motherfucking dog


“She’s always so cheery with her endless questions you’d have no idea she’s so sad inside. She wears that mask well.”

Don’t question my otp’s

Friend:“I don’t even understand why you ship them they’re not even gay or cannon.You seriously have an obsession.”

Me:“Never fucking speak to me or my 37 opened fanfic tabs ever again.This is why you will never find true love, for fucks sake you would’nt recognize it if it was slaping you across the face with a fucking dildo while twerking to some sappy love song screaming”I FUCKING LOVE YOU”in a motherfucking hot dog costume, you closed minded asshat.”

fic: My Neighbour’s Dog, Totoro

title: my neighbour’s dog, totoro.

rating: pg-13 / genre: strangers to lovers / warnings: swearing

word count: 3900

description: dan knew he was getting a new neighbour but he wasn’t expecting their first meeting to involve the guy’s giant shiba inu running into his apartment and tackling him to the floor. fate works in mysterious ways, though, he supposes.


Keep reading

Signs as Ezra Koening tweets
  • Aries: a writer once asked what I'd say if I ever met my biggest hater. I paused, thought deeply, and said, "probably 'suk a dog dik, motherfucker'"
  • Taurus: u say "I don't give a fuk" but merely desire 2 not give a fuck. When ur last fuk is truly given, a wave of silent euphoria will wash over u
  • Gemini: "What a beautiful morning! I should quite like to compose a tweet"
  • "Very good sir, shall I bring the droid?"
  • Cancer: I pretend to look at the wine list rly hard and then just order the second cheapest one. U can apply this technique to anything
  • Leo: look upon my prettiness, ye motherfuckers, and despair
  • Virgo: the biggest factor contributing to the break-up of the American family unit is GETTING 2 THE MOVIES LATE. I TOLD U IT WOULD BE CROWDED!
  • Libra: went undercover as a woman to solve a crime. ended up in a love triangle and hurt someone I cared abt but JUSTICE WAS SERVED & now I'm back
  • Scorpio: this trend of self-induced subungal hematoma (blood under fingernails) is wack. It's NOT nail art. the black-purple color is gr8 4 fall tho
  • Sagittarius: when the flight attendant asks what u wanna drink: slowly turn ur head, lower ur sunglasses and say "milk shake" in a Russian accent
  • Capricorn: when someone calls you "unsavory" it means they think ur sweet right?
  • Aquarius: most important phrase to learn in every language is "I understand every word you're saying, motherfukker"
  • Pisces: the "Special Skills" section of my resume was 1. Polite 2. Not scared of most animals 3. Can draw manga (face only, no hands)

gmw band au album information + we are mad dogs (band picks)

t r i v i a // mad dogs’ first compilation album. released a year after their final tour and official break-up, the album serves as a surprise to fans for sticking with them and enjoying their music. the concept was pitched by zay before they left on their last world tour, and completed upon returning home. each band member selected the five tracks of all their songs that meant the most to them and then offered commentary / trivia in pre-tracks for a richer, more intriguing listening experience. it serves as the last “band chat” i.e., all the bandmates talking to the fans together through an album.

[ FM ] [ ZB ] [ LF ] [ DW ]

o p e n i n g  c o m m e n t a r y:

ZB: Hello. Anybody there? Hi!

DW: Hi!

FM: Hey.

ZB: Hey, fans! Lucas, say hello.

LF: Hi.

[ All of them laugh. ]

FM: That was anti-climatic.

LF: You put all this pressure on me. We could’ve just moved past it. The moment had passed.

DW: He put you on blast. It’s been recorded. Forever.

LF: I hate it when that happens.

ZB: Okay, okay. Okay. [ Through giggles. ] So! If you guys are listening to this it means our final tour has ended and we’ve officially released We Are Mad Dogs, which is hopefully what you’re listening to right now. Otherwise, I don’t know how you’re hearing this and that’s a little terrifying.

Keep reading