And He’s Bishop Now
I became great friend with a guy at work and we would always hang out when the day was being slow. We often joked about how hard it is dating because the other person is always so quick to drop you for something better. My friend assured me that things would get better, it just makes sense for people to fall in love with someone else when they are guided by the spirit and bullshit like that. Since he was married (and with a kid) he used his family as proof that he was doing things right and that I need to hold fast to the gospel to find someone. He would help me quit drinking coffee, make sure I was going to all my YSA activities and was a really good friend…. or so I thought. I guess I should have noticed how he never commented on my “immodesty” as my bishop would, or he would always want details of the dates I would go on. I began to steer the conversation away from me because I felt we were being to familiar, we need to be coworkers first and friends second. Then he dropped the ball on me. He told me that if he wasn’t married that he would be with me. This came out of the blue. I felt red, I was silent thinking to myself what did I do to lead him on? I never liked him like that. Then he asked me about my underwear. He said that since I obviously wasn’t wearing garments he wanted to know what I was wearing. He was good friends with my boss (best friends since they were young) and so I just told him i was wearing the regular kind? I turned to leave (thank goodness the phone started ringing), then he grabbed me by my ponytail and rubbed himself on me. I didn’t say a word to anyone. Like the good TBM I was, I went to my bishop. I cried and I told him everything. That’s when it all came crumbling down for me I guess. My bishop wanted to get him involved to know what really happened. I said I didn’t want to see him outside of work and I just wanted to talk to someone to get this out of my head. I of course couldn’t go to my parents, they would make me quit or something worse would happen. I just wanted my bishop to listen to what I had to say. Then my bishop looked me square in the face and said, “well you’re a pretty girl. What do you wear to work?” I felt like a sinner. He said I needed to repent. I wasn’t allowed to take the sacrament, I wasn’t allowed to pray. Guys in my ward stopped asking me out on dates so who knows what my bishop told them. The next time I met with my bishop he told me he talked to the bishop of my coworker to “sort things out”. He told me things are a little complicated, “He’s being called to be the bishop over there, obviously you need to drop this. You need to leave him alone.” Just like that, my “friend” said I initiated everything, and he would turn me down. He said he let me keep my job because I had nowhere else to go. When I heard he would be bishop, my heart broke for the YW. It still makes me sick when I think about it. A few weeks later I got the fuck out of Utah, but not a day goes by where I don’t think about what these men “called of God” did to me. It helped me realize that these men were not called of God. I look back and I think of all the previous things I confessed to my bishop… things that are so personal and not at all bad things. How he writes them down, how he made his ward clerk take notes when my bf and i would meet together. I feel sick. I need to get this out. Fathers, brothers, husbands, wives, mothers, anyone! do NOT let your daughters or anyone go in with a bishop alone. I hope my story will help people realize that these men are not called of God. It’s a boys club, and in some places it’s a very perverted boy’s club.