morons i tell you


I love these trope examples of nonhuman characters not understanding human needs/customs but still being super supportive of their human companion by @sepulchritude, and so I couldn’t resist drawing them. The best part was coming up with the aliens! :D (Yes centaurs are cool, I don’t see why that’s important.) Hope I did your headcanons proud, @sepulchritude​! 

Pro revenge from a revenge pro.

(long story. TL;DR at the end)

If you think about it cynically, one of the functions of the police is to provide a sort of society-wide revenge service. Unfortunately for this sub, it’s usually kind of boring. When cops do take exceptional revenge, it’s usually unfortunate and icky, like a dirty beating in the no-camera areas of the copshop, or giving someone the silent-patrolman treatment during transport. Fortunately, most cop revenge isn’t dramatic - it’s procedural. You misbehave, we do the paperwork, and eventually some consequences happen, or not.

Sometimes, however, you get a chance to take a bit of vengeance that is (i hope) the very definition of professional.

For a time, I was a small-town Canadian cop, working in $hicksville, $province. Several years before I came to work in the town, there was an event which entered town legend (and made national news - the funny little throwaway story they go to just before the end of the broadcast). Some kids committed an act of spectacular and iconic vandalism, and cost the town quite a bit of money. They were all caught, tried and sentenced to probation terms with restitution. I would love to provide details, but anything more would be immediately identifying.

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What did you say?


Summary:  Baz has recently learnt Dutch and has decided to practice it, much to Simon’s sorrow.

Word count: 1k

Rating: T

Tags: canon divergence, enemies to lovers, exchange student, fluff, ust

Note: I don’t speak Dutch, so I asked my friend Google for help. Please don’t cringe at the weird expressions. Also, I regret nothing

Also on AO3


He’s done it again. Baz has found a new way to torment me.

Ik vind je heel mooi,” he says as I step into our room, which I guess means something like “I wish you were dead”.

“Yeah, you too,” I tell him. “Moron.”

I go to my bed and take my shirt off. It’s so hot in here, lately.

Lekker ding,” Baz continues with his insults.

“That would be you,” I reply, as I change into my pyjamas.

He lets out a short, mischievous laugh. “You don’t know what I said.”

“I don’t need to speak German to know that you’re insulting me.”

“Please, Snow, it’s Dutch.”

“Whatever,” I say, going into bed.

Slaap lekker schatje,” Baz says, and it must mean “may you never wake up again” or something similar.

“Same for you,” I retort. I have to learn Dutch.

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Your Ginger Housemate - Part 1

Hey, guys! Here it is. I’m so sorry for this. I can’t believe Part 1 disappeared. I don’t even remember getting rid of it! Anyway, here it is… again. It’s a little different, so feel free to read again of you did before. Hope you enjoy it. And for those of you wondering, yes Part 6 is coming. Another week or two and it’ll be posted. Sorry and thanks. xx

Summary: I’ve decided to set this series after Jerome Valeska was thrown back into Arkham Asylum after he created the chaos on Gotham (Season 2). Naturally, his face has been stitched back on by professionals and has stayed on. I’ve written this as if he has escaped Arkham and is on the loose. I don’t know how long this series will be going for. So I’m going to write it until I can think of nothing more.

Want to read the rest? Part 2 HERE | Part 3 HERE | Part 4 HERE | Part 5 HERE | Part 6 HERE | Part 7 (½) HERE |  Part 7 (2/2) HERE

Originally posted by rickdixonandthefandomlifeposts

There he goes again. Rummaging through the fridge like he owns the place. Most of the time, he annoyed the shit out of you. He was arrogant, dangerous, unstable, irritable, careless and not to mention infuriating… But what the heck, you found him boyishly charming. His perfectly styled, flaming hair. His dark eyes forever filled with sparks of curiosity. His wide grin which illuminated his features with mocking and mischief. Although somehow, his insecurities and imperfections are what lured you in the most. The stubborn strand of hair that always fell over his forehead. The unpredictability of his moods. His overstretched smile thanks to the “missing face mishap.” Even the faint, pink scars that circled his eyes and his face. Yep. Jerome Valeska. He was your housemate. Not that you had had much say in the matter.

- Flashback - 

The wind howled behind the window panes and torrential sheets of rain battered down upon Gotham City. Thunder and lightning filled the sky. You’d been tossing and turning for hours. The clattering of debris hurtling down the street and the constant howling of dogs made it impossible to even relax. ‘CRASH!’ You jumped up with a start. That wasn’t from in the street. That was downstairs. Someone was in the house. 

Quickly, quietly, you jumped off the bed and eased the baseball bat you hid behind your door, off the wall. Gripping it like a lifeline, you crept down the hallway towards the stairs. You couldn’t see much, the power had obviously cut out, filling the house with pressing darkness. Easing down the stairs, you re-adjusted your grip on the bat, cold sweat causing it to slip. The cold, wooden stairs caused you to shiver and your breathing began to hitch.‘Stay calm y/n, stay calm.’ As you entered the kitchen, you could feel the cold wind rushing through the smashed window above the bench. Rain swept through the opening, soaking the tabletop and floor. You shivered violently, praying to God debris smashed the window, and not something or someone more dangerous.

As you crept further into the kitchen, past your chairs and small dining table, lightning filled the room, revealing a dark silhouette standing only three meters away. A scream tore through your throat as you turned on your heel and went run back up the stairs. ‘Why would you leave your phone back in your room. Idiot!’ Suddenly an iron grip caught your arm and wrenched you back towards the figure, causing you to drop the bat. You were spun around, and a hand covered your mouth while you felt a cold blade rest against your throat. You whimpered as you felt the figures breath blow past your ear. A low chuckle reverberated through the figure’s throat. Not a figure. A man. He leant closer to your ear,

“Hello, gorgeous. Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” 

You whimpered, thinking, ‘Oh God. The odds really aren’t in my favour.’

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kerfundlesnatchle  asked:

Every champion knows mipha likes link and keeps hinting it to his oblivious ass but he doesn't fucking catch on and everyone is both amused and frustrated and the whole while mipha is like "guys please I'm gonna have a heart attack if y'all don't stahp"

Im on it! ~skeleton


-is part of the frustrated team


-like what a moron i cannot believe

-”Hey elf boy tell me when you finally get your head outta ass and see the real world”


-#team amused

-”you know little guy mipha really likes you” “of course we’re good friends” Laughs for 50 years (mipha just puts her face in her hands “why”)


-#team amused

-”for such a mighty warrior you are rather short sighted link”

-”Mipha perphaps you should not pursue such a dense voe” she says while link and mipha are both standing there (mipha mentally screeching in the background )


-#team frustrated

-is this idiot really the hero of courage?

-gives mipha looks of sympathy often

Guys Night Out ~ Stilinski Twins AU

Author: completedylantrash

Characters: reader x Stiles x Stuart (mostly, with mentions of Scott and Derek)

Rating: Mature 18+

Word Count: 3712

Synopsis: It’s Stiles and Stuart’s 21st Birthday and they decide to go out, just the guys

A/N: I’m Sorry I had to do this. I heard this song and my mind just took off like a shot! This will be a multi, I already have part 2 finished. Not sure how many more after that. There’s no smut in this one (some good teasing though) but there definitely is in part 2.

Music reference: Ayo Technology 

“I have to be at work in thirty minutes,” I complain. “Was this meeting absolutely necessary, Derek?”

Derek glared at me, annoyed that I was always the one to say what everyone was thinking, but they were all too chicken shit to say it. Except Stiles, I could always count on Stiles for a good smartass remark.

“Yeah, Derek, couldn’t this have been done over a group text or something? It’s Friday for Christ’s sake, and we have plans, remember?” Stiles’ arm jerks to the side, as if speaking for Stuart and Scott to his left.

Stuart shoves Stiles’ arm from in front of his face, not bothering to look up from his phone. “Not my plans, I’m being forced against my will,” Stuart mutters.

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17. Imagine Peter being shocked that you love him back

Originally posted by quicksilver-gifs

You were walking down by one of mansion’s aisles when you heard this characteristic swoosh. Second later your friend Peter materialized in front of you. Like always he got that cute smirk on his face.

“Hi Y/N. Where were you? I was looking for you! I need to tell you something” his voice was shaking

“So it’s good that you finally found me. What’s up?”

“I… It’s that… You know that you’re my friend… I think that you are amazing… And smart… And I can alwasy count on you…”

“Oh Speedy, is everything alright? You seem nervous” you looked at him with concern

“Yeah. I just… I love you. And if you don’t love me back it’s ok. I just…”

“Stop! I love you too, moron!” 

“You do? Really? I need to tell everyone! Guys! She loves me back! She loves me back!” he did some weird dance and in few seconds he was gone.

While smiling you were just about to walk again when suddenly Peter appeared again. 

“I’m so happy that I almost forgot” he grabbed your waist and pulled you closer “If I love you and you love me, will you be my girl?”

“Of course Peter” you hanged your arms around his neck and kissed him slowly

Originally posted by walking-on-grass

*not my gifs*

anonymous asked:

Hey!! Could you maybe write a bit for the Sprace ghost hunters AU where Jack (and maybe Crutch or Davey) pranks them and scares them maybe?? I just thought it be kind of a funny idea!

I have missed this AU!

If there was one thing Jack Kelly never did by halves it was pranks. But Davey had threatened to break up with him if he pulled anymore pranks on him so he was forced to pick other targets for the coming April Fool’s Day. Spot and Race just seemed perfect.

He was recording the whole thing – if this went to plan it would be comedy gold for YouTube – and he’d organised the it down to an exact science. It had all started with recon, getting Race to reveal where and when they next planned to film a video during a casual Skype chat, then came perfecting a flawless ghost costume, all scarlet blood and white pancake makeup. By the time he was done Davey had walked in on it three times and had almost as many heart attacks, and it was time to get it out of the apartment before his boyfriend actually did go through with that break up threat.

The abandoned barn was as creepy and dark as all hell so, in short, it was perfect for what Jack in mind. Race had said something about a freak farm machinery accident that had resulted in the brutal death of a worker who was rumoured to haunt the premises. Jack could have believed it, walking around the deserted space. Donning the costume he’d made, he wriggled into the space created by a pallet leaning against the wall to wait.

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“ So, how’s it feel to be old? ”
“ How does it feel to be a smart ass? ”
“ Why are you here? ”
“ Honestly, I never expected you to amount to much. ”
“ I don’t know what you’re talking about. ”
“ That’s not you? Like I said, no one is looking for you. ”
“ Look, I don’t know what you think you’re doing here. ”
“ I’m thinking…maybe you and I could partner up. ”
“ That’s right. Either that…or I turn you in. ”
“ Did you learn nothing from my chemistry class? ”
“ No. You flunked me, remember? ”
“ The shit you cook is shit. ”
“ I’m just saying that’s something I need to know about. ”
“ After we finish cleaning up this mess, we will go our separate ways. ”
“ Are you smoking weed? Oh my God! Wait a minute, is that my weed? ”
“ What the hell, man? Make yourself at home, why don’t you? ”
“ So what did you end up buying? ”
“ God. I don’t suppose you could kiss my ass? ”
“ I mean, I don’t know. I kind of like it. ”
“ I just…haven’t quite been myself lately. ”
“ So right now, what I need is for you to climb down out of my ass. ”
“ Will you please, just once, get off my ass, you know? ”
“ You said you were just doing some ride-along! ”
“ I didn’t ask for any of this! How am I supposed to live here now, huh? ”
“ My whole house smells like toe cheese and dry cleaning. ”
“ You know, you keep telling me that I don’t have it in me. ”
“ But you gotta convince me and you’re going nowhere until you do. ”
“ Whatever, man. I just want to go home. ”
“ I don’t know. Just…doesn’t it seem like…something’s missing? ”
“ You can’t be serious. What the hell are you doing here? ”
“ Who sent you? You wearing a wire? You setting me up? ”
“ I wanted to tell you how much everybody digs that meth we cooked. ”
“ Can I call them and tell them you’ll start next week? ”
“ I just think that we need to…discuss it a little more, that’s all. ”
“ Yo, why would you want this lame-ass job anyway? ”
“ No matter what happens, no more bloodshed. No violence. ”
“ Oh man! Fifty G’s? How you figure that? ”
“ Like they don’t already know that? Are you saying they’re stupid? ”
“ Like I ain’t got the goddamn sense to speak for myself! Is that it? ”
“ No, I am just trying to understand how this works! ”
“ Did I not already tell you how moronic that was? ”
“ No, please, no! God, please, no! Oh God, I don’t wanna die! ”
“ We tried to poison you because you are an insane. ”
“ Well, which supermarket? Is it like a big one? Like a chain? ”
“ You? No. Only shooting that you do is into a Kleenex. ”
“ So what’re you saying? Like, I shot someone with, like, a gun? ”
“ I don’t know, sweetheart. But please, turn your life around. ”
“ What part of “no contact” didn’t you understand? “
” You know why you don’t know? Because you don’t think! “
” Your half? There is no your half of the money! “
” You’re gonna beat your homies to death when they “dis” you? “
” I mean, the point here is to make money, right? ”
“ I beg your pardon? This is a partnership, remember? ”
“ What happened? Because this isn’t you. ”
“ What? That can’t be how you see it. ”
“ You are always the picture of innocence. ”
“ You have a good rest of your life, kid. ”
“ If I have to guess, I’d say that’s Spanish for asshole. ”
“ Then lift your shirt. Show me you’re not wearing a wire. ”
“ I just–I just need you to prove it, you know? ”
“ Go over there and punch that dude right in the face. ”
“ Uh, if you ask a cop if he’s a cop, he’s, like, obligated to tell you. ”

The Island (part 3)

I’m so annoyed at the writers for dragging Omelia through a season of 50 second scenes every 3 episodes. Last night was the straw that broke the camels back. SO- I’m going to escape to one of my AU worlds and hopefully you’ll join me…

1 - 2

She’s glaring at me with her piercing eyes- the hue of indigo but with the electricty of a bright blue- and making sure she wins the unspoken war of eye contact. I won’t let her. This is the second session I’ve been forced to sit in with Amelia Shepherd and we’d both readily agree that it’s as unbearable as the first one was. The brief meeting involved a couple of questions surrounded by deafening silence so quiet you could hear an eyelid drop.

I can tell she finds me attractive and as much as I don’t like her or the reason she’s in my life, I must admit that the feeling is mutual. When I saw her on the plane she had a slight hippy feel to her; she looked overly relaxed and like she didn’t care what anyone thought of her, and why would she when she is so naturally beautiful? She’s now sat in a floral print fitted dress to the knee, bright red high heels, and has her hair swept up in a relaxed bun. Her makeup is understated but defines every sharp and soft contour to her face.

I sound like I’m a gay fashion designer critically assessing a model’s potential for commercial success, I know, but when you’re sat opposite someone in silence with nothing but them as your focus, it’s hard not to notice every minute detail.

“It was a simple yes or no question Owen,” she says, finally breaking the eye contact to look at her notes. Yes, I won that round!

“I seem to have forgotten what it was, sorry… Could you repeat?” I remember exactly what the question was but I’m being petty today, clearly.

“Do you enjoy your job?” she asks of me.

“Do I enjoy it?”

She breathes in deeply as she uncrosses and recrosses her legs on the low armchair sat opposite me, steadying her rising temper at my reluctance to open up. My eyes sweep up the silky smooth cream skin and I shift uncomfortably. “Yes, do you enjoy your job?” she repeats.

Keep reading

breaking bad; starter sentences.

  • ❛ Did you know that there’s an acceptable level of rat turds that can go into candy bars? ❜
  • ❛ Three entire bags of Funyuns? ❜
  • ❛ Congratulations, you’ve just left your family a second-hand Subaru. ❜
  • ❛ We have discussed everything we need to discuss…I thought I made myself clear. ❜
  • ❛ Keys, scumbag. It’s the universal symbol for keys. ❜
  • ❛ Chick’s got an ass like an onion…makes me want to cry. ❜
  • ❛ I am not in danger, _____. I am the danger. ❜
  • ❛ Since when do vegans eat fried chicken? ❜
  • ❛ Shut the fuck up. Let me die in peace. ❜
  • ❛ Sitting around, smoking marijuana, eating Cheetos and masturbating do not constitute ‘plans.’ ❜
  • ❛ Yo, I thought I was gonna see some, like, vaginas. ❜
  • ❛ You are not the guy. You’re not capable of being the guy. I had a guy, but now I don’t. You are not the guy. ❜
  • ❛ Everyone sounds like Meryl Streep with a gun to their head. ❜
  • ❛ Fuck you, and your eyebrows! ❜
  • ❛ That’s what the kids call ‘epic fail.’ ❜
  • ❛ Yeah, bitch! Magnets! ❜
  • ❛ The moral of the story is: I chose a half measure, when I should have gone all the way. I’ll never make that mistake again. ❜
  • ❛ They’re minerals, _____! Jesus! ❜
  • ❛ What’s the point of being an outlaw when you got responsibilities? ❜
  • ❛ Stay out of my territory. ❜
  • ❛ If you’d known your place, we’d all be fine right now! ❜
  • ❛ We’re done when I say we’re done. ❜
  • ❛ Yo, Gatorade me, bitch. ❜
  • ❛ Yeah, science! ❜
  • ❛ I’m a blowfish! ❜
  • ❛ This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed…bitch! ❜
  • ❛ Got some big cow house way out that way, like two miles, but I don’t see nobody. ❜
  • ❛ Bitch! ❜
  • ❛ I did it for me. I liked it. I was good at it. And… I was really… I was alive. ❜
  • ❛ After we finish cleaning up this mess, we will go our separate ways. Our paths will never cross and we will tell this to no one. Understood? ❜
  • ❛ I haven’t been myself lately, but I love you. Nothing about that has changed, nothing ever will. ❜
  • ❛ How am I supposed to live here now, huh? My whole house smells like toe cheese and dry cleaning. ❜
  • ❛ Yo. ❜
  • ❛ Wanna cook? ❜
  • ❛ Chemotherapy and marijuana go together like apple pie and Chevrolet. ❜
  • ❛ Chili powder. Did I not already tell you how moronic that was? ❜
  • ❛ Tortuga means turtle, and that’s me. I take my time but I always win. ❜
  • ❛ Tread lightly. ❜
  • ❛ Why should we do anything more than once? Should I just smoke this one cigarette? ❜
  • ❛ Say my name. ❜
  • ❛ Being the best at something is a very rare thing. You don’t just toss something lile that away. ❜
  • ❛ Yeah, you do have a little shit creek action happening. ❜
  • ❛ If we had enough money, nobody could make us do anything. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve seen better acting in an epileptic whore house. ❜
  • ❛ MILFs, what the hell is a MILF? ❜
  • ❛ Does the Pope shit in his hat? ❜
  • ❛ He was naked, naked in a supermarket? It wasn’t Whole Foods, was it? ❜
  • ❛ Paying my debt with illicit gambling winnings, I don’t know. It feels wrong. ❜
  • ❛ This kicks like a mule with its balls wrapped in duct tape! ❜
  • ❛ These shoes make me look like I should be changing bedpans, like I should be squeaking around bringing soup to some disgusting old person—then take the bus home to my 16 cats. ❜
  • ❛ I loved school when I was your age. Seesaws, story time, chasing girls with sticks. ❜

anonymous asked:

May I have some angsty Kyoutani that turns into fluff? Like, him and his s/o are fighting over something BIG and it ends up in cuddles or something?

Hi dear, sorry if I made you wait! As request, from angst to fluff with our Maddog-chan! I hope you like it!

Kyoutani x Reader, From Angst to Fluff, Argument&Cuddles

“If you have a fucking problem just say it!” Kyoutani growled at you, clenching his fists and glaring as if he was going to murder you.

You hissed, angry as much as him.

“That’s what I’m doing, idiot! You came back at midnight! Midnight! I was waiting for you, I cooked for you and you didn’t even send me a fucking text!” you yelled angrily, feeling tears at the corner of your eyes. But you didn’t want to cry, you just wanted to vent your anger.

The both of you were standing in the living room of your shared apartment, roaring at each other. On the table, there was still the cold food you had prepared and at your feet laid the blanket Kyoutani had put on you while you were sleeping on the couch. And whose fault it was you were sleeping there? His. It was half past midnight and with all the noise you were making, you’ll probably be kicked out from the palace but you didn’t care.

It was the fourth time in two weeks he returned home so late without telling you before, leaving you alone like a dog waiting for his owner.

“I told you I was at practice!” he replied banging his fist against the table, startling you, “Why you don’t believe me? Am I so untrusty?”

“Then tell me you moron! Tell me you’re going to be late! Tell me it’s practice. Tell me you’re not going to eat with me! Tell me I don’t to have to work my ass cooking for you! Fucking. Tell. Me.” You screamed trembling, “Don’t leave me waiting like an abandoned dog! Don’t grunt instead of answering when I ask you where you were! Don’t make me feel just like an extra! Is it so difficult?”

“YOU’VE ALWAYS KNOWN HOW IMPORTANT VOLLEYBALL WAS FOR ME!” he took a step forward and banged again his hand on the table.

“BUT IT THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME TOO!” You finally broke down. Tears streamed down your face and you started sobbing, wrapping your arms around the waist as to protect yourself from him.

 “I thought you loved me too…” you repeated in a desperate whisper, fixing your wet eyes on the ground.

Kyoutani didn’t reply and stood there shocked, watching your tears and the way you seemed so fragile and lonely, so scared, but you didn’t have to courage to raise your eyes to look at him.

Then you heard the boy moving and suddenly his arms were around you. He grabbed your chin with a hand and kissed you roughly, passionate and angry at the same time. You tried to put up a faint resistance but his familiars warmth, the way he moved his tongue inside your mouth and he caressed your back made you lose your strength.

“I love you. I love you,” he growled furiously, sinking his head in the crook of your neck and squeezing you tightly, “I’m sorry.”

You nodded faintly and hugged him too, a bit trembly and without stopping crying.

“I’ll promise to remember,” He sworn almost desperately, “But don’t look at me like that. Like I’ve cheated on you or like I’ve abandoned you. It’s not gonna happen, put it in your mind.”

You nodded again, trying to restrain your sobs. The anger died and relief overcame you. You knew he was saying the truth, that he was going to do his best again. You two were always like that: you made mistakes, you fought and then you started again. Yours was whirling but strong love.

“Cuddle me. Now. To apologize.” You whined in answer, stroking his hair.

He chuckled against the skin of your shoulder.

“Spoiled brat,” he said with a smirk on his lips. His hands moved down to your waist and he straightened.

“Couch or bed?” he rolled his eyes and you finally let out a giggle. The sound of it was a balsam to his soul.

“Bed. Prince-carry me please.” You added with a blushing smile and, before he could reply, you jumped in his arms. He caught you without efforts, but scowled and pinched your thigh either way.

“Tomorrow you’re the one dealing with the neighbors.” He warned you, bringing you to the bedroom.

You snorted, wrapping the arms around his neck.

“We are,” You corrected.




“W-” he stopped you midsentence with a kiss. You talked too much and were too stubborn.

“We’ll see tomorrow.” He groaned defeated when he saw the pout on your face, “Now let me apologize,” softly murmured before closing the door and throwing you on the bed.

the signs as Lorelai Gilmore quotes

aries: “I love it when I talk and no one listens, makes me think of home”

taurus: “I don’t like problems. I avoid them when I can and I don’t like people pointing them out to me”   

gemini: “you have so many years of screw ups ahead of you”   

cancer: “now repeat after me: I am completely helpless”   

leo: “I hate when I’m an idiot and don’t know it. I like to be aware of my idiocracy” 

virgo: “I don’t like mondays, but unfortunately they come around eventually”

libra: “I’m afraid that once your heart’s involved it’ll all come out moron”

scorpio: “You are full of hate and loathing, and I gotta tell you, I love it”  

sagittarius: “there’s plenty to do tonight that we can be mortified about tommorrow”   

capricorn: “the drinks fortify us. the drinks give us strength. the drinks get us drunk”

aquarius: “You know, if we died right now, and decomposed, it would vacuum us up and no one would ever know” 

pisces: “and if eating cake is wrong, I don’t want to be right” 

you’ve been gilmored!!! 

Hanging On


Anon Request: Deadpool x reader where the reader has a biokenisis power where she can affect the biology of living things (make them move/change physically how she wants) and is able to heal Wade. Vanessa had broken up with Wade and once she heals him he leaves to try and get her back (she expecting him to). She leaves for a while to try and get over her feelings and Weasle explains to Wade why she left when he asks where she was lately. Hope that makes sense!

A/N: I cannot apologize enough for this super late catch up on responses- life just happened but thank god for a holiday weekend! I will be writing more now so requests will be filled! I love you all!!!

Warning: Swearing because THIS IS DEADPOOL PEOPLE!

Originally posted by marvelheroes

Having a power sucked because everyone who knew you had one believed you were a superhero- you were super, but you weren’t a hero.

Project X was a fun little vacation your mind tried to block but the damn memories kept seeping through- the power reminder was the biggest trigger. Tortured beyond comprehension for days on end by Ajax, you finally broke and your power appeared like a nuclear bomb on your brain. As soon as you were conscious again, you discovered the biokenisis- you could move shit with your mind!

You knew most people thought that shit was epic but it was a sign of your weakness, you had failed to stay strong against the regime of Project X. The only redeeming thing about that hell was meeting Wade Wilson, he was hilarious and tried so hard to make you laugh, even when you were both exhausted from the agony.

“Hey Y/N?” he would ask you from his bed across the room.

“Yeah Wade” you answered, already knowing it was going to be a stupid joke.

“What do you call a cheap circumcision?” he chuckled prematurely.

“What?” you`d smile, looking at the ceiling.

“A rip off” he guffawed at his own joke.

“Jesus, Wade” you`d complain but laugh anyway.

He was the burst of light in this hellhole.

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jovialfire  asked:


((send me a 💌 and i’ll tell you something i associate with you))

The muffled sound of laughter and excited screams you hear as you walk away from a long day at a Carnaval, the clinking of tea cups and glass cups at 2AM as you sneak quietly down the hall to put them in the sink, the sound of unwanted floor boards creaking, the twirling of a wand, ruffled pages of an old book, the haunting eyes of an Owl, and the form of a young dragon.