most judgemental

8

mal/carlos moments in descendants 1&2 ( requested by @ultramalostrash )

The struggle of recognizing that my mom has done some serious work to accept and understand me and I should give her positive feedback for that, vs. she’s still basically a jerk.

I know you’re supposed to shape behavior by steps, that if someone stops saying “you’re an abomination and you’re destroying my life” you should give them a cookie.  But when they’ve only gotten as far as “I guess you’re a man now… but siiiigh, you can’t blame me for wishing things were different,” gosh, that cookie jar’s awfully hard to pry open.

  • <p> <b>Friend:</b> Why don't you play some music? Y'know from your phone? It'd be nice to have some music while we do work.<p/><b>Me:</b> Uh. Um. Well. You see. *nervously sweats*<p/><b>Friend:</b> *grabs phone*<p/><b>Phone:</b> *whole bunch of anime OPs and EDs, Character songs, Kagepro music, Honeyworks, Utaites, Neruke, Rock bands from different countries, Kenshi Yonezu, Vocaloids, Undertale Music, Ace Attorney Music, some other trash*<p/><b>Friend:</b> ...<p/><b>Me:</b> ....<p/><b>Friend:</b> Your playlist literally says "Weeabo Trash"<p/><b>Me:</b> It's fittingly titled what's your point?<p/><b>Friend:</b> I'll just... turn on the radio.<p/></p>
Surprising things about the houses

Ravenclaws: You think they read all the time and ace every class … but really they haven’t read a book in a while because they can’t find an interesting new one, and always procrastinate their work with Netflix and conspiracy theories. They’re not boring snobs, they’re perhaps the most interesting and least judgemental people you can find.

Hufflepuffs: You think they just sit around eating cookies, smoking weed and napping … but really they’re very proactive and get shit done. They work now, play later. Go ahead, ask them how much homework they’ve done this week. But don’t be too rude, because they may be patient but they could break you.

Slytherins: You think they’re quite arrogant and think everything is about them … but really they just want people to appreciate them. They take pride in what they do and will often do their best because otherwise what’s the point? They don’t want the world for themselves but they’ll give it to their loved ones.

Gryffindors: You think they’re just rude and loud and all about being the coolest or the toughest … but really they’re the kindest and sweetest and most generous. They will stand up for those in need and fight their corner, but being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble.

[TRANS] BTS Japan Official Fanclub Magazine - Jin’s Biography

Liked gaming since kindergarten
The vigorous boyhood

1~2 years after being born in Anyang City, Gyeonggi Province, I moved to the neighboring Gwacheon City. My memories started from Gwacheon. I was awkward about taking photos until just before debuting, so I hardly have any childhood photo. It’s hard to find photos from back then. When you take photos, you have to stand still. I hated hearing “Wait, let’s take just one photo!” and having to stand still.

My favorite thing in kindergarten days was the popular dinosaur character game back then. We only had one game but my hyung hogged it all, so I really wanted to play it at that time. I don’t know if it’s the reason why I like games now too.

I was a vigorous child in elementary school. After school, I would go play with my friends and come back at dinner time, then do my homework and sleep. It was my routine. I had a lot of friends too. We would only play every day and not study at all (laughs). My favorite subject was Physical Education. It’s the exact opposite to now (laughs). I liked running, swimming, tennis and also golfing that my father taught me how to play. He likes snowboarding and skiing so he often takes me to the ski resort, and I started from that. Although my father frequently went on business trips, when he came home, he would play his favorite sports with me. He often took me abroad too. Japan, Europe, Australia,.. But I’m not very into travelling so it felt like I was half-forced (laughs).

I talk with my 2-year-older hyung every day. We play games together and talk about this and that, it seems like our relationship got even better than before.

Grew up to be a hesitant guy in front of the opposite sex due to going to all-boy middle & high school!?

I was too into gaming since 1st year of middle school so I didn’t go out to play (laughs). Me and my friends kept staying in the PC room to play games in summer break. 

My best friends are friends from middle school. The relationship between us four people is quite good, even after we went to study higher, we would go to the valley and play together in summer break and go snowboarding in winter break. Even now we still contact each other every day and contend for each other’s old men’s jokes (laughs)

In terms of music, I liked Lee Seunggi sunbaenim’s ‘Delete’, KCM sunbaenim’s ‘Black & White Photos’ and Turtles sunbaenim’s ‘Airplane’. I also listen to Buzz sunbaenim’s music often so I like rock ballad even until now.

Since I went to all-boy school for both middle and high school, I had absolutely no contact with girls for 6 years. Even after going to university, I still couldn’t look into girls’ eyes. I would drop my eyes low and “Hey, how’s it going?” (laughs). I met an easy-going friend in university so he mended that manner too. He hit me and said “I told you to look in the eyes and talk!”… But still, I fit in better with guys (laughs).

The path to become a singer through scouting
Currently taking music composing with seriousness!

In 1st year of high school, my dream was to become a newspapers reporter to stand by the second-class citizens’ side. I used to read newspapers articles every day. The dream of becoming an actor was born in my 2nd year, after watching Kim Namgil-ssi in the drama ‘Queen Seondeok’. I was touched and thought that, I wanted to make people cry with my acting too. So I entered the Film Major in university .

3 months after entering, I was scouted and became a trainee. The rapper line was in the company already, and Jungkook joined 2 days after me. I came into the practice room and saw a kid with eyes like Bambi standing, I asked ‘…Who is this?’ and he stood up and said ‘Oh! My name is Jeon Jungkook!’. Even when I told him ‘Sit down,’ he said ‘Oh no! I’m okay!’ (laughs). The one with deepest first impression would be Namjoon who was practicing dancing. It was my first time seeing someone practicing dancing since I was born, so I thought ‘Wow, he’s a trainee. Cool.’

As I trained, I went to eat with other trainees as well and enjoyed my trainee life. I liked dancing back then. But after debuting, I heard people saying ‘He can’t dance’ so I lost my confidence… Despite that, thanks to ARMYs who always tell me ‘It’s cute’, ‘You did a great job’, I regained my confidence and now, it seems like I can dance.

My life right now is great, and I’m satisfied with being in BTS. My interest in music started after I met the members. Back in debut days, I couldn’t even think I can write songs. Thanks to the influence from our members, I’m now continuing to write songs. Even though they aren’t at the level of being put into albums yet, I got good responses and am working hard right now.

If someday the chance comes, I want to try acting. V is doing that now so I’m happy with it. Compared to acting,  I want to improve my skills in singing and performing more. It’s physically draining but I feel the joy in it.

© mondomizel1 | scan © sweaterpawsjimin

I am a pagan nanny, for a Christian family.

So, I am a nanny for a very Christian family, that family of which fired me when they found out about my spiritual path. However they since apologized, and I have received my job back. These kids that I nanny go to a Christian private school. This means dress codes. At this school colored hair is not allowed, you cannot have piercings or tattoos, your pants must always be at least to your knees. No tank tops, no sweat pants, only business casual clothing. And on Thursday’s they must dress super nice for Chapel. The oldest of the two that I care for has informed me that her class mates have created a nickname for me, “Punk” and on top of that, they have all said I look like the devil. I have 5 small tattoos, nose piercing, and bright green hair, and I do not conform to their standards of “modesty”. Every time I get out of my car to take the kids to an extracurricular activity such as sports or clubs, I receive the most judgemental stares from the grown ups, the faculty and the parents. This is the reason I am not longer Christian, but on top of that, my favorite thing to do when picking up the kids, is blast my pagan music in the pick up line!

Okay so I’ve seen a lot of reincarnation hc’s for Les Amis, especially Grantaire. So let’s focus on himm for now. 

We have Grantaire the Cynic, who finally thinks he’s dont being reincarnated after being athelstan, and Louis XIV, and then Grantaire. He thinks he’s done because for once he died holdig hands with the person he loves. 

And then - And then he wakes up again and he is so frustrated, he’s i a place with weird technology, and everything is so different from what he was used to, everything is so advanced. And he is horrified; will it ever stop?! 

But then he notices how much more accepting people are. There’s still tons upon tons of problems, but: You can be more open, with way less judgement. In most countries you’re even allowed to marry someone of the same gender. People who aren’t the gender they were assigned to at birth have safer options to live the life that feels right for them.

They’re still scared of being open about who they are, but the world is so much more accepting now. And Grantaire find himself less cynical than he used to be.

He finds himselfgetting an art degree instead of giving up on everything. He stays away from alcohol, he finds himself not needing it to cope anymore. 

He finds himself joining a group of students who wish to make the world even better, and he finds himself wanting to help them achieve their goal. And there’s this person there who reminds him so much of the charming young man who Grantaire once loved, and he finds himself falling for this person. 

And this person has fallen for him too.

And they get together and they’re both so happy.

Little does Grantaire know that this man he has fallen for, fell for the former cynic because R reminded him so much of a happier version of the cynic this man once knew.

Abandoned (Harry Hook Drabble)

A/N: Hey, so this was inspired by prompts given to me by @butterflywingednight and @thilda. It’s basically just Harry’s thoughts and feelings on Uma’s departure for Auradon the night of the Cotillion. I didn’t really mean for it (lbr, I totally did), but it kinda gave way into a poly relationship between Harry/Uma/Gil. If that’s not your cuppa tea, then it could be read as a close friendship/camraderie between the three. I might do a part 2 with an interaction between Harry and Uma, but for now, this is between Harry and Gil (my two sweet boys who I will protect forever). Also, sorry if both boys seem OOC, I was just trying to show the potential vulnerability that Harry possesses and that Gil isn’t as dumb as people think. Enjoy xx

~~~~~~

Harry Hook couldn’t tell time, but he knew that much of it had passed since Uma had fled to go through the barrier before it closed. The Cotillion had began at six pm, as the reporters announced to the kingdom over the television. The dusk sky bled into night as the clock ticked on methodically. The young Scottish pirate grew anxious, as he didn’t know what was going on over in Auradon. The last thing he and the rest of the crew saw was King Ben’s gift for Mal, his one true love, before the connection was cut. The Captain hadn’t show face since, and no one knew of her whereabouts. The last Harry had seen her, she was explaining her plan to him, Gil, and the others.

He didn’t enjoy the thought of his Captain over in enemy territory without him, but he trusted her enough to let her leave alone. She was strong and cunning, he knew that. But his nerves weren’t settled, still, as Ursula’s Fish and Chips slowly became vacant as the night wore on. The distant sound of music and fireworks were all that could be heard. All of the other pirates left, trusting Uma’s right-hand man to keep things under control. And that was what terrified Harry. What was he to do now? He has no clue how to run the crew as smoothly as Uma did. Sure, he was intimidating, could keep the pirates on a leash enough to not allow the both the literal and metaphorical ship to sink. But Uma was wise beyond her years, she knew everything about the sailors that she could use to benefit herself, to easily manipulate anyone on the Isle into doing her bidding. She was made to be a leader, a Captain. Although Harry was the son of one of the best pirate Captains (he would say the best, if he knew Uma wouldn’t make him walk the plank), but he didn’t have half the skill that the young sea witch possessed.

Harry was known by anyone who crossed his path to be rash, and a bit unhinged. That was why he and Uma worked so well together; she was there to keep him in check when he became too reckless. Who was going to do that now that she was gone? ‘Not gone,’ Harry thought to himself, ‘she wouldn’t leave us here forever.’ The young lad kept repeating this to himself in his head, if only to appease his worry. But no matter how many times he tried to reassure himself that Uma didn’t abandon him them - no, she was going to come back. She had to come back - Harry couldn’t stop the frown from forming on his handsome face. He began to pace, muttering to himself, his pirate hat abandoned on the bar.

This was how Gil found him not thirty minutes later. He was worried, not only for his Captain, but for the First Mate. The brawny teen wasn’t considered bright by any means, but he knew those two more than anyone. He knew that Harry would be distressed over the mere thought of having to run the crew. Despite his charming facade, the middle Hook child wasn’t always confident. If he couldn’t properly be a leader, he would let his father down, and that was one of his biggest fears. Gil tried to quietly enter the restaurant, but to no avail; he accidently knocked into one of the tables, causing Harry to startle. Gil became even more worried for his companion, because this wasn’t like Harry at all. He was always on guard, even around his own. No one on the Isle could be considered trustworthy.

The two young men stared at each other with deer-in-headlights looks for a few moments before Gil slowly made his way over to the other. “Um, no one’s seen Captain around shore, but Desiree and Jonas are keeping look out. Just thought you should know.” Gil spoke quietly, but the words still pierced the air as if he had shouted them. If it were possible, Harry’s face seemed to fall even more. He nodded, straightening up as if to seem more in control of his emotions. But Gil knew that wasn’t the case. Neither boy said anything as they sat together at the nearest table, their knees bumping into each other underneath. Harry found comfort in knowing the other was there.

Gil was someone he could rely on, someone he didn’t feel as obligated to put on a mask in front of. Gaston’s third son was the most open-minded, non judgemental person Harry had ever met, and that was rare for a VK. Gil was one of the only people that the young Hook felt no need to impress, because he didn’t feel threatened by him. That was hardly the way he felt with Uma. And yet, he cared for them both so deeply. Uma made him feel like he should live every moment to the fullest, like he was a wild animal freed from a cage. Gil, on the other hand, brought him a sense of peace. Harry took comfort in the jokes and sheer happiness from the other boy. They were like his dark and light, night and day; he needed them both to balance himself out. At that moment, Harry needed calm, to not worry. Even just being in the presence of the blonde eased him a little. The warmth of his legs in between his, the sound of his soft breathing filling the still night.

Harry let himself speak, not caring about the emotions leaking into his voice. “I dunno what I’m gonna do. I never… I never imagined doin’ anythin’ without her, ya know? She’s always been by muh side.” Though he spoke softly, Gil heard the worry in his words loud and clear. He looked the Scot dead in the eyes as he replied. “She has a good reason for doing this, you know that. She will not abandon us.” Whether he meant “us” as in the whole crew, or as in Harry and Gil, it didn’t matter. Harry didn’t doubt their truthfulness for a second. He brushed his fingers against the other boy’s hand that rest on the table top, the two sitting in silence, waiting for their Captain to return.

Love Yourself

WARNING - self doubt , assholes degrading the reader . 

Request - Thank you so much @melconnor2007 for the request . I hope you like it . 

Hi I was wondering if you could do a one shot requests on Bucky, something along the lines the reader and Bucky have been dating for ages, but she’s struggling with being happy about the way she looks, when she over hears some other agents or people talking about how good looking Bucky is and how muscles he is, then they start saying how the reader isn’t pretty enough to be dating Bucky, and she gets upset locking herself in her room, and Bucky breaks in and is reassuring telling her how pretty she is and how much he loves her and it’s really fluffy if that makes any sense please 

A/N- This wasn’t easy to write . For the first time , I started with a blank page thrice . Tbh , there was a time I felt like this but I no more do . I don’t give shit about people think about the way I look . I like myself and that is all that matters . I don’t like people who choose to like or not like me over superficial things like appearances . So I am open to anyone who wants to speak with me . I want you to make yourself feel better . And one day I hope you realise that you are  beautiful . I LOVE YOU 

Originally posted by lilpieceofmyworld

Keep reading

Kpop is probably the fandom that I see the most judgement in. I see most of this judgement between international fans. I’m not saying all of them are like this, however, I’ve noticed that international fans are the first to call someone out for being a “Koreaboo”.Obviously, there are some people who are koreaboos, but some of the people they call out aren’t like that and they get so much hate. If they’re just enjoy the culture, that’s fine and mind your own business.

2P!Japan Boyfriend Headcanons

((*sweats* high-key been avoiding him in case i mess up [[,: givin’ it my best shot, friends )) ((I had a lot of asks for these and took a pic, but my stupid laptop is the worst [,:))


⦁ What’s that? You’re dating t h e Kuro Honda??
⦁ *high-pitched 90’s anime screech*
⦁ THIS FINE PIECE OF JAPANASS IS AAAALL YOURS
⦁ He doesn’t have time for messin’ around,,, bUT HE CAN MAKE SOME BOOYAH
⦁ “you have until april fifteenth to come and get these hot pockets until they’re gone forever” “the fuck did you juts sa y to m E”
⦁ kuro is the most standoffish, blunt, judgemental, sassy fucker
⦁ but he sure does love hot pockets
⦁ no one knows why, and it has ruined many nights of friendship with him and the Italy brothers
⦁ he is actually very insecure about his dating ability, so if you’re able to loop him in for the long run – you must be something special
⦁ kuro is more open than kiku about personal space, but only with people he handles; you’re luckily one of them and he is quite affectionate despite his discouraging demeanour
⦁ to anybody else, it would seem as though the relationship is not meant to last; to him, he’s already planned your wedding
- if he tells you he loves you then you know you’re in it for the long run
⦁ kuro has a lot of trust issues due to failed past relationships (romantic, business, platonic, etc), so that’s what makes him seem very distant and cold
- he is neither of those things with you
⦁ he LOVES PDA way too much
- he wants E V E R Y O N E to know you’re his
- he can’t afford another one that got away
⦁ because of this, he might come off as a bit overprotective or even possessive at times, but he means well
⦁ he wants the best for you for sure and is always there to support you, even if he isn’t very vocal about it
⦁ thIS FUCKER IS SMUG AF
⦁ HE’S ALWAYS SMIRKING BECAUSE HE'SCHECKING YOU OUT
⦁ HE THINKS YOU’RE THE MOST PERFEC T PERSON EVER ANd wonders why you’re with him??? he thinks he sucks??????
⦁ it’s true he is a very sexual and intimate person, and if you’re not about that then it might take him some time to adjust
- don’t worry; he would never do anything you’re not comfortable with!
⦁ if the PDA thing is A Problem, let him know!!! he doesn’t like forcing people to do things and will attempt to tone it down as much as he can
⦁ japanass is a sucker for cuddling and smooches, but he is the most tsundere about it
- do it anyway; he’s always ready!
⦁ he loves netflix and chilling (like, actual chilling, but wont pass up a diddle ;))) ) with you
- it’s like a friday night tradition
⦁ you’re bound to get stuck on one of his crazy escapades
- I feel as though he has a h o t motorcycle as well
- Luciano feels Left Out and eventually gets one
⦁ he KNOWS you think he looks good and is NOT ashamed to call you out on it
- i mean, come on
- he’s fuckin s m e x y
- DEM BODY TATTOOS AND MUSCLES THO
⦁ he loves art, especially nude ((**SPOILER ALERT** he actually hates the sexualization of nude models!!)) so if you’re willing he will DEFINITELy draw you
⦁ i know throughout the fandom everyone thinks he’s into hentai, but i’ve always headcannoned him to have been into it in his cringey teenage years and it’s followed him to adulthood
- he Hates The World because of this lmao
⦁ he is a memer
⦁ im so sorry
⦁ i feel like he’s a sugar daddy, but he doesn’t flaunt it
- he probably goes to those dimly lit rich people clubs with Luciano and Flavio
- will totally take you to cool and secret places no one knows about with him
⦁ like i mentioned earlier, he doesn’t have time for messin’ around
- i mean like “no shit”, y'know?
- if there’s something going on he doesn’t want to beat around the bush. just say it
⦁ he will also not hesitate to tell you if you’re being stupid about something
- that sounds harsh, but he doesn’t have much of a tolerance for idiocy
⦁ he is the biggest fucking weeb lemme tell you
⦁ he complains about weebs all the damn time but little does anybody know–
- like, he’s literally the guy that has a katana collection
- he totally says it’s for decoration and he had it imported by his family from japan
- it’s from naruto
⦁ probably had a crush on yu-gi-oh!
⦁ he loves classic games like the first Mario Bro’s and Zeldas
- is definitely into horror
- like, any genre
⦁ he will make you watch horror movies with him just so you cling to him
⦁ is a game developer on the dl
- if you’re into video games, he’d secretly send you demos to beta test
⦁ probably has a deviantart from middle school
- he regularly updates it with his fanart from his trash fandoms
⦁ “hates” mainstream animes
- fucking sobbed during Free!Eternal Summer
- ships viktuuri hardcore
⦁ loves spooning
- hates being little spoon and no one knows why
⦁ i feel like he likes to listen to people attempt to speak japanese and would find it adorable if you did
- he likes cute things
- you are a cute things
⦁ idk man i wasn’t so sure about him, but
⦁ i feel like he’d be just??? so great??? and he’s so underrated??
⦁ kuro honda everybody

It really sucks that queer youths and young adults have so little education on their own sexuality, simply because sex education is incredibly taboo, meaning that they’re more susceptible to being taken advantage of or taking advantage of others in their first relationships, because they never learned how to be in a relationship.

It really sucks that queer youths practically jump into long-distance relationships or unhealthy relationships because they have so little opportunity to even meet new queer people, much less hope for a relationship.

And it really, REALLY sucks that there’s still a huge struggle for ace, aro, bi, and pan people to even be recognized in the community because some people don’t see them as fit to belong, yet they’re ostracized by mainstream media and marginalized by their families, same as a lot of us, and they have to sit and be told by random people that they’re not normal or not queer enough.

We’re all seeking acceptance. We’re all a family. Don’t turn away from family out of judgement, because most of us damn well know what it feels like, and you have no business making people go through it again.

the-cultured-peasant  asked:

I love Tony and Loki together, like, imagine them flirting very obviously in a fight. Like, Tony sees him and is all, "Hey, Reindeer Games, how about that drink?" And at first Loki is surprised but then he starts flirting back. Everyone is busy fighting so only Clint and Natasha notice. When Clint points it out after the fight, Cap's all,"?!" And forbids him to ever talk to Loki again, no one on one fights or anything, but Nat covers for him? And Tony makes him one of his AI equipped robo-cats?

My first take on FrostIron! It’s not quite what you asked for, it’s more of a looking back on their relationship, I think? But I hope you like it!

More or less canon-compliant until TWS.


Mortals seriously underestimate the pains that come with dating Anthony Stark, Loki has been forced to realise early on.

For one thing–though admittedly through no fault of his own–Anthony is a Midgardian. Loki has to admit, if only in the privacy of his own mind, that he has failed to anticipate the–complications that brings. It has lead to many a misunderstanding in the beginning. 

For example, Loki had not realised that multiple invitations for a shared meal or drink, even when offered during combat situations, could express a romantic interest. A formal announcement of one’s intentions has apparently fallen out of style in Midgard. Instead it is expected to follow a carefully choreographed dance in which even insults to one’s face can contain a hidden subtext (commonly referred to as flirting).

In retrospect, he should have caught up on Midgardian culture before accepting Anthony’s offered drink.

It was only when, during one of their traditional fights, Captain America had interrupted them with an incredulous, “Iron Man, what are you doing?” and Anthony had replied with a snappish, “Getting distracted by Loki’s pretty, green eyes, what does it look like, Cap?” that Loki had reevaluated their previous encounters and come to the obvious conclusion. He had it confirmed later that night, when he had decided to throw decorum into the wind (the perks of being a villain) and had kissed Anthony breathless.

Still, even to this day the Midgardian ways serve to confuse and aggravate Loki from time to time. Like when Anthony insisted to try his patience by finding other women and men to accompany him to various galas and functions.

“What is your problem?” he had yelled at one point. “So we slept together once, and now you go all territorial on me? What the fuck Loki?”

Which had led to their second argument. “Oh, so we sleep together twice and suddenly I owe you something?”

Which had let to a couple more arguments before Loki had finally decided to put his fury into broken down, easily understood, Midgardian terms, and made it clear that they were–dating. (He still shudders when confronted with this juvenile, utterly insufficient term.)

Unfortunately not even clarifying their relationship status has solved all his troubles. Indeed to this day he as to accept other mortal’s on his Anthony’s arm–because apparently showing up with a super villain at a charity dinner is socially frowned upon. Mortals.

Another difficulty Loki has been encountering resisting the urge to wipe his Anthony’s friends off this plane of existence. It is proving to be more challenging than he had initially expected.

There is Captain Rogers with the most irritating judgemental glare, who can’t stop arguing about being compromised. Loki has seen it fit to return the favour and ensure the Winter Soldier the Captain is so obsessively hunting has slipped his grasp time and again.

Barton despises him, and makes a show of confirming the sentiment as often as possible. While Loki appreciates the mortal’s hatred–one has to get his entertainment somewhere, these days–Anthony is less amused. 

The green rage monster Loki does a good job of avoiding at all costs. Not that he is wary of the creature, not at all. It simply seems prudent to not start a senseless fight. Anthony gets awfully upset when his tower gets damaged.

Romanoff, the perfect, little spy, has the sense to watch from afar. Sometimes Loki amuses himself by foiling her observation with a well-placed illusion but for the most part he ignores her.

In any case, the worst of the lot is, without a doubt, Thor. His not-brother. The less said about the overexcitable nuisance, the better.

Compared with these irritating flies Loki considers James Rhodes and Virginia Potts almost bearable. Almost. They are still mortal. He’s already overlooking this unfortunate weakness in his Anthony, he refuses to make allowances for anyone else.

But while they greet him with caution, distrust and open threats, Loki has found himself reluctantly respecting them. They are focused on the danger he poses to his Anthony first, their own issues with his past transgressions coming second.

Potts in particular refuses to treat him with anything but cool professionalism. Her analytical mind and iron self-control is clearly wasted on the self-important morons she seems to surround herself with. (As a villain, Loki understands her plight. Finding capable minions is not as easy as most assume.)

At least regularly enduring the presence of unworthy mortals has given Loki a new appreciation for what his Anthony once laughingly described as ‘the long game’. After all, his Anthony is still a mortal, and as–odd–as the thought makes him feel, when he dies, so does his protection. In the end, having to wait gives one so much more time to plan.

Beyond the company he keeps, his Anthony himself also has a habit of irritating Loki. His refusal to carry his given name with pride and instead insist on allowing those worthless mortals to call him Tony is one of those things Loki absolutely refuses to let go.

He endures, but nobody–not even his Anthony–appreciates the effort it takes him.

By far the worst about dating Tony Stark though, is that he is a hero. A hero. Really, Loki doesn’t know what he was thinking. It can not have been much. For why else would he find himself once again having to watch the back of a bumbling fool with more luck than sense when it came to his personal safety?

Perhaps he has been brainwashed by the little SHIELD underlings after all, because Loki has a hard time imagining he would be in this position had he any of that cunning intelligence left, he has always been accused of.

Loki glares heatedly at his sleeping Anthony.

He could have been a weak, useless mortal. He could have been a backstabbing traitor. He could have been using this dating business to try and redeem Loki, but no. No, it was much worse than that. His Anthony just had to be a hero.

And of course, his Anthony just had to throw himself in front of Loki–the much less vulnerable demigod with more tricks up his sleeve than years his Anthony had drawn breath–and shield him with his body. His suit-less body.

Loki wants nothing more than to murder his mortal, but has had to settle their brainless assailant instead. What cruel fate he has been given!

His Anthony is healed now of course, far quicker than the mundane medical skills of this world would have allowed. But Loki is no master of the craft–nor, for that matter, can he be around to strangle his Anthony for his foolish choices at all times of the day.

His Anthony sighs quietly in his sleep but does not wake, presses himself a little closer into Loki’s side. Loki’s glare softens, before immediately returning with new fervour.

Heroes. Loki huffs. And I just had to end up with the worst of the lot.

Somewhere out there, Thor is laughing at him. He just knows it.


Yes, Tony was caught completely off-guard when Loki suddenly kissed him. Yes, he didn’t realise Loki considered their arrangement than anything more than the-occasional-enemy-fuck until Loki almost killed his date (and even then he wasn’t convinced that this was anything but your usual villain attack)

Poor Loki. Nobody gives much thought to the hardships he endures.

anonymous asked:

I have a problem with remembering how to cope when things start feeling tough. it feels like my mind goes blank and i end up just laying in bed. any tips?

Hey honeybun 💕 I still experience this constantly. It’s actually normal to be tired and forgetful. People who suffer from mental illness usually have interrupted sleep cycles, our bodies are often in the fight-or-flight mode, we experience a lot of stress, and sometimes we take medication that causes fatigue. Our bodies are constantly working against our illnesses, but our brains sometimes work in favor of them. Being in a constant inner battle IS EXHAUSTING, and as human beings we all need to rest. You are not wrong for feeling this way. Please use your most non-biased judgement and make sure you are rested enough !!

Getting out of bed:

• Go easy on yourself and be kind.
• Start with something small like stretching, getting in the shower, brushing your teeth, or walking to another room in the house.
• Use positive thinking. Remind yourself that this feeling will pass, and tell yourself “I can do this. Just one step at a time, and I can get back into bed if I want to.” Reflect on your progress and personal strengths.
• Distract yourself with something you love. Play with a pet, read, listen to a positive music playlist, flip through a photo album, write in a journal, pick up your phone and call a good friend, etc.
• Bribe yourself. Treat yourself to a snack in the kitchen, change into your comfiest outfit, or take it even further by stepping out to a coffee shop for a hot drink.
• Stop trying so hard. Our effort can backfire on us and we can end up feeling worse than before. Breathe, and remember that not every day has to be productive. You are allowed to rest and take the time you need to heal.

Reminder tips:

• Keep a page in a notebook, or a digital note on your computer with your personal favourite self help ideas for when you’re feeling this way. Get creative if you want.
• Sticky notes !!! Stick ‘em everywhere. Positive words and reminders are great to have around your bedroom.
• I personally keep a binder filled with good articles, self help ideas, lists, colouring pages, therapy resources, and a ton of information on my illnesses. It’s helped me tremendously through my recovery journey and it’s one of my favourite go-to’s when I’m feeling really lost and unsure.

I hope these are somewhat helpful, darling. You’re never alone. 🌷💝

anonymous asked:

Hiya! Have any of the mods experiences a similar situation? Recently, my mother has been denying my trans-ness(?) by saying my autism clouds what gender truly is and my trauma makes me want to "reject being a girl" since i'm ftm. I don't know what to say to convince her otherwise, so if any of the mods could share their experiences/help me make a script for talking with her that would be so helpful <3 (Can this please be tagged as TrashRat?)

My mother does not know about my trans status, but she does know about me being queer.

-Cogs


I’ve actually been thinking about this for myself, whether feeling uncomfortable identifying as / being called a woman may be related to autism and / or trauma for me, but I have only told two people so far and both people have been amazingly laid-back and supportive. So unlike anon I don’t have anyone denying my experience / gender, and the potential link between my autism and trauma and my gender identity is rather something I’ve been considering for myself, as a part of self-reflection.

(I’m not sure in how far I’m qualified / allowed to speak on this though? I am technically non-binary so I do feel the “what is my gender linked to” thing (also, it doesn’t really matter? the result is the same, trauma or autism or no), but I don’t ID as trans?)

-Kath


This is a thing that I’ve found hard to figure out as well. I have pretty strong alexithymia and so it’s a toss up on whether or not me going into shutdown when I’m referred to as a woman is because I can’t cope with the shift to woman from girl, or that it’s fatphobic comments that have been made in the past or it’s dysphoria?? (Spoiler: I’m pretty sure it’s all of these)

As I mentioned in my intro post though, I definitely think that being autistic affects the way I perceive my gender. I haven’t told anyone about questioning my gender but I do identify as trans and it is a very real fear for me to end up in a similar situation with doctors if I decide I do want HRT at some point.

I think though that even if anon’s gender is affected by being autistic and trauma, that doesn’t make their being ftm any less valid. It’s still who they are at this point.

-Wren


Long Post. For which I apologize. This is, however, my expertise. It is also something that I have experienced, after a fashion - or as Mod Rage said at our conference, “How I autism affects how I gender. How I gender affects how I autism.”

Okay, so, Mod Rage and I just got back from Gender Infinity, which is a gender conference largely for professionals, including medical doctors, therapists, psychologists, etc. Basically, anyone who has anything to do with gender.

I was there as a speaker speaking on this exact subject. This is what I study. This is what I am published in, this is what I write on, this what I speak on, this is my life. The experts in gender were there to learn from me and my team, which spanned activism, psychology, sociology, and biochemistry. I feel absolutely confident claiming that I am an expert in this intersection.

Autism very often does cloud our perception of gender. It does not cloud our judgement of gender. Quite the opposite, because of the effort that we put into to existing in the world around us, we often have a better judgement of our judgement than most people.

There is at least a tenfold increase in clinical gender dysphoria among autistics, but my professional opinion is that this is absolutely a low estimate because of flaws in the studies - namely, most of the studies rely on binary identification of male and female gender and/or they rely on identification by parents, guardians, or caretakers.

Some gender clinics are reporting up to a 30% increase in autistic diagnoses in their client bases than are expected in the general population. One of the panels I attended was hosted by a psychologist speaking, in part, about these specific concerns. They went so far as to suggest that we should consider whether or not autism should be screened for as a matter of course in gender clinics.

This idea that autistics cannot judge gender comes from the idea that we inherently lack “theory of mind” - but whose theory of mind? I am sitting here, typing this up right now. I am aware of the complexities and nuance of gender and autism - so much so that others consider me an expert (particularly where the sociological aspects are concerned).

Like, I personally have a clinical diagnosis for both gender dysphoria and for autism spectrum disorder, the latter of which came from one the directors of a major autism clinic. Clearly, I have some level of what is going on.

Gender is, in part, an internalized sense of self. Having any sense of gender at all completely undermines the very theory that is used to discredit us.

Autism absolutely affects how feel our gender, but it does not prevent us from judging our gender. At the end of the day, you are the only expert on your autism, and you are the only expert on your gender.

At the end of our panel, we were asked a very probing questions by one of the psychologists. Should we be viewing treatment of Gender Dysphoria as a treatment for autism. And the answer is yes, it is a secondary path to treatment. This is the information that the psychologists and psychiatrists and therapists are taking back to their gender clinics.

I want to be absolutely clear, we are advocating for these ideas. We are offering personal and community insight to these ideas. And we are studying these ideas.

There was a (allistic) psychologist at the conference who does already have the Ph.D. behind her name and she was presenting the very same ideas we were from a clinical perspective - it actually worked out that she shared case studies, introduced these topics, asked questions to get other professionals to reconsider their perspectives, and then by either excellent coincidence or brilliant planning, our panel followed and answered many of those questions and challenged those professionals to examine how exactly this kind of gatekeeping arises because of misperceptions of autism.

From a clinical perspective there is something else that is exceptionally important to consider. The DSM does not shy away from stating when and why comorbid diagnoses cannot occur (like how Selective Mutism is not a comorbid diagnosis). Gender Dysphoria is not excluded from autism, and autism is not excluded by dysphoria. More to the point, under autism it specifically says to diagnose other comorbidities if the criteria fit.

What is entailed with gender dysphoria as a diagnosis? Well, you only need two of the criteria to make the diagnosis, and these are the two easiest criteria to make:

  • A strong desire to be some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender.
  • A strong desire to be treated as some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender.

That is it. Just, I want be a different gender, I want to be treated like a different gender. This, by the way, is the criteria for gender dysphoria that was met in the case study of a significantly non-verbal autistic presented by a psychologist in the workshop before ours. This autistic spoke two sentences and only when people called him “her” or “she” or another feminine pronoun.

“I am he. Call me he.”

Within nine months of treatment for gender dysphoria, he was holding conversations both inside and outside clinical settings. When we say that treating gender dysphoria is paramount to autistic health and mental health, we mean in big ways. This. Stuff. Matters.

So the big question is, well, how do you address this with your mother? I’m not sure. The only thing I can tell you is the science, and why people treat us this way. My experience tells me that someone that is going to use that to dismiss your experiences is going to continue to do so for the most part, and that the best way to handle it is it is safe to do so is just to be persistent.

If she is someone that responds to scientific articles, there are a few that can help but they can be pretty heavy (send me an ask to @candidlyautistic​ if you would like those).

In the meantime, here is a report from Specturm, which is the news outlet for an autism research group. You might find some useful articles here. Articles are listed from newest to oldest. The first two are specifica articles about autism and gender identity, while the last is a general portfolio of autism and sex/gender stuff that will have a lot of stuff that isn’t helpful.

https://spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/living-between-genders/

https://spectrumnews.org/news/new-clinical-guidelines-address-gender-dysphoria-autism/

https://spectrumnews.org/features/special-reports/sexgender-in-autism/

I hope that you find an approach that works well for talking to your mother.

- Sam