hangman and games where they pretended to be animals. Connor had an obsession with “The Jungle Book” and Zoe was going through a phase where she loved horses so it seemed like a good fit.

The only tradition the Murphy family seems to have these days is the daily fighting during breakfast. Connor isn’t even sure what started it this time because he mostly tuned his family out. But somehow, it lead to his father yelling at him. Actually, he wasn’t yelling at Connor, he was yelling at his wife about Connor. It was like Connor wasn’t even there. He wasn’t sure what his father was saying since he was only half listening but he did tune in long enough to hear these words:

“For god’s sake, he isn’t depressed or complicated. He’s lazy. He’s ungrateful and frankly, I’m sick of it. He has nothing but contempt for this family. What have we ever done that filled him with so much hatred? We’ve supported him, we’ve given him a good home, we’ve given him the world and he doesn’t give a damn about it.”

Connor’s ears perked up at this. Normally, he doesn’t dignify his father’s yelling with a response because he knows it will only make his father yell more but today felt different. Connor could tell there was going to be something different about that day from the minute he woke up. Today was going to be the day that he finally snapped at his father.

“What did you just say?”

His father looked at him like he had forgotten his son was there dining at the table and knowing his father, he probably had.

“You heard me.”

Connor let out a sarcastic chuckle. “No, I’m not sure I did. It sounded like you said you’ve supported me but that can’t be right. You’ve never supported me in anything.”

“See? This is exactly what I’m talking about! You don’t appreciate anything. We’ve given you everything and all you do is complain!”

“What exactly have you given me, dad? You try to control me and when that doesn’t work you just shut me out. How you are going to say that you’ve supported me when you literally just called me ungrateful and lazy? You say that I’m making things up for attention and then you turn around and try to act like you’re the father of the year. If you’re really going to say that you’re such a great dad, you should probably make sure you’re doing something worthy of that title. I don’t need a bunch of fancy, useless shit and money, dad. I need-“

He paused and then started back up again, quieter this time.

“You don’t even care what I need, do you? You don’t even know what I need because you don’t know me. You’ve never tried to know me. You don’t know anything about me.”

His father’s voice was booming. “Oh, you think I don’t know you? You think you’re such a big mystery to me? I know you! You blow through life like a complete disaster and you knock down everything and everyone in your path. I wonder if Y/N knew what she was getting into when she got with you?”

“Don’t you dare bring Y/N into this. You don’t care about her and you don’t care about me. You’ve never cared. Nothing I’ve ever done has been good enough for you. You’ve made that pretty fucking clear but you don’t get to stand here and tell me that you have supported me and then turn around and call me a disaster.”

He got up and slammed the door behind him and he tried not to think about the fact that when he father mentioned all the things he had given Connor over the years, love was not one of the words he used.

Connor was usually pretty good at hiding things, except when it came to you. He could say something in a certain tone and no one else would bat an eye but the minute he said it to you, you could tell something was wrong.

Today was no exception.

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Fine.”

This was the response he usually gave when you asked him and he usually never meant it.

“Are you sure? Did something happen this morning?”

“Just the usual shit.”

You knew Connor well enough to know that this was not the usual shit. He was tense. When you would look at him during class you could see him focused intently on the paper in front of him. He was scribbling away but you couldn’t actually see what he was writing. Every time you would try to lean closer, he would cover up the paper with his hands and he seemed to shrink in on himself. It was like he didn’t want to you to look at him, so you didn’t.

He still held your hand and walked with you to your classes. He put a smile on his face but it wasn’t a very convincing one. Something was different. This wasn’t the usual shit. Something was wrong.

Despite the fact that Connor didn’t have a good relationship with his sister, you and Zoe always got along quite nicely. You wouldn’t say you were best friends; Connor rarely invited you over because of his family, so even though you liked Zoe, you didn’t see her often.

You decided to hang outside her classroom to ask her if she knew anything about Connor. Even though the two of them weren’t particularly close, she had something that you didn’t: an inside look to the Murphy household. At the very least, maybe she could explain what happened that made Connor act this way.

“Zoe!”

Zoe and Alana stopped walking to face you.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?”

“Do you know what’s up with Connor? He seems… distant. Far more distant than usual.”

“Oh, he um- he got in a huge fight with dad this morning. Normally, Connor just shakes his head and ignores it but today, he fought back. It got pretty ugly. You even got mentioned too.”

“Me?!”

“Yeah, but don’t worry. Connor shut that down real quick. He wasn’t going to take any chance of our dad talking shit about you.”

Your pride in your boyfriend surged at the mention of these words. Connor had defended you before. You’ve seen him go off on a fair amount of people once he found out that they were messing with you in some way. You’ve even had to stop him from getting into a few fights because you didn’t want him to kill anyone or take a chance of getting expelled. But the fact that Connor was willing to stand up to his nightmare of a father, just to defend you when you weren’t even around, made your heart melt. Even though people thought Connor was a troublemaker, he was genuinely a very caring boyfriend. You wished more people about that side of him.

The three of you continued to talk. Zoe told you more details of the conversation and you all collectively agreed that Larry Murphy was an asshole. Even though Zoe didn’t always get along with Connor, she seemed to think that her father went too far this time.

You kept thinking back on how happy Connor made you. You felt overwhelmed by this urge to just show him that you appreciate him, that you love him.

To be perfectly honest, you weren’t really expecting Zoe and Alana to go along with your plan but you needed the both of them if you wanted to make this perfect. You were genuinely excited that they both seemed so eager to help.

Zoe Murphy was more rebellious than you originally thought. She somehow managed to learn the schedules of all the teachers in the music department. You watched her remove a bobby pin, pick the lock with ease and before you knew it you were walking down the hallway with the speaker in your hands.

Alana took care of all the choreography. You weren’t really sure how she learned to dance so well but she just shrugged like it was no big deal.

By the time lunch rolled around, the three of you were ready. You felt slightly nervous. You’ve never done anything like this before and you weren’t sure how Connor would react to it. You didn’t want to embarrass him or somehow make him more upset. You were doing this purely to lift his spirits and you hoped he would receive it that way.

You felt Zoe’s hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N, breathe. We’ve got this.”

Before you could even think of a response, the doors of the cafeteria opened with a loud thud.

Complete silence in the cafeteria is not a sensation that you are accustomed to. It catches you off guard to hear the ringing of complete calm in a room full of teenagers that you almost forget what you were meant to be doing in the first place.

Zoe pressed play on the speaker and you almost missed your cue.

Connor sat through lunch with two thoughts on his mind:

Where is Y/N? and Why the fuck is someone singing?

The voice seemed to be drawing nearer and getting louder and Connor was struck by the feeling that the voice was definitely familiar. He turned to see you. Your gaze was locked on him and he felt speechless.

“You look back at me and suddenly I’m helpless.”

He could feel his neck heating up and a blush spreading across his skin. He could feel people looking at him and his first instinct was to run or hide. People already thought of him as a “freak” and he tried his best to keep attention off of himself so that it wouldn’t become worse.

Look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit. I’m helpless. Down for the count and I’m drowning in ‘em.”

He recognized the song. It was from one of those damn musicals that you loved so much. Even though he would never admit it, he actually really liked it. You’ve played it for him before and he couldn’t deny that it had a way of getting stuck in his head. He’s often caught himself singing it underneath his breath while painting his nails. He has a particular soft spot for Hamilton’s verse. He sometimes likes to imagine that he’s singing to you. Now, oddly enough, you’re the one singing it to him.

One week later, I’m writing a letter nightly. Now my life gets better, every letter that you write me.”

He felt hypnotized by the performance. Zoe’s backing vocals worked well with yours. Alana’s voice was nice too. Although, he wasn’t sure if that was actually her name. he didn’t really know anything about Zoe’s friends.

All thoughts of embarrassment were gone. Everyone else seemed to fade away, even Zoe and Alana. It was like you and Connor were the only two people in the room.

You were dancing happily and Connor couldn’t help but smile at the sight. He would also be lying if he said he didn’t find it wildly attractive. Every movement you made spoke to him like a form of poetry. He watched you move your hips and he had to fight down the desire to grab you by the waist and pull you into him. He wanted to feel your body melt into his. He wanted to kiss your lips and tell you how fucking exquisite you were.

“That boy is mine.

“That boy is mine.”

You made your way to Connor and draped your body over his lap. He looked down and winked at you and chuckled at the blush that was suddenly painted over your face.

You lifted yourself up and suddenly the two of you were face to face.

“I look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit.”

He saw that familiar spark in your eyes that he loved so much. He was so easily captivated by your eyes. Every time he looked into them he felt like he could dive into the bottom of your soul. You were looking at him like you were seeing past all the flesh and bone and bullshit rumors. It was like you were looking into the real Connor, the one that he wasn’t even really familiar with himself.

And he felt fucking helpless.

*****

“Absolutely. Not. No fucking way.”

“Connor! I think this is a great idea!”

Ever since you performance, you’ve been trying to convince Connor that “Helpless” should be “your song.”

Connor shot this idea down by saying, “That’s so fucking dumb. Who says that every couple has to have a song, anyway?”

“Well I guess we don’t have to but it would be nice, don’t you think?”

Connor did think it would be nice but he wasn’t ready to admit that yet.

He continued on, “Besides, don’t you think Alexander and Eliza are a terrible couple to represent us? He fucking cheated on her!”

“Okay, that is true. Although, he wrote her some really romantic letters.”

You pulled out your phone to look for an example. You didn’t even notice Connor staring at you in adoration while you did it.

“Here! Listen to this: ‘I have told you, and I told you truly that I love you too much. You engross my thoughts too entirely to allow me to think of anything else- you not only employ my mind all day; but you intrude upon my sleep. I meet you in every dream- and when I wake I cannot close my eyes again for ruminating on your sweetness.’ See? Isn’t that fucking romantic, Connor?”

Connor did think that it was romantic but he wasn’t ready to admit to that either.

“I’m not saying he wasn’t a smooth talker but he was also kind of a prick. He also once wrote her a letter complaining that she didn’t write him enough. Then he bitched about how she had no excuse not to write him because she didn’t work like he did and she had all the time in the world to just sit around and think about him. That’s ridiculous! How fucking self-important do you have to be to just assume that a woman has nothing better to do with her time than lay around and think about a man?”

You agreed that this was shitty but you still rolled your eyes.

“It’s just a song, Connor. It’s our song.”

So he let you play it for him one more time and he- reluctantly – agreed. It was perfect. Now that he was listening to it again, it didn’t feel like Hamilton and Eliza. It felt like you and him.

He caught himself singing it under his breath and he hoped you couldn’t hear him.

You could hear him but you pretended that you didn’t. Still, you couldn’t help but smile at the words.

I look into your eyes and the sky’s the limit.”

haroldhutchinsofficialremade  asked:

every part. hit me w that sweet Evie Meta Masterpost i live for descendants meta but especially villain kids meta and ESPECIALLY evie meta

ok so this is gonna be. cluttered and messily written bc adhd

evie loves her mom. evie adores her mom. 

she loves when her mother teaches her something new she can do with her makeup and when her mother smiles proudly at an outfit she made all by herself and she loves cooking with her mother even if the food of the isle is rotting and she loves little things like how her mom steals extra fabric for her and how her mom seduces men sometimes to get her things she doesn’t really need. sure, sometimes her mom yells and won’t stop yelling when she messes up and sometimes her mom treats her like nothing but an extension of who the queen once was and sometimes evie wonders if her mother really loves her or just loves what she’s created, but most of the time evie’s mother is great! 

a little bit too critical of flaws that carlos says she’s made up and a little too strict on what evie can and can’t eat and a little insistent that evie needs to find a prince even though god knows there aren’t any princes on the isle and how is evie ever supposed to live up to all these standards? but evie loves her mother. 

she loves her mother so, so dearly, even when her thumbs are bleeding because they don’t have a thimble and she can barely feel her fingers because they’re so cramped from all the cooking and the cleaning she does around the house to have any worth at all and her stomach feels like it’s eating herself not just because everyone on the isle is starving but because grimhilde noticed a little bit of fat around evie’s waist and dizzy asks her why her knees are trembling under the barely there weight of the rest of her and carlos looks like he might cry just looking at how much of her isn’t there.

she’s fine, of course. her mother makes her do all of this so she can marry a prince one day! so they can live in a castle! so evie can be everything her mother once was (and maybe more, she hopes for more)! 

evie’s mother doesn’t make her do chores the same way cruella does to carlos and she doesn’t look at her emptily like maleficent looks at mal and she doesn’t force evie to do anything like jafar forces jay to and she doesn’t even actually yell, really, sometimes she’s just harsher and angrier so what does evie have to complain about? she never has black eyes or bruised arms or threats of sleeping outside like she knows other vk do so it’s all perfectly fine. her mother is pretty good, as far as mothers go. even if evie is pretty sure she needs needs needs her mother to know what to do in life and jay’s told her quietly that him and mal don’t really think it’s all that healthy that she still calls her mom mami and she has to ask before she makes decisions but, really, neither of them have good relationships with their parent so they wouldn’t know anyway. 

sometimes, she doesn’t understand her friends. like she doesn’t get why carlos looks at her like that when she talks about boys or why sometimes he asks her about mal so quietly she can barely hear him. she doesn’t get why dizzy says her and mal are like mothers to the young girl or why carlos smiles so sadly when she does or why mal shifts uncomfortably and looks at evie like that, like carlos but worse somehow because it makes evie’s whole chest hurt.

she doesn’t understand any of it, not until auradon. 

not until she messes up while fixing her eyeliner in front of audrey and audrey lets her know with no venom at all, no disappointment to her voice or disgust in her eyes. 

not until lonnie asks if her mother ever made her cookies to make her feel better and cries when she can’t even say anything to that. 

not until she gets a b+ without the mirror (without her mother) and she cries for 12 minutes because she never knew she was anything but pretty. 

not until chad doesn’t even care that she can sew and cook and clean just like cinderella but doug asks her softly what she really knows about cinderella’s story. 

not until ben freaks out because he sees her struggle to open a door and freaks out even more when he finds out how little she weighs. 

not until she sees how much audrey’s grandmother cares about aurora and how ben can smile and laugh with his parents and how lonnie hugs her mother tightly like she feels safe there and how fairy godmother wants nothing more than for jane to see the beauty inside of her. 

not until she kisses doug for the first time and she feels nothing at all, except maybe a little grossed out. 

not until she realizes why her stomach drops every time ben goes to kiss mal and her insides soar every time mal ducks out of the way of his lips. 

not until she sees what love actually looks like.

Sometimes you realize how lonely you are when its 2 a.m on a school night and you can’t stop crying over his favorite song. sometimes you realize this when its 4 p.m on a Sunday afternoon and your mother just baked you cookies and there is sunlight hitting the windows at just the right angle to warm your skin and you are smiling and laughing until suddenly there is a hole in your chest because the chocolate chips are the same color as his eyes.

you think you are over him until someone says his name and you are fourteen again, carrying your heart home in your backpack because he didn’t want it.

this kind of pain will always surprise you because it won’t always be there. you will get used to feeling alive until it comes back and you can’t quite remember how to deal with it.

i hope you remember how you felt alive before you met him.
i hope you feel that way again.

—  it won’t hurt like this forever– lily rain