I was walking around my town, drinking a milkshake, when I saw a nearby gym suddenly turn Red. Because I have never given Team Valor an inch in their goddamn life, I immediately trekked my way over to ruin their success.
The gym was a train depot, and sitting on the bench outside was a dude my age. I had to pause next to him to throw away my empty milkshake, and while I was doing so he struck up a conversation with me. I guess my sweaty, no makeup face was attractive in the 90˚F weather.
Anyway, he asked me if I was playing Pokemon Go. I said yes, and we started talking about the game. I invited him to watch as I totally decimated the Red gym and claimed it for Team Mystic. We exchanged high-fives, and then he asked me if I wanted to smoke some weed.
“Uh, I have asthma,” I awkwardly said, which was true. I also just didn’t want to smoke weed at three in the afternoon with someone I didn’t know, even if we had just bonded over playing Pokemon Go. For some reason, I apologized for having asthma, because I’m an awkward peanut. “Yeah, it’s really lame, sorry.”
“No, no, asthma isn’t lame,” Random Dude (Whose name I never actually caught) quickly assured me, “it’s just a part of you, y’know? You don’t have to apologize for something you can’t control.”
After that… Strangely uplifting exchange we parted ways, and I walked home feeling oddly validated and more comfortable with my asthma. So yeah. Pokemon Go really does bring people together.
Things that should have been taught in highschool:
-How to properly and safley drive
-What the fuck taxes are and how to do them
-Drugs you should never think about touching
-How to design a hirable resume
-Why you should and how to vote, including how to read the ballot
-Basic psychology/sociology on how to read emotions and talk to people
-The gist of credit, debit, bank accounts, etc. and how to manage money
I’m really, really sad about Philip Seymour Hoffman’s death. He was a brilliant actor and probably an amazing person and i’m sad we won’t ever see him on screen after Mockingjay part 1 and 2.
But I am so mad it’s due to drugs. Why the fuck would you risk your life to get high for a few hours? I’ve never understood before I and never will. It’s ridiculous and stupid and it makes me want to punch people in the throat.