motherfucking brand new

If Dan and Phil had a baby.
  • Baby: R-R-R
  • Phil: What are you trying to say? Red? Ring?
  • Baby: Rise and shine, motherfucker. It's a brand new day. Are you just going to stay in bed like a wuss, or are you going to get up and grab life by the titballs!? Are you a wuss? ARE YOU A WUSS!? IS YOU A WUSS!?!?
  • Phil: DANIEL I SWEAR TO GOD…

anonymous asked:

i was in swedish class and i had forgotten to turn off my alarm so it went off in the middle of the class and i honestly wanted to Die because my alarm is that audio of dan saying "rise and shine motherfucker it's a brand new day.." please kill me

HAHAHAHAHAHA oh my god i would say i’m sorry but that’s brilliant

THIS REMINDS ME, the other day it occurred to me that I should stop making stuff up and give in to my actual destiny, which is to write a prep school AU, which quickly evolved into: Kate as Derek’s older juvenile delinquent girlfriend who sweet-talks him into all kinds of bad behavior including just like, a little minor arson. She has him do all the heavy lifting; she’s 18, she’s got a record, she can’t risk it, and he’s sixteen and blind with wanting her so he says yes every time.

He doesn’t realize that they’re targeting the dance studio where his little sister takes lessons– all those suburban houses look the same from the back, he doesn’t know– and he doesn’t realize that this one will really catch, the ground dry in a drought, flames sparking up across scattered leaves and onto the porch and the can of gas Mrs. Pressman keeps out back for emergencies. Everyone makes it out safe but Derek dreams about it every night: the last firefighter emerging with smoke-black Cora clutched in his arms, her little pink tights ripped and charred, the hack of her cough for days after. Confession doesn’t ease the burden, but it does get him sent to some reform school for fuckups and headcases.

WHICH is where he meets Stiles, who’s also sixteen and grieving his mother’s death, whose behavior has been erratic and mostly non-violent, but eventually even there was nothing a small-town Sheriff could do, too many teachers complained, couldn’t pay for the local private school, had to send him to one of his old buddies from the academy who does security at Beacon Academy for Rowdy Boys. ARE THEY ROOMMATES. Yeah, you know, I think they are. 

At first they don’t get along. Obviously. Stiles is like, they put me in with an actual delinquent, I’m just having a hard time, I don’t want to live with this nutty pyro! And Derek is kept awake by Stiles’ unending stream of nightmares, the twitching and talking and screaming. That’s what drives them together, Derek gaunt and shadow-eyed, saying “dude, you have to talk to someone about whatever’s going on in your head, I can't sleep.”

Talking about what was going on in my head is what landed me here. Not making that mistake twice.”

“I know the feeling,” Derek says before he can stop himself.

“No, you don’t.”

“Listen, asshole, I turned myself in.” Derek is across the room before he means to be, fingers twisted in the front of Stiles’ shirt, their faces too close. “I knew I was dangerous and I knew this would be a shithole, but I didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore, I didn’t want–”

“Hey.” Stiles reaches up and untwists each finger, one by one by one. “Okay. Okay. I didn’t know.” He settles back onto the edge of his bed and Derek sinks down next to him, puts his head in his hands. 

“I said I had dreams about killing people,” Stiles says softly. “Every dumb asshole who showed up to mom’s funeral, their big dumb grinning faces, saying sorry, sorry, like it was their job to grieve her, like they knew, like they had any right to–” he sucks in a breath and unclenches his own hand where it’s buried in the sheets. “I wasn’t going to do it.” He says. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt, either.”

They start talking a little bit, sometimes, while they do homework, sitting together at meals. Derek’s family comes to visit and Stiles sees how he is with them: lost in the fray of so many voices and opinions and bodies, second to youngest and not even the baby anymore. He just looks and looks at Cora and doesn’t touch her, seething with how much he loves her, how scared he is to love her, and Stiles feels the exact same burn spreading, flames licking under his own skin. The Sheriff comes and he and Derek talk about his case, a little bit, his legal strategies. Seeing his father’s gruffness get soft loosens something in Stiles. “I miss you,” he admits at the end of the visit, bringing up the words from all the ugliness twisted up inside of him, feeling out the idea that loving someone might not always end hideously after all.

The nightmares slow but they don’t stop. At some point Derek takes to just crawling into bed with Stiles, their long bodies spilling over its edges, and it’s not like he sleeps so much better, really, except in the earliest hours of the morning, when they’re both warm and pliable and too tired to pretend, when Stiles wraps his arms around Derek’s body and pulls his face against his neck, and the morning sunlight comes in through the window and somehow, for a few hours, they both feel safe. 

anonymous asked:

Rise and shine motherfucker it's a brand new day. Are you going to stay in bed like a wuss? Or are you going to get up and grab life by the tit balls? Are you a wuss? Are you a WUSS? IS YOU A WUSS?

i just changed all of my alarms’ sounds to “is you a wuss” by dan and I’m so not ready to wake up tmrw to “RISE AND SHINE MOTHERFUCKER ITS A BRAND NEW DAY…”

why did I do this to myself

(side note: i am one of those people who sets like five to fifteen alarms in the morning to wake up)

Sharing beds - Oli White Imagine

Plot: Right after Vidcon Zoe and Louise arranged a huge youtuber getaway but then when you arrived at the beach house you didn’t have a room but Oli offered his room to you.

(A/N Let’s say everyone in this imagine are really close like no awkwardness or whatever. They’re really close. And this a very very long one so um sorry about that)

It was the end of Vidcon And you were packing your stuff to go to the beach for tomorrow. Zoe and Louise initially thought of this plan way before vidcon l and invited 30 people but only 22 of you could go. So the people who came were : Zoe, Alfie, Louise, Niomi, Marcus, Caspar, Joe, Oli, Tanya, Jim, Dan and Phil, Louis, Hazel, the Harries twins, Connor, Troye, Tyler, Joey, Cat, and You.

Everyone who was invited planned to stay in one hotel so the meet up and transportation would be much easier. At that time you ended up sharing a hotel room with Cat, Joey and Tyler.

First you were quite awkward with them bacause it was the 3rd time you have met and since you lived in England you didn’t have the chance to know them personally. but within the next couple of days the four of you got to know about each other well enough became really close friends.

Cat spoke up saying

“So what are you wearing to the beach? You really should impress Oli.” She said wiggling her eyebrows then sitting down on the bed starting to pack her stuff along with Tyler and Joey.

“Yeah girl you should slay when we get to the beach!” Tyler exclaimed.

“Mhm, show that hot body of yours.” Joey said making an air outline of your body.

You rolled your eyes and said “Psh, shut up guys. He doesn’t like me that way. I’m sure he sees me as a friend only.”

“Well that’s bullshit Y/N, I have been observing you two recently and both of you look so cute together and you two have been acting quite lovey-dovey sometimes.” Tyler said as Cat and Joey nodded their heads agreeing

“Okay guys, if you say so.” You said, rolling your eyes.

You finished packing as well as Cat, Joey and Tyler did. The gang will be going to the beach tomorrow at 6 am so all of you could arrive at 8 am at the beach house. The resort where Zoe and Louis booked was actually a 2 hour drive from L.A and it was a perfect place to stay at since you all needed the privacy and no one else would know that all of you were there.

“Alright guys we need to sleep now because we’re gonna have to wake up at 5 and we are the ones in charge of breakfast.” Tyler said, yawning.

We all went to bed and finally got a bit of rest from the busy weekend.

Your alarm clock rang so you got up along with Cat. We noticed that Tyler and Joey were still asleep so you looked at Cat having an eye convo we agreed to wake them up. At first we tried to shake them but they wouldn’t budge. A moment later Cat jumped up and down the bed and started screaming, my eyes widened and joined her to jumping on the bed.

“ RISE AND MOTHERFUCKERS IT’S A BRAND NEW DAY! ” Cat shouted as you laughed at the Dan reference.

“ Okay, okay we’re up. ” Joey said, yawning. You and Cat stopped but didn’t cease laughing until you spoke up saying “C'mon we have to go to McDonald’s and get breakfast for everybody. ” You said climbing down the bed.

The four of you went down to McDonald’s just wearing jumpers and sweat pants. Tyler ordered the breakfast take-outs that took 20 minutes to get done, you finally went back to the hotel. And apparently Joey sort of tripped on the way back because he was still drowsy. As the four of you arrived on the floor you distributed the food to everyone since they were already good to go. The four of you went to your room and got all your stuff and then proceeded to the parking area where the bus Louise rented parked.

You started to go to the bus. as you caught up with Louise

“ So, how are you doing with Cat, Joey and Tyler?” She asked.

“They are lovely and so much fun to be with. ” You said smiling

“Awesome! So how about you and Oli?”

When Louise asked that, you could feel your cheeks reddening.

“Um, We are cool, still great friends actually. ” You said smoothly.

“Oh come on Y / N, I know you have a thing for Oli. And I know that he has a thing for you.”

Now your cheeks were fully red and said “Nah, he probably does not I mean there are better girls out there.” You said.

“Oh, I believe that you are the best one for him Y / N.”

“Do you really think so?”

She nodded and gave me a hug.

Near the opening of the bus you bumped into someone.

“Ow.” You said

“Oh God, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to!”

You looked up and saw an embarrassed Oli

“It’s alright Oli. ” You said.

You got on the bus and went to an available window seat. As you sat down Tyler said “I’ve always wanted a window seat but It’s okay, it’s for a cause. ” Tyler said as he looked at you and winked.

You sat there confused but as soon as Oli stood there he asked “Is this seat taken? ”

You shook your head and he sat down beside you. Few minutes later the bus sarted and finally drove to your destination.

“You excited for later, yeah?” Oli asked

“I am, I’m just hoping the rooms are enough for all of us there.” You said

“Me too, and I am sure the rooms there are enough for all.” He said.

The ride was quite fun since you and Oli shared a bit of banter for several minutes. Only an hour away from the beachbyou eyes started to get droopy again so you decided to sleep. Little did you know that your head was on Oli’s shoulder already.

You finally arrived at the beach house and got out of the bus. You were supposed to go inside the house but the view was so stunning. Crystal blue sea, white sand, palm and coconut trees, and perfect blue sky. You couldn’t help but stare into the view and took a picture for instagram.

“Beautiful, huh?” Oli said walink up to you.

“Yes it is. I sometimes wish England’s beaches were this beautiful.” You said.

“Just like you..”

“Sorry, what?” Your head shot up to Oli.

“Oh nothing, I mean the view really is beautiful. Shall we go inside?” He said, scratching the nape of his neck.

“We shall.” You got some of your bags and went upstairs to find a room. Whilst you were trying to find one almost every room was already occupied by most people.

“Oh shit.” You huffed.

“What’s the matter?” Oli asked

“All the rooms are occupied now.” Uou responded.

“Erm Y/N, if you want to, um.. We could share rooms. I have a big enough bed that could.. erm.. fit us.” he offered.

“It’s fine Oli I could just go to the couch.” You said.

“No Y/N your back will hurt, and I don’t want that to happen to you.”

You felt warm inside from his concern

“Erm.. Alright then if you don’t bother. Thank you Oli.” You said smiling.

“You’re always welcome.” He said.

Oli helped you carry your stuff to his room. You couldn’t even believe that yoh are gonna share a room with the boy you’ve been crushing on for months now.

Both of you have settled in and preparing to go to the beach. The whole day was really fun half the time most of you were vlogging which was funny yet normal in your perspective. You got a tan and you had a sand castle building contest where the American youtubers were against the British youtubers which was awesome and Tyler had to complain where it was an unfair game most of you laughed it off but in the end no one won because the sandcastles fell apart when the time was over.

You all called it a day when the sun started setting and went back to the house had a shower. All of you were exhausted from the events so you decided to go up to the room and get some rest.

Getting inside the room you saw Oli laying on the bed with his phone but put it down when he saw you.

“Oh, hey Y/N, are you going to sleep now?”

You nodded as Oli scooted to make room for you.

“Y/N would you mind if I could cuddle with you?” He said.

You heart started to beat fast at his offer and you nodded. He wrapped his arms around your waist and you placed your hands on his chest.

“This feels nice.” You said. ’ Oh shit did I really mention that?’ You thought to yourself.

“Yes it does.” he responded.

“Um.. Y/N can I tell you something?”

“What is it?”

“I.. um, I-I kinda..” he stuttered.

“Spit it out Oli..” you whispered.

“I really like you Y/N, I mean love- I mean.. not just as friends but more.. And I understand if you-”

You placed a finger on his lips shushing him. The you carefully attached your lips to his. He returned the kiss and now you lips were moving in sync. His lips were soft and he was gentle at kissing you like you were a very fragile glass. Both of you pulled back and you said, “would it be possible if I love you too?” You both giggled as Oli placed a sweet kiss on your lips once more.

“So Y/N.. would it also be possible if I asked you to be my girlfriend?”

You nodded you head and saying yes.

Oli grinned at you as both of you continued to make out. You pulled away and rested you head on his chest. “I love you Y/N..” he whispered. “I love you too Oli..” you whispered back. And now both of you drifted to sleep.

You and Oli woke up and held hands as you walked down to the living room where everyone was having breakfast and watching TV.

“Good morning Y/N-” Tyler gasped

Everyone looked at the both of you and Joe asked “Are you two a thing now?” You and Oli nodded.

“Well it’s about time!” Everyone said as you all laughed.

(A/N Hello again! This was a very long one I’m sorry it took me days to write this bc idk I wanted an Oli white imagine along with other youtubers because THERE ISNT ENOUGH I TELL YA. I hipe you liked this imagine tho haha bye!)