TalesFromRetail: "Can I sue you?"
I work at a store attached to a pharmacy. The pharmacy hours are different than our store hours. This makes a lot of people very confused, and very angry.
One of the angriest and most confused of them all, was Old Man, who stomped up to my register at the ass-crack of dawn.
OM: Why isn’t your pharmacy open yet?! I’ve been waiting outside forever!
Me: Oh, I’m really sorry for the confusion. But while our store opens at [time] our pharmacy actually opens at [later time]. Fortunately, the pharmacy is opening in three minutes, so you won’t have to wait long!
OM:But [other site] says that you open at [earlier time!]
Me: Unfortunately, we are not affiliated with [other site], so we have no control over what they say our hours are. I recommend using [official site] in the future.
OM: Can I sue you?
Me: …Wait, what?
I saw a nearby coworker bury her head in a shelf to try and hide her laughter.
OM: I can sue for this, right?
Now, the strangest thing was, he didn’t even sound angry. His words were spoken with the childlike enthusiasm of a kid asking if they could keep the stray puppy they just found, or if he could get an extra scoop of ice cream today because it was his birthday.
OM: I mean, if I’m right, and the hours are wrong, that’s false advertising, and I could take this to court, right?
I look around for hidden cameras.
Me: Uh, sorry sir, but our hours are posted both on [official website] and outside, and have been the same since we opened. And even if they were wrong, it’s unlikely the court would take your case, and the process would be very long and very expensive.
OM: Well, I’m going to look it up.
Old Man wandered off, and because I’m petty, I went to look up [official website], to see if he if he was bullsh*tting me our not.
Soon after, OM came back from the pharmacy, and pointed at me as he walked out the door.
OM: Fix it.
Me: Actually, sir…
I pulled out my phone.
Me:I have [other site] pulled up right here. It shows our store hours here, and our pharmacy hours right below.
A long silence passed between us.
OM: I… I was wrong?
Me: ‘Fraid so.
The Old Man stared at me for a moment, then just shook his head, and wandered off in a daze. As if it was the first time he’d ever experienced being wrong in his life.
At least he sort of admitted it.