most accurate thing to describe got

i had an episode tonight, and i feel so drained. it came out of nowhere. suddenly i’m babbling all this stuff about whatever and start crying. everything was fine. depersonalization makes me feel like any progress i may have made is immediately diminished. i finally found a way to accurately describe it, and that is this: that i’m watching a film and skipped a chapter. i’m now living in the chapter that followed, unaware of what previously happened and how i got here. things are fine, but then i’ve suddenly fallen asleep, unwillingly having slipped into a dream that i can’t get out of. an unexpected and unwanted lucid dream. it ruins experiences and any ounce of normalcy i may have begun to have felt. most of all, it ruins social situations. she takes control and makes me avoid them like the plague. any social situation that may present itself makes me feel like i’m preparing to run a marathon. i feel like i’m living someone else’s life and the real me is in there deep, too exhausted to try and escape. when it happens, my head is a balloon, and it’s floating above everything and knowing none of it is real. and whoever decides to present herself as me, isn’t.

I’ve very often praised Shadow’s almost uncharacteristic level of sheer joy in Sonic and All-Stars Racing Transformed, smiling more than he has in basically everything he has since 2003, boasting proudly that he’s the ultimate life form for passing other drivers, going as far as to jump up on his car and pump his fist in the air when he wins. He’s just straight-up ridiculously happy, to the point where it seems uncharacteristic.

And then I decided to replay Sonic Adventure 2. He jumps up and gestures wildly when describing plans or introducing himself, he’s got a smug smirk pretty much over half the time, he shouts out stuff like “I’m the coolest!”, and even in the middle of a revenge plot, he’s a constant show-off.

The Transformed depiction isn’t inaccurate. It’s the most accurate thing to his original depiction in ages. He’s a total dork who thinks he’s cool but everyone does think he’s cool and he knows it. I love that.

My menstrual cup experience...

So not many of you may know about alternative sanitary products for periods, but the menstrual cup is one that I have found that tends to have a bit of stigma surrounding it.

First off, IT DOES NOT GET STUCK!!!!! And if it does, that is due to user error. Secondly, it is so much safer than pads and/or tampons. Tampons contain harsh chemicals (like Bleach and a fabric called Rayon which creates a perfect breeding ground for bacteria, that’s why there is a risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome that comes with wearing tampons for too long). 

Personally, my experience with my menstrual cup (the Lilycup size A, pictured below) did not start off well. 

I attempted to shove it in using the punch down fold (also pictured below) on a dry run (a day when I was not on my period). 

That was my first mistake. I found out later that lubricant makes everything a lot easier so I went to the store later that afternoon and bought the store brand water-based (any other kind will damage the silicone  as well as other things inside you so please don’t use vaseline)

So after about 10 hours, it was time to take it out. And I thought, “No problem, I just need to pull it out”

Turns out, that is not the case…

I spent the next half hour in my bathroom crying and attempting to get the damn thing out. What the company fails to emphasize about the removal process is that the seal needs to be broken by inserting a finger and basically pushing down like you did in the punch down fold. 

Buzzfeed published an accurate article on what it is like when you have it stuck inside you…

I basically panicked as described in the article. It was the most pain I had ever been in and I was all alone, with my mother (not responding to my pleas of agony) in the room next to me. She finally decided to come in and ask me if I was alright AFTER I had already gotten it out and was lying on the bathroom floor in a puddle of tears.

After I finally got it out, I didn’t try it again even when my period came because I was so afraid of that thing. I eventually bucked up my courage the next month and decided that I would give it one more go.

I did a lot of research about the insertion and removal process and then I attempted it myself. It went in fine and then 10 hours later, I was able to remove it painlessly.

So now, I use it every day on my period and I use pads at night (I’m still a little too afraid to try to sleep in it). And I haven’t had a painful experience with it since that first night.

Anyways, the menstrual cup is a great solution to periods. Once you get used to it, you’ll wonder why you didn’t try it sooner.

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to send this ask on anonymous but I don't want my username related to this kind of question.. And I hope I don't bother you with this ask. I suffer from PTSD and depression and my therapist advised EMDR for the PTSD part, but I don't have a really good 'feeling' about EMDR, at all. He was also talking about 'creative therapy' and 'writing therapy'. So I wanted to ask you: what is your point of view on EMDR and what kind of therapy/treatment did you receive(d) for PTSD?

Hey, asking on anon is totally ok. That’s why I’ve got it switched on. 
And you’re not bothering me. I’m happy to answer.

Creative therapy and writing therapy are both things I have done in hospital and with my psychologist, I was fairly skeptical to be honest because I’m a very cynical person, as well as someone who considers themselves an artist and a writer (clearly i have plenty of experience writing and painting about my trauma right?)
But I found that in a therapeutic setting both were very useful in helping me straighten out my thoughts, and find stuff that I didn’t actually realize was an issue. 

Some writing therapy I have done includes a letter to my abuser; which ended up being 50 times longer than I intended, as once I started writing I realised I actually had quite a lot to say. 

And creative therapy can be anything from drawing, painting, sculpture or music. It’s usually guided and with a theme specific to your current treatment; ie: if you’re working on processing memory you might be given a task to draw (or paint etc) how you feel memory affects you. Sometimes these things can be simply cathartic and other times they give you insights to your own thought processes.

It’s something I have found incredibly useful and definitely recommend to try with a therapist that you trust, or a trained art therapist, so they can recognize if what you’re doing is more harmful than therapeutic.

Now; talking about EMDR

I have no experience with EMDR, I haven’t received much actual ptsd specific therapy yet, my psychiatrist is still trying to fit me in with a trauma specialist outside of hospital.
I’ve just done a bit of research on it, read about it’s effects, the process and what psychiatrists and PTSD specialists are saying about it and it seems like a good therapy.

If it makes you feel better about it it’s definitely something I would try myself.

I’ve also seen that Dr Bessel Van der Kolk has been involved in some studies on it so that gives me a lot of confidence in it. There are also numerous clinical studies that show it is a successful therapy in treating PTSD so it’s based on research. 

Basically its a Real Medical Science therapy, yay!

  • It’s got proof backing it up that it works. 
  • It is recognised by the American Psychiatric Association, the World Health Organisation and the American Defence Force as an effective treatment for trauma.
  • According to American Psychological Association ethical guidelines, all prescribed therapies should be done according to the standardized procedures that have been examined by research.
  • If clinicians claim to be using EMDR, they must be using the procedures described in Dr. Shapiro’s 1995/2001 textbook 

Now, reading a basic summary of EMDR makes it sound like exposure therapy, which I’m personally 100% never doing, and I can understand why you’re having some bad feels about it. 
But after reading a bit more into it, the ‘exposure’ aspect is not being exposed to potentially retraumatising events or images or anything like that.

Basically the ‘exposure’ part is focusing briefly (for 30 seconds or so) on specific traumatic memories and how they make you feel both emotionally and physically, but only after you’ve identified which memory to focus on and made a plan with your therapist. 

It seems to place a lot of control in the patient’s hands, which I think is a decidedly good thing when talking about trauma. 

What I think is really good about this type of therapy is:

  • it’s very structured. It’s got 8 distinct phases and very detailed descriptions on exactly how these are to be carried out.

  •  it’s only to be carried out by practitioners trained to use it and they are expected to keep up with any updates to that training.

  • But most importantly it does not rely on your ability to speak about or adequately describe your trauma, or your therapists ability to accurately interpret your words.

  • It puts control in the patients hands

  •  and does not ask you to do ‘homework’ or trauma processing work at home, away from a controlled environment.

How EMDR works

Copy pasting from the EMDR Institute’s website:

In successful EMDR therapy, the meaning of painful events is transformed on an emotional level.  
For instance, a rape victim shifts from feeling horror and self-disgust to holding the firm belief that, “I survived it and I am strong.”  
Unlike talk therapy, the insights clients gain in EMDR result not so much from clinician interpretation, but from the client’s own accelerated intellectual and emotional processes.  
 As a natural outcome of the EMDR therapeutic process, the clients’ thoughts, feelings and behavior are all robust indicators of emotional health and resolution—all without speaking in detail or doing homework used in other therapies

Things to check before starting EMDR with a therapist

  • Have they received both levels of training?
  • Was the training approved by EMDRIA?
  • Have they kept informed of the latest protocols and developments?
  • How many cases have they treated with your particular problem/disorder?
  • What is their success rate.
  • and be cautious of other therapies that claim to “be like” EMDR or “use parts” of EMDR; EMDR is an 8-Phase approach that contains procedures that have been thoroughly examined by research. Other things that are “like EMDR” but aren’t have not been subject to this research and the person doing it may not actually be trained.

and lastly

The possible side effects of EMDR:

  • Like with other trauma processing treatments, distressing and unresolved memories may emerge
  • some clients may experience reactions during a treatment session that neither they nor the administering clinician may have anticipated, including a high level of emotion or physical sensations
  • subsequent to the treatment session, the processing of incidents/material may continue, and other dreams, memories feelings, etc., may emerge.

Wow. What an enormous post.

But i hope that I’ve thoroughly answered your question and any concerns you have about your therapeutic options, if not hit me up again :)

Stay safe


Creepypasta #649: Help, I’ve Been Trapped In This Apartment For Months

Story length: Super long

I have no idea how to convey the things I’m feeling. I need some kind of closure, but I don’t know how to interpret what is happening to me. I used to think I kind of understood the universe. Not everything you know, but my place in the universe I had pretty well fleshed out. My experiences had all become pretty pattern-like, and it seemed like any new thought or emotion was just a variation of something I had known before… I don’t know what to believe anymore.

I first entered my friend Rebecca’s apartment 3 months ago. I mean, I had been there before many times, but this time started 3 months ago.

Rebecca lives near our hometown, and I had made promises to see her when I came back. So, towards the end of winter break, a small group of our friends decided to have a psychedelic journey together. We wanted to end the break with a bang knowing full well that we wouldn’t see one another for at least another year. 

We planned to go to Rebecca’s place because she doesn’t have any roommates and it has this inviting quality that pairs well with a shroom trip. The colors are bright and warm, the walls splayed with abstract artwork, the music cozy and pure escapes from a quaint record player in the corner, and the air seems to breed tranquility. It’s a safe place and we were all quite excited for the experience. 

There were five of us who planned to trip, and two sober babysitters (Rebecca’s boyfriend and my friend from college) to guide the journey. We had all been friends since middle school at this point except for the babysitters. We were all very comfortable in each other’s presence, and at the start of the trip the vibes were tantamount to nirvana.

We sat around her coffee table and divided up the shrooms by eye because I forgot to bring my scale. Our friend Carl was supposed to come as well, but he had something come up so we were left with an extra dose. We divvied up the drugs as well as we could, and I took Carl’s dose for myself. 

I should note that none of us were new to this. We had all tripped before and were pretty certain what to expect. I ended up taking about 6 grams of shrooms with both Carl’s and my portions. The others took about 2, but again I was not just shoving things into my mouth. I had taken as much before, and felt okay taking it again. So, we all choked down the fungi with extreme prejudice and ample orange juice.

We decide to watch the movie Frank at the start of our trip because there’s this guy with a giant fake head in the picture for it on Netflix. That was really the reason. We saw the fake head, laughed a bit, started it just to see what it could be, and ended watching the whole thing (It’s fantastic and arresting). 

Towards the end of the movie the tone shifted to a slightly dark place, and left us all a little uneasy. Nothing too weird, but a slight tone shift is enough to throw a psychedelically impaired brain off balance. The trip goes by and nothing to out of the ordinary happens. We go to a park. We play a game. We look at things. Pretty innocuous stuff until we start smoking blunts.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

"We all know Phil is assertive af in private. It’s nice to see that side of him for a change. Or maybe that’s just me." This so much! I love videos where Dan lets his childish little shit personality come through. I think that's why I enjoyed 'Dil's dream home' so much, he was such a little brat in it. And I have lost count of all the times Dan has talked in his live shows about Phil being completely done with Dan's fussing. Bless

hahaha right? it’s adorable. I love when the dynamic switches. I think they’ve gotten a bit too comfortable with their main channel personalities showing Dan’s “wtf are you saying I’m so unamused (but oops I clearly AM because half a second later I can’t help but laugh and look at you like you’re god’s gift to earth) but I must pretend like I think you’re completely unfunny right now”  look. It’s been their thing for a long time now and although it’s quite adorable to see how terrible Dan is at pretending he’s not completely and 100% fond af of everything Phil does, it can get slightly old at times. I think we all know that their true off-camera dynamic is quite different. 

Keep reading

Well I just got done with episode 3 and wow…that was a lot of information to process…but let’s see if I can narrow it down.

1) Winter cares for Weiss…maybe more than their father does.

2) Qrow knows of Cinder…but I don’t think he knows her. That or Cinder is confident he can’t stop her.

3) That thing from Dance Dance Infiltration… Is a virus. Most likely used to control computers. Which is…nerve wracking considering it just got into Ironwood’s system…and it could get to Penny.

4) Mercury’s dad is a drunkard.

5) Ruby is a puppy. Literally…she is a puppy

See? Puppy. Also…this accurately describes me right now.

anonymous asked:

from every post made describing you I've got this mental image of something barely passing for a human, like a rubber hose cartoon and a muppet got put in a blender and came out as Sarah Jolley

those who have met me- please confirm that this is the most accurate thing because I’m adding this to my resume

anonymous asked:

Hi, um, I'm just a little curious as to what makes "trash" any worse than "little shit" or any other affectionately negative nicknames of the sort, which no one seems to have a problem with? Sorry if I'm being insensitive or something? I'm just very genuinely confused...

alright yea ur curiosity is definitely justified. I guess the biggest thing for me is that the joke is old. it’s annoying. and oikawa (among others) isn’t a particularly trashy character. saying that he is trash or the trash king ruins all of his amazing character traits and degrades him down to the one thing, maybe if ppl switched it up some more I wouldn’t be so pissy about it.

thing is, saying ‘wow he’s certainly being a little shit to iwaizumi right now’ is completely different, its just stating wow he sure is teasing him a lot gosh oikawa be nice iwaizumis gonna throw something at you !!!!

another example?? calling tsukki trash ruins all the other things he’s got going for him. but describing his character as “an asshole” is pretty much just an accurate observation

calling characters trash just starts up this whole “”“hilarious”“ movement where people apparently don’t know how to think or say anything else about that character at all

not to mention once again, the bottom line, most haikyuu 'trash’ characters aren’t even trashy at all ??