motherfucking dog


“She’s always so cheery with her endless questions you’d have no idea she’s so sad inside. She wears that mask well.”

If there was actually cursing in FMA
  • Roy: God Fucking dammit Fullmetal, not this shit again.
  • Edward: Fuck you! Fuck everything! Fuck everyone!
  • Hohenheim: Damn it, this fuckin- *SPOILERS*
  • Me: Sorry Hoho
  • Riza: Shut your bitch ass mouth Colonel.
  • Al: *can't bring himself to curse* Darn it?
  • Winry: Ed if you break your arm again I will fuck you up! FUCK. YOU. UP.
  • Jean: Gotta get at that p-
  • Black Hayate: BARK BARK MOTHERFUCKER. *Dog Intensifies*
  • Me: Jean:
  • Me:

Let’s get some small Oda hcs out before his birthday ends yea?   -C

Oda Sakunosuke

  • He’s always wanted to go on the big ferris wheel in Yokohama but never got the chance to. Dazai, ango, and him promised they’d go for Oda’s birthday one year but yknow things happen.
  • Usually the one to carry Ango or Dazai to a cab or their own cars if they happen to get obliterated at the bar. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does he’ll drive them home and walk the rest of the way to his place depending on whose car he took.
  • When he reads with the kids he’ll do different voices for each character in the story.
  • Speaking of those adorable kids, his favorite sound to hear is their laughter. He’s really at ease when he comes back from work and hears them giggling.
  • He can’t sleep well if the area around him is too noisy. Trees and rain are one thing but people yelling and stomping are another so he learns to invest in earplugs when it gets a little rambunctious near his apartment (which isn’t too often).
  • Made the mistake of trying Dazai’s homemade (experiments) cooking a second time and blacked out for 8 hours only to find himself sleeping in front of his apartment door.
  • Every so often he’ll take a good hour-long bath to release some tension and ends up almost falling asleep every time.
  • He’s really good at cards and gambling in general but darts are by far the thing he’s best at and it helps that he enjoys it.
  • This man can give a real thorough massage that has the recipient moaning and groaning the entire time. He’s a bit rough when he gets super focused on getting knots out but snaps out once the person asks him to go a little lighter.
  • If he has a nightmare he usually won’t try to go back to sleep after it. He’ll make tea and write small blurbs of stories he thought about during the week cause if he did try to go to sleep after, he’d just wake up again from more bad dreams.
  • When one of the kids has a birthday, he always gets them a gift they go wild over. He picks up subtle hints as to what their likes and dislikes are until he ends up ruminating on the perfect present for them.
    •  For his birthday he really didn’t expect the kids to get together with the restaurant owner to make him his favorite curry. It ends up a little soggy and a little too spiced but he eats every ounce and loves it.
Hamilton lines I find hilarious


“My dog speaks more eloquently than thee”


“I think your pants look hot”

“Lauren’s I like you a lot ;)”

“He looked at me like I was stupid, I’m not stupid”

“I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love”

“Everything is legal in New Jersey”

I’m Sure As Hell The Happiest I’ve Ever Been

I wanted to write a lil something now just for the time being whilst I try to finish my other 20k fic which is proving to be a Monster to complete lol so look forward to that soon at some point!!

Happy (belated) birthday Dan. Hope you didn’t get too hungover today.

summary: the tour is ending, and after flitting from coast-to-coast, city-to-city and living in a bus for a month, dan and phil visit vegas again. copious amounts of alcohol later, dan realises he’s happy. and kind-of still in love. (loosely based on vegas by all time low [x])

warnings: emo 2012/2016 comparisons, smut (surprise surprise) swearing, getting drunk, I guess pretty much everything else you’d expect in a vegas fic lol

words: 5.6k


“But this time around, four years later, it’s like someone has turned the saturation of the city up. Turned up the contrast, the definition, the volume, the sharpness, brightness and every single other enhancement, and when Dan looks out into the view glittering in front of them, it feels like he’s wearing glasses for the first time. Everything just looks so much more beautiful through happier eyes.

Phil turns to Dan, and his eyes flit down to his lips for a split second. On a pocket-sized screen, four zeros line up.

“Happy birthday,” he whispers, holding up his shot glass.”



Stepping into Las Vegas is like stepping straight into a movie.

It’s like stepping out of the monochrome clockwork routine of daily life and into a whirlwind of colours and buzzing machines; a world where rules and inhibitions are dropped like coins into a slot, and money is spilt like alcohol. For a place that’s famous for its drunken wedding vows and tattoos in unspeakable places, it’s really quite incredible that somewhere so outrageous actually exists in the world. It just sounds so fictional.

They say New York is the city that never sleeps, but since they arrived Dan hasn’t seen a single club, casino or shop that isn’t twenty-four hour. Flashes of colour and lights blink through every minute of every day, illuminating the land in neon excitement and spontaneity, and to be honest, even after travelling through state-after-state, flitting from town-to-town, Dan hasn’t seen a city quite this colourful.

It hasn’t changed a bit since they last came. The minute Dan’s foot had touched Vegas ground, he’d felt twenty-one again. It’s almost as if time stops here, like the past four years haven’t happened at all and the reason they’re even here isn’t because they’re reaching the end of their international tour, but instead simply because two guys with longer fringes with a following of way less than a million between them wanted a holiday.

Keep reading

Actual lines from critically acclaimed 5 star musical Hamilton

“Awesome, wow”

“Um, france?”



“My dog speaks more eloquently than thee”

“Everything is legal in New Jersy”

“Yes I heard your mother say “come again?””

“Hey turn around, bend over, I’ll show you where my shoe fits”

Signs as Ezra Koening tweets
  • Aries: a writer once asked what I'd say if I ever met my biggest hater. I paused, thought deeply, and said, "probably 'suk a dog dik, motherfucker'"
  • Taurus: u say "I don't give a fuk" but merely desire 2 not give a fuck. When ur last fuk is truly given, a wave of silent euphoria will wash over u
  • Gemini: "What a beautiful morning! I should quite like to compose a tweet"
  • "Very good sir, shall I bring the droid?"
  • Cancer: I pretend to look at the wine list rly hard and then just order the second cheapest one. U can apply this technique to anything
  • Leo: look upon my prettiness, ye motherfuckers, and despair
  • Virgo: the biggest factor contributing to the break-up of the American family unit is GETTING 2 THE MOVIES LATE. I TOLD U IT WOULD BE CROWDED!
  • Libra: went undercover as a woman to solve a crime. ended up in a love triangle and hurt someone I cared abt but JUSTICE WAS SERVED & now I'm back
  • Scorpio: this trend of self-induced subungal hematoma (blood under fingernails) is wack. It's NOT nail art. the black-purple color is gr8 4 fall tho
  • Sagittarius: when the flight attendant asks what u wanna drink: slowly turn ur head, lower ur sunglasses and say "milk shake" in a Russian accent
  • Capricorn: when someone calls you "unsavory" it means they think ur sweet right?
  • Aquarius: most important phrase to learn in every language is "I understand every word you're saying, motherfukker"
  • Pisces: the "Special Skills" section of my resume was 1. Polite 2. Not scared of most animals 3. Can draw manga (face only, no hands)

Wow, so basically I take a 4 hour nap and return to see that @psa-callout is even more of a disgusting piece of grade A trash than we originally thought. What a spineless, pathetic dumpster trash fire. This golden shower, wrinkly turtle dick, bottom of a chum bucket glob of slime, cat shit between a stray dogs teeth motherFUCKER, can meet me behind a McDonald’s so I can curb stomp them on a rock solid cheeseburger - Hawkeye 🐝