most unintentionally

4

Peter Cushing + That sexy neck thing he always does after getting choked out

The Signs as ỵ̴̢̡̺̥͎͂̓͗̃̅͊o̝̭͉̖͓ͨ̿ͣ͑̀͒͗͂̌̓̄́̐͐̂̕͡u̧̨̡̥̫̭̗̮͖̯̼̮͎̳͂ͬͣ̉̐͑ͅ?

Aries: You are the zulu spear in a telemarketers neck. Unexpected, and mercifully quick.

Taurus: You are the fistfight in the chuck-e-cheese. Far more fun than you have any right to be, honestly.

Gemini: You are the creepy mannequin at the target. Equal parts pretty and unsettling. 

Cancer: You are the blood spattered harmonica. There is a strange story behind you.

Leo: You are peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut with a hatchet. Fashioned of the same stuff, but in a more interesting way.

Virgo: You are the substitute teachers broken collar bone. Mysterious, a source of gossip perhaps?

Libra: You are the Druid at Disneyland. Having a lot of fun under your terrifying mask.

Scorpio: You are the newest drug sweeping the nation. A source of panic for good christian mothers.

Sagittarius: You are the exposed nipple at the PTA meeting. Unintentionally the most fascinating thing in the room.

Capricorn: You are distant booming laughter. Foreboding, but quite the nice time.

Aquarius: You are a hijacked forklift. A tiny, yet gleeful, force of destruction. 

Pisces: You are the barrel of antlers at the antique shop. Full of the prettiest parts of many dead things.

roxy = most unintentionally, purely hardcore, purely sincere 

terezi = has done by far the most hardcore stuff, much of it unintentionally but as a parody

vriska = chases after the hardcore. lives for the hardcore. cannot cope without it 

meenah = is the cause for hardcore in the entire troll universe

HIGH STRUNG

Guys. GUYS. I was browsin’ through Netflix to find a movie to put on in the background while I unpack from my trip and tidy up my room and I saw some dance/music rom-dram called High Strung, and that formulaic shit is my JAM so I put it on. Guys. GUYS. THIS IS BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THE MOST UNINTENTIONALLY HILARIOUS MOVIE I’VE EVER SEEN I’M HALFWAY THROUGH AND THERE ARE ACTUAL TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE IT HAS EVERY TROPE IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE AND IT’S GLORIOUS. 

BASIC PLOT: shy, talented American blonde ballerina attends a ~~~super exclusive~~~ Arts conservatory in Manhattan (is there even another city in the US?) and is pushed extra hard by her teachers because She’s Just So Talented™. Shy, talented American blonde ballerina is strolling down the subway post-class and hears a broody British modelesque violinist playing for money. Turns out the broody British modelesque violinist is an illegal immigrant with Nothing Left For Him Back Home™ (’what about your family?’ *moody stare* ‘like I said’ *dramatic glance into the Manhattan skyline* ‘nothing’) and the lawyer he’s been paying to get him a green card was swindling him (he kicks a trashcan into a car in front of a swanky office building out of RAGE because that’s what people trying to avoid run-ins with the police do obvi). Blonde Ballerina goes back to the subway the next day and shares a slow-mo stare with Broody Violinist and then OUT OF NOWHERE a gang strolls out of the subway train and starts shit with a crew of painters working on the subway station. Naturally both the gang and the painters are dance crews (!?!?!?!?!?!) who bust out into elaborate aggressive choreo, and Broody Violinist starts playing his violin to their battle music cause why not???? Chaos ensues, Blonde Ballerina gets pushed to the ground, Broody Violinist rushes to help her, his violin gets stolen, and OH NO his grandfather gave it to him so it’s A Big Deal™ and Blonde Ballerina is so distraught so she follows him all determined to help. That’s the set up of the basic plot, now HIGHLIGHTS:

1. The movie literally opens up with the most dramatic, horror-movie-like shot of Broody Violinist playing his violin shirtless in a vast, shadow-drenched bedroom in the early morning light with a voiceover that’s like ‘the music is inside me… and if I don’t play it… it consumes me’. Something to note about Broody Violinist is that he’s barely surviving NY but he lives in a swanky bachelor pad and dresses like a Calvin Klein model.

2. His downstairs neighbor just happens to be the head of the world’s most extra dance crew and he intercepts Broody Violinist one day for NO REASON and forces him to come into his apartment and watch his crew dance like it’s a fucking recital (LITERALLY I SWORE HE WAS HITTING ON HIM BECAUSE IT WAS SO TARGETED AND OUTRAGEOUS BUT NAH HE WAS JUST LIKE ‘HEY STRANGER COME MEET MY FRIENDS AND WATCH US DANCE NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER LOL HAVE SOME CALAMARI WHILE I WALK YOU THROUGH WHO EVERYONE IS AS THEY DO A SOLO’).

3. Blonde Ballerina’s roommate is the token Comedic Party Girl™ and they are honestly so gay it’s outrageous? Like they constantly walk around holding hands and had a pillow fight within 5 seconds of meeting each other and casually chat while one’s naked in a bubble bath and who the fuck is this movie trying to kid????

4. At one point Blonde Ballerina shows up at Broody Violinist’s apartment (HOW DOES SHE KNOW WHERE HE LIVES??? IDK???) with a violin she borrowed from her school and a flier that’s CONVENIENTLY for a ‘Strings and Dance!’ competition where the winner gets 25K and a full scholarship to the conservatory (i.e. student visa!!!!!!!), but Broody Violinist is Too Ferocious and Independent™ for conservatories and they’re beneath him and his Subway musician ways and Blonde Ballerina is Too Establishment™ to understand. So Blonde Ballerina is REAL UPSET and leaves and calls her girlfriend to cry about this random stranger rejecting her offer during the cab-ride home, and Broody Violinist stares dramatically at his table before realizing his Big Mistake™ and running after her, but NOOOO, the cab pulls away just as he reaches the door!!!! GASP, I’m so sad for these literal strangers acting like they just ended a five year relationship!!!!

5. There’s a straight-up montage where Blonde Ballerina is dancing with her frenemies at bar (what’s a dance movie without a bar scene where everyone inexplicably knows impromptu choreography) and it’s spliced with BROODY VIOLINIST RANDOMLY BOXING. LMAO LIKE THERE HAS BEEN NOT A SINGLE INDICATION THAT HE’S INTO BOXING OR ATHLETIC IN ANY WAY BUT HERE HE IS, TAKING SUPERHUMAN, SHIRTLESS SWINGS AT A PUNCHING BAG IN THE DARK TO THE BEAT OF THE BAR MUSIC THAT HE’S NOWHERE NEAR. I died. 

6. Broody Violinist RANDOMLY SHOWS UP as a waiter for an event Blonde Ballerina is attending with an Arrogant Playboy Violinist™ from her conservatory, and I kid you fucking not, they tango. INTENSELY TANGO. BROODY VIOLINIST CAN TANGO. HE CAN BOX, HE CAN TANGO, THE SKY’S THE LIMIT FOR BROODY VIOLINIST, AND THERE’S NO EXPLANATION OUTSIDE OF ‘My grandmother taught me’. So Broody Violinist and Blonde Ballerina tango all ‘frictiony’ (it’s hilar) and Arrogant Playboy Violinist (who’s playing the violin in some kind of performance) starts playing SUPER aggressively because he’s getting jealous that the girl he wouldn’t even call his date is friction Tango-ing with another guy. And then comes the moment where I lost my shit:

7. Arrogant Playboy Violinist™: “You want to settle this outside?”

Broody Violinist: “I’m fine settling it right here.”

Aggressively strides over to the orchestra and grabs a violin and THESE TWO TESTOSTERONE MACHO MORONS HAVE A FUCKING HOMOEROTIC VIOLIN-OFF. SAID VIOLIN-OFF INVOLVES SMACKING EACH OTHER’S BOWS AND AT ONE POINT EVOLVES INTO A LEGIT VIOLIN BOW FENCING MATCH AND IT’S THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE BECAUSE THEY’RE LIKE SNARLING AND TWO SECONDS FROM MAKING OUT AND IT’S MEANT TO BE SO SERIOUS AND ~~ALPHA MALE~~ OMGGGG. And then naturally the rest of the wait staff is Broody Violinist’s extra ass neighbor and his dance crew so they take over the DJ-ing and start dancing in unison with their serving trays and oh my Gooooood it’s just the most perfectly absurd scene in cinematic history.

That’s as far as I’ve gotten. I don’t even know how this movie’s going to top itself but so far it’s been the most well-invested hour of my life and I can’t recommend it enough.

anonymous asked:

Emmy, Noel nor Jeremy ever even get so much as a look-in when it comes to awards and noms and fans are rallying for Cameron (and Elliot) to get 'recognition they deserve'. Hahaha! What is life?!

But Cam and Elliot do deserve  recognition! What are you talking about???

  • Most Disgusting Face Devouring Scene Outside of Alien Movies - Winner: Ian and Trevor, Shameless 7x05
  • Least Believable Relationship Anywhere Ever - Winner: Ian and Trevor, Shameless 7 (honourable mention to Ian and anyone other than Mickey Milkovich, played by the incomparable Noel Fisher)
  • Most Contrived, Annoyingly PC but Still Strangely Problematic and Self-Absorbed Condescending Lecturer in a Dubious Comedy / Drama - Winner: Trevor, Shameless 7
  • Least Sympathy Ever Evoked in a Scene Mentioning Self-Harm in The History of Film and Television - Winner: Trevor, Shameless 7x09
  • Lamest Ever Attempt at Falling Asleep Bodies Intertwined Like They’re Falling in Love - Winner: Ian and Trevor, Shameless 7x08
  • Most Unintentionally Hilarious PSA Shoe-horned into a Dubious Comedy / Drama - Winner: Ian and Trevor’s brunch scene, Shameless 7x04
  • Greatest Amount of Second-Hand Embarrassment Ever Felt at One Time Among Audience - Winner: Ian and Trevor, DMX rap scene, Shameless 7x07
  • Most Poorly Named Character in the History of the Universe - Winner: Trevor, Shameless 7
  • Largest Simultaneous Collective Dry Heave From Audience - Winner: Ian and Trevor in bed scene, Ian doing something under the sheets with his fingers somewhere in, on or around (?) Trevor’s nether regions and / or dildo. Nobody fucking knows, Shameless 7x08.

Give them a round of applause!

MBTI Types Most Likely To...
  • ESFJ: Most likely to give unsolicited relationship advice
  • ISFJ: Most likely to have a photographic memory
  • ESTJ: Most likely to try and take on something they're completely incompetent at
  • ISTJ: Most likely to hold a grudge
  • ENFJ: Most likely to have an intense socio-political discussion at a rave party
  • INFJ: Most likely to have a moral crisis once a month
  • ENFP: Most likely to deny the causes and effects of mental illnesses while having one
  • INFP: Most likely to lose their keys at least once a day
  • ENTJ: Most likely to talk over others
  • INTJ: Most likely to leave their sunglasses on indoors, intentionally or unintentionally
  • ENTP: Most likely to be obsessed with The Joker
  • INTP: Most likely to spend all night on Wikipedia
  • ESFP: Most likely to ignore everything you're saying because they heard a strange noise from a mile away
  • ISFP: Most likely to play an obscure or difficult instrument
  • ESTP: Most likely to simultaneously care way too little and way too much about themselves and others
  • ISTP: Most likely to have too many dogs

Reinhardt & Pharah

> The child would definitely ask “Aunty Amari” if they could fly with her. It scares the bejeezus out of Reinhardt the first time he saw his child whizzing in the sky with her

> Reinhardt will find Pharah and his child asleep together on the couch, having nodded off after a story or such

> The child thinks Aunty Amari and their dad have the coolest job. It gives Reinhardt and Pharah lots of mixed feelings probably (see Ana)

> God forbid if the child is ever bullied or hurt by someone their dad is over two feet and their aunty works for an international peacekeeping corp 

> Can you IMAGINE IF THE CHILD BROUGHT IN A ROMANTIC PARTNER

> the most unintentionally intimidating family ever probably


> Admin GK