motherfucking unicorns

It hasn’t been up on my Twitter for too long but I already got an anonymous message calling me a fucking furry and a fag. I’m not offended, I think it’s hilarious and I have an inkling on who it is. I’m debating if I should write them a letter politely asking them to kindly fuck off 😊😊😊

When in Doubt: Choose Pat Benatar (Garth x Reader)

Characters: Garth x Reader, Sam, Dean

Word Length: 1951

Request: “ Omg you know who needs love?? Garth. Garth does. Can you write something with awkward Garth fluff? Maybe like the reader has to ride on his lap because there’s not enough room in the Impala? And the reader has been secretly crushing on Garth since he saved her on a hunt.”  

Hope you don’t mind, but I kind of did bit of a rewrite of Party On, Garth, because I really wanted to yell at Garth for wearing MC uniforms incorrectly.  If this isn’t what you’re looking for, just let me know and I’ll write you a more original story.  I also made the reader a bit more bit angrier.  So way less fluff than you’d originally asked for.  So, honestly, just tell me to give it another pass if I missed the mark.  

Warnings: Swearing, Hunting Injuries, slightly dom!reader (if that needs a warning.

A/N:  I’m sorry this one took forever.  This move totally kicked my ass.  I knew what I wanted to write but could find either the time or motivation to write.  I actually wrote most of this yesterday, but forgot to save and it was lost to the digital ethos.  So that’s 98% of the reason the reader is so mean. Also, I know Marines currently roll their sleeves, by they didn’t when this episode aired.  I remember because it was right around the time my husband (then bf) started shouting “I don’t have to roll sleeves anymore!”  They do now.  They look sexier.  Except they take like an hour to roll properly.  


“What.  The fuck.  Are you wearing,” you said through gritted teeth as you took in Garth’s Marine uniform.

“What?  I just…look good in uniform,” he dismissed.

“You’re not even wearing it right!”  You stormed across the room snatching the cover off his head.  

“You don’t wear covers in doors!  And if you were to wear one it sits on your head, not down by your ears.”  You grabbed his arm, pulling down his poorly rolled sleeves.  Your steely gaze locked on his shocked expression.   

“Sleeves are never rolled.  Collars are worn down.”  You leaned in, adjusting his collar, running your hands across his chest.  

“W-where is your rank, corporal?”  You leaned closer, standing on your toes so your face was only an intimated two inches from his.  

“And, Garth, for the record. Marines can’t wear camis’ off base. Spring for some Charlies or impersonate another branch.”  You patted his cheek roughly before turning away from him and snatching the victim’s file from Sam. 

 The brothers exchanged glances before choosing to ignore your behavior and discuss the case.  You watched Garth through your eyelashes.  

You didn’t say goodbye when he left the morgue to change before meeting you at the brewery. Instead you slipped into a pair of latex gloves ready to examine the victim.

“What’s the deal with you and Jar Head back there,” Dean asked.

“What are you talking about?”  You dismissed, pulling the sheet off the body.

“Come on.  That was cold even for you,” Dean scoffed.

“As a matter of fact, I am a warm and loving person.  Now hand me the forceps.”

Keep reading

I thought of an idea to celebrate my blog getting 500 followers! I’m going to make a list of all of my 500 followers! And then at the end i’m going to list all of my favorite blogs! I know this is going to take a long time but i don’t care. I’m also going to list the people who followed after i reached 500 followers so you won’t feel left out. So here we go! LET’S DO THIS!

Keep reading

The reasons I ship cockles~

They are/behave/do:

* Cute af 😊
* Handsome af 😍
* Playful af 😁
* boyfriends af 😘
* whipped af 😳
* married af 💕
* protective of each other af 🔫
* nicknames af 🙈
* naughty af 🙊
* touchy-feely af 😉
* Possessive af (mainly Jensen, have you seen his hands in all the cockles photo ops 😂)
* Bashful af (Jensen again, blushing bby) 😚
* Heart Eyes motherfucker 😻 * Unicorn laughs, gummy grins and silly jokes 😆
* Whispering in each other’s ears while smiling like fools 😭
* Bicker like an old married couple 😅
* compliment each other (Jensen likes his new cologne and Misha thinks he is the coolest for untangling that crab trap lol) ☺️
* They flirt on Twitter 😝
* They go on dates with their families 😃
* Boat rides & sunset pics/frisbee & ice cream dates/spa massages 😏

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT: They make me happy~

Are you Cockles af?

anonymous asked:

Ti prego, incontriamoci da qualche parte del cosmo, sposiamoci e non facciamo figli (perché parliamone, porcoddio, chi ha la testa per star dietro a dei marmocchi urlanti?). A presto, mio amore. 🌈 -Motherfucking unicorns' queen

Se il fato lo vorrà ci incontreremo e non avremo tanti bambini, direi anche di non sposarci perché andiamo, chi cazzo ha voglia di vestirsi eleganti?!

anonymous asked:

Why do you have to make sex so fucking complicated? I get it, you have done other stuff than getting a cock in and out of you, that means you're still a virgin. Oral sex isn't the same as penetrated sex anyway. So why make it hard, why not just say "yes i'm a virgin" ??? I've done my fair share of things too, but i haven't had penetrated sex yet, so if people ask me, i tell them fuck yeah i'm a virgin, motherfucking unicorn right here. Seriøst nokken gang så bare irritere du me mæ all dritten

BECAUSE IT IS DIFFERENT FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE I CLASS THE WHOLE LOT OF IT AS SEX BUT I DONT BELIEVE IN VIRGINITY. ARE LESBIANS ALWAYS VIRGINS TO YOU. DONT BE SO FUCKING IGNORANT.